November 09, 2017: Thursday ONAIRprep

ODT: 20171109
PDF: 20171109

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Studies show that 65% of Americans are confused, and the rest aren’t sure.


(None on the weekends.)

“I leave it to you. If I had another face, do you think I would wear this one?” – Abraham Lincoln, turning to the audience when Stephen A. Douglas called him “two-faced” in a debate.


“Death is swallowed up in victory. O Death, where is your sting?” –1 Corinthians 15:54-55

Proverbs 15:1: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. — Ephesians 5:19-20



Woe to those who go to great depths to hide their plans from the LORD, who do their work in darkness and think, “Who sees us? Who will know?” — Isaiah 29:15

Thought: Aren’t we so very silly sometimes! We try to hide what we’ve done and what we’re planning from the Lord. Of course we’re only fooling ourselves. At first glance, God’s knowing our plans and seeing our actions is threatening. But after a little time to think it through, isn’t it nice that God does see everything, including our motives and thoughts? This insures justice will be done and our mess-ups will be evaluated in terms of our intentions, not just our failures! On top of that, it also means that those who plot to do us harm will have to answer to God, and we don’t have to worry about “settling the score” or “getting even.”

Prayer: Forgive me, Father, when I’ve tried to hide my plans and thoughts from you. Create in me a new and clean heart so that I am unafraid of your knowing anything going on in my heart. By the power of your Spirit, stir my spirit to desire your character and long for your presence in my life. I want to live dedicated to your glory and serving your Kingdom. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to

BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY (The chapter and verse correspond to the month and day!)

Luke 11:9 NIV = “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.


(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)

Today is CHAOS NEVER DIES DAY.  ***Of course, listeners to this show already know that.

Today is WIZARD OF ID DAY. The comic strip debuted on November 9, 1964.

Today is FLUFFY TOWEL APPRECIATION DAY. ***And really, who doesn’t?

Today is NATIONAL GO TO AN ART MUSEUM DAY. ***Imagine that – an entire museum dedicated to guys named Art!


International Tempranillo Day
Microcia Awareness Day
World Freedom Day

COMING UP NEXT (Just a list, we are not endorsing the holidays posted below. Find more holidays and link to their websites at


Area Code Day
NET Cancer Awareness Day
Marine Corps Birthday
Sesame Street Day
Veteran’s Day
Windows Day (Microsoft)
World Science Day for Peace and Development


Death/Duty Day
Domino Day
National Homunculus Awareness Day
Origami Day
Red Lipstick Day
Veterans Day


Chicken Soup For The Soul Day
Fancy Rat & Mouse Day
World Pneumonia Day
International Day of Prayer for The Persecuted Church


World Kindness Day
World Orphans Day


International Girls Day
International Selfie Day (Diabetes Foundation)
Loosen Up, Lighten Up Day
National American Teddy Bear Day
National Spicy Guacamole Day
National Pickle Day
National Young Reader’s Day
Operating Room Nurse Day
Spirit of NSA (National Speakers Association) Day
World Diabetes Day


America Recycles Day
George Spelvin Day or More Than One Role Day
GIS Day (Geographic Information Systems)
I Love to Write Day
National Bundt (Pan) Day
National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day
National Educational Support Professionals Day
National Philanthropy Day
Rock Your Mocs Day


International Day for Tolerance
National Button Day
Beaujolais Nouveau Day
Great American Smokeout
Teddy Bear Day (Historic)
Use Less Stuff Day
World Pancreatic Cancer Day
World Philosophy Day


1963: The Kingsmen entered the Billboard “Hot 100” with “Louie Louie,” the dirtiest song never written. The song, about a bartender named Louie, actually was squeaky clean, but the lyrics were hard to understand and rumors spread that they were dirty. No one bought Chuck Berry’s recording of the same song in 1956.

1974: To release his song “Goodnight Vienna,” Ringo Starr arrived at Captitol Records in Los Angeles in a flying saucer. ***Verifying he was out of this world to begin with.

1989: Germans danced atop the Berlin Wall as communist East Germany threw open its borders, allowing citizens to travel freely to the West for the first time in 28 years.

