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PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION: 20151115
WELCOME TO THE SHOW!
Young people have it too easy these days. I had to fight and claw my way to mediocrity.
BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY
“I will never leave you or forsake you.” –Hebrews 13:5
young men and women,
old men and children.
Let them praise the name of the Lord,
for his name alone is exalted;
his splendor is above the earth and the heavens.
HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT
Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit. — 1 Peter 3:18
Thought: Having stood over the open graves of friends, family, and strangers, I know the appearance and feel of death’s finality and our human frailty. But Christ’s death is that great reminder that death is a matter of perspective and faith. I believe God raised Jesus from the dead and that Jesus is the first fruits of those of us who believe in him. He is alive, not just in Spirit, but in bodily form. Because Jesus lives, so will we!
Prayer: Almighty God, thank you for the gifts of your grace, Spirit, forgiveness and life. Most of all, thanks for the gift of your Son, who brought life and immortality to life in me through your salvation. While I have no great desire to die, I know I can look through death to you and your victory in me through Jesus. Please give me the courage to live for you every day until that day you take me home. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
“BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY
The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!
Revelation 11:15 NIV = The seventh angel sounded his trumpet, and there were loud voices in heaven, which said: “The kingdom of the world has become the kingdom of our Lord and of his Christ, and he will reign for ever and ever.”
TODAY IS SUNDAY – NOVEMBER 15, 2015
(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 40 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.
Today is NATIONAL SING IN YOUR CAR DAY.
Today is RECORD YOUR CAT PURRING DAY, so you can play the tape on his birthday after he’s gone. ***MARLAR: Well, that’s morbid.
Today is I LOVE TO WRITE DAY, a great day to write something, a poem, a short story, a letter to the editor. ***MARLAR: Or an obituary for your cat.
Today is AMERICA RECYCLES DAY, and NATIONAL CLEAN OUT YOUR REFRIGERATOR DAY. ***MARLAR: Just as long as they don’t expect me to recycle what’s in my refrigerator – that could be a health hazard.
Today is NATIONAL FAST FOOD DAY. ***MARLAR: Do your part to save the fast food industry today. Did you know that with your small donation of just under $10.00 in the McDonald’s drive-thru, you can feed a hungry disc jockey for an entire air shift? Will you let the hunger go on? Do your part… drive-thru today, and drop off your donation at a radio station near you. One small act of kindness can make a huge difference.
TODAY IS ALSO. . .
America Recycles Day
George Spelvin Day or More Than One Role Day
I Love to Write Day
National Bundt Day
National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day
COMING UP NEXT
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 16
International Day for Tolerance
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 17
Homemade Bread Day
National Entrepreneurship Day
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 18
GIS Day (Geographic Information Systems)
Married To a Scorpio Support Day
Mickey Mouse Day
National Educational Support Professionals Day
Push-Button Phone Day
THURSDAY NOVEMBER 19
Have a Bad Day Day
Rocky and Bullwinkle Day
World Philosophy Day
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 20
African Industrialization Day
Name Your PC Day
Universal Children’s Day
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 21
Family Volunteer Day
National Day of Play
Playmobil’s National Day of Play
World Hello Day
World Television Day
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 22
Humane Society Anniversary Day
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 23
Doctor Who Day
International Image Consultant Day
ON THIS DAY
1956: The movie Love Me Tender starring Elvis Presley opened in New York.
1965: The Rolling Stones did “Get Off My Cloud” on NBC-TV’s “Hullabaloo.”
1969: Merle Haggard’s “Okie from Muskogee” hit #1 on the country music charts. Merle and his band wrote the song in 20 minutes aboard their tour bus after seeing a roadsign that said, “Muskogee 19 miles.”
1990: Producer Frank Farian admitted that Fabrice Morvan and Rob Pilatus never sang a note on the Milli Vanilli album. The duo eventually returned their Best New Artist Grammy. ***MARLAR: Yet they still sounded better than anything recorded by Miley Cyrus.
