March 03, 2018: Saturday ONAIRprep

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The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. Conclusion: Eat & drink what you like. It’s speaking English that kills you.

Walking can add minutes to your life.  This enables you at 85 years old to spend an extra 5 months in a nursing home at $7,000 per month.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information in our heads.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Have you noticed? Girl Scout cookie season is scientifically timed to occur just as people are giving up on their New Year’s resolutions.

PRESIDENTIAL WIT & WISDOM (click here to buy the book)

(None on the weekends or holidays.)


He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. –Proverbs 17:9

Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. — Psalm 73:25-26

Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved. — Acts 4:12



Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away. — Psalm 37:1-2

Thought: Frustration and envy… hmmm, isn’t that our reaction to those who are evil and yet seem to prosper? We’re reminded to not let the apparent and short-lived successes of evil people derail our faith or dampen our spirits. Their victories are temporary, their wealth is like a flower that will wilt, and their life is like the grass which withers and is soon gone.

Prayer: LORD God Almighty, praise your holy and matchless name. You have blessed me mightily. You have protected me in the face of my enemies. You have given me life, and hope, and future with you. Now please, dear Father, help me to avoid wasting my time worrying about what others have. Please give me a heart of thanksgiving for, and contentment with, all that you have done to bless me. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to

BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY (The chapter and verse correspond to the month and day!)

Psalm 3:3 NIV = But you are a shield around me, O LORD; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.


(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)

Today is I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY DAY, a day to be thoughtful to others. ***Although, if they’d really have been thoughtful, they would’ve let us known about this a bit sooner. I’m not very good at being happy without any notice.

Today is WHAT IF CATS AND DOGS HAD THUMBS DAY. ***I can tell you one thing – if pets had thumbs I certainly wouldn’t be cleaning out my own cat’s litter box.

Today is NATIONAL ANTHEM DAY. The “Star Spangled Banner” became the U.S. National Anthem on March 3, 1931.


I Want You To Be Happy Day
International Ear Care Day

National Frozen Food Day
National Mulled Wine Day
National Anthem Day
Pasty Day
Princess Day
Simplify Your Life Day
Sock Monkey Day
Soup It Forward Day
What If Cats and Dogs Had Opposable Thumbs? Day
World Birth Defects Day
World Wildlife Day

COMING UP NEXT (Just a list, we are not endorsing the holidays posted below. Find more holidays and link to their websites at


Academy Awards (Oscars)
*Benjamin Harrison Day
Courageous Follower Day
Daughters’ and Sons’ Day
Finisher’s Medal Day
Holy Experiment Day
Hug A G.I. Day
International Scrapbooking Industry Day
March Forth-Do Something Day
Marching Music Day
Namesake Day
National Grammar Day
Old Inauguration Day
Toy Soldier Day


Casimir Pulaski Day
Fun Facts About Names Day
National Absinthe Day
National Poutine Day
Saint Piran’s Day
World Tennis Day


National Dress Day
Oreo Cookie Day
Peace Corps Day
Sofia Kovalevskaya Math Day

Unique Names Day


Cereal Day
National Be Heard Day
National Cereal Day

Discover What Your Name Means Day


Day for Women’s Rights & International Peace
Girls Write Now Day
International Women’s Day
International Working Women’s Day
Nametag Day
National Proofreading Day
National Peanut Cluster Day
National Retro Video Game Day
The Bikini Bottom Free (Crabcakes)
World Kidney Day


Barbie Day
Get Over It Day
Joe Franklin Day
Middle Name Pride Day
National Day of Unplugging
Panic Day
Shabbat Across America/Canada
US Snow Shoe Days


Genealogy Day
International Bagpipe Day
International Day of Awesomeness
Land Line Telephone Day
Mario Day
National Urban Ballroom Dancing Day
Salvation Army Day
US Paper Money Day
Women & Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day

International Fanny Pack Day


Check Your Batteries Day
Daylight Savings Time Begins
Dream 2018 Day
Girl Scout Sunday
Johnny Appleseed Day
Mothering Sunday
National Promposal Day
World Plumbing Day

Fill Our Staplers Day
Girl Scout Birthday Day
Napping Day


1791: Congress passed a resolution ordering the U.S. Mint be established. ***Yet even today, halitosis is still a country-wide problem.

