May 13, 2018: Sunday ONAIRprep

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PRINT VERSIONS OF TODAY’S PREP:
ODT: 20180513
PDF: 20180513

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WELCOME TO THE SHOW!

Remember, if you wish to leave the show and return while it’s in progress, you must get your hand stamped at the door.

PRESIDENTIAL WIT & WISDOM (click here to buy the book)

(None on the weekends or holidays.)

BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY

“As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the person.” –Proverbs 27:19

There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life in Christ has set me free from the law of sin and death. — Romans 8:1-2

Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits — who forgives all our sins and heals all our diseases… — Psalm 103:2-3

HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT

(From VerseOfTheDay.com)

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. — Ephesians 4:26-27

Thought: Pent up anger is an explosion waiting to happen. Sooner or later, the pent up frustration will explode, either in our own life or into the life of someone else. Jesus taught us to forgive and to reconcile (Matthew 18). Anger must be dealt with. Otherwise the devil will use it to abuse us as well as others in our lives. Don’t give him a foothold in your life. If you give him an inch (2.54 cm), he’ll take a mile (1.61 km)!

Prayer: Father in heaven, thank you for the ability to get angry at the things that anger you. Please help me channel that emotion in ways that are productive and help me to be repulsed at evil. Please stir my heart to reconciliation, especially when that anger is against one of your children. By the power of your Holy Spirit, help me to forgive as you have forgiven me. In the name of Jesus, my Lord, I pray. Amen.

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@heartlight.org.

BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY (The chapter and verse correspond to the month and day!)

1 John 5:13 NIV = I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.

TODAY IS TUESDAY – MAY 13, 2018

(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY
225 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL NEXT CHRISTMAS.

Today is NATIONAL ASTRONOMY DAY. ***That’s astronomy, not astrology. There’s a big difference between the two. Astronomy studies the position of stars just for the sake of studying them, while astrology is full of space cases that think the rotation of Jupiter has something to do with why they aren’t married or rich. Personally, I think the reason they aren’t married or successful yet is that they spend too much time placing responsibility on the planets for their life’s successes rather than going out and working towards it.

Speaking of stars, planets, and the universe, this is UNIVERSAL FAMILY WEEK. ***I don’t remember seeing a pageant or anything claiming one family “Universal Family” over another… maybe that happened a couple of weeks ago during TV-Turn-Off week. Of course, it’s not really a Universal Family Week though, not literally at least. Otherwise they’d be including families from Mars and Ry-Gell 7.

NATIONAL POLICE WEEK. The following quotes were taken from actual police car videos around the country:

  • “Relax. The handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them a while.”

  • “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”

  • “Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn’t know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun.”

  • “Warning? You want a warning? Okay, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”

  • “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”

  • “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we want.”

  • “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”

  • “You didn’t think we gave pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Now sign here.”

TODAY IS ALSO…

Armed Forces Day Crossband Military/Amateur Radio Communications Test
Children of Fallen Patriots Day
Crouton Day
Frog Jumping Day
Hummus Day
Mother’s Day
Mother’s At The Wall Day

COMING UP NEXT (Just a list, we are not endorsing the holidays posted below. Find more holidays and link to their websites at BrownieLocks.com)

MONDAY, MAY 14

Accountant’s Day or Accounting Day
National Chicken Dance Day
National Women’s Check-up Day
The Stars and Stripes Forever Day
Underground America Day

TUESDAY, MAY 15

Hyperemisis Gravidarum Awareness Day
International Day of Families
International MPS Awareness Day
National Chocolate Chip Day
National Slider Day (the food)
National Tuberous Sclerosis Day
Nylon Stockings Day
Peace Officer Memorial Day
Straw Hat Day

WEDNESDAY, MAY 16

Biographer’s Day
International Day of Light
Mimosa Day
National Employee Health & Fitness Day
National Juice Slush Day
National Piercing Day
National Sea Monkey Day
Honor Our LGBT Elders’ Day
Ramadan begins
Turn Beauty Inside Out Day

