November 13, 2015: Friday ONAIRprep

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PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION: 20151113

 

 

WELCOME TO THE SHOW!

I stopped by the boss’ office before starting the show today. Watched him working for a couple of minutes. He’s really improving. He almost always colors the sky blue now.

 

 

BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” –1 John 5:14

 

Romans 8:26 = In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.

 

Since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. — Colossians 1:9

 

 

HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT

Be exalted, O LORD, in your strength; we will sing and praise your might. — Psalm 21:13

 

Thought: What is our role in the grand scheme of things? In Psalm 21, the Spirit emphasizes our importance as God’s “cheerleaders.” We ask God to reveal himself in glory. We urge God to make his strength known to all people. We marvel in amazement at his great deeds. We praise God for all the incredible things he has done for us.

 

Prayer: Dear Father in heaven, exalt yourself and your name above all things. I rededicate myself to daily praise and thanksgiving for all that you have done, all that you are doing, and all that you will do in the future. To you, the only true God, the Alpha and Omega, I offer my heartfelt praise and my songs of joy. In the name of the Lord Jesus, I pray. Amen.

 

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@heartlight.org.

 

 

BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY

The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!

Deuteronomy 11:13 NIV = So if you faithfully obey the commands I am giving you today… to love the Lord your God and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul…

 

 

TODAY IS FRIDAY – NOVEMBER 13, 2015

(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 42 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.  

 

Today is WORLD KINDNESS DAY. ***MARLAR: Be kind to the world – tell them about this show and urge them to listen in. It’d be one small step towards world peace.

 

Today is NATIONAL INDIAN PUDDING DAY. ***MARLAR: If it’s anything like eating Indian corn, no thanks.

 

Today is NATIONAL REREAD OLD MAGAZINES DAY. ***MARLAR: Visit a doctor’s office near you.

 

Today is NATIONAL PAINT A PUMPKIN DAY. ***MARLAR: It’s probably going to take a lot more than a coat of paint, however, to make it look presentable if you carved a face in it a couple of weeks ago.

 

 

TODAY IS ALSO. . .

World Kindness Day

 

 

COMING UP NEXT

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 14

International Girls Day

Loosen Up, Lighten Up Day

National American Teddy Bear Day

National Spicy Guacamole Day

National Pickle Day

Operating Room Nurse Day

Spirit of NSA (National Speakers Association) Day

World Diabetes Day

International Selfie Day

 

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 15

America Recycles Day

George Spelvin Day or More Than One Role Day

I Love to Write Day

National Bundt Day

National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day

National Philanthropy Day

Rock Your Mocs Day

 

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 16

International Day for Tolerance

National Button Day

 

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 17

Homemade Bread Day

National Entrepreneurship Day

National Unfriend Day

World Prematurity Awareness Day

 

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 18

European Antibiotic Awareness Day

GIS Day (Geographic Information Systems)

Married To a Scorpio Support Day

Mickey Mouse Day

National Apple Cider Day

National Educational Support Professionals Day

Push-Button Phone Day

 

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 19

American Made Matters Day

Equal Opportunity Day (Gettysburg Address Day)

Great American Smokeout

Have a Bad Day Day

International Men’s Day

Rocky and Bullwinkle Day

Use Less Stuff Day

World Philosophy Day

Women’s Entrepreneurship Day

World Toilet Day

 

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 20

African Industrialization Day

Globally Organized Hug a Runner Day (G.O.H.A.R.D.)

Name Your PC Day

National Peanut Butter Fudge Day

Universal Children’s Day

 

 

ON THIS DAY

1789: In a letter to a friend, Benjamin Franklin wrote, “In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”

 

1939: Henry Jeffers demonstrated his rotolactor, a rotating milking machine that could milk 240 cows per hour.

 

1940: Walt Disney released the movie Fantasia, and it bombed. In 1967 he released it again, and it was a hit. ***MARLAR: Then he released it again in 2000 and audiences again realized, “Hey, this movie really DOES stink!

 

1946: Vincent Schaefer produced history’s first artificial snow on Mt. Greylock, Massachusetts. ***MARLAR: So if you build a snowman out of artificial snow, does that mean that you’ve created artificial life?

 

1990: The U.S. issued a patent (#4,969,317) to April Ode of Lake Havasu City, Arizona, for the Animal Hat, a cowboy hat designed to protect animals from heat and sunlight. It was held on by a Velcro chin strap.

 

1995: Officials at a Danish veterinary hospital in Copenhagen announced discovery of history’s first known green cat. Vets said the green would not wash out, and the 2-month-old kitten’s color might be caused by a metabolism defect. Owner Pia Bischoff named her kitty Miss Greeny. ***MARLAR: I think I would’ve stuck the cat on eBay to make some greeny.

 

2003: Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore was thrown off the bench by a judicial ethics panel for having “placed himself above the law.” He had refused to remove his granite Ten Commandments monument from the state courthouse.

 

2006: A 9-year-old boy, whose mom passed out while driving on a busy highway, hopped into her lap, stopped the car, and called 9-1-1.. Jimmy Stevens, whose two younger siblings were in the backseat, said he learned how to stop the car by watching his mother, Latisha. The family honored Jimmy with a special dinner at Red Lobster.

 

 

TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY

0354: Birth of St. Augustine of Hippo, greatest of the Early Latin Church Fathers. Of his many writings, two have endured: “Confessions” describes the circumstances leading to his conversion to the Christian faith, and “The City of God” was written as a Christian view of the sacking of Rome by the Visigoths in the year 410.

 

1564: Pius IV ordered his bishops and scholars to subscribe to “Professio Fidei,” the Profession of the Tridentine Faith recently formulated at the Council of Trent (1545-63) as the new and final definition of the Roman Catholic faith.

 

1618: In the Dutch commune of Dordrecht, the Synod of Dort convened to discuss the Arminian controversy vexing the Reformed faith. In the end, about 200 Arminian (Remonstrant) ministers were deposed and fifteen were placed under arrest and later expelled from the country.

 

1804: Anglican missionary to Persia, Henry Martyn wrote in his journal: ‘God and eternal things are my only pleasure.’

1962 The name of St. Joseph was added to the canon of the Roman Catholic mass. It constituted the first alteration made to this canon since the seventh century.