1845: Florida became our 27th state. ***It was a great deal. Spain not only gave us the state, but they threw in the Keys <tap… tap… tap…> Is this thing on?

1879: Attorney Belva Ann Lockwood became the first woman to argue a case before the U.S. Supreme Court. She also was America’s first woman presidential candidate.

1903: Barney Gilmore was arrested in St. Louis for spitting.

1931: President Hoover signed the bill that made the “Star Spangled Banner” our official national anthem. ***Before that it was Sir Mix A Lot’s “Baby Got Back”.

1931: Cab Calloway recorded “Minnie The Moocher.” It became the first jazz recording to sell a million copies.

1966: Neil Young, Stephen Stills and Richie Furay formed the group Buffalo Springfield.

1981: In Argentina, Ricardo Hoffman jumped into the water and began a 299-mile non-stop swim in four days in the Parana River. The Parana?

1985: The crime-comedy Moonlighting debuted on ABC-TV. It starred Cybill Shepherd and Bruce Willis. (audio clip)

1988: Soldier of Fortune magazine was ordered to pay $9.4-million to the family of Sandra Black for letting her killer advertise his services in the magazine’s classified ad section. Mrs. Black’s husband, Robert, was sentenced to death in Texas for paying $10,000 to have his wife killed.

1988: Singer Luciano Pavarotti set a record with 165 curtain calls at a West Berlin opera. The standing ovation lasted 67 minutes.

1991: George Holliday videotaped Los Angeles police officers beating Rodney King.

1992: John Outzen and Andre, Carl, and Dennis Boucher arrived in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, after a 10,252-mile trip from Anchorage in 62 days. They were the first men to travel across North America on snowmobiles.

1995: Motorist Rodney King was severely beaten by Los Angeles police officers in a scene captured on amateur video.

1996: When a Washington, D.C., bandit ran away from the woman he robbed at an ATM machine, his pants fell down. A passing motorist photographed the thief trying to pull up his pants; he was identified from the photo, and arrested.

1999: A Singapore man was sentenced to 25 weeks in jail for stealing over 60 pairs of smelly shoes. The man claimed he was addicted to the smell, a sneaker snorter, and donated the stolen shoes to the Salvation Army once the smell waned.

2003: Penguin Group announced Madonna had written five illustrated story books for readers aged 6 and above.

2005: Steve Fossett became the first person to fly around the world alone without stopping or refueling, landing in central Kansas after a 67-hour, 23,000-mile trip.

2007: Instead of lying down after being shot with a tranquilizer dart, an angry moose near Gustavus, Alaska, charged a hovering helicopter, damaged the aircraft’s tail rotor, and forced it to the ground. No one in the chopper was injured, but the moose was maimed by the spinning rotor and had to be killed.


1263: French cardinal, Hugh of St. Cher, dies. He reputedly compiled the first Bible concordance and was the first person to divide the Old and New Testaments into chapters.

1547: At the Seventh Session of the Council of Trent, the Roman Catholic church defines its theology of the sacraments. Arguing that seven sacraments are necessary for salvation—Baptism, Confirmation, the Eucharist, Penance, Extreme Unction, Orders, and Matrimony—the council rejected the teaching of most Protestants that only two were required: Baptism and the Lord’s Supper.