THURSDAY, MAY 17
Syttende Mai
World Hypertension Day
World Telecommunications and Information Society Day
World Neurofibromatosis Day (NF Day)

FRIDAY, MAY 18

Buy A Musical Instrument Day
Endangered Species Day
HIV Vaccine Awareness Day
I Love Reeses Day
International Virtual Assistants Day
Mother Whistler Day
NASCAR Day
National Bike to Work Day
National Defense Transportation Day
National Museum Day
National Pizza Party Day
O. Henry Pun-off Day
Visit Your Relatives Day

SATURDAY, MAY 19

Armed Forces Day
Boys Club Day
Do Dah Day
May Ray Day: 19
Morel Mushroom Day
National Asian & Pacific Islander HIV/AIDS Awareness Day
National Learn To Swim Day
National Scooter Day
National Hepatitus Testing Day
Preakness

SUNDAY, MAY 20

World Autoimmune Arthritis Day
Bay to Breakers Race:
Eliza Doolittle Day
Everybody Draw Mohammed Day
National Rescue Dog Day
Neighbor Day
Ride A Unicycle Day
Soil Stewardship Day
Take Your Parents To The Playground Day
Weights & Measures Day
WhitSunday
World Autoimmune Arthritis Day

MONDAY, MAY 21

American Red Cross Founder’s Day
End of the World or Rapture Party Day
I Need A Patch For That Day
National Wait Staff Day
Sister Maria Hummel Day
World Day for Cultural Diversity for Dialogue & Development

ON THIS DAY

1961: Ricky Nelson recorded “Travelin’ Man.” It became his second #1 song. “Poor Little Fool” reached #1 in 1958.

1964: 28-year-old Kitty Genovese was stabbed to death in Queens, New York. The murder occurred over several hours during which the killer left and returned, yet not one of 37 witnesses called police.

1975: Singers George Jones and Tammy Wynette were divorced after a stormy 6-year marriage.

1982: John Jaszowski of Milwaukee hit 12 consecutive strikes to become the youngest bowler ever to roll a perfect game. John was 11 years old.

1983: The Larry King Live show premiered on CNN.

1987: Bryan Adams’ “Heat of the Night” became the first commercially released cassette single in the U.S.

1988: Gallaudet University, a liberal arts college for the hearing-impaired since 1864 in Washington, D.C., chose I. King Jordan to become the school’s first deaf president.

1990: A blind man robbed a bank in Vallejo, California, then asked the teller to guide him out of the building. She refused, and he was still trying to find his way out when police arrived.

1991: Romanian peasant Calin Florea dug up his prize German-made Lanz tractor, which he had buried in his garden 35 years earlier to prevent a communist co-op from confiscating it. He cleaned the engine and it cranked right up.

1991: A study released by the University of Utah indicated that cigarette smoking may be hazardous to your face. Smoking, they said, triples your chances of premature facial wrinkling. ***Hey, does your face hurt? Well it’s KILLING ME! (Yeah, I know… it wasn’t funny in elementary school either.)

1996: The Nigerian news agency reported that a woman waiting in line three hours for gasoline gave birth to a baby girl. Others in line at the service station nicknamed the baby “Fuel Crisis.”

1997: A lock of British naval hero Lord Nelson’s hair sold at auction for $8,096.

2002: President Bush declared Iraqi President Saddam Hussein was a menace and had to be dealt with, and Osama bin Laden had been reduced to a marginal figure in the war on terrorism.

2002: On Fox’s “Celebrity Boxing.” Tonya Harding beat Paula Jones, Danny Banaduce whipped Barry Williams and Todd Bridges defeated Vanilla Ice.

2006: U.S. Customs agents in California found 250 bogus billion dollar bills while investigating a man charged with currency smuggling. The investigation led agents to a West Hollywood apartment where they found the stash of yellowing and wrinkled one billion dollar bills with an issue date of 1934 and bearing a picture of President Grover Cleveland.

TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY

1917: Three shepherd children report that the Virgin Mary appeared to them in Fatima, Portugal.

1925: Florida’s House of Representatives passes a bill requiring schools to conduct daily Bible readings.

1963: Death of A. W. Tozer. Affiliated with the Christian and Missionary Alliance, he was known for his short devotional essays.

1981: Ali Agca, a Turkish gunman, seriously wounds Pope John Paul II in an assassination attempt. Agca later converts to Christ when John Paul visits him in prison.

1982: Pope John Paul II is approached at Fatima by a bayonet wielding priest.

HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS

  • actress (Fletch Lives, “Sisters”) Julienne Phillips 56 (audio clip)

  • Actor (The Piano, Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs) Harvey Keitel, 79

BEE-BOP BIRTHDAYS

(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)

1911 : Maxine Sullivan

1912 : Nervous Norvus

1912 : Gil Evans

1914 : Johnnie Wright (Johnnie and Jack)

1933 : Mike Stoller

1941 : Ritchie Valens

1941 : Joe Brown

1943 : Mary Wells

1945 : Magic Dick (The J. Geils Band)

1947 : Pete “Overend” Watts (Mott The Hoople)

1950 : Stevie Wonder, born Stevland Morris

1950 : Danny Kirwan (Fleetwood Mac)

1951 : Paul Thompson (Roxy Music)

1966 : Darius Rucker (Hootie & the Blowfish)

1967 : Melanie Thornton (La Bouche)

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE (Answering questions that have plagued mankind for minutes!)

Why do we say that something open to discussion is a “moot” point?

This is the kind of thing they deal with often in law school where, being apprentice lawyers, they discuss and argue about everything, preparatory to billing clients $500 an hour. In law school they even use moot as a verb, as in “to moot.” You know, I moot, you moot, she moots. Whole lotta’ mootin’ goin’ on. So why do they meet to moot? Because in the Middle Ages, when points were often made with battle axes rather than briefs, the word “mod,” pronounced like moot, meant a meeting. It came from a still older word, “metan,” meaning the same thing. Moot is really just a modernizing of “mod.” At a meeting, of course, one discusses things, so points raised there are moot. And you probably thought that someone using this word was just being a snoot.

NEWS KICKERS

(None on weekends. Want a customizable version with your specific station tag, FREE? Email me for more information! )

NEW NEWS KICKERS…

(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…

(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS

(Not updated on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MONDAY’S EPISODE

OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! When last we left the jungle, Sully the Aardvark was extremely angry at Gruffy Bear for continually breaking promises to play checkers with him. And the bowling team in the tournament, which started this whole mess, doesn’t need Gruffy anymore now either…

CLOSE: It’s good that Sully isn’t holding a grudge in all of this – and finding Nozzles to play checkers with is a great idea. But now Gruffy is really depressed about how he acted. Will he be able to make everything right again? Find out next time, As the Jungle Turns!

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of “As the Jungle Turns” in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us and ask about “Jungle Jam & Friends the Radio Show” usage.

MOMENT OF DUH

Do video games really influence those who play them?  Apparently a bit TOO much!

A suspect who led police on a high-speed chase through several towns told investigators he was afraid to go back to jail and he had become convinced by his skill at video games that he could outrun the law. Two girls who were in his car said they were terrified and yelled at him to stop before he finally slowed and ordered them to jump out, then sped off. Tyrone D. McMillian told police, “I was crazy. I’ve been playing a lot of Grand Theft Auto and NASCAR (video games). I thought I could get away.” (audio clip)

TOP TEN

TOP TEN STRANGE NEWSPAPER HEADLINES

10. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
9. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
8. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
7. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
6. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
5. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
4. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
3. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
2. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
1. War Dims Hope for Peace

THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER

A criminal is caught red-handed… well, red-legged…

FILE #1: In Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Dennis O’Leary held up a bank and made a clean getaway, stuffing the cash in his front pocket and fleeing on foot. He hadn’t gotten very far though when he started to attract quite a bit of attention, or at least his pants did. They were smoking… with red smoke. You guessed it, the dye packs in the money had exploded and there was enough red smoke billowing from his trousers that a couple of maintenance guys became suspicious and grabbed and detained him until the cops arrived.

