May 17, 2018: Thursday ONAIRprep

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PRINT VERSIONS OF TODAY’S PREP:
ODT: 20180517
PDF: 20180517

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WELCOME TO THE SHOW!

The time is 6:05. And incredible as it may seem, this makes several days in a row at this exact same time that’s it’s been 6:05!

The following program is guaranteed to offend almost everybody in the audience at some point of the show. If, after the show is over, you feel offended because we did not offend you, please accept our apologies for that offense.

PRESIDENTIAL WIT & WISDOM (click here to buy the book)

(None on the weekends or holidays.)

“Honest conviction is my courage; the Constitution is my guide.” – Andrew Johnson

BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY

It is written, “As surely as I live,” says the Lord, “every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.” — Romans 14:11

The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing. — Zephaniah 3:17

A wicked man puts up a bold front, but an upright man gives thought to his ways. — Proverbs 21:29

HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT

(From VerseOfTheDay.com)

But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul. — Deuteronomy 4:29

Thought: When was the last time you truly searched after God? I’m not talking about an obscure theological insight about God or another best selling book about God. When was the last time you sought after the Father so that you could know him better and appreciate him more? Let’s open our hearts and go on the Great Quest to find God. Like the prodigal son in Luke 15, we will find he’s waiting and watching for us to come home!

Prayer: Precious Heavenly Father, majestic in glory, awesome in might, and ever near with your loving presence, please bless me with a deeper and more personal knowledge and experience of you in my life. Until the day I can see you face to face in heaven, please draw me closer and closer to you. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@heartlight.org.

BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY (The chapter and verse correspond to the month and day!)

2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV = Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

TODAY IS THURSDAY – MAY 17, 2018

(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY
221 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL NEXT CHRISTMAS.

Today is WATCH A BABY FALL ASLEEP DAY. ***If you can’t find a baby, your boss will do.

Today is TELL AN UMPIRE, “I LOVE YOUR OUTFIT” DAY. ***Black and white stripes are definitely you! Did you learn to dress like that in prison?

This is INTERNATIONAL PICKLE WEEK. ***We know that if life gives you a lemon you’re supposed to make lemonade. But if life gives you a pickle you might as well give up, because really, who wants pickle-ade?

This is NATIONAL EGG WEEK.  According to Dr. Beryl West, how you like your eggs reveals a lot about your personality:

  • Sunny-side up: You are an optimist and easy going.

  • Hard-boiled: You’re a no-nonsense type. You’re quick to form opinions.

  • Soft-boiled: You’re gentle, sensitive, neat – but you’re not always easy to please.

  • Scrambled: You’re agreeable and very steady. You go with the flow.

  • Over easy: You are very precise. You know exactly what you want out of life.

  • Poached: You are very orderly – you don’t like to see anything out of its place.

  • Omelets: You enjoy taking risks.

TODAY IS ALSO…

Syttende Mai
World Hypertension Day
World Telecommunications and Information Society Day
World Neurofibromatosis Day (NF Day)

COMING UP NEXT (Just a list, we are not endorsing the holidays posted below. Find more holidays and link to their websites at BrownieLocks.com)

FRIDAY, MAY 18

Buy A Musical Instrument Day
Endangered Species Day
HIV Vaccine Awareness Day
I Love Reeses Day
International Virtual Assistants Day
Mother Whistler Day
NASCAR Day
National Bike to Work Day
National Defense Transportation Day
National Museum Day
National Pizza Party Day
O. Henry Pun-off Day
Visit Your Relatives Day

SATURDAY, MAY 19

Armed Forces Day
Boys Club Day
Do Dah Day
May Ray Day: 19
Morel Mushroom Day
National Asian & Pacific Islander HIV/AIDS Awareness Day
National Learn To Swim Day
National Scooter Day
National Hepatitus Testing Day
Preakness

SUNDAY, MAY 20

World Autoimmune Arthritis Day
Bay to Breakers Race:
Eliza Doolittle Day
Everybody Draw Mohammed Day
National Rescue Dog Day
Neighbor Day
Ride A Unicycle Day
Soil Stewardship Day
Take Your Parents To The Playground Day
Weights & Measures Day
WhitSunday
World Autoimmune Arthritis Day

MONDAY, MAY 21

American Red Cross Founder’s Day
End of the World or Rapture Party Day
I Need A Patch For That Day
National Wait Staff Day
Sister Maria Hummel Day
World Day for Cultural Diversity for Dialogue & Development

TUESDAY, MAY 22
Canadian Immigrants Day
Harvey Milk Day
International Day for Biological Diversity
National Maritime Day
Sherlock Holmes Day
US Colored Troops Day
Victoria Day
World Goth Day

WEDNESDAY, MAY 23

Declaration of the Bab Day
Emergency Medical Services for Children Day
International Day to End Obstetric Fistula
National Taffy Day
World Crohn’s and Colitis Day
World Orienteering Day
World Turtle Day

THURSDAY, MAY 24

Aviation Maintenance Technician Day
Brother’s Day
Declaration of The Bab
Eat More Fruits & Vegetables Day
EMSC (Emergency Medical Services) Day
International Tiara Day
Morse Code Day

ON THIS DAY

1620: The first merry-go-round on record was set up at a fair in Philippolis, Turkey.

1836: Sir Norman Lockyer was born. Sir Norman discovered helium. ***Useful for balloons and creating munchkin voices.

1875: Aristides won the first Kentucky Derby.

1876: Gen. George Custer and the 7th Cavalry left Fort Abraham Lincoln in the Dakota Territory for the Little Big Horn. As they departed, the band played “The Girl I Left Behind Me.”

1939: There were only 400 television sets in America at the time, but with a single camera near the third-base line, WXBS-TV in New York became the first station to televise a sporting event, a baseball game between Columbia and Princeton. ***Proving that there wasn’t anything good on TV back then either.

1954: In “Brown vs. Board of Education of Topeka,” the U.S. Supreme Court ruled racially segregated public schools were inherently unequal.

1975: Elton John’s “Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy” became the first record album to sell a million copies the day it was released.

1978: U.S. President Jimmy Carter welcomed President Kenneth Kaunda of Zambia. It was the first time women appeared in the White House Honor Guard.