1992: Richard Petty drove in the final auto race of his 35-year career.
1995: A truck accident near Muncie, Indiana, spilled onto the highway 22 tons of turkey legs.
2002: A four-ton elephant named Tina cut through the drive-through line at a McDonald’s in Cape Coral, Florida. Tina happily swallowed 10 veggie burgers that she grabbed from workers by sticking her snout through the drive-through window. The stunt was a promotion for a visiting circus. ***MARLAR: Wait a minute, I thought you weren’t allowed to walk-up in the drive-thru!
2003: Mourners at a funeral chapel in Belgium were gathered around the coffin of their loved one when a cell phone started ringing inside the casket. Relatives filed a complaint against the undertaker, charging he could not have prepared their relative’s body properly if he left a phone inside his pocket.
2003: Democrat Kathleen Blanco was elected the first female governor of Louisiana, defeating Republican Bobby Jindal in a runoff vote.
2005: The town council voted in Clark, Texas, north of Dallas-Fort Worth, to change the community’s name to DISH. In return the town would get 56 satellite dishes – one for each home and another for town hall – as EchoStar Communications hooked up every home in DISH to the Dish Network satellite TV system, worth an estimated $4,500 each. The deal would last ten years.
2005: In Amiens, France, Isabelle Dinoire became the first person to undergo a partial face transplant. She had been attacked by a dog earlier in the year.
2007: A Florida woman played her piano into the Guinness World Record book, by tickling the ivories 65 hours straight. Pat Jones of Jacksonville said her audience dwindled during the early mornings. “Between 2 a.m. and 5 a.m.”.she said, “was just awful!” ***MARLAR: Even worse, the only song she knew how to play was “Chopsticks.”
TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY
1626: The original Mayflower “pilgrims” (Separatists), having lived in their American colony for six years, bought out their London investors for 1,800 pounds.
1760: Anglican hymnwriter John Newton wrote in a letter: ‘Our love to Him is the proof and measure of what we know of His love to us.’
1804: Anglican missionary to Persia, Henry Martyn wrote in his journal: ‘Corruption always begins the day, but morning prayer never fails to set my mind in a right frame.’
1839: Scottish clergyman Robert Murray McCheyne wrote in a letter: ‘I know well that when Christ is nearest, Satan also is busiest.’
1957: Patriarch Ignatius Yacoub III officially established the Archdiocese of the Syrian Orthodox Church in the U.S. and Canada. At the same time, Archbishop Mar Athanasius Yeshue Samuel, former Syrian Orthodox metropolitan of Jerusalem, was appointed primate of the new archdiocese, and soon after took up residence in Hackensack, New Jersey.
HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS
- actor (Assistant D.A. Jack McCoy on “Law & Order”) Sam Waterston 75
- actor (“The Mary Tyler Moore Show”, Santa in Elf, “Studio 60”, Up) Ed Asner is 86
(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)
1905 : Mantovani
1928 : C.W. McCall
1929 : Joe Hinton
1932 : Petula Clark
1932 : Clyde McPhatter
1937 : Little Willie John
1941 : Rick Kemp (Steeleye Span)
1945 : Frida (ABBA)
1946 : Janet Lennon (The Lennon Sisters)
1949 : Steve Fossen (Heart)
1952 : Michael Cooper (Con Funk Shun)
1953 : Alexander O’Neal
1954 : Tony Thompson (Chic )
1957 : Joe Leeway (Thompson Twins)
SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE
WHO SENT THE FIRST EMAIL?
Email has been a lifeline of communication for us since the early 90s – but who sent the first email? I’ve got the answer for you – and it was LOT earlier than the 1990s!