FILE #2: A Mount Kisco, New York, parking meter attendant is accused of stealing more than $30,000 from the meters, one quarter at a time.  He could be sentenced to spend up to seven years in prison.  ***MARLAR: And if the judge is creative he’ll make him serve the sentence five minutes at a time.

FILE #3: How’s this for showing love and compassion – An English law firm had an employee of the firm commit suicide and instead of sending his wife flowers and a sympathy card, they sent her a bill for $10,000. The charges stem from “settling his affairs at the office, the cost of visiting his home in order to determine why he hadn’t shown up for work, and the cost of telling his mother that her son had died”. The English press “pressed” the law firm and they have since dropped the charges.

STRANGE LAW: Frightening a baby is in violation of Mole, MO, law.

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

This Is Your Brain On Drugs” is about people doing dumb things under the influence, but addiction is no laughing matter. If you or someone you know needs help, there’s a toll free number you can call 1-800-438-0380. That’s the Addiction Hope and Help Line at 1-800-438-0380.

We used to ask “Where’s the Beef” – now we might have to ask, “Where’s the marijuana?”! 

The food at the Los Lunas, New Mexico, Burger King has gone to pot. Two police officers were eating their burgers until realizing that something was wrong. When one officer noted his burger tasted like it had marijuana in it, they opened the burgers and discovered the green, leafy substance on top of the meat was not lettuce. Officials say that the officers began acting odd after eating the marijuana. Three Burger King employees were arrested and charged with possession of marijuana and aggravated battery on an officer, which is a felony.

PHONER PHUN

The only thing harder than sticking with a diet is keeping quiet about it. The instant I let it slip that I was trying to lose weight, I was inundated with ideas from friends and family. Pills, patches, starvation diets. One person even suggested this weird diet where a doctor puts little pads on your ears. You rub these, “pads”, and supposedly that curbs your hunger. How dumb is that? Anyone try a diet in their past that sounded too good to be true and now just seems silly?

BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!

QUESTION: Upon what smoke-covered mountain did the Lord descend to speak to Moses and give the Ten Commandments?
ANSWER: Mt. Sinai

QUESTION IMPOSSIBLE

QUESTION: How many combinations are there to make change for a dollar?

ANSWER: Depending on the combination of coins you have, there are 293 different ways to make change for a dollar.

TRUE OR FALSE

Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

1. The largest gland in the human body is the tongue. (False, the liver, which is also the largest organ)

2. The shortest overtime in National Football League history was 14 seconds. (True, in a September 8, 2002, a game between the New York Jets and the Buffalo Bills. It was accomplished with a kickoff return by Chad Morton, giving the Jets a win)

3. In the 1984 film Conan the Destroyer, Wilt Chamberlain portrayed the warrior Bombaata. (True)

4. About 47% of humans are left-handed. (False, about 17%)

5. The same is true of chimpanzees and gorillas. (True)

6. The average person checks the time 90 times a day. (True)

7. The signature “Xavier Roberts” is stamped on the bottom of every Bratz doll. (False, Cabbage Patch Kids)

8. The American youths succeeding Generation X are collectively referred to as “Generation Next.” (False, “Generation Y”)

9. In the early 1990s, a series of fitness videos promoted “Buns of Steel.” (True)

10. Between 1931 and 1969, Walt Disney only received 1 oscar. (False, 35)

TABLOID MATCH GAME

You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!

ALIEN CHIP FOUND IN _________ SKULL (NAPOLEON’S)

Scientists examining the remains of  Napoleon Bonaparte are “deeply puzzled” by the discovery of a half-inch long microchip embedded in his skull.

They say the mysterious object could be an alien implant – suggesting that the French emperor was once abducted by a UFO!

“The possible ramifications of this discovery are almost too enormous to comprehend,” declared Dr. Andre Dubois, who made the astonishing revelation in a French medical journal.