1993: Actress Angie Dickinson became the first person in 500 shows to walk off the TV set of This Is Your Life. Angie said, “Not on your life!” ***I feel the same way when restaurant staffers want to sing “Happy Birthday” to me.

2002: Thieves in the Lithuanian capital of Vilnius made off with 120 metal parking garages and the cars parked inside them. Apparently, it was a world record car theft.


1538: German reformer Martin Luther declared: ‘It would be a good thing if young people were wise and old people were strong, but God has arranged things better.’

1800: Birth of Asa Mahan, American educator and Congregational clergyman. President of Oberlin College in Ohio from 1835_1850, Mahan was instrumental in establishing interracial college enrollment and in the granting of college degrees to women.

1836: Birth of Christian business traveler Samuel Hill. In 1899 Hill, John Nicholson and W.J. Knights co_founded the Gideons, a Christian organization that ministers through distribution of the Scriptures. To date, the Gideons have placed over 12 million Bibles and 100 million New Testaments.

1837: British philanthropist Moses Montefiore, 52, became the first Jew to be knighted in England. Montefiore was a banking executive who devoted his life to the political and civil emancipation of English Jews.

1938: The worst Jewish pogrom in peacetime Germany took place as Nazi thugs led a “spontaneous” campaign of terror. During the night 267 synagogues were plundered, 7,500 shops were wrecked, 91 Jews were killed and 20,000 others were arrested and sent to concentration camps. It was afterward known as “Kristallnacht” because of the thousands of windows broken.


  • actor (played “The Hulk” – the monster David Bruce Banner would turn into when he got mad in the old 70’s TV series “The Incredible Hulk”) Lou Ferrigno 64 (audio clip)

  • Actor (“Night Court” clerk Mac Robinson) Charles Robinson, 71 (audio clip)


(Music Artist Birthdays From

1905 : Tommy Dorsey

1937 : Roger McGough (The Scaffold)

1941 : Tom Fogerty (Creedence Clearwater Revival)

1943 : Lee Graziano (American Breed)

1944 : Phil May (Pretty Things)

1948 : Joe Bauchard (Blue Oyster Cult)

1948 : Alan Gratzer (REO Speedwagon)

1948 : Benny Mardones

1954 : Dennis Stratton (Iron Maiden)

1969 : Pepa aka Sandra Denton (Salt-N-Pepa)

1969 : Scarface

1973 : Nick Lachey (98 Degrees)

1977 : Sisqo

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE (Answering questions that have plagued mankind for minutes!)

Watch out for the “big cheese!”
“Big cheese” and “big wheel” are Medieval terms of envious respect for those who could afford to buy whole wheels of cheese at a time, an expense few could enjoy. Both these terms are often used sarcastically today.


(None on weekends. Want a customizable version with your specific station tag, FREE? Email me for more information! )


(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

Florida State University has banned all fraternities and sororities following the death of a student after a house party last Friday.  ***Well then, that should completely stop college students from partying and drinking.  After all, you can’t do that unless you’re in a fraternity.

Chicago is quickly approaching its 600th homicide for the year. That would be the first time since 2003.  ***Ummm… congratulations?

Being an adult in the real world is hard. Maybe that is what a young hippopotamus discovered in her two minutes outside Ramat Gan Safari in central Israel. According to UPI, the female hippo escaped the zoo on Wednesday evening, casually strolling out of an open gate, only to return of her own accord through the same gate two minutes later.  ***It’s the exact same thing that happens when college snowflakes graduate, step out into the world, and realize nothing has prepared them for reality.

Le Parisien is now open in Paris. The city’s first all nude restaurant.  ***Ouch!  You gotta feel sorry for the guy working the deep frier!

A 24-year-old Kansas City man is facing federal gun and drug charges. While being questioned, Sean Sykes Jr. denied knowing anything about the guns and drugs. In his report about the interview, the detective wrote that when asked about his address, “Mr. Sykes leaned to one side of his chair and released a loud fart.” ***So now he’s being charged with biological warfare.