1985: Bobby Ewing died on the season finale of “Dallas” on CBS-TV. He returned the following season. It was all a dream. (audio clip)

1991: A woman evicted from a hotel room in Berkeley, California, set a record by leaving behind in the room 85 cats. ***How do you gracefully get out of this one? “Oh, I must’ve missed that when I was packing my suitcase!”

1992: Bandleader Lawrence Welk died of pneumonia at age 89. His syndicated TV show continues in reruns. (audio clip)

1993: The first computers using Intel’s new Pentium processor were introduced.

1999: Makah Indians in Washington state harpooned a gray whale for the first time in 70 years.

1999: A Toronto judge dismissed a claim that Canadian Defense Minister Art Eggleton, Citibank, and several drug store chains were conspiring to kill a complainant because he was a Martian. The judge ruled that since the petitioner claimed not to be human, he had no status before the court. ***I may have to keep that in mind when I get my next jury duty notice. (audio clip)

2001: The U.S. Postal Service issued a stamp featuring the Charles M. Schulz “Peanuts” comic strip.

2003: A 77-year-old German driver on his way to collect an award for 25 years of accident free motoring was pulled up by police for driving without a license. The man told police his license had been taken away 25 years earlier, and he had continued driving safely without it.

TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY

352: Liberius was elected 36th pope of the Early Church. During this time the dispute between Arius and Athanasius was at its height, and after vacillating earlier, Liberius vindicated himself as a champion of Nicene orthodoxy.

1291: Scottish medieval Franciscan philosopher John Duns Scotus, 25, was ordained. He believed in “divine will” rather than “divine intellect,” and founded a scholastic system called Scotism. In the Catholic Church he is known as “the Subtle Doctor.”

1559: John Knox reaches Edinburgh after imprisonment and a stint in the French galleys. He will lead Reformation in his native Scotland.

1844: Birth of Julius Wellhausen, the German biblical scholar who, in his 1878 History of Israel, first advanced the JEDP Hypothesis, claiming that the Pentateuch (i.e., the first five O.T. books) was a compilation of four earlier, literary sources.

1881: The Revised Version (EV or ERV) of the New Testament was first published in England. The Old Testament was completed in 1885. In 1905 the American Standard Version (ASV) À__À based on the textual foundation of the ERV À__À was published in the U.S.

1928: First flight of the Australian Aerial Medical service, with K. St. Vincent Welch as the flying doctor. This ministry was conceived and promoted by John Flynn, a Presbyterian minister.

1942: Conservative Baptist Association was formed due to doctrinal differences with American Baptists

1947: The Conservative Baptist Association of America (CBAA) was formally established at Atlantic City, NJ, as a breakaway movement from within the American Baptist Convention.

1972: A Hutu bishop, Father Michael Kayoya of Berundi, a small nation in eastern Africa, is executed. He was one of thousands executed in the genoicidal murder. About one half of all Catholic catechists in Berundi were killed by rival Tutsi tribesmen.

1982: The ailing pastor Lin Xiangao is arrested in Guangzhou, China, for holding house church services despite a government ban.

HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS

  • actress (Twilight) Nikki Reed 29
  • actress (“Damages”, “Big Shots”, “The Agency”, “Person of Interest”, “The 100”) Paige Turco 52 (audio clip)
  • actor/comedian (“The Late Late Show”, “Hot In Cleveland”, “The Drew Carey Show”) Craig Ferguson 55
  • Former boxer Sugar Ray Leonard 61
  • actor/comedian (“Full House,” “America’s Funniest Home Videos,” “One Versus One Hundred”) Bob Saget, 61 (audio clip)
  • Actor (Aliens, Twister, True Lies) Bill Paxton, 62 (audio clip)

BEE-BOP BIRTHDAYS

(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)

1866 : Erik Satie

1921 : Bob Merrill

1925 : Red Smiley (Reno and Smiley)

1941 : Malcolm Hale (Spanky and Our Gang)

1942 : Taj Mahal

1944 : Jesse Winchester

1949 : Bill Bruford (Yes, King Crimson)

1952 : Roy Adams (The Climax Blues Band)

1953 : George Johnson (The Brothers Johnson)

1955 : Steve Earle

1959 : Paul Di’Anno (Iron Maiden)

1961 : Enya

1964 : Dave Abbruzzese (Pearl Jam)

1965 : O’Dell (Mint Condition)

1965 : Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails)

1970 : Darnell Van Rensalier (Shai)

1970 : Jordan Knight (New Kids on the Block)

1973 : Joshua Homme (Kyuss, Queens Of The Stone Age)

1976 : Kandi Burruss (Xscape)

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE (Answering questions that have plagued mankind for minutes!)

We’re used to seeing animals with one or two horns… but what about more than that?

How about an animal with FOUR horns?!? I didn’t think this was a reality until just now. There is an antelope in India that has four horns. It’s called… are you ready for this? It’s called the “Four Horned Antelope.” It’s name may not be very inventive, but God was sure inventive when putting it together. The antelope has two horns where you’d expect them to be, on top of his head – between his ears. And then the other two horns – a smaller pair – are just over his eyes. It’s only the males that have the four horns though… the females have no horns at all. As for using the horns… they have nothing on that trucker that followed me to the radio station today – he was leaning on his.

NEWS KICKERS

(None on weekends. Want a customizable version with your specific station tag, FREE? Email me for more information! )

NEW NEWS KICKERS…

(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

A study shows that people who retire at age 55 and live to be at least 65 die sooner than people who retire at 65.  ***But then, you run out of money ten years sooner when you retire at 55, so it all works out pretty well.

In Loerrach, Germany a man reported he could hear loud shouting from a next-door apartment that had been going on for some time. When police arrived at the apartment they found a 22-year-old man arguing with his girlfriend’s parrot, who could only respond by barking like a dog. The man told officers he had become annoyed with the bird. Police decided not to take the matter any further.  ***Although they did suggest the matter could be solved by taking the parrot to KFC to show what happens to misbehaving birds.

It was supposed to be a simple going away party for an employee of MMI Engineered Solutions in Michigan, but a co-worker ended up losing her job at the celebration. The fired and unnamed 47-year-old’s employer got a tip that the woman intended to bring laxative-laced brownies to her departing colleague’s send-off. The company seized the brownies before any were eaten and phoned police. Officers showed up and spoke to the woman who denied everything at first, then confessed after being told the brownies would be subject to forensic testing. The woman won’t be charged, in part because the brownies weren’t eaten, but she has been fired by the Saline-based company. The woman allegedly told police it was a bad joke, not an intentional targeting. While she denied having an issue with the departing employee, other employees disputed that account.  ***How petty are you that you’re willing to give everybody in your office diarrhea in order to make sure one particular person got it?  I say give the woman a choice… lose her job, OR eat all of the brownies herself.  Her choice.