  • actress (The Illusionist, Next, “7TH Heaven”) Jessica Biel 36 (audio clip)

  • actor (“That 70’s Show”) Danny Masterson, 42

  • actor (“Married With Children”) David Faustino, 44

  • actress (“Modern Family”) Julie Bowen, 48

  • actress (Sleepy Hollow, The Crying Game, The Hours, Fred Clause) Miranda Richardson 60

  • Producer/director (Mad Max) George Miller, 73


(Music Artist Birthdays From

1942 : Mike Pender (The Searchers)

1944 : Jance Garfat (Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show)

1947 : Jennifer Warnes

1947 : “Blue” Weaver (Mott The Hoople, The Strawbs)

1950 : Re Styles (The Tubes)

1953 : Robyn Hitchcock

1953 : Ricky Helton Wilson (The B-52’s)

1966 : Tone-Loc

1969 : John Bigham (Fishbone)

1977 : Ronan Keating (Boyzone)

1986 : Stacie Orrico

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE (Answering questions that have plagued mankind for minutes!)

Was there a real Liberty Tree in Boston during the American Revolution?

Yes. The Liberty Tree was an Elm tree believed to be about 120 years old at the time of the Revolution and was known originally as the Great Tree due to its massive size and handsome shape. It was located on present day Washington Street at Essex, next to a former 17th century dwelling.

One August morning in 1765, Bostonians awoke to discover two effigies of British officials hanging from the lower limbs, with one of them labeled as “The Stamp Officer.”

The Great Tree then became known as The Liberty Tree and was used as a rallying place for American Patriots. The Tree became famous throughout the American colonies and in England as well. It was eventually cut down by the British and gleefully turned into 14 cords of wood.


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(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)


(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)


(Not updated on weekends and U.S. holidays.)


OPEN:, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As The Jungle Turns! Last time, Cheetah Bonita decided she didn’t want to sing three-part harmony with her sisters any longer… she wanted to go solo. But both of her sisters hated that idea – and so did Gruffy Bear. Music in the jungle just wouldn’t be the same without that three part harmony. And then, Nozzles the Elephant stopped by…

CLOSE: Boy, it’s beginning to look like everybody wants to be solo – and nobody wants to harmonize! Tune in next time for another exciting episode of As the Jungle Turns!

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of “As the Jungle Turns” in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us and ask about “Jungle Jam & Friends the Radio Show” usage.

Here’s a home safety tip from the Shimkus family of Pitman, New Jersey. A stove does not qualify as a cool, dry place to store your homemade fireworks.

…Sadly, the family wasn’t aware of this until now and they failed to tell 42-year-old Tracy Shimkus that the oven was doubling as a fireworks storage compartment. That would have been valuable information for Tracy to know before she turned the stove on and the ensuing explosion sent her to the hospital with critical injuries.



10. DO NOT EXPECT YOUR DOCTOR TO SHARE YOUR DISCOMFORT. Involvement with the patient’s suffering might cause him to lose valuable scientific objectivity.

9. BE CHEERFUL AT ALL TIMES. Your doctor leads a busy and trying life and requires all the gentleness and reassurance he can get.

8. TRY TO SUFFER FROM THE DISEASE FOR WHICH YOU ARE BEING TREATED. Remember that your doctor has a professional reputation to uphold.

7. DO NOT COMPLAIN IF THE TREATMENT FAILS TO BRING RELIEF. You must believe that your doctor has achieved a deep insight into the true nature of your illness, which transcends any mere permanent disability you may have experienced.

6. NEVER ASK YOUR DOCTOR TO EXPLAIN WHAT HE IS DOING OR WHY HE IS DOING IT. It is presumptuous to assume that such profound matters could be explained in terms that you would understand.

5. SUBMIT TO NOVEL EXPERIMENTAL TREATMENT READILY. Though the surgery may not benefit you directly, the resulting research paper will surely be of widespread interest.

4. PAY YOUR MEDICAL BILLS PROMPTLY AND WILLINGLY. You should consider it a privilege to contribute, however modestly, to the well-being of physicians and other humanitarians.

3. DO NOT SUFFER FROM AILMENTS THAT YOU CANNOT AFFORD. It is sheer arrogance to contract illnesses that are beyond your means.

2. NEVER REVEAL ANY OF THE SHORTCOMINGS THAT HAVE COME TO LIGHT IN THE COURSE OF TREATMENT BY YOUR DOCTOR. The patient-doctor relationship is a privileged one, and you have a sacred duty to protect him from exposure.