Kevin Spacey has checked into the same rehab center where Harvey Weinstein is currently receiving treatment.  ***And afterwards they plan to bunk in separate rooms over at Roman Polanski’s place.

Michael Arega, of Dallas, Texas, decided to visit the White House in Washington, D.C. Well actually, he said he went to the nation’s capital to kill “all white police” at the White House. The Secret Service arrested him after receiving an alert from the Montgomery County Maryland Police Department to be on the lookout for Arega. He was found on the north side of Pennsylvania Avenue near Lafayette Park. A Facebook profile that appears to be Arega’s shows him “checked in” at the White House on Monday, and also includes posts with statements such as: “Now i am going to there to white House make sure kill All white POLICE !!,” “I remove the power of darkenes [sic] from USA in the powerful name of Jesus Christ !!,” and “Put Him on Jail Donald J Trump in Maighty Name of JESUS CHRRIST !!” Arega was not carrying any weapons when he was arrested, but was charged with making felony threats. ***Here’s hoping he was also charged with murdering proper spelling and grammar.  (Fox News)

Finnish game studio Next Games has announced it’s going to launch a new augmented reality smartphone game in the coming months based on AMC Networks’ hit TV show “Walking Dead.” Like Pokemon, but with zombies.  ***What could possibly go wrong?


(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

Scientists are increasingly warning that sitting for prolonged periods – even if you also exercise regularly – could be bad for your health. And it doesn’t matter where the sitting takes place – at the office, at school, in the car or before a computer or TV – just the overall number of hours it occurs.  ***I should be dead by now.

They now saw that 43% of the things you hear online are fake news. ***Kidding. I just made that up.

A recent study finds that liquids make up 22 percent of calories in the average American’s diet. Is that good, or bad? Well, the problem is most Americans only count the calories they get from solid foods — which means we’re not aware of how calories are sneaking into our diet.  ***You mean all the veggie trays I ate last Christmas mean nothing because I washed them down with a vat of eggnog?  Well, that doesn’t seem fair.

A recent study says that Chicago has one of the most unpredictable commutes in the country. ***Ain’t that the truth During your commute you never know whether you’ll be dodging rain, snow or bullets!

When asked “Who would play you in a movie about your life?” most Americans selected Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts as their choices for the lead roles. Other top choices included Denzel Washington, Clint Eastwood, Bruce Willis, Meg Ryan, Halle Berry, Sandra Bullock and Meryl Streep.  *** Or, in my case, comedian Louie Anderson.


(Not updated on weekends and U.S. holidays.)


OPEN: And now,, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you another inspiringly inspiring inspirational story in the never-ending deep-jungle soap-opera saga that is As the Jungle Turns!

CLOSE: Sounds like Millard has found a new – and dangerous hobby. Find out what happens next time, as, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns!

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of “As the Jungle Turns” in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us and ask about “Jungle Jam & Friends the Radio Show” usage.

A man readily admits he created a Moment of Duh when trying to take a selfie!
Johnny Bonde, a 27-year-old Danish backpacker was bitten by a freshwater crocodile in Western Australia’s far north area – something Bonde said was, “the result of me being stupid.” He decided to try to get close enough to the eight-foot crocodile to take a selfie when he stupidly slipped and fell on top of the creature! Bonde says he holds no hard feelings against the croc and added, “If somebody body slammed me at night, I would be angry too.” He was walking back from the Kimberley town’s Speedway when he spotted the “freshie” — which rarely attack people — and couldn’t resist trying to get a souvenir photo. Despite the injuries, Mr Bonde walked back to the caravan park where he was staying with his girlfriend, Kirsty Jacobs. He was then taken to hospital, where he was treated for deep lacerations in his forearm. (Perth Now)


10. Most of your belongings arrive successfully in Los Angeles. Unfortunately, you are moving to Phoenix.

9. Mime Movers is a great concept, but those invisible boxes don’t seem to work very well.

8. The first load they took was your entertainment center, home computer, and jewelry. That was two weeks ago.

7. While’s stock might have doubled in value since it went public, mentioning a moving van causes some confusion.

6. The phone number on their business card connects you to the Crime Stoppers hotline.

5. They don’t use peanuts to pack your fine crystal — they use peanut butter.

4. They assure you that your stuff will get from NY to LA before you do — assuming there’s not much traffic in the Panama Canal.