A couple of nights ago, a naked man was running up and down the aisles of an Alaska Airlines flight from Seattle to Anchorage. The flight crew had to tackle him and lock him in the bathroom until they landed. ***Even crazier – this guy flew naked… to ALASKA, where it’s only like 40-degrees right now. His lawyer had better darned well have him plead “not guilty by reason of insanity”.

Amazon will be opening cashier-less stores in Chicago and San Francisco in the near future.  ***Isn’t that going to make it that much longer for that lady in front of you in line to pay for her stuff by writing a check?

The Gap has apologized for selling t-shirts with what it says is an incorrect map of China that didn’t include self-ruled Taiwan.  ***Seeing as most clothes we buy nowadays are MADE in China, isn’t it their fault they screwed up their own map?

Ramadan began last night when Muslims fast and pray to grow closer to Allah. It can last between 29 and 30 days and is the ninth month of the Islamic calendar when Muslims are asked to abstain from smoking, swearing, arguments or gossip.  ***If you can abstain for a full month from swearing, arguing, and gossiping – shouldn’t that be something you should just stick with the rest of the year?

Kristen Stewart protested the flat-shoe ban at the Cannes film festival by kicking off her heels and walking barefoot on the red carpet.  ***Seriously – why on earth would there be a ban on flat shoes?  What possible reason would there be for that?  And where do men go to buy high heels in their size?

NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…

(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

A British labor union is demanding new workplace health rules to prevent telemarketers from losing their voices. ***Wait a second, since when do we want telemarketers to not lose their voices?

Maintaining close ties with your good friends on Facebook increases your self esteem — but also your waistline. According to a study, keeping watch of your good friends’ activities on social media correlates to a higher body-mass index and higher levels of credit card debt. These close connections increase your self-esteem, thereby allowing you to let your guard down and temporarily lose self control. ***The solution? Only “friend” people who make you want to puke.

Feeling obese? You’re not alone. Researchers say in two decades half of Americans will be obese. ***Good to know I’m finally ahead of the curve in something.

Looks like calling in sick when you’re not is NOT just an American thing. A recent survey finds that 71% of Chinese workers admit to calling in sick when they weren’t. The survey found that about half of all Americans have taken a fake sick day — on par with countries like Canada and Australia. On the other hand, only 16% of French workers say they have taken a fake sick day. *** Which only proves that the French are dirty rotten liars who won’t admit to being dirty rotten liars.

The British accent is the most attractive in the world, according to an international survey. Britain came out ahead of American, Irish and Australian accents by a generous margin. The French accent came in fifth. ***But they came in last in the category of “courteous waiters”.

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS

(Not updated on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THURSDAY’S EPISODE

OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns!

When last we left the jungle, Racquet the Skunk was making his own badminton racquets… and when Gruffy Bear saw them, and tried one out, he insisted that Racquet make a special badminton racquet just for him… and has agreed to give Racquet one of his new blue handled hammers for it.

CLOSE: I have a sneaking suspicion Racquet is about to get two new orders for badminton racquets… you think? Boy, these jungle animals sure take the game of badminton seriously. Tune in next time for more of our story… As the Jungle Turns!

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of “As the Jungle Turns” in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us and ask about “Jungle Jam & Friends the Radio Show” usage.

MOMENT OF DUH

An expedition to the North Pole turns into a Moment of Duh!

Today’s Moment of Duh follows the story of two Australian explorers who decided to conquer the challenge of hiking to the North Pole. They’d conquer it, and then place their country’s flag there to commemorate and prove their accomplishment! They made off to the North Pole, unaided, for 58 days. During the expedition one of them almost lost his life when he fell through thin ice. They faced blizzards, developed frostbite, and they even had to ward off a polar bear. All of this to finally reach the North Pole and discover that they had forgotten to bring the flag.

TOP TEN

TOP TEN THINGS YOU’LL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY

10. I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

9. Duct tape won’t fix that.

8. We don’t keep firearms in this house.

7. You can’t feed that to the dog.

6. No kids in the back of the pickup, it’s just not safe.

5. Wrestling is fake.

4. I’ll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

3. Honey, we don’t need another dog.

2. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

1. I just couldn’t find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER

When you have car trouble, it’s always a good idea to ask for help from a police officer right? Wrong… it’s only a good idea if you’re not wanted by the police, as one man found out in today’s files of Law & Disorder!

FILE #1: When driving a stolen car, it’s not usually a good idea to ask police for help if it breaks down. That’s what happened to Renee Hughes of Billings, Montana who was cruising around in a stolen car when she had a flat. A police officer stopped to offer help and before changing the tire did a routine check of the license plate. When he discovered the car was stolen, he did the gentlemanly thing, he changed the tire while waiting for backup to arrive and then arrested Renee.

FILE #2: An Indian court has issued three summonses for a dead man. Virender Pant is wanted in Delhi for a 1992 murder. He was issued with summonses in March, April and May. However, the suspect was killed in a shoot-out with police in March… but police have failed to tell the courts. The latest summons issued orders Pant to appear on May 29.

FILE #3: Two Austrian policemen had their car stolen during a meeting that they were attending with other police officers. Fellow police officers ended up giving them a ride home once they got out of the meeting. If it wasn’t bad enough that two police officers had their car stolen, ironically the meeting they were attending was on cutting down on car theft!

STRANGE LAW: Oklahoma law declares that dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

This Is Your Brain On Drugs” is about people doing dumb things under the influence, but addiction is no laughing matter. If you or someone you know needs help, there’s a toll free number you can call 1-800-438-0380. That’s the Addiction Hope and Help Line at 1-800-438-0380.

Here kitty, kitty… nice tiger…

Florida’s Jason Wayne Hardin was putting up fencing at a carnival when he happened upon a tiger’s cage and decided to attempt to “communicate” with the animal.  Hardin decided to communicate by putting his arm into the tiger’s cage.  The tiger decided to communicate with Hardin by biting him and severing a tendon in his arm.  In what will likely be no surprise, police say blood alcohol tests at the hospital confirmed that Hardin was drunk when he was bitten by the tiger.