 

 

HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS

  • comedian (“MAD TV”, “Win Ben Stein’s Money”, “Jimmy Kimmel Live”) Jimmy Kimmel 48 (
    )
  • actress (Capt. Elizabeth Lochley on “Babylon 4” and “Crusade”, Amanda Carpenter on “Lonesome Dove: The Outlaw Years”, Cassandra on “Highlander”) Tracy Scoggins 56
  • actor (“The Good Wife”, Detective Mike Logan on “Law & Order” and “Law & Order: Criminal Intent”, Big on “Sex & The City”, The Perfect Man, Mr. 3000, Off. Ron Lipsky on “Hillstreet Blues”) Chris Noth 61
  • actress (Sister Act, Ghost, Jumpin Jack Flash, “The View”, Guinan on “Star Trek the Next Generation”) Whoopi Goldberg 65

 

 

BEE-BOP BIRTHDAYS

(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)

1921 : Joonas Kokkonen

1933 : Clyde McPhatter (The Drifters)

1934 : Timmy Thomas

1940 : Justine “Baby” Washington

1943 : John Hammond Jr.

1946 : Ray Wylie Hubbard

1947 : Toy Caldwell (The Marshall Tucker Band)

1949 : Terry Reid

1949 : Roger Steen (The Tubes)

1951 : Bill Gibson (Huey Lewis and the News)

1964 : Walter Kibby (Fishbone)

 

 

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE

Where do we get the word “posh?”

The word posh, which denotes luxurious rooms or accommodations, originated when ticket agents in England marked the tickets of travelers going by ship to the Orient. Since there was no air conditioning in those days, it was always better to have a cabin on the shady side of the ship as it passed through the Mediterranean and Suez area. Since the sun is in the south, those with money paid extra to get cabin’s on the left, or port, traveling to the Asia, and on the right, or starboard, when returning to Europe. Hence their tickets were marked with the initials for Port Outbound Starboard Homebound, or POSH.

 

 

CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS

Do you like the Christian Artist News you see below? It’s just a tiny sample of the 5-6 pages of material you could be receive every weekday… and it’s FREE! Become one of their subscribers at ChristianRadioShowPrepServices.com!

 

Another groaner from Citizen Way: Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.

 

Jodi, from Love and the Outcome, says bus mates share everything. She is on the Winterjam tour and headed out for coffee wearing one of Jamie Grace’s hoodies.

 

The members of the band Among The Thirsty shared a picture as they wrapped up another tour this week. Band members noted: We have been touring for 10 years now and the past 6 weeks have probably been the best of our career. Although, we are sad it’s over, we are looking forward to some time with our families and babies. Thanks for all your support and we’ll see you on the road soon!

 

Audio Adrenaline was preparing this week for the overseas portion of their tour. The band will be playing in Kenya and shared pictures as they got ready for the trip by bringing their shots up to date. It didn’t look like the guys in the band were enjoying the experience.

 

Comedian Bob Smiley tweeted this week: Today’s that day I dread every year as a dad…my kid’s Halloween bags only have Almond Joys left in them.

 

 

ODD & STRANGE NEWS…

(THIS WILL BE CHANGING SOON DUE TO MYNEWS SHUTTING DOWN. I WILL LOOK TO FIND MATERIAL ELSEWHERE, BUT LETTING YOU KNOW THAT THIS WILL LOOK DIFFERENT SOON.)

 

Official seeks $123,000 after university mascot jumps on him    photo
PHOENIX (AP) — A suburban Phoenix official filed a claim against Arizona State University, saying the school mascot seriously injured his back when the costumed character playfully leaped on him at a football game two months after surgery. But Tempe City Councilman David Schapira said…

 

Lamb on the lam for hours after Nevada crash to be adopted    photo
LAS VEGAS (AP) — A lamb that was on the lam for hours after a tractor-trailer crash in Nevada killed 74 other sheep has been caught and will be adopted by a foster family. The female lamb nicknamed Dodger wandered off from the crash site and was missing in the desert overnight before being…
NYC police: Notorious subway joy-rider steals Greyhound bus
NEW YORK (AP) — Police say a man with a long history of pretending to be a transit worker and commandeering New York City subway trains for joy rides has been arrested after stealing a Greyhound bus. Police say Darius McCollum was arrested Wednesday by officers who spotted the bus in…
Deer makes surprise visit to Michigan collision repair shop    photo
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. (AP) — A collision repair shop in western Michigan that fixes cars after crashes involving deer got a surprise visitor from one of the animals. Star Collision CARSTAR general manager Terry VandenToorn tells The Grand Rapids Press that the buck was spotted running down the…
Indonesia uses trained elephants to control forest fires    photo
SIAK, Indonesia (AP) — Forest fires difficult to control? Call in the pachyderm patrol. Officials in Indonesia are using trained elephants outfitted with water pumps and hoses to help control fires that have claimed vast amounts of forest while sending thick haze into neighboring countries….
Woman admits she stole cop car, sped off while handcuffed
BEAVER, Pa. (AP) — A western Pennsylvania woman has admitted she stole a police cruiser and led police officers on an 80 mph chase — all while her hands were cuffed behind her. Twenty-eight-year-old Roxanne Rimer, of Chippewa Township, also pleaded guilty Tuesday in Beaver County Court…
Police find woman hiding, and now she’s really in doghouse
FRANKFORT, Ky. (AP) — A Kentucky woman faces charges after authorities say they found her hiding in an empty doghouse after a dangerous pursuit. Frankfort police tell local media that 28-year-old Myranda Skinner and 36-year-old Bryan Wells led officers on a chase Monday morning after an…
Bubble yuck: Crews unstick old gum from famed Seattle wall    photo
SEATTLE (AP) — A piece of Seattle history is coming down — or rather, 1 million little pieces. Crews are cleaning up the city’s famed “gum wall” near Pike Place Market, where tourists and locals have been sticking their used chewing gum for the past 20 years. The wall is plastered with…
AP PHOTOS: Seattle’s famed ‘gum wall’ gets a fresh start    photo
SEATTLE (AP) — Crews have begun cleaning up Seattle’s famed “gum wall” near Pike Place Market, where tourists and locals have been sticking their used chewing gum for the past 20 years. Here’s a snapshot of the attraction: WHAT’S THE STORY BEHIND IT? People first began sticking gum to the…
A big splash! New Hampshire waterpark owner chained to tower
CANDIA, N.H. (AP) — The owner of a New Hampshire waterpark facing foreclosure chained himself to the top of a slide tower and is hoping for a financial miracle. In postings on his Facebook page, Kevin Dumont said he’s not looking for a handout, just a person or group of people to work with…
Playboy settles model’s California golf-injury lawsuit
LOS ANGELES (AP) — Playboy Enterprises has settled a lawsuit by a model who claimed she was hurt when an employee whacked her in the buttocks with a golf club during a Southern California event. According to City News Service, Elizabeth Dickson’s attorney told a judge on Monday that the case…

 

 

HEALTH & FITNESS NEWS…

(THIS WILL BE CHANGING SOON DUE TO MYNEWS SHUTTING DOWN. I WILL LOOK TO FIND MATERIAL ELSEWHERE, BUT LETTING YOU KNOW THAT THIS WILL LOOK DIFFERENT SOON.)