3. They keep flicking ashes in Grandma’s urn.

2. The box marked “TV” is barking.

1. An hour after the truck pulls away, all your stuff is listed on eBay.


A taxi cab probably isn’t the best getaway car for a bank robbery. 

FILE #1: Maurice Fields hailed a cab last week to take him to the South Carolina Community Bank in Columbia and then asked the driver to wait for him.  When he came out with a fistful of money, two customers followed him and told the cabbie not to take him anywhere because he had just robbed the bank.  Driver Michael Airs took his keys and got out of the cab. Officers quickly arrested Fields, who gave up without resisting.

FILE #2: From a farm in Ohio, comes a lesson from 52-year-old Frank Bearle: “How To Break Up A Fight Between Your Kids.” Frank’s two grown sons ages 25 and 27 were fighting in the front yard. One chased the other with a pitchfork, then the other brother punched him causing him to drop the pitchfork. They then both fell to the ground and started pummeling each other. That’s when Frank decided to intervene. He came over and struck one of his sons in the head with the shovel. Well that stopped the fight. When the ambulance arrived, they found the older son sitting in the front yard with blood pouring from his head. He was flown by helicopter to the hospital, where he was treated and released. Dad was arrested. When asked what they were fighting about, none of the three men had any idea.

FILE #3: Poor Kenneth Bishop of Gastonia, North Carolina.  You know it’s not your day when you get run over by a hit-and-run driver. You really know it’s going to be a bad day when the police officer responding to your accident also runs you over.

STRANGE LAW: In Alaska, the following laws apply to moose 1) it is illegal to give alcoholic beverages to a moose, 2) a moose may not be viewed from an airplane, and 3) it is an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.


This Is Your Brain On Drugs” is about people doing dumb things under the influence, but addiction is no laughing matter. If you or someone you know needs help, there’s a toll free number you can call 1-800-438-0380. That’s the Addiction Hope and Help Line at 1-800-438-0380.

When getting into the drug dealing business, it’s always a good idea to roll some of those profits back into buying you some transportation.

Two Romanian drug dealers failed to do that and were forced to hitch a ride back to town when it started to rain. As fate would have it, they got a ride from an unmarked police car. Naturally, the drug squad officer behind the wheel soon recognized the distinctive smell of marijuana and drove the pair straight to a nice, dry police station.


If you could only have one cable channel, which one would you choose?

According to one study, many women don’t go to coffee shops because they’re shabbily treated when they get there. How about it ladies, are you treated differently than men when you walk into that Starbucks or other coffee shop?


QUESTION: Who was the queen of Judah that ruled for 6 years?
ANSWER: Queen Athaliah (2 Kings 11:3)


QUESTION: Adults laugh between 15 and 100 times each day. On average, how many times each day do six-year-olds laugh?

ANSWER: 300. (By the way, laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system!)


Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

1. Muscles account for 80% of the weight of a human body. (False – they are 40% of the average human’s weight.)

2. The average human body contains enough: iron to make a 3 inch nail. (True)

3. The average human body contains enough sulfur to kill all the fleas on an average dog. (True)

4. The average human body contains enough carbon to make 900 pencils. (True)

5. The average human body contains enough potassium to fire a cannon. (False – unless it’s a toy cannon.)

6. The average human body contains enough fat to make 17 bars of soap (False – just seven bars.)

7. The average human body contains enough phosphorous to make 2,200 match heads. (True)

8. The average human body contains enough water to fill a four-gallon tank. (False – it can fill a ten gallon tank!)

9. The feet account for 15% of all the human body’s bones. (False – they account for about a quarter of the bones.)

10. The human body has over 1,000 muscles. (False – it has just over 600 of them.)


You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!


CAMBRIDGE, U.K. – A large new study done by scientists at Cambridge University prove that yoga helps lower back pain but causes mental illness.