PHONER PHUN

What was the first album you bought – and do you still have it? That’d be Ernie from Sesame Street with Rubber Ducky for me. Sad, I know… (audio clip)

BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!

QUESTION: Who made the Ark of the Covenant?
ANSWER: Bezaleel (Exodus 37:1)

QUESTION IMPOSSIBLE

QUESTION: Name one of the two U.S. entertainers who have had their legs insured for at least $1 million on each leg.

ANSWER: Mary Hart and Tina Turner

TRUE OR FALSE

Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

1. The Egyptian pyramids were originally covered with beautiful paintings and drawings which have weathered away over the years. (False, but they were originally covered in marble which has weathered away)

2. In India, McDonald’s restaurants don’t serve hamburger meat. Instead the Big Mac comes with 2 all lamb patties. (True)

3. During the early days of the Gold Rush in California, a glass of whiskey cost $7! (True)

4. The largest cattle farm in America is in Hawaii. (True)

5. In Puerto Rico, wiggling one’s nose means roughly the same thing as giving someone a nasty gesture. (False, it basically means about the same thing as saying, “What’s going on?”)

6. When the comic strip Peanuts first debuted in 1958, Snoopy stood on two legs. (True)

7. Back in the 1920s, the word “flipper” was slang for pocket watch. (False, but the word “turnip” was!)

8. Texas produces more wool than any other state in the country. (True, west central Texas is the top sheep growing area in the country.)

9. Exposure to sunlight helps our bodies generate the essential Vitamin M. (False, Vitamin D)

10. South Carolina was the first state to secede from the United States in the months leading up to the Civil War. (True)

TABLOID MATCH GAME

You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!

JUNIOR FUN _______ (TAN)

Beach Front Inc., a tanning bed company, has launched a line of child-friendly tanning beds called Junior Fun Tan.

The smaller-scale, slightly lower wattage beds will feature “dancing, fun-colored light bulbs synced up to popular children’s music,” according to the press release.

Shirley McInnis, public relations manager at Beach Front, believes the tanning bed market has been calling for kid-sized beds for some time. “You’d be surprised how many requests we’ve had for kids’ beds. They see mommy and daddy tan, and little Bobby and Susie want to be tan too. It’s their right as citizens to look nice and golden through the winter without having to go to Florida. Not everyone has a condo in Naples. This is an affordable option for families.”

THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY 

JOKE #1

“I have good news and bad news,” the defense attorney told his client. “First the bad news. The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with that found at the crime scene.”

“Oh, no!” cried the client. “What’s the good news?”

“Your cholesterol is only 180.”

JOKE #2

The new father was left with the baby all day while mom went shopping for some unmaternity clothes. When she returned she went to check on the baby. The smell was overpowering. She found the disposable diaper full and leaking. She was furious!

She confronted her husband, “Didn’t you bother to check the baby’s diaper all day?”

The new dad responded, “Well, the box says it’s good for up to eight pounds!”

JOKE #3

A college professor had the mysterious habit of walking into the lecture hall each morning, removing a tennis ball from his jacket pocket. He would set it on the corner of the podium. After giving the lecture for the day, he would once again pick up the tennis ball, place it into his jacket pocket, and leave the room. No one ever understood why he did this, until one day. . . .

A student fell asleep during the lecture. The professor never missed a word of his lecture while he walked over to the podium, picked up the tennis ball and threw it, hitting the sleeping student squarely on the top of the head.
The next day, the professor walked into the room, reached into his jacket, removed a baseball. . .

No one ever fell asleep in his class the rest of the semester!

USELESS FACTS

A Duke University study found that some people subconsciously avoid doing things that they are nagged to do as a form of passive rebellion. ***Scientists call it “husbandry.”

Matt Halfhill of Austin, Texas loves sneakers – so much so that he has about 500 pair. He says his sneaker obsession started when he was a teenager, working in a shoe store.  ***Where his boss kept yelling at him to JUST DO IT!

FEATURED FUNNIES

BABY NAMES

When Diane found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen. Her 4-year-old son overheard some of her parents’ private conversations. One day, when Diane and her 4-year-old were shopping, a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. “Yes!” the 4-year-old said, “and I know what we are going to name it, too. If it’s a girl we’re going to call her Christina, and if it’s another boy we’re going to call it quits!!”

IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!

IT’S THE BEST POLICY

An apology is given… 51 years after the incident!

A Californian man has finally come clean by handing in a wallet he found 51 years ago with an apology note for taking so long about it. 79 year old Robert Kupbens found ex-policeman John Payne’s wallet in 1951. Luckily Payne’s grandson who shares his name still works at the same San Francisco police station where his grandfather used to work. Mr. Kupbens, wanting to put right his wrong, enclosed a $100 check and a note to say sorry it had taken him so long.

INSPIRATIONAL INSPIRATION

REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE

Jim Ginn, an assistant pastor of a church in Phoenix, was my confidant and guide, who made sure that my walk with Christ was closer everyday.

He always said these words to me before I stepped out of the house, he said: ‘Girl, Remember Who You are – You are

God’s child, You are very precious in His sight and His precious blood was shed for you, never let HIM down’.

He even bought me a cap with these words stitched on it: “Remember Who You are.”

These words got embedded in my heart so strongly that it always pulls me out of temptations that come by my way all the time. There were times when I had almost given in, but I could hear Jim’s rusty voice saying “Remember Who You Are”. At that moment the love of Christ flashes in my mind and makes me remember who I am, I just run back to Christ, who is my fort and shelter.

Jim Ginn is no more – but his profound words will always be with me. Jim’s love and dedication for Christ drew me even closer to Christ. I want to do the same, I want to make difference in everyone’s life who come in touch with me, by passing on the light that Christ has given me. I want to always remember who I am in Christ and make sure others do so too.

So, when Satan looks you in the face and woos you – don’t give in… Just “Remember Who You are” – You are God’s child, You are very precious in His sight and His precious blood was shed for you, never let HIM down’.

DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL

Read: Nehemiah 6

Now therefore, O God, strengthen my hands. –Nehemiah 6:9

The newspaper has long been a trusted friend. It arrives with regularity and tells me about the people and events of the day. A few days without it and I feel out of touch. Without its up-to-date summary of government, business, sports, and international affairs, I feel handicapped in conversation.