 

Obesity still rising among US adults, women overtake men    photo
NEW YORK (AP) — Obesity is still rising among American adults, despite more than a decade of public-awareness campaigns and other efforts to get people to watch their weight, and women have now overtaken men in the obese category, new government research shows. For the past several years,…

 

Drug might help breast cancer patients avoid heart damage    photo
ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) — Many cancer treatments have a dark side — they can damage the heart. New research suggests this risk might be lowered in women with breast tumors if they take a heart drug as a preventive measure during their cancer care. If confirmed in wider testing, this could…
China’s gray smog has a blue lining: Air improves this year    photo
BEIJING (AP) — Lawyer Wu Congsi has asthma and keeps air purifiers whirring away in his office, home and car to counter Beijing’s hazardous smog. He prefers to stay inside unless the sky is blue. But this year, he’s been able to regularly walk the 15 minutes or so to work. That’s because of…
Hospital releases nurse who suffered Ebola complication
LONDON (AP) — London’s Royal Free Hospital says it has discharged Scottish nurse Pauline Cafferkey, who was hospitalized last month after suffering from a rare relapse of Ebola. Cafferkey was treated for meningitis that developed as a result of lingering Ebola in her system. Now free from…
German transport agency is testing emissions on 23 brands    photo
BERLIN (AP) — Germany’s Federal Motor Transport Authority says it’s testing the emissions of vehicles made by 23 foreign and domestic brands following revelations that Volkswagen installed software on some 11 million vehicles allowing them to fake emissions results. The agency said Wednesday…
Express Scripts sues Horizon, fight over prescriptions grows    photo
The drugmaker Horizon Pharma is questioning its relationship with an Express Scripts business after the pharmacy benefits giant sued Horizon for about $140 million and dumped a pharmacy that dispenses its drugs. Shares of Horizon Pharma Plc plunged Wednesday after it said it will re-evaluate its…
India sees clean cooking as climate action that saves lives    photo
GANORA SHEIKH VILLAGE, India (AP) — Kamlesh feeds the flames of a crude clay cookstove with kindling, kerosene and sunbaked discs of cow dung. She breathes in the billowing smoke, as she does for hours every day. Her eyes water and sting. Her throat feels scratchy and sore. Kamlesh is one of…
Customers head to Chipotle as outlets reopen in Northwest    photo
SEATTLE (AP) — Customers returned to Pacific Northwest Chipotle restaurants on Wednesday as the chain reopened after an E. coli outbreak that sickened about 45 people in Washington state and Oregon. Matt Gilham, 34, said he wasn’t particularly concerned about the health scare connected to 11…
Vietnam veterans’ bond strengthened by kidney donation    photo
NEW YORK (AP) — Serving together in Vietnam, John Middaugh and Henry “Bill” Warner forged an Army-brothers bond they knew was profound and lasting. A world and nearly a half a century away from the war zone where they’d counted on each other, Middaugh put himself on the line for Warner this…
Renzi plans to invest $1.6B for health research over decade    photo
MILAN (AP) — Italian Premier Matteo Renzi is proposing a research center focused on improving human health at the former site of Expo 2015. Renzi said Tuesday that the government is prepared to invest 150 million euros ($160 million) a year over the next decade to spark the creation of a…
FDA clears first new tobacco products under federal pathway
WASHINGTON (AP) — The Food and Drug Administration has cleared the first new tobacco products for the U.S. market, under a system authorized more than 5 years ago. The agency on Tuesday cleared the sale of eight varieties of snus, or teabag-like pouches of loose tobacco, from Swedish Match….

 

 

NEWS KICKERS

(None on the weekends)

 

NEW NEWS KICKERS…

Al Gore says he’s “not ready to endorse Hillary Clinton” for president.  *** He’s apparently waiting to hear from Mother Earth what she wants.

 

Another combatant has entered the “War on Christmas Cups,” as Dunkin’ Donuts unveiled its own holiday-themed coffee cup this week. Dunkin’s new cup — unlike the controversy-stirring Starbucks cup — is loaded with Christmas cheer, featuring red and green wreaths and holly surrounding the word “Joy.”  *** So we can now expect some fake hate on the other side of the aisle with people complaining about getting religion shoved down their throats.  Ain’t the holidays wonderful?

 

Ninety-two-year-old former Senator Bob Dole has endorsed Jeb Bush for president.  *** Jeb’s next hurdle is explaining to the voters who the heck Bob Dole is.

 

Bravo has announced a super-sized expansion of The Real Housewives franchise, including a series in Dallas, Texas – and one in Potomac, Maryland.  *** Wow.  Bravo is so completely out of ideas that not only are they reusing ideas – they are reusing their own awful ideas.

 

 

NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…

While few people enjoy a trip to the dentist, it’s particularly bad for redheads, scientists have discovered. Carrot tops are twice as likely as blondes or brunettes to avoid the dentist because of fear related anxiety, says a report in the Journal of the American Dental Association. Researchers believe it’s because the gene melanocortin-1 receptor, which causes red hair, may be present in redheads’ brains, making them more susceptible to pain. (Globe)  ***MARLAR: So lay off – it’s not my fault I’m a wussy-man.

 

Scientists are warning residents in the southern states about the spread of the invasion of crazy ants. They’re nicknamed crazy ants because of their behavior. ***They eat everything in sight, won’t get out of your swimming pool, and never return your lawn mower.

 

For more than half of Americans, Black Friday is just another day. Last year, 56 percent of Americans stayed home on the big shopping day and over the weekend as well. Why? Mostly because of the maddening crowds. But a third of respondents also felt that the deals being offered were overblown.  ***MARLAR: Oh… and also because they can get all of their shopping on “Brown Thursday” instead of spending time with their family for Thanksgiving.

 

Gift cards have become the can’t-go-wrong present, and like everything else, they are now going digital.  ***MARLAR: In fact, this year my family is taking this to the logical conclusion, and not only are we giving digital gift cards, but we’re going to save on travel costs and visit each other via Google Hangouts and a green-screened fireplace in the background.

 

 

WONDER WOMAN

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Doctor’s Practice”

 

 

DAILY COMEDY CLIP

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Ken Davis, “Rat Salad”

 

 

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD FRIDAY’S EPISODE
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! When last we left our story, Marvy Snuffleson had been sent to his room by his parents because he’d been mean to the new kid in the neighborhood and refused to play with him – mostly because it wasn’t cool. But now the thunderstorm has tossed Marvy, his teddy-bear, and his entire bed out the bedroom window and onto the high seas!