The largest study ever done about the benefits of yoga examined over 5,800 people who did yoga regularly over a two-year period.  It concluded that yoga is extremely effective at relieving lower back pain, but yoga caused mental deficiencies in 80% of those studied and some kind of mental illness in over 72% of participants.



Because my mother had a habit of losing her cordless phone, I bought her a phone with a clip on it so she could attach it directly to her belt. A few days later, I walked into my mother’s home and found her standing in the middle of the living room, halfway dressed. That didn’t strike me as odd so much as the fact that she was holding her pants to the side of her head and speaking into them.

“Don’t look at me that way,” she yelled. “The phone started ringing and I couldn’t figure out how to undo this stupid clip!”


My grandpa, known for his offbeat sense of humor, adopted a dog and named him Mr. Peeve.

I took the bait, asked why he named it and he said because when people ask the dog’s name, I can say “That’s my pet Peeve.”


A girl went over to her friend and said, “I hear you broke off your engagement to Bob. Why?

It’s just that my feelings towards him aren’t the same any more.”

“Are you returning his diamond ring?”

“No way! My feelings towards the ring haven’t changed a bit!”


Coconuts kill more people each year than sharks do – approximately 150 people are killed by coconuts each year.  ***So the next time you see one in the wild, be sure to yell loudly and warn everyone.  “Coconut!  Coconut!  Everybody out from under the trees!  Coconut!”

A joint French-U.S. study shows that pigeons have one of the best long-term memories in the animal kingdom. ***And there you go – undeniable proof that they truly ARE targeting your car on purpose.

The World Meteorological Organization is running out of assigned names for hurricanes.  ***How is that possible?  Do they not read the Hollywood baby announcements?  We could use the names Scout, Rumor, Dweezel, Moon Unit and Apple!



1. Before changing lanes you should: (A) signal. (B) check. (C) both a & b. (D) just swing into the lane without doing either a or b.

2. The top light on a traffic signal is: (A) red. (B) yellow. (C) green. (D) Who cares, it doesn’t apply to me anyway.

3. The speed limit in a residential area is: (A) 35 MPH. (B) 25 MPH. (C) 45 MPH. (D) I paid $65,000 for this car, I’ll drive as fast as I want.

4. In California, when a pedestrian enters a cross walk, you should: (A) slow to a walking pace. (B) go around the block. (C) stop. (D) speed up and honk your horn.

5. In the other 49 states, when a pedestrian enters a cross walk, you should: (A) maintain your speed. (B) slow a little. (C) slow a lot. (D) speed up and honk your horn.

6. Your may make a left turn from the right lane: (A) never. (B) when there is a left turn arrow. (C) on Sunday (D) When ever you feel like it!

7. When a school bus has flashing red lights, you: (A) must stop. (B) may pass on the left after checking. (C) may pass after slowing to 5 MPH. (D) use your car phone to order Chinese food while passing on the left.

8. When you hear an emergency vehicle siren, you should: (A) pull to the right and stop. (B) pull into the nearest car wash. (C) roll down your windows. (D) turn up the radio and ignore it.

9. You may make a U-turn in front of a fire station: (A) never. (B) when the doors are closed. (C) if there are no police around. (D) when you have missed your turn.

10. When approaching a traffic light where cars are stopped, you should: (A) relax. (B) watch the signal. (C) stop a safe distance back from the car in front. (D) call your wife or secretary on your car phone so everyone can see that your have a car phone.


If you answered ‘d’ on every question, you have a perfect score. You are certified to drive a Mercedes Benz Automobile. You may, at your discretion, proceed to your nearest Mercedes Benz authorized distributor and select the Mercedes Benz Automobile of your choice.

If you answered a, b, or c on two or fewer questions, you may request a retest in two weeks time. Please study the Mercedes Benz motor vehicle guide in preparation for your retest.

If you answered a, b, or c on more than two questions, we’re sorry, you just don’t have the proper attitude to be a Mercedes Benz Automobile driver. Perhaps you should consider a BMW.


Most high school football players would be happy to score a touchdown for their team, but the moment was especially sweet for 16-year-old Tyler Brown of McComb, Ohio.