In the past year, I’ve been consulting this “friend” more often than usual. The stunning events of 9-11-01, when four planes were hijacked and three were crashed into national landmarks, took me to the paper for news, photos, and information. The coverage of the “War on Terrorism” kept me posted on these significant events and their aftermath.

But one day this “trusted friend” brought news of an event I already knew about. But only the core facts of the account were correct. The report also included an analysis by an authority who said more than he knew. As a result, he misled his readers. It was a good reminder that we need to live by something more reliable than the daily newspaper.

Nehemiah also read information that he knew was wrong (Nehemiah 6:6-8). He knew that the letter from an enemy leader contained lies designed to scare him and his countrymen off the job of rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem. But Nehemiah was wise. He responded by continuing to do what he knew was right. He was sure his motives were correct. So he asked the Lord to strengthen his hands for the work that remained (v.9).

When falsely accused or disturbed by the powerful forces of evil, let’s not live on the basis of the ever-changing news. Instead, let’s listen to God and keep doing what He has called us to do.

–Mart DeHaan

LEFTOVERS

THE ONE DOLLAR BILL

There’s an email floating around now about the United States’ one-dollar bill. It talks about all the symbols on the bill and supposedly explains what they mean. I say “supposedly” because that email isn’t totally accurate. I have a copy of the email right here in front of me… let’s see what accurate about those symbols and what’s not.

  • The dollar bill you’re looking at first came off the presses in 1957. ***Okay, that’s true. And that “In God We Trust” motto started being used on paper money at that same time.
  • If you look on the front of the bill, you will see the United States Treasury Seal. On the top you will see the scales for the balance-a balanced budget. ***Well, that may be somebody’s interpretation of the scales, but the Treasury Department has little to do with whether the budget is balanced. That’s handled by congress. According to the U.S. Treasury Department, the balancing scales represent justice.
  • In the center of the bill you have a carpenter’s T-square, a tool used for an even cut. ***Actually, that’s not really a carpenter’s T-square. It is a chevron with 13 stars representing the 13 original colonies.
  • Underneath is the Key to the United States Treasury. ***Again, no. It is not the key to the United States Treasury. It is using the key as a symbol of authority.
  • Now we go to the back of the dollar bill. On the back you will see two circles. Both circles, together, comprise the Great Seal of the United States. ***This is true. The back of the dollar bill has become so familiar to Americans, that many may not have realized two things. One is that the symbols are from the official Great Seal of the United States. The other is that the Great Seal actually has two sides to it.
  • The First Continental Congress requested that Benjamin Franklin and a group of men come up with a Seal. ***Well, that’s sort of true. The committee was Benjamin Franklin, John Adams, and Thomas Jefferson, three of the five men who had drafted the Declaration of Independence. But they were merely the first committee, however. It took six years, the work of two additional committees and a total of 14 men before a final version of the Great Seal was approved.
  • If you look at the left hand circle, you will see a Pyramid. Notice the face is lit and the western side is dark. This country was just beginning. We had not begun to explore the West or decided what we could do for Western Civilization. ***First, the pyramid was not a part of the proposals for the Great Seal until the third committee. It was not suggested by Jefferson, Franklin, and Adams. As to the lighting on the East or West of the pyramid, there’s no real explanation that can be found.
  • The Pyramid is UN-capped, again signifying that we were not even close to being finished. ***This explanation appears to be accurate. The unfinished state of the pyramid was intentional. Also, Charles Thompson, in his remarks to congress about the symbolism on the Great Seal, said the pyramid represented “Strength and Duration.”
  • Inside the capstone you have the all-seeing eye, and ancient symbol for divinity. It was Franklin’s belief that one man couldn’t do it alone, but a group of men, with the help of God, could do anything. ***A lot of people have a huge problem with that eye on the dollar bill, thinking it’s some anti-Christian type of thing. The truth is that Ben Franklin’s committee did not suggest a pyramid, but it did originate the suggestion of the eye. The term “the all-seeing eye” is never used in describing it though. The Franklin committee wanted the seal to include a reflection of divine providence and discussed a variety of themes including the Children of Israel in the Wilderness. Some have suggested that the pyramid and the eye are the result of Masonic influence, but the only member of the original committee who was a Mason was Franklin and this committee’s design was rejected by congress. None of the final designers of the seal was a Mason. The eye as representing “the eye of providence” has a long history. It’s more likely that both the designers of the Great Seal and the Masons both drew from that history. The use of “the all seeing eye” as uniquely Masonic first appeared in 1797, nearly 15 years after the adoption of the symbolism by Congress.
  • The Latin above the pyramid, ANNUIT COEPTIS, means “God has favored our undertaking.” ***This is true.
  • The Latin below the pyramid, NOVUS ORDO SECLORUM, means “a new order has begun.” ***The government’s translation of this phrase is, “A new order for the ages.” No, it does not say “A new WORLD order.”
  • At the base of the pyramid is the Roman Numeral for 1776. ***This is true.
  • If you look at the right-hand circle, and check it carefully, you will learn that it is on every National Cemetery in the United States. Slightly modified, it is the seal of the President of the United States and it is always visible whenever he speaks. ***The Presidential Seal has the eagle facing to the eagle’s left toward the olive branch instead of toward the eagle’s right as on the Great Seal. This was a change ordered by President Harry Truman in 1945.
  • The Bald Eagle was selected as a symbol for victory for two reasons: first, he is not afraid of a storm; he is strong and he is smart enough to soar above it. Secondly, he wears no material crown. We had just broken from the King of England. ***Most references to the eagle indicate that it represents something of uniquely American origin. One of the original design proposals for the Great Seal featured a small crested white eagle, which is not uniquely American.
  • Also, notice the shield is unsupported. This country can now stand on its own. ***This is accurate. Charles Thompson said it denoted that the United State of America ought to rely on their own virtue.
  • At the top of that shield you have a white bar signifying congress, a unifying factor. We were coming together as one nation. In the Eagle’s beak you will read, “E PLURIBUS UNUM”, meaning “one nation from many people.” ***Actually, the shield consists of red and white stripes with a blue bar above and which does represent Congress. The colors are taken from the American flag and officially, the red represents hardiness and valor, the white represents purity and innocence, and the blue, vigilance, perseverance, and justice.
  • Above the Eagle you have thirteen stars representing the thirteen original colonies, and any clouds of misunderstanding rolling away. ***The thirteen stars do represent the Colonies. That whole “clouds of misunderstanding” thing can’t be substantiated though.
  • Notice what the Eagle holds in his talons. He holds an olive branch and arrows. This country wants peace, but we will never be afraid to fight to preserve peace. The Eagle always wants to face the olive branch, but in time of war, his gaze turns toward the arrows. ***The official meaning is that the olive branch and the arrows “denote the power of peace & war.” As noted above, the design has been with the eagle facing the arrows except for when President Harry Truman turned the face toward the olive branch on the Presidential Seal.
  • They say that the number 13 is an unlucky number. This is almost a worldwide belief. You will usually never see a room numbered 13, or any hotels or motels with a 13th floor But, think about this: 13 original colonies, 13 signers of the Declaration of Independence, 13 stripes on our flag, 13 steps on the Pyramid, 13 letters in the Latin above, 13 letters in “E Pluribus Unum”, 13 stars above the Eagle, 13 plumes of feathers on each span of the Eagle’s wing, 13 bars on that shield, 13 leaves on the olive branch, 13 fruits, and if you look closely, 13 arrows. And for minorities: the 13th Amendment. ***The significance of the number 13 in all the symbolism represents the beginning of the country, the 13 colonies.