 

CLOSE: What kind of place is this that Marvy has washed ashore upon? And who are the furry, tall creatures? Find out next time – As the Jungle Turns!

 

 

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF NOVEMBER 14/15

 

OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! When last we left the jungle island of Razzleflabbin, Katie Snuffleson has boarded the cloud tram and was off on her way to Candyland – despite the warnings from Olaf and Karl that it could be dangerous if she eats too much candy – as she might fall from the sky! But Katie doesn’t seem all that concerned… at least not yet.

 

CLOSE: Oh boy – too much candy has made Katie too heavy for the clouds to support her any longer! Karl and Olaf warned her this could happen – but did she listen? No. Will Katie survive? Find out next time, As the Jungle Turns!

 

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of As the Jungle Turns in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us.

 

 

MOMENT OF DUH

Would-be cleaners take note: A blowtorch is not a good substitute for a broom.

Coweta County authorities say Galen Winchell set fire to his west Georgia home Wednesday as he cleaned cobwebs from exterior eaves with a blowtorch. Winchell noticed the blaze when he saw smoke pouring from the attic. Coweta Fire Investigator James Gantt says the fire was contained to one part of the house, but the entire home had smoke and water damage.

 

 

TOP TEN

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU MAY BE A COLLEGE STUDENT

 

  1. You live in a house with three couches, none of which match.

 

  1. You consider Mac and Cheese a balanced meal.

 

  1. You have ever written a check for 45 cents.

 

  1. Your glass set is composed of McDonald’s Extra Value Meal Plastic Cups

 

  1. You can pack your worldly possessions into the back of a pick-up (one trip).

 

  1. You eat at the cafeteria because it’s “free, even though it’s bad.”

 

  1. Your breakfast consists of a Coke on the way to class.

 

  1. You carry less than a dollar on you at all times because that’s all you have.

 

  1. Your idea of “doing your hair” is putting on a baseball cap.

 

  1. Your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some Ramen Noodles.

 

 

THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER

Remember that old Alka Seltzer commercial about the guy who “couldn’t believe he ate the whole thing”? This story might remind you of that.

 

FILE #1: A hungry criminal broke into a bakery and found some cakes that were to his liking. So much to his liking in fact that he ate 42 of them. Maybe he should have stopped at 41 because he suffered such severe indigestion that he couldn’t even move. Security guards heard moaning coming from the kitchen and called the cops who arrested the overeating criminal.

 

FILE#2: Steve Bartlett had his bicycle stolen, but wasn’t the least bit sad about the incident. The Minnesota teen says a burglar broke into his garage and stole his bike, but left a bike for him. “A better, much nicer bike”, says Steve. Steve called the unknown burglar “considerate” and said, “It was actually nicer than my bike. Maybe they will rip off somebody else’s bike and put mine in its place.”

 

FILE #3: A San Francisco man recently jogged into the Geary Street Safeway grocery store at a brisk pace. The man jogged around the store grabbing a canned ham, and several other items. Without breaking pace, the man shot through an unoccupied checkout line and jogged out the door. With the checkout clerk and several other bag boys in pursuit, the jogger ran across nearby Webster Street. He looked back over his shoulder shouting, “You’ll never catch me!” And at that very instant, a car hit him! He was rushed to a nearby hospital and treated for only minor injuries.

 

STRANGE LAW: In Ohio it is illegal to get a fish drunk.

 

 

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

Trees and alcohol do not mix.

A drunken student recently spent the night in a tree and had to be rescued by British firefighters. The student had climbed 100 feet up a pine tree, without his shoes on, and then fell asleep. Eight firefighters needed 90 minutes and ropes and pulleys to get him down from his precarious perch. As one fire official put it, “Alcohol and climbing trees don’t really mix.”

 

 

PHONER PHUN

Talking, Crunching popcorn, people answering their cell phones, the back of your seat being kicked… what annoys you the most at a movie theatre? (See today’s “It Must Be True…”)

 

 

BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!

QUESTION: What baby was given a name by his dying mother, but had it changed by his father?
ANSWER: Benjamin (Genesis 35:18-20)

“As she breathed her last, for she was dying, she named her son Ben-Oni. But his father named him Benjamin. So Rachel died and was buried on the way to Ephrath (that is, Bethlehem). Over her tomb Jacob set up a pillar, and to this day that pillar marks Rachel’s tomb.” (Ben-Oni means son of my trouble. Benjamin means son of my right hand.)

 

 

QUESTION IMPOSSIBLE

QUESTION: A cow gives approximately how many glasses of milk during her life?

ANSWER: 200,000

 

 

TRUE OR FALSE

Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

 

  1. Cows don’t have upper front teeth. (True. Although a cow has no upper front teeth, it grazes up to 8 hours a day, taking in about 100 lbs of feed and the equivalent of a bath tub full of water.)

 

  1. After the Easter egg hunt is over, 22% of people throw the eggs away instead of eating them. (True. And 2 percent said they let them rot outside, unfound.)

 

  1. Approximately 8,000 peanuts make a 18 oz jar of peanut butter. (False – it’s more like 850 peanuts.)

 

  1. Approximately one out of four injuries by athletes involve the knee. (False – it’s the wrist and hand.)

 

  1. Newborn babies’ eyes do not produce tears. (True – until the baby is approximately six to eight weeks old.)

 

  1. It takes 10,000 dill seeds to make up an ounce. (True)

 

  1. Every year, surgical tools are left in approximately 150 patients in the USA. (False – it’s more like 1,500 patients! Fatter patients are more prone to having a surgical tool left inside of them due to the additional amount of space in their bodies.)

 

  1. In New York City, approximately 1,600 people every year are bitten by other humans. (True!)

 

  1. There are approximately 13,000 identifiable varieties of roses throughout the world. (True.)

 

  1. There are approximately 21,000 different species of mosquitoes. (False – there are about 2,700 known species of mosquitoes.)

 

 

TABLOID MATCH GAME

You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!

“New Pedicure Uses _____ To Eat Away Calluses!” (FISH)


It’s the hot new trend in pedicures in the Washington D.C. area. John Ho, who runs the Yvonne Hair and Nails salon with his wife have customers soak their tootsies in a pool of water filled with small carp that nibble away calluses and dead skin! Customers say it feels kind of tingly like your foot’s going to sleep– and it works better than any traditional pedicure!

 

 

THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY

 

JOKE #1

A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacks them. The mother mouse yells, “BARK!” and the cat runs away.

“See?” says the mother mouse to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?”

 

JOKE #2

A girl was visiting her blonde friend and noticed she had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”

Whereupon the blonde responded, “What else you gonna name watch dogs?”