“Until now, every indication has been that victims of alien abduction are ordinary people who play no role in world events.

“Now we have compelling evidence that extraterrestrials acted in the past to influence human history – and may continue to do so!”

THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY 

JOKE #1

A lady lost her handbag at the mall. An honest young lad found it and returned it to her. Looking in her purse, she said, “Hmm, that’s funny. When I lost my bag, there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills.” The boy replied, “That IS funny. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward.”

JOKE #2

A man is at Grand Central Station waiting for his train that leaves at 6 p.m., but he has forgotten his watch. So he looks for someone to ask the time. He spots a guy carrying two suitcases and sporting this fabulous hi-tech watch, so he asks him for the time. The guy replies “Sure, which country?”

The fella asks, “How many countries have you got?”

To which the man replies, “All the countries in the world!”

“Wow! That’s a pretty cool watch you’ve got there.”

“That’s nothing,” the man says. “This watch also has a GPS, fax, e-mail and can even receive NTSC television channels and display them on its miniature active color pixel LCD screen!”

“Boy, that’s incredible. I wish I had a watch like that one. You wouldn’t consider selling it by any chance?”

“Well, actually the novelty has worn off for me, so for $900, if you want it, it’s yours.”

The watchless traveler can hardly whip out his checkbook fast enough to hand over a check for $900. The seller takes off the watch and gives it to him. “Congratulations, here is you new hi-tech watch.” Then, handing the two suitcases over as well, he says, “And here are the batteries.”

JOKE #3

There were these two guys, walking their dogs; one guy had a Doberman, the other a Chihuahua. As they were walking, they passed a diner and wanted to get in for lunch. But there was a sign in the window that said: NO PETS ALLOWED! So the guy with the Doberman said, “Let’s go in as blind men with seeing-eye dogs!” They agreed that the guy with the Doberman would go in first. The first guy told the guy behind the counter that the Doberman was his seeing-eye dog, so he got in. When the second guy tried to get in, the diner’s owner said, “Excuse me sir but, Chihuahuas are not seeing-eye dogs!” And the second guy said,” WHAT? THEY GAVE ME A CHIHUAHUA?!!”

USELESS FACTS

Make your boss a cup of coffee. A study showed that just by holding the hot liquid, she’ll see you as a warm person. ***Which also explains why my last boss fired me when I bought him a frozen Coke.

STRANGE LAW: Mardi Gras float riders are required by law to wear masks.

FEATURED FUNNIES

LUMBERJACK (audio clip)

A man comes up to the owner of a lumberjack business and says, “I need a job and I think I’m pretty good.”

The owner replied, “Okay, show me what you can do, chop down that redwood over there.” The man said okay and left. Five minutes later he came back and was done.
The owner was shocked and asked, “How did you chop that tree down so fast?”
The man said, “I got a lot of practice in the Sahara Forest.”
The owner replied, “You mean the Sahara Desert?”
“Yes” he said, “or at least that’s what they call it now.”

IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!

A man with the last name “He” and his girlfriend had planned to wed in a lovely ceremony in China.

Things didn’t end up going as planned when He got into a spat with the bride’s family the night before the big wedding. Apparently, the argument was enough to scare He away and He was a no show at He’s own wedding. The bride’s family decided to get even with He and went to court. The runaway groom was ordered to pay ‘spiritual compensation’ to the family of his would-be bride and the court ordered He to pay $7,500 for damaging the bride’s reputation.  ***MARLAR: Whatever happened to jilted brides just grabbing a pint of Haagen Das and settling down for six months of depression and self-loathing?

INSPIRATIONAL INSPIRATION

SMILES
A smile costs nothing, but gives much. It enriches those who receive, without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it, and none is so poor but he can be made rich by it.
A smile creates happiness in the home, fosters goodwill in business, and is the countersign of friendship. It brings rest to the weary, cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and it is natures’ best antidote for trouble. Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen, for it is something that it is of no value to anyone until it is given away.

DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL

BEING A VESSEL TO BLESS OTHERS
One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed. – (Proverbs 11:24-25)
One of the reasons God entrusts money to us is to bless other Christians by meeting their needs. God uses the transfer of money within the Body of Christ to build unity among Christians. Sometimes we withhold money that God has designated for someone else. He wants to bless through us, but His will cannot be accomplished through us if we are disobedient.
This was the case for a business owner who tells of the time when God told him to forego a company bonus one year. God directed him to share his year-end bonus with an employee to show his appreciation for him. He wrestled with God for three full days before obeying the Lord on the matter. When he finally met with the employee to give him his check, the man said he had been praying about a financial need he had three days earlier. He had decided to borrow the money to meet his need. The amount of money he borrowed was the exact amount the business owner gave him.
God had already planned to provide for the employee through the business owner, but because he was hesitant, he almost missed the opportunity to be an instrument of God in this man’s life. Even so, he could have prevented the man from having to borrow money. It was an important lesson for the business owner. How many people do we let down because we feel the “harvest” God provides is all ours? In America the pressure is always on to move up the ladder of material accumulation. Jesus warned us about this. If our focus is on accumulation, we will not look for opportunities to be God’s vessels of financial blessing to others. Ask the Lord if you have an open hand when it comes to finances.

LEFTOVERS

ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS MAY NOT BE DOING YOU ANY FAVORS

If you’re trying to lose a few pounds, trading your regular soda for the diet version could be doing more harm than good.

…true, swapping a can of Coke for Coke Zero slices 139 calories from your daily intake, but research from the University of Liverpool in England suggests that your body processes artificial, calorie-free sweeteners the same way it does regular sugar. So the jury is still out on artificial sweeteners, as a recent study found they may help prevent weight gain. So while science continues to debate, cut back on sugar and sweeteners all together — everything in moderation is the real key to weight loss.

LIFE… LIVE IT

Not getting the rest you need?  Maybe you have sleep apnea.

…People with breathing problems that disrupt their sleep were less tired after three weeks of treatment with a breathing device compared to those treated with a placebo, U.S. researchers said. The findings show that regular use of treatment with continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) masks reduces fatigue caused by obstructive sleep apnea, a chronic disorder that affects 12 million Americans.  Sleep apnea raises the risk of high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke, irregular heartbeat and diabetes.  It occurs when soft tissue in the back of the throat collapses during sleep, blocking the airway and causing the brain to rouse the sleeper, who gasps for air — a cycle that can occur as many as 30 times in an hour.

JUST FOR FUN

TO BE OR NOT TO BE

If it’s not time for you to be taken to heaven, you ain’t going!

If you’re looking for proof that God has an ultimate plan for your life, give a listen to this story. A Miami woman tried to commit suicide, her second attempt inside three days… this time plunging fourteen stories from a high-rise. She landed on her rear, got back on her feet, and walked away… a Honda CRV cushioned her fall. The impact shattered the car’s windows and crushed its roof, but the woman sustained only a broken arm. ***MARLAR: You know God is keeping her around for a reason. Maybe she’ll get a job working in auto crash test safety.

FUN LIST

BE AFRAID… BE VERY AFRAID

You already know that people who fear closed-in places suffer from “claustrophobia,” but do you know what to call a fear of bald people? It’s “peladophobia.” Here’s a list of phobias, because the next time someone tells you their darkest fear, you may not be able to help him conquer it, but at least you’ll be able to tell them what it’s called.

  • Arachibutyrophobia – Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth and soaking up saliva.

  • Helminthophobia – Fear of getting worms.

  • Logophobia – Fear of words. Victims quake at the sight of books or even at listening to another person talk.

  • Eisoptrophobia – Fear of mirrors.

  • Erythrophobia – Fear of blushing. Some people live in terror of others seeing them with a red face. It starts a vicious cycle because the more self-conscious they become about it, the more they blush.

  • Pogonophobia – Fear of facial hair. Sufferers cringe at the sight of face stubble, and absolutely panic at seeing a full beard.