…Tyler has been legally blind since birth. Tyler usually acts as the team’s manager, but coach Kris Agle convinced the boy’s mother to let her son suit up with the team this season. Tyler hit the field for a few plays recently, but on Oct. 15, teammate Michael Keller urged Agle to put Tyler in the game at halftime. With the players behind him, Tyler, positioned as the team’s quarterback, made the play of his life. He took the snap and two other players pushed him over the goal line for the touchdown.



  • 1 cup Tension
  • 2 cups Stress
  • 1 ½ teaspoons of Guilt
  • 2 heaping cups of Limited Time
  • 3/4 tablespoon of Urgency
  • A dash of “No Other Choice”
  • 3 heaping cups of Faith

Fold ingredients gently into a bowl. Mix vigorously and add a few tears. You’ll sweat a little as you knead the dough. Pack it firmly between your hopes and dreams and form into a perfect little ball. Sprinkle it with a little faith (I recommend Hebrews 11), rolling the ball in the flour until fully covered. Place it under a veil of belief and allow it to rise. Put it in an oven that has been pre-set at the perfect temperature for the heat of trials and tribulations. Allow it to brown under the warmth of God’s love. Remove after due season and allow to cool in the confidence of His promise. Garnish with your praises. Arrange neatly on a platter of thankfulness and serve to friends, families and, oh yes, strangers… invite them too!



Nor did I go up to Jerusalem to see those who were apostles before I was, but I went immediately into Arabia and later returned to Damascus. – (Galatians 1:17)

The apostle Paul tells us in the first chapter of Galatians some of the facts surrounding his own conversion. He tells us that he clearly understood the call Jesus placed on his life. He did not have to consult other men about this calling. But before he was released to begin his own mission, He went to Arabia for three years. Why did Paul have to go to Arabia for three years before he ever met another disciple of Jesus Christ?

The Scripture does not tell us plainly why Paul spent three years in Arabia. However, based upon many examples of God placing special calls on people’s lives, we know it often requires a time of separation between the old life and the new life. No doubt, Paul had plenty of time to consider what had taken place in his life and time to develop an intimate knowledge and relationship with the newfound Savior. His life was about to change dramatically.

So often, when God places a call on one of His children, it requires a separation between the old life and the new life. There is a time of being away from the old in order to prepare the heart for what is coming. It can be a painful and difficult separation. Joseph was separated from his family. Jacob was sent to live with his uncle Laban. Moses was sent to the desert.

Perhaps God has placed you in your own desert period. Perhaps you cannot make sense of the situation in which you find yourself. If you press into God during this time, He will reveal the purposes He has for you. The key is pressing into Him. Seek Him with a whole heart and He will be found. God may have a special calling and message He is building in your life right now. Trust in His love for you that He will fully complete the work He has started in you.



Ever been told you’re too smart for a job?  Well, we haven’t (because we work in radio), but one man has been told that – so he can’t be a police officer!

There’s another way you can be discriminated against now — being too smart. You may have heard the story of Robert Jordan. He was the man who wanted to become a police officer in New London, Connecticut, but was rejected because he scored too high on the police exam. In 1996 he took the test and scored 33 points, the equivalent of an IQ of 125. But New London police interviewed only candidates who scored 20 to 27, on the theory that those who scored too high could get bored with police work and leave soon after undergoing costly training. Jordan launched a federal lawsuit against the city, but lost. Recently the 2nd US Circuit Court of Appeals in New York upheld a lower court’s decision that the city did not discriminate against Jordan because the same standards were applied to everyone who took the test. The average score nationally for police officers is 21 to 22, the equivalent of an IQ of 104, or just a little above average. Jordan says he’s given up trying to get on the force.


University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee researchers made a surprising discovery: smoking bans in bars are killing people.

…They studied a number of locations around the U.S. and found that in areas where smoking was banned in bars, deaths from drunk driving went up. They aren’t sure why: it could be that people who aren’t allowed to smoke compensate by drinking more. But it’s more likely that smokers are willing to drive to bars in other jurisdictions that don’t ban smoking, so they end up driving after drinking.