 

JOKE #3

Jean thought she had finally found a way to convince her harried friend Susan that she needed to find ways to relax. She invited Susan to dinner and, while she was busy cooking, Susan agreed to watch her videotape on stress management and relaxation techniques.  Fifteen minutes later, Susan came into the kitchen and handed Jean the tape.

“It was good,” she said, “but I don’t need it.”

“But it’s a 70-minute video,” Jean replied.  “You couldn’t have watched the whole thing.”

“Yes, I did,” Susan assured her.  “I put it on fast-forward.”

 

 

USELESS FACTS

Holding hands and kissing reduces levels of the stress hormone cortisol, lowering blood pressure and optimizing immune response.  ***MARLAR: For you, at least.  The person you force yourself on may not feel the same reaction.

 

An MIT scientist is videotaping 400,000 hours of footage of his son from birth to age 3, to document language development in babies.  ***MARLAR: You gotta feel sorry for this guy’s family, don’t ya?  You just KNOW he’s going to pull out the home movies when this kid has a birthday… all 133,000 hours of it from the past year.

 

In Bakersfield, California, a burglar was captured after he took time to order a pizza and do laundry while robbing a house.  ***MARLAR: I’m guessing he doesn’t fully understand the term “money laundering.”

 

 

FEATURED FUNNIES

SHOPLIFTER CAUGHT

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. “Listen,” said the shoplifter, “I know you don’t want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?”
The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, “This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?”

 

 

IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!

MOVIE RAGE

A phenomenon called “Movie Rage” is sweeping the nation. According to a poll of emergency rooms, more and more patients are going to the theater to see the latest flick and departing in an ambulance. “Movie Rage makes Road Rage look like child’s play,” says Dr. Jorge Gonzalez, an ER physician at Our Lady of Angles in The Outfield in San Diego. “I patched up a woman who was viciously stabbed with a nail file. She kept answering her cell phone during a movie. The lady sitting next to her went berserk.” The survey showed the behaviors most likely to result in assault with a deadly weapon are:

  • Talking
  • Crunching popcorn
  • Repeatedly sucking the last two dribbles of soda from a straw
  • Answering a cell phone
  • Rattling a plastic bag of candy
  • Tipping boxes of Raisinettes or SnoCaps so the contents slide back and forth
  • Blurting out the ending of the movie
  • Kicking the back of the person’s seat in front of you

***MARLAR: My bride and I went out Sunday to see a movie – and while the theatre was almost completely empty, we still had to suffer with people talking and one kid kicking the back of Robin’s chair. It was so distracting – I could hardly hear my mom on the other end of my cell phone!

 

 

INSPIRATIONAL INSPIRATION

LOVE IS WHAT MAKES LIFE GREAT

Maybe, GOD wants us to meet a few of the wrong people before meeting the right ones. So, when the right ones come along, we’ll know how to be grateful and thankful for the gift…

When one door of happiness closes, another opens. But often we stare so long at the closed door that… we’ll soon realize that the open door, for however long it was opened, is now closed too… There are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you could just pluck them from your dreams. And just hug him/her for REAL!

If someone loves you, love them back. If someone hurts you, love them back unconditionally. The irony is not that love hurts sometimes, it is the fact that the cut of each is felt equally as deep…

The best kind of friend is the one who could sit on a porch and swing with, and never say a word. Then get up and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had…

It’s true that we never know what we’ve got until we lose it. It’s also true that we never know what we’ve been missing until something or someone else arrives…

A careless word may kindle strife. The cruel word usually wrecks a life. Timely words help level stress… But it’s loving words that heal & bless…

The happiest of people doesn’t necessarily mean having the best of everything in life… Perhaps, they are just good at making the best of everything that life brings
along their way…

Tender moments aren’t really tender at all. They are some of the few times… when things like pride and gender are swallowed and we allow ourselves emotional, spiritual and physical happiness…

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. It’s even more painful to love someone and… never find the courage to let that person know just how it is u feel…

Never say goodbye if you still want to try. Never give up when there’s hope to go on. Never say you don’t love them… if you know that you are the one who can’t let go…

You’ve experienced TRUE LOVE if: you’ve taken away the FEELINGS, taken away PASSION and taken away ROMANCE… only to find out that after all that, YOU STILL CARE!!!!! This is DIVINE LOVE !

 

 

DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL

One of the most beautiful and familiar passages in the Bible is the 23rd Psalm. It brings healing, help, hope, and strength and encouragement to us when worries and burdens have caused our world to collapse. If the Lord is truly our Shepherd then He is responsible to meet all of our needs. We have no need to worry or fear, for Jesus is everything we need. Take a moment to read this Psalm if you haven’t read it in a while. For centuries nations of the world have adopted animal symbols as symbols of their strength, power, and independence. The U. S. has the eagle, Great Britain has the lion, and Russia has the bear. What has God chosen for the symbol for Himself to us? In His infinite power and glory, He chose to represent Himself as a shepherd, and we are His sheep. Just as the shepherd meets all the needs of his sheep, so God meets all of the needs of those of us who call upon Him as “My” shepherd. Did you know that a good shepherd can locate one sheep out of a flock of 2,500 in less than five minutes? He can identify exactly which sheep it is by the way it walks, stands, holds it head, bleats, makes a pattern in the grass, and even by its droppings. In other words, the shepherd has a personal relationship with every one of His sheep. This is what the Lord desires for all of us. I pray that you can say with certainty today that “the Lord is MY Shepherd” and you have that personal relationship with Christ. He will guide all your steps and meet all your needs. If you want to start that relationship, I encourage you right now to acknowledge your need for Him in your life and accept Him as Savior and Lord. Today is a new day ready for you to make a fresh start – with Jesus as YOUR Shepherd.

 

 

LEFTOVERS

GILLIGAN’S HELL

Quite a few years ago, CBS had a popular little series called GILLIGAN’S ISLAND. There is, however, a dark secret about this “comedy” you may never have realized.

…I used to watch the show every day in repeats during summer vacation as a kid… never missed an episode (I kept thinking, “Hey, maybe Gilligan would get OFF the island this time!”). Anyway, being the analytic logical sort that I am, I noticed something eerie about the show. I believe that the island is intended to be a direct representation of Hades (Hell). You know – that “eternal punishment” place? Don’t believe me? Think about it. Nobody on the island wants to be there, yet none are able to leave. Also… each one of the characters represents one of the 7 deadly sins:

  • Ginger represents LUST – she wears skimpy outfits, is obsessed with her looks, and is always acting seductively in order to get her way.
  • Mary Ann represents ENVY – she is jealous of Ginger’s beauty.
  • The Professor represents PRIDE – he is an annoying know-it-all and is always sure to show off his abilities at any opportunity. (Never mind the fact that he can make a radio out of a coconut but can’t fix a hole in a hole in a boat.)
  • Mr. Howell represents GREED – no explanation needed there.
  • Mrs. Howell represents SLOTH – she has never lifted a finger to help on any of their escape plans.
  • The Skipper represents two sins: GLUTTONY – again, no explanation needed and ANGER – he violently hits Gilligan on each and every show.