  • Lachanophobia – Fear of vegetables. Don’t talk to sufferers about eating spinach, green beans or broccoli, these people are terrified by the mere sight of the stuff.

  • Levophobia – Fear of objects to the left side of the body.

  • Dextrophobia – Fear of objects to the right side of the body.

  • Alektorophobia – Fear of fowl – in other words, being chicken of chickens.

  • Caligynephobia – Fear of beautiful women. It affects both men and women!

  • Clinophobia – Fear of going to bed. Sadly, folks with this fear often suffer from insomnia, which in turn promotes stress, making the condition worse.

MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…

MAKE YOURSELF HEART ATTACK PROOF – BUT EAT TO YOUR HEART’S CONTENT!

  • Oranges: Reduce blood pressure, cholesterol and heart failure

  • Kale: Prevents atherosclerosis

  • Garlic: Reduces blood pressure and plaque

  • Red wine: Boosts HDL, reduces unwanted clotting

  • Dark chocolate: Reduces blood pressure

  • Sardines: Lower triglycerides, raise HDL

  • Lentils: Reduce blood pressure

  • Almonds: Reduce LDL and fatal arrhythmias

  • Pomegranates: Reduce atherosclerosis

OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP

(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

SOUL-GLO

(Feel-good stories! Only posted as new stories come available. Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS!

(Stories to get your dander up! Only posted as stories come available. Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT

You think the show was great today, just wait until tomorrow when I’m here in person!

THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER

Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 35 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).


MAY 11, 2018…

Life Of The Party—Melissa McCarthy is the star of this film which is about a woman who doesn’t know what to do when her husband leaves her. Her daughter is in college, so why not join her and earn a degree, too? Though it seems like a good plan, it doesn’t always work out with class schedules, daughter’s friends and just becoming adjusted to something new.  Also, in the cast are Maya Rudolph, Molly Gordon and Gillian Jacobs. “Life Of The Party” is rated PG 13. Rating of 2 for fans.

Breaking In—This is a thriller that involves trying to break into a top-secure building to rescue hostages, especially if they are family.  Gabrielle Union stars as the women determined to do the impossible. Also, in the cast are Billy Burke and Richard Cabral. “Breaking In” is rated R. No rating.

Terminal-–A story that weaves around several characters including a crook planning a robbery, a woman with various personas and revenge. The cast includes Max Irons, Margot Robbie (“I, Tonya,”) Dexter Fletcher, and Simon Pegg. Directed by Vaughn Stein.  “Terminal” is rated R. No rating.

Assassins Code—Another crime film and this one is about a detective who is trying to solve a murder, and suddenly there is someone to help him—a ghost. Stars Justin Chatwin and Peter Stormare. “Assassins Code” is rated R. No rating.

Tully (opening in select cities) —This film concerns a middle-age woman (Charlize Theron) who has just too many things to do in a day.  Sound familiar? Enter a young woman (Mackenzie Davis) who works nights and then the two women talk and begin to understand each other. “Tully” is rated PG 13. No rating.

The Seagull (opening in select cities) —Annette Bening again takes on an historical role, this time it is Irina Arkadina from Anton Chekhov’s play, “The Seagull.” The story centers on a mature actress (Bening) who is vacationing by a lake with her young boyfriend (Corey Stoll.) Here comes a younger actress (Saoirse Ronan) who is the girlfriend of Bening’s son (Billy Howle.) The son has written a play. Things start getting interesting and involve jealousy. Brian Dennehy is also in the cast. “The Seagull” is rated PG-13. Rating of 3 for fans. 

MAY 18, 2018…

Untitled Deadpool Sequel has no title, as such, and again stars Ryan Reynolds. Need I say more?

Show Dogs is a film about a police dog going undercover. You read that right. Stars Will Arnett.

Pope Francis–A Man Of His Word is a documentary on the Pope.

Book Club is about women who find interesting books and friends with similar interests. Stars Diane Keaton and Jane Fonda.

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