Next time you buy a mobile phone, you may be surprised what you find in the box!

A man who bought a mobile phone from a department store. He took it home, removed the plastic from around the box, opened the box and found not a Nokia phone – but four potatoes. Dave Bailey, the new owner of those four potatoes, thinks it could have been done as a scam, or by a worker as a joke on their last day. He said, “The culprit has obviously weighed it cleverly to make it feel like a phone package. Imagine if that had been sent to a kid as a Christmas present – they would have been devastated.” ***MARLAR: Either that, or the kid would think, “Alright!  Mr. Potato Head!”



  • Old bankers never die; they just lose their balance.

  • Old mailmen never die. They just lose their zip.

  • Old superintendents never die, they just lose their principles.

  • Old photographers never die, they just stop developing.

  • Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.

  • Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal.

  • Old speakers never die, they just go on and on and on and on.


The weekend’s here and the weather’s still warm enough to spend the next 2 days in flip-flops and sandals, right guys? WRONG. In a survey of 6,000 women, it turns out most don’t want to see our furry feet and trashy toes. Flip-flops? Nope, not unless you’re going to the beach, the lake, hanging out by the pool, or sitting on a boat. Sandals? Sorry, still too much toe-action — unless you’re wearing the more rugged, hiker-style sandals that cover the toes. And those Adidas athletic slip-on things many guys wear with socks? They only place you should be wearing them is in a gym shower.  And while we’re on the subject… women in the survey also want guys to get some freaking pedicures. 78% of women surveyed said men need to take better care of their feet.


(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

Tie on your running shoes and hit the pavement. But don’t go too fast. Just jog at a nice, even pace. You could add about six years to your life by jogging regularly, according to Danish researchers with the Copenhagen City Heart Study. “The results of our research allow us to definitively answer the question of whether jogging is good for your health,” Peter Schnohr, chief cardiologist of the long-running Copenhagen City Heart Study, said in a news release from the European Society of Cardiology. “We can say with certainty that regular jogging increases longevity. The good news is that you don’t actually need to do that much to reap the benefits.”  ***Question though.  If you do live six years longer, do you have knee problems because of all of that jogging?  Inquiring minds want to know.

Do you notice a difference in your brainpower based on the season? It could very well be that cold temperatures or steamy, humid days can make a difference in how well you think and even in the strength of your short-term memory, reports HealthDay News of research from the University of Liege in Belgium. The study foundt hat the brain scans showed attention skills were best near the summer solstice in June and worst near the winter solstice in December. Short-term memory was best in the fall and worst in the spring. Here’s an important note: the differences in brain function are not significant enough for us to notice in day-to-day life. However, the amount of brain activity did change and she insists that the season is most likely responsible for that. How do the seasons affect our brainpower? It’s not totally clear, but the researchers think it is multiple factors, such as seasonal changes in humidity, temperature, the length of days and even social interaction between people that are involved.

A recent study found that women who wait till marriage to have sex are less likely to later get divorced than women who have premarital sex. The study also found that only three percent of women, however, wait until marriage to have sex. And it found that women married since the year 2000 who had two sexual partners prior to marriage surprisingly were just as likely to get divorced as women who had 10 or more sexual partners. According to the report, the main reason that women choose abstinence is religion.

Crosswords Keep Your Brain Younger! Researchers may not be ready to claim that word puzzles can help stave off age-related neurological diseases like Alzheimer’s, but a major new study shows that there does appear to be a link between word puzzle play and improved cognition. Analyzing data from more than 17,000 healthy people aged 50 and older, researchers at the University of Exeter Medical School and Kings College London announced that when it comes to tests on short-term memory and grammatical reasoning speed, people who play word puzzles like crosswords enjoy cognitive health that is equivalent to 10 years younger than their actual age. That performance was not only consistently better in people who engage in puzzles, but actually improved incrementally with the frequency of puzzle play. The findings were unveiled at this week’s Alzheimer’s Association International Conference in London. (University of Exter)

If you think you don’t have to worry about having “senior moments” until you’re a senior citizen, think again. Although experts have long held that changes in memory and mental function occur naturally as we age, but rarely before age 60, it appears that cognitive decline actually begins in our mid- to late-40s. And some of these changes can be a harbinger of Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia, reports Even the youngest participants displayed slight — but measurable — declines in short-term memory, mental reasoning and verbal facility over the course of the study, reports Most of the mental declines were far too small to be noticeable in everyday life; instead, they were detected only through a battery of memory tests administered once every three or four years. However, leading a healthy lifestyle and maintaining good cardiovascular health can help protect mental function and memory.