This leaves Gilligan. Gilligan is the person who put them on the island in the first place. He prevents them from leaving by foiling all of their escape plots. Also, it is HIS island (it bears his name)! Therefore, after years of research in front of the television, I’ve come to the conclusion that Gilligan must have been a representation of Satan. He even wore red in every episode! Okay, this is all a joke of course – but the argument could be made!

 

 

LIFE… LIVE IT

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930’s,40’s, 50’s,60’s and 70’s…

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors, or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.

As infants and children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts, or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread, and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren’t overweight because, WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s, X-boxes. No video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD’s, no surround-sound or CD’s, no cell phones.

WE HAD FRIENDS – but we went outside to find them, not online. In fact, we had no personal computers! No Internet or chat rooms.

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers, and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL! If YOU are one of them…CONGRATULATIONS!

 

 

JUST FOR FUN

X MARKS THE SPOT

A Magic Marker may soon become a standard surgical instrument!

Four years of college, at least six more for medical school and internships… you’d think that a surgeon would know what they’re doing… but “wrong site” surgeries are reportedly on the increase. That means that those surgeons that you are putting your lives in the hands of are increasingly operating on the wrong body parts of their patients! It’s become so bad, that health officials say marking a person’s body with a Magic Marker could become a regular part of preparing for surgery. “X” marks the spot in this case. Nancy Ridley, deputy commissioner of the Massachusetts Department of Public Health says there are six to eight such “wrong site” surgeries in her state each year. The National Joint Commission on Accreditation of Health Care Organizations says patients or their surgeons must mark the proper surgical site prior to going into the operating room. ***MARLAR: They earn hundreds of thousands of dollars every year, they continually go back to school to stay up-to-date on the latest technologies, but we have to mark with an “X” where the operations are going to be for them? Shouldn’t “where to cut in an operation” be something they learn in medical school?

 

 

FUN LIST

TACTICS FOR GETTING RID OF TELEMARKETERS. 

  • Are you from Seattle like the other slugs?
  • By all means, I want your light bulbs. Send me 500 cases. My psychiatrist, my parole officer and my
    bankruptcy lawyer don’t really mind if I buy some.
  • Did you know that there is no “e” on the end of the words “potato” and “Mafia”?
  • Do you like beets? You know I love beets. My mother got me started. Let me tell you about the time I went a week without them… Oh it was just awful. Are you still there? Good. Now the…
  • How do I know you truly are a handicapped veteran of the Spanish American War?
  • If I drive the 150 miles to hear your time-share condominium pitch, will you give me a tire pump to inflate my free six-man sport fishing boat? Or can I just use your mouth?
  • It is a felony is some states to make telephone calls without knowing the meaning of the word “driffle.” Please define it now.
  • The dinner hour is not set aside for sales, unless you have prior permission from the State Department of Suckers. Thank you and goodbye…
  • The State Tax Commission does require me to ask you for your official identification number as a Certified Public Fast Talker. That number please?

 

 

MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…

WHAT IS ART?


Have you ever looked at a piece of modern art and thought to yourself, “Man, that’s just junk! What were they thinking?!?” I sure have. And now we have a new hero!

His name is Keith Armstrong. Keith Armstrong is a lecturer from Nottingham, England, and he says he hates modern art. GO KEITH! But he, unlike the rest of us, decided to do something about it. He put an old piece of plywood in an exhibition and actually won a prize! He entered the contest as prank, and ended up winning!  He found a piece of scrap wood with grooves in from a cutting machine, painted it white and called it “Millennium Dawn” (surreal, eh?).  Experts at Nottingham University didn’t catch on to the joke and called it “an abstract sculptural piece of work”. Armstrong just said, “It’s ridiculous. I only did it as a joke and it took me two minutes to paint it.”  The university gallery’s Neil Bennison insisted, “It’s a reasonable piece of art.”  ***MARLAR: If that’s the case, I invite them to the “(JOCK SHOW) Art Gallery” where we have quite a selection next to the trash dumpster behind the radio station.

 

 

TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS!

(Mondays Only)

 

 

OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP

While the United States is becoming more secularized, Americans who embrace religion are keeping their faith. A Pew Research Center Survey finds that the 77 percent of American adults who identify with a faith group are staying engaged with their faith. According to a CBN report, the study found that, “Among the roughly three-quarters of U.S. adults who do claim a religion, there has been no discernible drop in most measures of religious commitment. Indeed, by some conventional measures, religiously affiliated Americans are, on average, even more devout than they were a few years ago.”

http://go.cbn.com/4244

 

‘Tis the frantic season of gift-giving, parties, recitals and travel. In response, here are 3 ideas to streamline your holidays from Family Life Today.

  1. Pare down your gift-giving.
  2. Prioritize.
  3. Plan ahead.

http://bit.ly/1WzL3iw

 

Does your child love to be a helper? Here are 4 ways to encourage his desire to serve from In Touch Ministries.

Encourage.

Engage.

Expect.

Enable.

http://ow.ly/TZx3v

 

 

FRIDAY THE 13TH PREP

FRIDAY THE 13TH STUFF

Do you have paraskedvidekatriaphobia? 

Better question… can you pronounce paraskedvidekatriaphobia better than I can?  Anyway, if you have paraskedvidekatriaphobia today is a nasty day for you.  Paraskedvidekatriaphobia is a fear of Friday the 13th.  It seems kind of silly to be afraid of an ordinary day, doesn’t it?  The 13th of the month is bound to land on a Friday every once in a while – but some people get so weirded out about it that they have to see a psychologist!  They don’t freak when the first day of the month lands on a Sunday – which is what is required in order to get a day like today… but no matter.  It’s the 13th day landing on a Friday, that’s the only thing they think about.  A lot of people really do think that Friday the 13th is unlucky, and they can’t face it without professional help.  Unfortunately, our society has many odd superstitions.  One athlete refuses to eat anything but chicken on game day.  Others are concerned about “lucky” numbers… avoiding stepping on certain lines on the field, or having the same seat on the bench all of the time.  But as Christians, one thing we should not suffer from is paraskedvidekatriaphobia, because superstitions should not have any hold or power over us.  It’s God that has the power over us, and He is truly all-powerful… nothing we do or believe can change that.  That includes luck… bad or good.  We need to be devoted to an all-powerful GOD… not an all-powerless superstition.