THE ACTUAL EMAIL AS IT IS BEING CIRCULATED:

Take out a dollar bill and look at it. The one dollar bill you’re looking at first came off the presses in 1957 in its present design. This so-called paper money is in fact a cotton and linen blend, with red and blue minute silk fibers running through it. It is actually material. We’ve all washed it without it falling apart. A special blend of ink is used, the contents we will never know. It is overprinted with symbols and then it is starched to make it water resistant and pressed to give it that nice crisp look. If you look on the front of the bill, you will see the United States Treasury Seal. On the top you will see the scales for the balance-a balanced budget. In the center you have a carpenter’s T-square, a tool used for an even cut. Underneath is the Key to the United States Treasury. That’s all pretty easy to figure out, but what is on the back of that dollar bill is something we should all know. If you turn the bill over, you will see two circles. Both circles, together, comprise the Great Seal of the United States. The First Continental Congress requested that Benjamin Franklin and a group of men come up with a Seal. It took them four years to accomplish this task and another two years to get it approved. If you look at the left hand circle, you will see a Pyramid. Notice the face is lighted and the western side is dark. This country was just beginning. We had not begun to explore the West or decided what we could do for Western Civilization. The Pyramid is UN-capped, again signifying that we were not even close to being finished. Inside the capstone you have the all-seeing eye, and ancient symbol for divinity. It was Franklin’s belief that one man couldn’t do it alone, but a group of men, with the help of God, could do anything. “IN GOD WE TRUST” is on this currency. The Latin above the pyramid, ANNUIT COEPTIS, means “God has favored our undertaking.” The Latin below the pyramid, NOVUS ORDO SECLORUM, means “a new order has begun.” At the base of the pyramid is the Roman Numeral for 1776. If you look at the right-hand circle, and check it carefully, you will learn that it is on every National Cemetery in the United States. It is also on the Parade of Flags Walkway at the Bushnell, Florida National Cemetery and is the centerpiece of most hero’s monuments. Slightly modified, it is the seal of the President of the United States and it is always visible whenever he speaks, yet no one knows what the symbols mean. The Bald Eagle was selected as a symbol for victory for two reasons: first, he is not afraid of a storm; he is strong and he is smart enough to soar above it. Secondly, he wears no material crown. We had just broken from the King of England. Also, notice the shield is unsupported. This country can now stand on its own. At the top of that shield you have a white bar signifying congress, a unifying factor. We were coming together as one nation. In the Eagle’s beak you will read, “E PLURIBUS UNUM”, meaning “one nation from many people.” Above the Eagle you have thirteen stars representing the thirteen original colonies, and any clouds of misunderstanding rolling away. Again, we were coming together as one. Notice what the Eagle holds in his talons. He holds an olive branch and arrows. This country wants peace, but we will never be afraid to fight to preserve peace. The Eagle always wants to face the olive branch, but in time of war, his gaze turns toward the arrows. They say that the number 13 is an unlucky number. This is almost a worldwide belief. You will usually never see a room numbered 13, or any hotels or motels with a 13th floor But, think about this: 13 original colonies, 13 signers of the Declaration of Independence, 13 stripes on our flag, 13 steps on the Pyramid, 13 letters in the Latin above, 13 letters in “E Pluribus Unum”, 13 stars above the Eagle, 13 plumes of feathers on each span of the Eagle’s wing, 13 bars on that shield, 13 leaves on the olive branch, 13 fruits, and if you look closely, 13 arrows. And for minorities: the 13th Amendment. I always ask people, “Why don’t you know this?” Your children don’t know this and their history teachers don’t know this. Too may veterans have given up too much to ever let the meaning fade. Many veterans remember coming home to an America that didn’t care. Too many veterans never came home at all. Tell everyone what is on the back of the one dollar bill and what it stands for, because nobody else will.

LIFE… LIVE IT

JOB HUNTING AFTER GRADUATION

For your listeners who are graduating from high school or college soon and are entering the workforce for the first time, learn from the experiences of your elders!  When you answer those “Job Openings” ads, you’ll have to do a little translating:

  • Entry-level position: You’ll be making minimum wage.

  • Entry-level position in an up-and-coming company: You’re paid minimum wage: we’ll be bankrupt in a year.

  • An up-and-coming software company: There’s no chance we’ll be the next Microsoft.

  • Competitive salary: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

  • Join our fast-paced company: We have no time to train you. Please introduce yourself to your co-workers.

  • Immediate opening: The person who had this job gave notice a month ago. We’re just now running the ad.

  • Sales position requiring motivated self-starter: We can’t supply you with leads, there’s no base salary to speak of, and you’ll wait 30 days for your first commission check.

  • Casual work atmosphere: We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up.

  • Competitive environment: Lots of intra-office back stabbing.

  • Must be deadline oriented: You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

JUST FOR FUN

DEAD MAN’S T-SHIRTS

Next time you’re at the coroner’s office in California, be sure to stop by the gift shop on the way out! That’s what one coroner wants you to do!

A California coroner’s office has opened its own gift shop selling T-shirts and baseball caps. Coroner Paul Smith says his Sacramento office is trying to generate publicity and funding for anti-drinking programs for teenagers. Mr Smith said the shop was not trying to gain publicity and the gifts would be ‘tasteful.’