Sent by computer engineer Ray Tomlinson in 1971, the email was simply a test message to himself. It was sent from one computer to another computer sitting right beside it in Cambridge, Massachusetts, but it traveled via ARPANET, a network of computers that was the precursor to the Internet. Tomlinson had been fooling around with two programs called SNDMSG and READMAIL, which allowed users to leave messages for one another on the same machine. He applied the idea behind these programs to a third program called CYPNET, which allowed users to send and receive
files between computers. Despite his groundbreaking success with email, Tomlinson is better known for introducing the “@” sign as the locator in email addresses.
CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS
Do you like the Christian Artist News you see below? It’s just a tiny sample of the 5-6 pages of material you could be receive every weekday… and it’s FREE! Become one of their subscribers at ChristianRadioShowPrepServices.com!
Another groaner from Citizen Way: Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
Jodi, from Love and the Outcome, says bus mates share everything. She is on the Winterjam tour and headed out for coffee wearing one of Jamie Grace’s hoodies.
The members of the band Among The Thirsty shared a picture as they wrapped up another tour this week. Band members noted: We have been touring for 10 years now and the past 6 weeks have probably been the best of our career. Although, we are sad it’s over, we are looking forward to some time with our families and babies. Thanks for all your support and we’ll see you on the road soon!
Audio Adrenaline was preparing this week for the overseas portion of their tour. The band will be playing in Kenya and shared pictures as they got ready for the trip by bringing their shots up to date. It didn’t look like the guys in the band were enjoying the experience.
Comedian Bob Smiley tweeted this week: Today’s that day I dread every year as a dad…my kid’s Halloween bags only have Almond Joys left in them.
ODD & STRANGE NEWS…
(THIS WILL BE CHANGING SOON DUE TO MYNEWS SHUTTING DOWN. I WILL LOOK TO FIND MATERIAL ELSEWHERE, BUT LETTING YOU KNOW THAT THIS WILL LOOK DIFFERENT SOON.)
|Official seeks $123,000 after university mascot jumps on him photo
PHOENIX (AP) — A suburban Phoenix official filed a claim against Arizona State University, saying the school mascot seriously injured his back when the costumed character playfully leaped on him at a football game two months after surgery. But Tempe City Councilman David Schapira said…
|Lamb on the lam for hours after Nevada crash to be adopted photo
LAS VEGAS (AP) — A lamb that was on the lam for hours after a tractor-trailer crash in Nevada killed 74 other sheep has been caught and will be adopted by a foster family. The female lamb nicknamed Dodger wandered off from the crash site and was missing in the desert overnight before being…
|NYC police: Notorious subway joy-rider steals Greyhound bus
NEW YORK (AP) — Police say a man with a long history of pretending to be a transit worker and commandeering New York City subway trains for joy rides has been arrested after stealing a Greyhound bus. Police say Darius McCollum was arrested Wednesday by officers who spotted the bus in…
|Deer makes surprise visit to Michigan collision repair shop photo
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. (AP) — A collision repair shop in western Michigan that fixes cars after crashes involving deer got a surprise visitor from one of the animals. Star Collision CARSTAR general manager Terry VandenToorn tells The Grand Rapids Press that the buck was spotted running down the…
|Indonesia uses trained elephants to control forest fires photo
SIAK, Indonesia (AP) — Forest fires difficult to control? Call in the pachyderm patrol. Officials in Indonesia are using trained elephants outfitted with water pumps and hoses to help control fires that have claimed vast amounts of forest while sending thick haze into neighboring countries….