 

 

FRIDAY THE 13TH BAD LUCK According to superstition, it’s bad luck today to…

  • Begin a new job or a trip
  • Cut off both ends of a loaf of bread
  • Flip your mattress
  • Put new shoes on the table
  • Leave your hat on the bed
  • Walk under a ladder
  • Pour water on a windowsill
  • Plant potatoes
  • Lean a broom on a bed
  • Open an umbrella indoors
  • Do housework
  • Wear new clothes
  • Cut your hair
  • Sneeze to your left side
  • Have a black cat cross your path

 

Of course, I think all of that is complete nonsense.  Yet, while I’m not superstitious, there are a few other areas that I do feel there is bad luck in.  It’s bad luck to…

  1. Spit in the air while looking up.
  2. Run through a parking lot with your eyes closed.
  3. Climb on your roof when your pain pill is kicking in.
  4. Drive your car on the wrong side of the road.
  5. Discipline a gang of kids wearing matching bandanas.
  6. Talk about a bomb when walking to your plane terminal.
  7. Take a laxative before leaving on a road trip.
  8. Stick your finger in a fan while it’s on.
  9. Touch an electrical outlet when standing in water.

 

 

TODAY IS FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH – Can you guess what “13” we’re talking about?

“Houston, we’ve got a problem” (Apollo 13)

Not in a lot of buildings (13th floor)

USA (13 original colonies)

“Change water into wine” (13 people seated at “The Last Supper”)

Miami Dolphin quarterback (#13, Dan Marino)

“You’re Gonna Miss Me” (the 60’s hit by a band called Thirteenth Floor Elevators)

Amount of donuts (baker’s dozen, which is 13)

George Clooney (Ocean’s 13, the movie)

Jennifer Garner (the movie “Thirteen going on 30”)

Abolishment of slavery (The 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution)

 

 

SPEAKING OF THIRTEEN…

The Great Seal of The United States has:

13 levels of the truncated pyramid

13 letters in “E Pluribus Unum”, which appears in the banner running through the eagle’s beak on the right side of the bill’s reverse

13 letters in the phrase “Annuit Coeptis”, which appears over the pyramid on the left side of the bill’s reverse

13 stars above the Eagle

13 leaves on the olive branch

13 olives on the olive branch

13 arrows held by the Eagle

13 bars on the shield

 

BE AFRAID… BE VERY AFRAID You already know that people who fear closed-in places suffer from “claustrophobia,” but do you know what to call a fear of bald people? It’s “peladophobia.” Here’s a list of phobias, because the next time someone tells you their darkest fear, you may not be able to help him conquer it, but at least you’ll be able to tell them what it’s called.

Arachibutyrophobia – Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth and soaking up saliva.

Helminthophobia – Fear of getting worms.

Logophobia – Fear of words. Victims quake at the sight of books or even at listening to another person talk.

Eisoptrophobia – Fear of mirrors.

Erythrophobia – Fear of blushing. Some people live in terror of others seeing them with a red face. It starts a vicious cycle because the more self-conscious they become about it, the more they blush.

Pogonophobia – Fear of facial hair. Sufferers cringe at the sight of face stubble, and absolutely panic at seeing a full beard.

Lachanophobia – Fear of vegetables. Don’t talk to sufferers about eating spinach, green beans or broccoli, these people are terrified by the mere sight of the stuff.

Levophobia – Fear of objects to the left side of the body.

Dextrophobia – Fear of objects to the right side of the body.

Alektorophobia – Fear of fowl – in other words, being chicken of chickens.

Caligynephobia – Fear of beautiful women. It affects both men and women!

Clinophobia – Fear of going to bed. Sadly, folks with this fear often suffer from insomnia, which in turn promotes stress, making the condition worse.

Paraskidvikatriaphobia – Fear of Friday the 13th!

 

SOME LESS COMMONLY KNOWN PHOBIAS

Anananany: The inability to stop spelling ‘banana’ once you’ve started.

Anatidaephobia: The fear that wherever you are, a duck is watching!

Angoraphobia: The fear of soft sweaters and rabbits.

Friendorphobia: The fear of being asked “Who goes there?”

Friggaphobics: People who fear Fridays.

Genuphobia: The fear of knees.

Graphophobia: The fear of writing.

Heortophobia: The fear of holidays.

Iophobia: The fear of rust.

Katagelophobia: The fear of ridicule.

Lyssophobia: The fear of insanity.

Peniaphobia: The fear of poverty.

Phobaphobia: The fear of fear itself.

Phronemophobia: The fear of thinking.

Quadriphobia: The fear of 4-way stops and not knowing who goes next.

 

 

SUPERSTITIONS

Of course, as Christians we don’t believe (or shouldn’t believe) in any of this stuff… but it’s fun to take a look at some of the ridiculous things people believe in out of insecurity.  Here are a few common superstitions:

  • A rabbit’s foot brings good luck (try telling that to the rabbit!)
  • Step on a crack, break your mother’s back (I tried this once when I was grounded… it doesn’t work)
  • You can break a bad luck spell by turning seven times in a clockwise circle (sounds like you’d be more likely to break your arm by spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down!)
  • Garlic protects from evil spirits (Gee, and to think Jesus died for nothing…)
  • At the end of a rainbow is a pot of gold (and a little leprechaun that gets really possessive over his Lucky Charms!)
  • Clothes worn inside out will bring good luck (and laughter from your peers)
  • If you blow out all of the candles on your birthday cake with the first breath you will get whatever you wish for (Has that worked for ANYBODY?  I’m still waiting for the sports car in the driveway with a giant bow on it.)
  • To have a wish come true using a wishbone, two people make a wish, then take hold of each end of the bone and pull it until it separates. The person with the longer end gets his or her wish (my problem was that I always wished I’d be the winner of the wishbone breaking contest)
  • An itchy palm means money will come your way (either that or your personal hygiene needs some attention
  • A beginner will always have good luck: beginner’s luck (so if you have a new job, do your best to keep wearing that “trainee” name tag as long as possible!)
  • Eating fish makes you smart (fish heads, fish heads, rolly-polly fish heads…)
  • A cricket in the house brings good luck (and madness if it keeps you up all night with its chirping)
  • It is bad luck to sleep on a table (this is a big problem for people?)
  • A bird that comes in your window brings bad luck (and bird droppings all over the house)
  • If the bottom of your feet itch, you will make a trip (to the drugstore for athlete’s foot medicine)
  • Animals can talk at midnight on Christmas Eve (the only explanation for those Christmas TV specials like Rudolph)
  • A person cannot drown before going under three times (this is disturbing… somebody had to do a study to come to this conclusion – meaning that instead of saving the poor soul they were counting how many times they went under before they stayed under)
  • Washing a car will bring rain (this one is true, as I can’t remember even one time it didn’t rain after I washed my car.  Car washing also brings bird droppings!)