FUN LIST

YOU KNOW YOU’RE NOT IN COLLEGE ANYMORE

  • You’re waking up at 6 am instead of going to bed. (oh those days cramming for an exam)
  • College sweatshirts are considered ‘casual’ instead of dress up.
  • Your parents begin to charge you rent.
  • The four food groups are no longer soda, pizza, chips, and cereal.
  • It’s ‘getting late’ when it’s 9:30 p.m.
  • Three words: Student Loan Payments.
  • Naps are no longer available between noon and 6 p.m.
  • Sneakers are now ‘weekend shoes’.
  • You find yourself reminiscing fondly of 2-hour Calculus exams.
  • Metabolism slowdown (if you don’t know what I mean by this, you soon will)
  • You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
  • Grocery lists actually contain relatively healthy food.
  • Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work, not video games.
  • Golf is beginning to seem a lot less silly.

MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…

25 THINGS EVERY DAD SHOULD DO WITH HIS DAUGHTER

1. Go fishing or crabbing early in the morning. Wake up and leave before everyone else is awake. Return just in time for Saturday morning cartoons.

2. Take her to a father-daughter dance. Buy her a corsage and make her feel like the most beautiful, special girl in the world.

3. Bring her to work with you.

4. Take a “sick day” together. Eat ice cream on the couch in your pajamas while you watch television shows and favorite movies.

5. Let her paint your fingernails or toenails.

6. Brush her hair. Learn to put it in a ponytail or even braid it.

7. Attend at least one Girl Scout meeting with her.

8. Chaperon a field trip.

9. Take her to a birthday party.

10. Coach a sports team that she’s on. Bonus: Learn infinite patience in the process.

11. Take her shopping for a Homecoming or Prom dress.

12. Meet her boyfriend. Be polite, but a little bit scary. Expect respect from him.

13. Give her a hug and a kiss her when you get home from work every day.

14. Walk her to school on her first day.

15. Take her to a professional sports event. Cheer (loudly) for her favorite team.

16. Tell her knock-knock jokes. Teach her a few, too.

17. Help her with her homework-the English, as well as the math and science.

18. Ask her about her day. Don’t cringe at the answers (even if they include boys).

19. Go on a trip together, just the two of you. Head to the beach, the mountains, or anywhere you guys can spend time alone together.

20. Read to her. Let her see you read, too. Go to the library or book store together.

21. Try something new together. Don’t get too upset if you both fail at it.

22. Go for a walk, hike, or run.

23. Push the stroller.

24. Don’t leave all the discipline to mom, even if (especially if) she’s the one who’s with the girls most of the time. Be firm but fair and consistent.

25. Be there for her.

OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP

(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

How many times do you toss out your credit card receipts without even thinking about it? After all, only the last four digits of your credit card number appear on them. What can anyone do with just that information? Apparently, a lot. CreditCards.com warns consumers to treat their credit card receipts as though they carry sensitive information. Scam artists who get hold of your receipts can use those last four digits of your credit card number to try to get the other numbers. They do this by tracking down your phone number, calling you and phishing for the rest of it — perhaps posing as your credit card issuer or utility company and asking for the full credit card number to verify an account. Just remember this important fact: Your credit card company will never call you on the phone and ask you to provide the entire card number. If anyone else does this, it’s a scam. Hang up. And shred your credit card receipts when you no longer need them.

Guys wanna get on the good side of your lady? Then clean up the house and do the laundry. A survey found that women felt they did most of the work at home compared to men. And they said guys will score more point with their mates by doing household chores rather than taking them for romantic, wine dinner or weekend trips. “Modern men are clearly missing the trick,” explains psychologist Cary Cooper. “If they take a little more time to help out their partners with the ironing, they will reap the rewards in the long run and earn a lot of brownie points. “Many women are still working the double shift, doing the household chores and having a career whereas men still have a working role primarily. “What women obviously want to see is somebody who will do chores but also have an active domestic role in the family.”

It’s a stupid thing to do anyway, in my opinion.  Wearing to tongue stud can gradually produce a large gap between the upper front teeth and that can require expensive braces to fix, warn University at Buffalo School of Dental Medicine experts. Dr. Sawsan Tabbaa treated a 26 year old woman who developed a gap after wearing a barbell shaped stud for seven years. The woman had developed the habit of pushing the stud against her teeth. “The barbell is never removed because the tongue is a so vascular that leaving to stud out can result in healing of the opening in the tongue, so it makes perfect sense that constant pushing of the stud against the teeth will drive them apart,” says Dr. Tabbaa. “The best way to protect your health, your teeth and your money is to avoid tongue piercing.”

That series you’re watching is just so good, you don’t want to turn it off. But it’s a wise idea to power down. A new study published in the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine found that binge-watching led to poor sleep and fatigue. Why? Viewing back-to-back episodes keeps your brain “cognitively aroused” rather than in a ready-for-sleep state, making it harder to nod off in bed. To get some shut-eye, disable autoplay if you’re using a streaming service so you, not your device, stay in control, according to Jan Van den Buick, Ph.D., professor of media psychology, at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor. (Woman’s Day)

Look into a puppy’s sweet and beguiling eyes, and what happens? You melt all over, right? There is a reason for this: When you gaze into a puppy’s eyes, your body releases a surge of oxytocin, a hormone that leads to bonding, trust and altruism, according to research.  Oxytocin is the hormone that promotes maternal bonding, and the “oxytocin loop” between dogs and their owners was found to be comparable to that of a mother and her baby. When a mother stares into her newborn baby’s eyes, both of them experience an increase in oxytocin and that leads to feelings of bonding and love. The same thing appears to happen to humans and their dogs. The study found that among the dogs and owners who spent a lot of time gazing at each other, the dogs experienced a 130 percent rise in oxytocin levels during interaction with their owners, with oxytocin rising a huge 300 percent among owners during this time. There was no oxytocin increase in the dogs or owners who did not make a lot of eye contact. ***And if my cat is any indication, this doesn’t work with felines either.