1. NEVER DIE WHILE IN YOUR DOCTOR’S PRESENCE OR UNDER HIS DIRECT CARE. This will only cause him needless inconvenience and embarrassment.


What possible excuse could you give to a police officer for going 129 mph?

FILE #1: 19-year-old Curtis Joseph Rands, of Tigard, Oregon, was recently clocked going 129 mph on his motorcycle. After cops finally caught up with him, Curtis said he had an excuse for going so fast. He was trying to find his wallet, which he thought he lost along the highway somewhere. He did not explain why he thought such excessive speed would help him locate his wallet. Hopefully he can find the wallet soon so he can pay his fines of over $7,500.

FILE #2: When a Washington, D.C., bandit ran away from the woman he robbed at an ATM machine, his pants fell down. A passing motorist photographed the thief trying to pull up his pants; he was identified from the photo, and arrested.

FILE #3: A Singapore man was sentenced to 25 weeks in jail for stealing over 60 pairs of smelly shoes. The man claimed he was addicted to the smell, a sneaker snorter, and donated the stolen shoes to the Salvation Army once the smell waned.

STRANGE LAW: In Alabama no fake mustaches that cause laughter are allowed in a church.


This Is Your Brain On Drugs” is about people doing dumb things under the influence, but addiction is no laughing matter. If you or someone you know needs help, there’s a toll free number you can call 1-800-438-0380. That’s the Addiction Hope and Help Line at 1-800-438-0380.

Banks are a great place to deposit your valuables – but it’s not the right place to deposit ALL valuables. Like crystals… well, crystal meth.

In Kitsap, Washington, an 18-year-old woman has been arrested after allegedly depositing crystal meth into her bank account. The young lady allegedly put an envelope containing a bag of crystal meth into an ATM machine at the Kitsap Credit Union. Police believe that was an accident — or maybe she was just high as a kite. Either way, when an employee of the bank opened the envelope, she immediately called police. The woman later admitted she may have accidentally put the bag into the deposit envelope when she reached into her pants pocket to get money.


With the economy as tough as it is, why not just go to cool vacation spots that are nearby instead of travelling out of town? Places that are, say, within a two or three hour drive? We’re looking for cheap vacation ideas… have any? Free museums? Cheap tourist attractions? What’s within three hours drive of here that you could consider an inexpensive yet worthwhile vacation spot?


QUESTION: In the book of Revelation, How many were sealed from each tribe of Israel?

ANSWER: 12,000 (Revelation7:5-8)


QUESTION: Why is it ironic that Mel Blanc was the voice of Bugs Bunny?

ANSWER: He was allergic to carrots


Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

1. The first U.S. minimum wage was $1.25 per hour. (False – it was 25 cents per hour. In 1938, President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed into law the first minimum wage in the United States. The new law, considered controversial at the time, established a 25 cent-per-hour minimum wage and a maximum 44-hour work week for minors.)

2. The original Monopoly game had no pieces for players to move. (True. The classic metal tokens that roam the streets of Atlantic City in the game Monopoly were not part of the original game. When Monopoly was first introduced, it didn’t include any game pieces, only suggestions that players use household items like buttons and pennies.)

3. If you are mysophobic, you have an intense fear of infection. (True)

4. Thomas Jefferson once introduced a bill to outlaw slavery. (True. While serving in Congress, Thomas Jefferson introduced a bill that attempted to bar slavery from all future states admitted to the Union, a measure that might later have prevented the U.S. Civil War if it had not been defeated — by a single vote.)

5. Only about 30% of men drop to one knee to propose marriage. (False – 72%)

6. 27% of pet owners celebrate their pet’s birthday with a party. (True)

7. Ford’s most fuel-efficient vehicle in 2003 got about 36 miles to the gallon. The maximum mileage of it’s 1912 Model T was 35 miles to the gallon. (True!)

8. 15% of Americans say they “never” make their beds. (False – 5%)

9. 1 in 3 lottery winners end up going broke. (True – at least the males do.)