 

 

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT

“Adventure is worthwhile in itself.”  –Amelia Earhart

 

 

THE WAY WE WORK

(Updated as it comes available. The Way WE Work is written by Mark Elfstrand from 1160Hope.com in Chicago.)

TMI Can Kill You

The topic of this week’s blog is the essence of confidentiality. No. It’s not a new cologne. But there is a fresh fragrance when trust is kept and honored.
We in the media find getting a scoop to be a delicious morsel. News stations like to brag about being the first to bring a story to your attention. Writers treasure the opportunity to share insider information that only they have been privy to uncover. It’s all part of the larger game in business that we call competition.
Exclusivity is worth bucks as well. Over the weekend, my wife and I indulged in watching the movie Steve Jobs. In one sequence, a technology reporter is pursuing Steve for comments. He wants what we might call the prime sound bytes. Jobs and his marketing whiz refuse comment, but then go “off the record.” We know this to be the comments made that are not recorded, and intended to be kept private. Often they are not.
A different variation on this theme comes from sources who give out information that they are unauthorized to share. The tragic crash of the Russian jetliner had reporters scrambling to get answers on why it went down. Any source with some credibility will do.
In reading the Chicago Tribune story about the incident, I read this: “A U.S. satellite registered a ‘heat flash’ about the time that the plane crashed, a U.S. official said Tuesday, speaking on the condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to discuss the information publicly.”
This line about sources who wish to remain anonymous because they aren’t supposed to talk is quite common. But I don’t like it. I’ve been asked by a reporter to be quoted for a story he was writing. It was understood my name would carry attribution for what was said.
The disturbing element of the anonymous secret sharer is one of mislaid trust. People who are unauthorized to give out information can’t be trusted. They have violated an ethical code of silence. And when you do that, what other ethical transgressions might you be open to?
Mind you, I don’t consider it inappropriate to speak “off the record” if what you are sharing is to add context and is not damaging information. But one must be careful. If you are at all worried that this information can be traced to you, it’s best to avoid oversharing.
Whistleblowers are in a different category. Genuine concern over some form of illegal activity that results in harm to others may lead someone within an organization to report it. But consider, if the principle motivation is financial gain or delivered out of spite or payback, how noble is the whistleblower?
This issue comes home to roost in personal relationships as well. Many people delight in being privy to others’ situations that they, in turn, can share with friends or coworkers. This often leads to gossip — that “casual or unconstrained conversation about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.” Oh the joy of spreading others’ secrets!
Knowing this about the human condition leaves us untrusting. And it hurts our cause in building authentic relationships. Gaining someone’s trust is to be prized. Violating that trust can leave one crushed.
I’ve been involved in several small groups with men to build friendships. In those conversations, we share events from our personal lives. Being more private in nature, the spoken word came with a caveat: intended for this audience ONLY. We would jokingly refer to these sessions as being the “Pope’s Chambers.” Or applying the “cone of silence.”
People in leadership have a difficult time in being transparent with others. They know the damage that can be done from unguarded sharing. Without a very few friends who can be trusted, these same leaders risk isolation. That too is troublesome.
The Bible speaks to this in several ways. The book of Proverbs is a good place to start. Proverbs 11:13 reads, “A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.” (NLT) Proverbs 16:28 adds, “A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends.” (NLT) And then this warning from Proverbs 20:19: “Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.” (ESV)
One final word on this topic from Jesus. There are times when we must share what others would wish we keep to ourselves. It is a report of the Good News. In sending His disciples out, the Gospel of Matthew records these instructions: “So do not be afraid of people. Whatever is now covered up will be uncovered, and every secret will be made known. What I am telling you in the dark you must repeat in broad daylight, and what you have heard in private you must announce from the housetops.” (Matthew 10:26-27, GNT)
When it comes to sharing with others on any topic, know your boundaries.
TMI can kill you.
That’s The Way WE Work.

 

 

THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER

Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).

 

NOVEMBER 06, 2015…

 

Brooklyn—Saoirse Ronan plays a young woman in Ireland, who decides to go to New York City.  It is the 1950’s and not only does she find work, but some romance, too. Adapted from the book by Colm Toibin. Also in the cast is Jim Broadbent. “Brooklyn” is rated PG 13. No rating.

 

Miss You Already—Toni Collette discovers she has cancer and fights the disease with friend, Drew Barrymore.  What can they come up with as therapy?  Wild and wacky or sad? What do you think?  “Miss You Already” is rated PG 13. No rating.

 

The Peanuts Movie—In 3D animation and what more could you ask for?  It is your favorite comic strip characters by Charles M. Schultz, and with Snoopy and the doghouse, too.  Voices include Hadley Belle Miller (Lucy), Noah Schnapp (Charlie Brown) and AJ Teeco (Pig Pen.) “The Peanuts Movie” is rated PG. Enjoy.

 

Spectre—Daniel Craig is back as James Bond in this thriller with Christoph Waltz as the evil one. Bond goes around the globe again, and with beautiful women including Lila Seydoux and Monica Bellucci.  Although some are already choosing the next James Bond, I don’t think Daniel Craig will give up that easy .Always great stunts. I always thought, though, that Pierce Brosnan had a few Bond films left in him.  “Spectra” is rated R. Rating of 3 for fans.

 

Spotlight—This film is about uncovering the sex abuse scandal concerning the Catholic Church in Boston in the early part of the 21st century.  The Boston Globe got wind of what was happening and really dug into it. The Globe got the 2003 Pulitzer Prize for it’s reporting. Some of the stars are Mark Ruffalo, Rachel McAdams and Michael Keaton. “Spotlight” is rated R. Rating of 3 for fans of the stars.

 

Trumbo—Bryan Cranston takes on the role of writer Dalton Trumbo, who was Hollywood blacklisted in the 1940’s when it was alleged he was a communist. Trumbo fought this, but the blacklist remained. “Trumbo” is rated R. Rating of 2 for fans of the star.

 

NOVEMBER 13, 2015…

 

The 33 with Antonio Banderas as one of the Chilean miners trapped underground.

 

By The Sea with Angelina Jolie-Pitt and Brad Pitt is a commentary on married life with problems.

 

Love The Coopers stars Diane Keaton in a comedy about a family gathering at Christmas.

 

Shelter has Jennifer Connelly in a drama about being homeless. Directed by her husband, Paul Bettany.

 

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