|Woman admits she stole cop car, sped off while handcuffed
BEAVER, Pa. (AP) — A western Pennsylvania woman has admitted she stole a police cruiser and led police officers on an 80 mph chase — all while her hands were cuffed behind her. Twenty-eight-year-old Roxanne Rimer, of Chippewa Township, also pleaded guilty Tuesday in Beaver County Court…
|Police find woman hiding, and now she’s really in doghouse
FRANKFORT, Ky. (AP) — A Kentucky woman faces charges after authorities say they found her hiding in an empty doghouse after a dangerous pursuit. Frankfort police tell local media that 28-year-old Myranda Skinner and 36-year-old Bryan Wells led officers on a chase Monday morning after an…
|Bubble yuck: Crews unstick old gum from famed Seattle wall photo
SEATTLE (AP) — A piece of Seattle history is coming down — or rather, 1 million little pieces. Crews are cleaning up the city’s famed “gum wall” near Pike Place Market, where tourists and locals have been sticking their used chewing gum for the past 20 years. The wall is plastered with…
|AP PHOTOS: Seattle’s famed ‘gum wall’ gets a fresh start photo
SEATTLE (AP) — Crews have begun cleaning up Seattle’s famed “gum wall” near Pike Place Market, where tourists and locals have been sticking their used chewing gum for the past 20 years. Here’s a snapshot of the attraction: WHAT’S THE STORY BEHIND IT? People first began sticking gum to the…
|A big splash! New Hampshire waterpark owner chained to tower
CANDIA, N.H. (AP) — The owner of a New Hampshire waterpark facing foreclosure chained himself to the top of a slide tower and is hoping for a financial miracle. In postings on his Facebook page, Kevin Dumont said he’s not looking for a handout, just a person or group of people to work with…
|Playboy settles model’s California golf-injury lawsuit
LOS ANGELES (AP) — Playboy Enterprises has settled a lawsuit by a model who claimed she was hurt when an employee whacked her in the buttocks with a golf club during a Southern California event. According to City News Service, Elizabeth Dickson’s attorney told a judge on Monday that the case…
HEALTH & FITNESS NEWS…
(THIS WILL BE CHANGING SOON DUE TO MYNEWS SHUTTING DOWN. I WILL LOOK TO FIND MATERIAL ELSEWHERE, BUT LETTING YOU KNOW THAT THIS WILL LOOK DIFFERENT SOON.)
|Obesity still rising among US adults, women overtake men photo
NEW YORK (AP) — Obesity is still rising among American adults, despite more than a decade of public-awareness campaigns and other efforts to get people to watch their weight, and women have now overtaken men in the obese category, new government research shows. For the past several years,…
|Drug might help breast cancer patients avoid heart damage photo
ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) — Many cancer treatments have a dark side — they can damage the heart. New research suggests this risk might be lowered in women with breast tumors if they take a heart drug as a preventive measure during their cancer care. If confirmed in wider testing, this could…
|China’s gray smog has a blue lining: Air improves this year photo
BEIJING (AP) — Lawyer Wu Congsi has asthma and keeps air purifiers whirring away in his office, home and car to counter Beijing’s hazardous smog. He prefers to stay inside unless the sky is blue. But this year, he’s been able to regularly walk the 15 minutes or so to work. That’s because of…
|Hospital releases nurse who suffered Ebola complication
LONDON (AP) — London’s Royal Free Hospital says it has discharged Scottish nurse Pauline Cafferkey, who was hospitalized last month after suffering from a rare relapse of Ebola. Cafferkey was treated for meningitis that developed as a result of lingering Ebola in her system. Now free from…
|German transport agency is testing emissions on 23 brands photo
BERLIN (AP) — Germany’s Federal Motor Transport Authority says it’s testing the emissions of vehicles made by 23 foreign and domestic brands following revelations that Volkswagen installed software on some 11 million vehicles allowing them to fake emissions results. The agency said Wednesday…
|Express Scripts sues Horizon, fight over prescriptions grows photo
The drugmaker Horizon Pharma is questioning its relationship with an Express Scripts business after the pharmacy benefits giant sued Horizon for about $140 million and dumped a pharmacy that dispenses its drugs. Shares of Horizon Pharma Plc plunged Wednesday after it said it will re-evaluate its…
|India sees clean cooking as climate action that saves lives photo