10. Number of times you will roll over in bed tonight if you are an average sleeper: 12 (True)


You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!


A Roman Catholic church ordained a 70-year-old woman a priest in Louisville, Kentucky.

About 150 women from all over the world have been ordained by the Roman Catholic Church even though the church bans them from becoming priests.

Rosemarie Smead is starting her own congregation and is not worried about being excommunicated.

“It is a medieval bullying stick the bishops used to keep control over people and to keep the voices of women silent,” she said. “I am way beyond letting octogenarian men tell us how to live our lives.”

Several octogenarian priests sent her a letter that said simply:  ”Watch your back!”

Smead, a former Carmelite nun with a bachelor’s in theology and a doctorate in counseling psychology, wept throughout the ceremony.

According to a recent New York Times/CBS News poll, seventy percent of U.S. Catholics believe women should be allowed to be priests.

In a statement last week, Louisville Archbishop Marlon E. Mertz called the ceremony a “joyful event.”

But, according to Roman Catholic law ordaining a priest carries very serious penal sanctions in Church law.  And anybody that participated in the ordination will, most likely, burn in hell forever.

“As a woman priest, Rosemarie is leading, not leaving the Catholic Church, into a new era of inclusivity,” said Bishop Bridget Mary Meehan during her sermon Saturday. “As the Irish writer James Joyce reminded us, the word ‘Catholic’ means ‘Here comes everybody!’”



During a revival, the visiting evangelist arrived without his allergy medicine.

Our pastor put him in touch with a doctor in our church for an emergency prescription to get him through the week. The evangelist was so appreciative of the doctor that during the last service, he recommended the doctor to the entire crowd. The ensuing laughter was a mystery to him until after the service.

That was when the host pastor informed him that he had just recommended the local OB-GYN.


“These hills are getting steeper as the years go by,” one complained.

“These fairways seem to be getting longer too,” said one of the others.

“The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too,” said the third senior.

After hearing enough from his senior buddies, the oldest, and the wisest of the four of them at 87 years old, piped up and said, “Just be thankful we’re still on this side of the grass!”


A guy stood over his tee shot for a long time, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. All this was driving his golfing partner nuts. Finally, his exasperated partner said, “Just hit the stupid ball!”

The guy answered, “My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.” “Forget it, man,” said the partner. “There’s no way you can hit her from here.”


A pay raise may benefit more than your wallet, it could boost your looks. In a study of more than 1,500 twins, women who earned less appeared to age faster than those who got bigger paychecks, “Aging Cell” reports. The defining factor: shorter chromosome ends, found more commonly in the lower income group. Chromosomes divide and get smaller with age; the scientists theorized the stress of being strapped for cash accelerated the aging process. ***So if someone says, “You look like a million bucks!” it’s like getting an extra compliment!

In defiance of anti-whaling activists, a Japanese fast food chain has begun offering a whale burger.  ***It weighs six tons, but if you can finish it in less than 45-minutes, it’s free!



A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.

“Mr. Smith, you’re going to be just fine,” said the nun, gently patting his hand. “We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?”

“No, I’m not,” the man whispered hoarsely.

“Can you pay in cash?” persisted the nun.

“I’m afraid I cannot, Sister.”

“Well, do you have any close relatives?” the nun essayed.

“Just my sister in New Mexico,” he volunteered. “But she’s a humble spinster nun.”

“Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not ‘spinsters.’ They are married to God.”

“Wonderful,” said Smith. “In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in-law.”


There’s an old Chinese saying that goes “beauty comes before life”.

That phrase rang true at Hong Kong nail salon that caught fire. Rebecca Lee, owner of the Fingertrix nail salon, and two staff members were putting acrylic finger nails on to two customers when fire broke out on the rooftop of their building. But the five women opted not to exit immediately despite being warned by security guards that they should leave. The women said they didn’t want to leave until their nails were finished and the workers said they wanted to make sure they finished their jobs! Happy with their polished nails, the women left more than an hour later, after the fire had been put out.