SOUL-GLO

(Feel-good stories! Only posted as new stories come available. Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

Any individual who’s been a sitter or filled in as a babysitter knows the colossal duty that lays on your shoulders.  Most sitters accept the position truly, yet some go well beyond what any parent could request.  Twenty-two-year-old Kiersten Miles had just taken care of George and Farra Rosko’s three youngsters for fourteen days — however when one of the child’s lives was one the line, Kiersten settled on an extraordinary choice.  Furthermore, it was a choice that will leave the Roskos forever thankful.  Kiersten Miles is a 22-year-old student from New Jersey and was searching for a job to support her college fees.  She got in contact with the Rosko family and began working for them right away.  In no time, Kiersten formed a strong bond with the couple’s three kids, and especially their youngest daughter, Talia.  She then found out that the nine month old had liver disease.  When doctors said that Talia would need a new liver, Kiersten stepped up and said she wanted to give it to her.  George and Farra and Rosko were not so keen on the idea at the start and warned her of the dangers and complications behind it.  Donating a liver is not that simple. It’s not like you are just donating blood. They have to operate on your body and there is a risk of death involved.  Kiersten still wanted to do it and ended up getting tested. It turned out she was a match.  George and Farra Rosko were obviously extremely grateful to Kiersten for her selfless decision. But they made sure they didn’t push Kiersten to make a decision she might regret later.  Kiersten had no regets, and on January 11, 2017, she and Talia went to the hospital for the 14-hour surgery.  The doctors gave Kiersten an anesthetic and began to operate and remove part of her liver. They then transferred it directly into Talia.  The transplant turned out to be a total success.  Kiersten stayed at the hospital for five days and Talia stayed for nine.  Today, both Kiersten and Talia quickly recovered. Talia is now a happy healthy toddler.  You would not even think she had anything wrong with her before as she runs and plays around the garden.  Kiersten of course deserves a hug “thank you” for her amazing gesture. Talk about a heart of gold!  Sometimes we think the world is only full of bad things. But its people like Kiersten who remind us that people can still be extremely kind.  Instead of focusing on her own life and studies she decided that she would help someone else in the process and do something kind for another human being.  This girl is a superhero and she deserves all the recognition she can get.  (From Rasplove.com – photos at http://ow.ly/mqqS30k0oXg)

TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS!

(Stories to get your dander up! Only posted as stories come available. Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

As federal crimes go, this one seems to have been ridiculously easy to pull off. Usually the headquarters of UPS is in Atlanta, but for a few months, it found a new home in a Chicago apartment – at least on paper, anyway. According to court documents, a fraudulent change-of-address form for UPS was submitted to the US Postal Service on Oct. 26, allegedly by Dushaun Henderson-Spruce. Soon thousands of pieces of First Class US mail and registered mail started coming Henderson-Spruce’s home including letters to the UPS CEO and other execs, mail that held personal info about UPS employees, five American Express corporate credit cards, and business checks. And Henderson-Spruce-who only briefly collected a real paycheck for UPS in 2012 as a package handler – is accused of depositing nearly $60,000 of those checks into his own bank account. Strangely, it took UPS security four months to catch on to the alleged scam. A subsequent search of Henderson-Spruce’s apartment found 3,000 or so pieces of mail meant for UPS, and the mail carrier who delivered to Henderson-Spruce’s apartment told investigators “voluminous” amounts of mail went there. He’s facing federal mail theft and mail fraud charges, the latter of which could send him to prison for 20 years if convicted! (Chicago Tribune)

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT

Accomplishing the impossible only means that the boss will add it to your regular duties.

THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER

Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 35 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).


MAY 11, 2018…

Life Of The Party—Melissa McCarthy is the star of this film which is about a woman who doesn’t know what to do when her husband leaves her. Her daughter is in college, so why not join her and earn a degree, too? Though it seems like a good plan, it doesn’t always work out with class schedules, daughter’s friends and just becoming adjusted to something new.  Also, in the cast are Maya Rudolph, Molly Gordon and Gillian Jacobs. “Life Of The Party” is rated PG 13. Rating of 2 for fans.

Breaking In—This is a thriller that involves trying to break into a top-secure building to rescue hostages, especially if they are family.  Gabrielle Union stars as the women determined to do the impossible. Also, in the cast are Billy Burke and Richard Cabral. “Breaking In” is rated R. No rating.

Terminal-–A story that weaves around several characters including a crook planning a robbery, a woman with various personas and revenge. The cast includes Max Irons, Margot Robbie (“I, Tonya,”) Dexter Fletcher, and Simon Pegg. Directed by Vaughn Stein.  “Terminal” is rated R. No rating.

Assassins Code—Another crime film and this one is about a detective who is trying to solve a murder, and suddenly there is someone to help him—a ghost. Stars Justin Chatwin and Peter Stormare. “Assassins Code” is rated R. No rating.

Tully (opening in select cities) —This film concerns a middle-age woman (Charlize Theron) who has just too many things to do in a day.  Sound familiar? Enter a young woman (Mackenzie Davis) who works nights and then the two women talk and begin to understand each other. “Tully” is rated PG 13. No rating.

The Seagull (opening in select cities) —Annette Bening again takes on an historical role, this time it is Irina Arkadina from Anton Chekhov’s play, “The Seagull.” The story centers on a mature actress (Bening) who is vacationing by a lake with her young boyfriend (Corey Stoll.) Here comes a younger actress (Saoirse Ronan) who is the girlfriend of Bening’s son (Billy Howle.) The son has written a play. Things start getting interesting and involve jealousy. Brian Dennehy is also in the cast. “The Seagull” is rated PG-13. Rating of 3 for fans. 

MAY 18, 2018…

Untitled Deadpool Sequel has no title, as such, and again stars Ryan Reynolds. Need I say more?

Show Dogs is a film about a police dog going undercover. You read that right. Stars Will Arnett.

Pope Francis–A Man Of His Word is a documentary on the Pope.

Book Club is about women who find interesting books and friends with similar interests. Stars Diane Keaton and Jane Fonda.

# # # # #

WARNING: Don’t believe anything you read on the Internet or email (including stuff you read here) unless you can confirm it with another source, and/or it is consistent with what you already know to be true. The opinions in this publication are not necessarily those of Darren Marlar, Marlar House Productions, or any company or organization affiliated with aforementioned. (Regardless of how stupid you may think those opinions are. So there – nyah!)

Darren Marlar credits all non-original material to the author whenever possible. All other material is original, used with permission, or author unknown. We welcome all comments, questions, and suggestions. Darren can be reached via his website at www.DarrenMarlar.com.