GANORA SHEIKH VILLAGE, India (AP) — Kamlesh feeds the flames of a crude clay cookstove with kindling, kerosene and sunbaked discs of cow dung. She breathes in the billowing smoke, as she does for hours every day. Her eyes water and sting. Her throat feels scratchy and sore. Kamlesh is one of…
|Customers head to Chipotle as outlets reopen in Northwest photo
SEATTLE (AP) — Customers returned to Pacific Northwest Chipotle restaurants on Wednesday as the chain reopened after an E. coli outbreak that sickened about 45 people in Washington state and Oregon. Matt Gilham, 34, said he wasn’t particularly concerned about the health scare connected to 11…
|Vietnam veterans’ bond strengthened by kidney donation photo
NEW YORK (AP) — Serving together in Vietnam, John Middaugh and Henry “Bill” Warner forged an Army-brothers bond they knew was profound and lasting. A world and nearly a half a century away from the war zone where they’d counted on each other, Middaugh put himself on the line for Warner this…
|Renzi plans to invest $1.6B for health research over decade photo
MILAN (AP) — Italian Premier Matteo Renzi is proposing a research center focused on improving human health at the former site of Expo 2015. Renzi said Tuesday that the government is prepared to invest 150 million euros ($160 million) a year over the next decade to spark the creation of a…
|FDA clears first new tobacco products under federal pathway
WASHINGTON (AP) — The Food and Drug Administration has cleared the first new tobacco products for the U.S. market, under a system authorized more than 5 years ago. The agency on Tuesday cleared the sale of eight varieties of snus, or teabag-like pouches of loose tobacco, from Swedish Match….
(None on the weekends)
NEW NEWS KICKERS…
NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Artificial Lemons”
DAILY COMEDY CLIP
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Johnny Roberts, “Million Dollars”
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MONDAY’S EPISODE
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, Marvy Snuffleson has been sent to his room for not playing with the new kid in the neighborhood – but then his bed was washed up on the sea and he’s now ashore a beautiful jungle island… and he’s already met the Beach Birds, and now he’s face to face with big 15ft hairy creatures – except for the shorter ones!
CLOSE: Well, at least we know who the creatures are now… they’re Razzleflabbins! But will Marvy be stuck on Razzleflabbin Island forever? Tune in again next time for more of our story – As the Jungle Turns!
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF NOVEMBER 14/15
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! When last we left the jungle island of Razzleflabbin, Katie Snuffleson has boarded the cloud tram and was off on her way to Candyland – despite the warnings from Olaf and Karl that it could be dangerous if she eats too much candy – as she might fall from the sky! But Katie doesn’t seem all that concerned… at least not yet.
CLOSE: Oh boy – too much candy has made Katie too heavy for the clouds to support her any longer! Karl and Olaf warned her this could happen – but did she listen? No. Will Katie survive? Find out next time, As the Jungle Turns!
***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of As the Jungle Turns in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us.
MOMENT OF DUH
We’ve found perhaps the dumbest scientist in the world.
…That would be Beine Karzhaubaeva from Kazakhstan who held a press conference and announced he has cured AIDS by injecting people with perfume! And he added, “It has to be an expensive perfume.” Of course doctors everywhere have condemned the treatment including Dr. Kozhahmet Mahirov, the head of Kazakhstan’s Center Against AIDS who said, “It is illegal. Injecting perfume in the blood could harm not only HIV patients, but also any healthy person.” Just in case you’re not perfectly clear on this — perfume DOES NOT cure AIDS and injecting it into your body is not only dangerous — it is potentially fatal. Don’t do it!
TOP TEN “ARE YOU A CAFFEINE ADDICT” QUESTIONS
- Do you use coffee to escape from your problems?
- Do you eat spoonfuls of instant coffee because it’s easier?
- Have you ever drank someone coffee when they weren’t looking?
- Do you find that it’s easier to drink more coffee than go to sleep?
- a) Have you ever drunk cold coffee? b) Right out of the pot?
- Do you spend more than 20% of your income on coffee and/or coffee related products?
- Does your coffee cup resemble a beer stein?
- Has anyone ever told you that you “have a problem”?