Unclean was the word the Pharisees most feared. They spent hours washing pots, spots, and dots! They followed and amplified to impossible proportions every little hygienic requirement of the Mosaic Law. Jesus answered the objections of the Pharisees by pointing out that unclean refers more to a state of the heart than to a state of the hands.
Bad attitudes, anger, adulteries, and arrogance cannot be removed from the human heart by any amount of hand washing. Unlike unclean foods that are simply processed through the body and the wastes removed naturally, unclean attitudes sit like poison in the human spirit and wait to spring into actions.
Aaron learned the mystery of cleansing before God: “Then he must dip his finger into the blood and sprinkle it seven times over the altar. In this way, he will cleanse it from Israel’s defilement and return it to its former holiness” (Leviticus 16:19). Water may cleanse the body, but only blood can cleanse the spirit! Reach out and apply that blood to your spirit today.

–Larry Stockstill



Read: Romans 8:12-18

If by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. —Romans 8:13

Nature is violent. Life and death are the law of field, stream, and jungle. A lion stalks a gazelle. A heron stands motionless at the edge of a pond, its sharp beak poised and ready to kill. High overhead a red-tailed hawk holds its deadly talons close to its body, watching for movement in the grass below. A leopard family exists at a zebra’s expense. Each survives on another’s demise. This sounds natural enough, but it’s more graphic than most of us care to watch.

The principle that nothing lives unless something else dies extends beyond nature to our daily walk with God. Interests of the flesh must succumb to the interests of the Spirit, or else the interests of the Spirit will succumb to the interests of the flesh (Romans 8:13). In the jungles and fields and streams of our own heart, something must always die so that something else can live.

We can’t be committed to Christ and to the world at the same time. We can’t be filled with His Spirit if we are protecting the life of selfish interests. That’s why our Lord said so pointedly that we will need to die daily to ourselves if we are going to walk with Him (Luke 9:23-24). We must continually choose what will have to die so that Christ can live freely in us. —Mart De Haan II

Is there any life so blessed
As one lived for Christ alone,
When the heart from self is emptied,
And instead becomes His throne? —Anon.

To live for Christ, we must die to self.



Students are asked to stay after school… for 29 hours in a row!

A world record has been broken! Dutch students have spent 29 hours in a row in class to break the previous Guinness world record by 5 hours. The teenagers were not allowed to sleep and survived on a diet of soup, light meals and fruit (no caffeine).  They say they almost fell asleep during math and philosophy lessons. ***MARLAR: But then, that always happen during math and philosophy.


Need a few tricks to control your appetite? Here are 10 great ways to outwit your appetite:

  • Feed it protein for breakfast. You’ll be less hungry later on and end up eating 267 fewer calories during the day. At least that’s what happened on days when St. Louis University researchers gave overweight women two scrambled eggs and two slices of jelly-topped toast for breakfast rather than about half that protein.

  • Make it climb a flight of stairs. At home, store the foods that tempt you most way out of reach. For instance, Cornell University food psychologist Brian Wansink, PhD, keeps his favorite soda in a basement fridge. “Half the time I’m too lazy to run down there to get it, so I drink the water in the kitchen.”

  • Sleep on it. People who don’t get their eight hours of zzz’s experience hormonal fluctuations that increase appetite, report researchers.

  • Give it something else to think about. When scientists scanned the brains of people eating different foods, they found that the brain reacts to fat in the mouth in much the same way that the nose responds to a pleasant aroma. So if you feel a craving coming on, apply your favorite scent.

  • Never let it see a heaping plate. The more food that’s in front of you, the more you’ll eat. So at a restaurant, ask your waiter to pack up half of your meal before serving it to you, then eat the extras for lunch the next day.

  • Put it under the lights. You consume fewer calories at a well-lit restaurant table than you do dining in a dark corner. “In the light, you’re more self-conscious and worry that other patrons are watching what you eat,” explains Wansink.

  • Talk it down. Entertaining friends with a great story doesn’t give you much time to eat up, so you’ll probably still have food on your plate when they’re done. Once they’re finished, call it quits too.