(Feel-good stories! Only posted as new stories come available. Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

Five-year-old Sunshine Oelfke has been faithfully saving her money to buy an Arctic Cat snowmobile, so when the tot emptied her piggy bank and put the money in her backpack, Sunshine’s grandmother, Jackie Oelfke, was confused. When Jackie asked Sunshine what she was doing, the kindhearted kindergartener told her grandmother that she wanted to help out her friend who didn’t have money for milk at snack time. And what started as a $30 donation quickly grew to more than $13,000 when folks around the country heard Sunshine’s story.


(Only posted as stories come available. Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)


I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.


Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 35 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).

NOVEMBER 03, 2017…

Thor: Ragnarok—Chris Hemsworth is back playing Marvel’s comic book character, Thor, the God of Thunder. This time, Thor has gotten a makeover and has less hair and a bit more comedy. Laugh, you say? Thor finds himself on a planet called Sakaar. He is to go into battle and it is with an old friend—The Hulk (Mark Ruffalo.) The Mass meets The Hammer, who ends up with a pair of swords, instead.  Will the planet ever be the same? All this because they are against the Goddess of Death, no less, and that is Cate Blanchett. I have a theory that at least once in an actor’s career, they have to play a mythical character. Anyway, Thor has an ally, Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson) who is being hidden on Sakaar. The ruler here is actually The Grandmaster (Jeff Goldblum—what—no dinosaurs?). Also in the cast is Tom Hiddleston as Loki, and there are a few surprise characters in the film, too. This “Thor” promises to have a few chuckles here and there. Director at the helm is Taika Waititi. “Thor: Ragnorok” (which by the way, means a battle for all day) is rated PG 13. Rating of 3 for fans and you know who you are.

Last Flag Flying—This film, in time for Veteran’s Day, is about the funeral of a soldier. This soldier died 30 years ago, and now the funeral will happen.  The men who come to the funeral are Bryan Cranston, Laurence Fishburne and Steve Carell.  Richard Linklater directs this movie. “Last Flag Flying” is rated R. Rating of 2 for fans.

A Bad Mom’s Christmas—It is the Christmas holidays, and, as usual, Mom has to do everything from baking cookies to shopping to decorating the tree and keeping the kids occupied. Enough is enough. In this film, Kirsten Bell, Kathryn Hahn and Mila Kunis take time off for themselves and let the chips fall where they may because their own Mother’s (Christine Baranski, Susan Sarandon and Cheryl Hines) come to visit.  “A Bad Mom’s Christmas” is rated R. No rating. A familiar plot is in “Daddy’s Home 2” that opens next week and stars Mark Wahlberg.

LBJ (opening in select cities)—Would you believe that Woody Harrelson takes on the role of President Lyndon Baines Johnson as he first assumes office? In Hollywood, there is a role for everyone. Not only does immediate action have to be taken, but a country has to be consoled. Also in the cast are Richard Jenkins, Jennifer Jason Leigh as Lady Bird, and Jeffrey Donovan. “LBJ” is rated R. No rating.

NOVEMBER 10, 2017…

Daddy’s Home 2 is another story of two friendly enemies having their own fathers come to visit (reference “A Bad Mom’s Christmas”) Stars Mark Wahlberg.

Murder On The Orient Express is yet another remake of the Agatha Christie classic, this time with Kenneth Branaugh playing Hercule Poirot.

Lady Bird is the story of a young girl reaching adulthood. Stars Saoirse Ronan.

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri has Frances McDormand trying to find the killer of her daughter. (no Ebbing, Missouri, this was filmed in the Carolinas.)

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