- Do you need coffee: a) …to get up in the morning? b) …to get out of bed? c) …to be injected intravenously to stimulate blood-flow?
- Do you own a “Coffee Helmet”? (For the culturally ignorant, a coffee- helmet is a hat with coffee-cups attached to it and a straw coming out of each cup leading to the mouth, used for hands-free drinking.)
THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER
Police nab a man who likes to break into cars… but they caught him in a very unusual way!
FILE #1: Nathaniel Lucas had been breaking into cars recently at the county ballpark, hitting at least four cars in the previous week. So Blair County police decided to send a police surveillance crew to the parking lot to keep an eye on things. This is not a small parking lot and out of all the cars in the lot, which one would Nathan choose to try to break into? The one with two police officers inside, of course. He’s been arrested.
FILE #2: You can’t be too careful, especially when you’re ripping off a home. Police in Beaufort, South Carolina, report a man who broke into a house was wearing two disguises. The suspect got away with a woman’s purse and some other things. He was chased by the victim’s son, who tore a white sheet off the bandit’s head. But the Beaufort Gazette reports the bad guy was wearing a “Scream” mask under the sheet. Beaufort Police Major Matt Clancy says the whole thing is “definitively unusual.”
FILE #3: A gang of armed robbers left a Belgian bowling hall empty-handed after they were ignored by both staff and customers. The three masked men showed their rifles and loudly demanded money from the till. But the bowling hall was packed with around 100 people and everybody ignored them. One bowling alley employee said, “We were so busy, we had really no time to find out what they wanted. It was only after they left and one visitor asked us why they were wearing weapons, we realized they were robbers.”
STRANGE LAW: All lollipops are banned in Washington state.
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS
Looks like we have a new meaning to the term “hot pants”!
LaFayette Georgia’s Daniel Gabriel Doyle recently brought new meaning to the term. When three social workers came to visit, Doyle had been busy mixing red phosphorus and iodine to make methamphetamines. He quickly poured the chemicals in a film canister and stuck it in his pocket. As Doyle sat in the social workers’ car filling out paperwork, the reaction of the two chemicals heated up to about 278 degrees Fahrenheit. At that point there was a loud bang – and fire shot from his pocket. The fire damaged the inside of the vehicle and burned clothing on the case workers. No word on what damage it did to Doyle.
How old is the oldest food in your refrigerator?
BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!
QUESTION: Who was crucified on both sides of Jesus?
ANSWER: Two robbers. (Matthew 27:38)
QUESTION: How many days did each month have in the Babylonian calendar?
QUESTION: How many times per minute does a blue whale’s heart beat?
ANSWER: Nine times per minute.
TRUE OR FALSE
Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!
- The Great Pyramid of Giza contains well over 2 million blocks of stone. (True – some weighing as much as 15 tons.)
- Gray whales migrate 12,000 miles each year. (True – farther than any other mammal.)
- Luke’s uncle is the first character to speak in Star Wars. (False – it’s C3PO)
- Captain Jean-Luc Picard from “Star Trek: The Next Generation” had a fish named Kirk. (False – it’s name was Livingston.)
- Donald Duck lives at 1313 Webfoot Walk, Duckburg. (True – according to Disney, that is. Duckburg, Calisota to be precise.)
- Donald Duck’s middle name is Fauntleroy. (True)
- Elvis Presley made his first appearance on national television in 1956. He sang “Blue Suede Shoes” and “Love Me Tender” on “The Dorsey Brothers Show.” (False – he sang “Blue Suede Shoes” and “Heartbreak Hotel.”)
- “Happy Birthday” was the first song to be performed in outer space. (True – sung by the Apollo IX astronauts on March 8, 1969.)
- In 1915, the average annual family income in the United States was only $687 a year. (True)
- In 1977, less than 9 percent of physicians in the U.S. were women. (True)
TABLOID MATCH GAME
You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!