  • Offer it a seat. If you sit down to snack — and use utensils and a plate — you’ll eat fewer calories at subsequent meals.

  • Satisfy it with soup. Start lunch with about 130 calories worth of vegetable soup and you’ll eat 20 percent fewer calories during lunch overall, say Penn State experts.

  • Give it little choice. Packages that contain assorted varieties of cookies, candy, dips, cheese, etc., make you want to try all the flavors. The effect is so powerful, says Wansink, that when people are given 10 colors of M&Ms to munch on, not seven, they eat 30 percent more!



The extensive use of e-mail instead of handwritten letters is apparently taking its toll on China’s post office.

…In addition to delivering mail, the post offices in China are now using their resources to deliver food and escort brides to wedding ceremonies. Beijing residents can call the post office and have food from a local restaurant delivered to their door, while Nanchang bridegrooms can have their brides delivered to their wedding in a decorated motorcade. Officials say they are moving away from traditional mail deliveries because increasing numbers of Chinese people are communicating via e-mail and telephone.  ***MARLAR: Imagine these people going through their mail every day! “Let’s see. . . bills ,bills, junk mail, bills, my dinner, bills, junk mail, my bride, bills, bills. . .”



  • CEO frequently overheard mumbling, “Eeny, meeny, miney moe.”

  • Company softball team now a chess team.

  • Company president now driving a Hyundai.

  • Annual company holiday bash moved from Sheraton banquet room to abandoned Fotomat booth.

  • Giant “Yard Sale” sign in front of corporate headquarters.

  • Single girls in marketing suddenly start dating personnel managers.

  • Company dental plan now consists of pliers and string.



A runaway bride hailed a cab and told the driver she had changed her mind at the altar and decided NOT to marry the groom. At the end of the cab ride, she tipped the driver her entire wedding cake which she said she didn’t need anyway.  ***MARLAR: The cabbie cuts the cake… the cabbie cuts the cake…


(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)


(Feel-good stories! Only posted as new stories come available. Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)


(Only posted as stories come available. Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)


I gotta get out of here.  Today I have to try and take down the Christmas tree. It’s really a shame, too. I just got the lights to work yesterday.


Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 35 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).

MARCH 02, 2018…

Death Wish—Just the title brings up the familiar Charles Bronson dead-eye look of revenge. Through five films, he played the same character, going from city to city, tracking down the ones the law couldn’t touch. Bruce Willis reprises the role of Paul Kersey, here a doctor. Kersey goes on a revenge trek when his wife (Elisabeth Shue) and daughter (Camila Marrone) are fatally attacked by criminals. What does a doctor know about weapons and stealth? Plenty. Of course, the law either gets in the way or can’t do a thing. Plenty of action and chases here. The character comes from the 1972 book by Brian Garfield, with the first film out in 1974. Bronson’s career seem to land on variations of this man seeking revenge for the helpless. Whether it was present day or the old West, the chase was on. In the 2018 “Death Wish,” the cast includes Mike Epps, Vincent Young. Dean Norris and Beau Knapp. The same theme: everyone is in Paul Kersey‘s way. “Death Wish” is rated R. Rating of 2 for fans.

Red Sparrow—Adapted from the book by Jason Matthews, the plot has a young girl selected to be trained as a ballerina and then a spy. This is what happens when she falls for someone from the other side. Jennifer Lawrence stars and also in the cast are Joel Edgerton, Mary-Louise Parker and Charlotte Rampling. “Red Sparrow” is rated R. No rating.

MARCH 09, 2018…

Wrinkle In Time is a screen adaptation of the Madeleine L’Engles book and stars Oprah Winfrey.

Gringo concerns a business man mixed up in crime. Stars David Oyelowa.

Hurricane Heist is about a gang trying to pull off a major robbery during a hurricane. The star is Toby Kebbell.

The Upside is a comedy about a criminal trying to reform Stars Nichole Kidman and Kevin Hart.

Thoroughbreds has two girls trying to rekindle their friendship. This marks the last film for the late actor Anton Yelchin of “Star Trek.”

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