CANADIAN ________ MONSTER SPOTTED (LOCH NESS)
LAKE OKANAGA, BC – There was a major sighting of Canada’s version of the Loch Ness Monster in British Columbia!
Hundreds of visitors to British Colombia’s Lake Okanagan saw the elusive sea monster, known to locals as Ogopogo. One man took a 30-second video (below) showing two long ripples in the water in a deserted area of the lake.
“It was not going with the waves,” Richard Huls, who captured the scene on camera during a visit to a local winery. “It was not a wave, obviously, just a darker color. The size and the fact that they were not parallel with the waves made me think it had to be something else.”
THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY
The policeman demanded, “How long have you been driving without a tail light, buddy?”
The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car, and gave a low moan. His distress was so great that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit. “Aw, come now,” he said, “you don’t have to take it so hard. It isn’t that serious.”
“It isn’t?” cried the motorist. “Then what happened to my boat and trailer?”
Bill was taking a flight to New York. He boards the plane, finds his seat and settles in, but does not fasten his seatbelt.
The flight attendant comes down the aisle and see Bill’s unfastened seatbelt and says, “Sir, you need to fasten your seatbelt for takeoff.”
Macho Bill says, “Not necessary to do that, Superman doesn’t need a seatbelt.”
“Superman,” the flight attendant said, “doesn’t need an airplane either.”
An old man called Mount Sinai Hospital. He said, “Hello, I’d like to talk with the person who gives the information regarding your patients. But, I don’t want to know if the patient is getting better, or doing like expected, or worse. I want to know all the information from top to bottom, from A to Z!”
“That’s a very unusual request,” said the man at the hospital. “What is the patient’s name and room number?”
The old man said, “Yes, I’d like to know the information about Simon Finkel, in Room 302.’”
“Finkel, Finkel. Let me see. Feinberg, Farber, Finkel. Oh, yes. Mr. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, he’s had two full meals, his blood pressure is fine, his blood work just came back as normal, he’s going to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and if he continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send him home Tuesday at twelve o’clock.”
The old man said, “Thank Goodness! That’s wonderful! Oh, thank goodness! His test came back normal, his getting off the heart machine in a couple of hours you say? Oh! that’s fantastic! And he is being released tomorrow at twelve o’clock! I’m so happy to hear that! That’s wonderful news!”
The man on the phone at the hospital said, “From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be a close family member or a very close friend?”
He said, “What close family or friend? I’m Simon Finkel in 302! Cohen is my doctor and he doesn’t tell me a cotton-pickin’ thing!”
Researchers say little is known about the origin of laughter and what it is that makes people laugh. ***MARLAR: Hey, don’t ask me – after listening to my show you really think I have the answer to that?
19% of meals in America are consumed in vehicles. ***MARLAR: Which results in 19% of the meal ending up on the floorboard.
WILL SHE SAY YES?
An extremely wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating a proposal. “Do you think she’d marry me if I tell her I’m 45?” he asked a friend.
“Your chances are better,” said the friend, “if you tell her you’re 90.”
IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!
Nobody ever thinks much about Greenland. But people live there. And people commit crimes there. And people go to prison there. But it’s a very different prison system than anywhere else in the world.
…In Greenland, prisoners all have jobs on the outside at market wages and enjoy recreational excursions such as fishing, hunting and shopping trips. They emphasize rehabilitation over punishment and guards are only armed on weekend hunting trips, when the inmates themselves are armed as well. The main advantage of the system seems to be that court sessions are brief, because criminals, not fearing prison, usually confess to everything. On the other hand, Greenland’s rate of returning to the jail after being released isn’t any better than other prisons.
WIT’S END CORNER
Are you standing at “Wits End Corner”,
Christian, with troubled brow?
Are you thinking of what is before you,
And all your bearing now?
Does all the world seem against you,
And you in the battle alone?
Remember-at “Wits End Corner,”
Is just where God’s power is shown.
Are you standing at “Wits End Corner”,
Blinded with wearing pain,
Feeling you can not endure it,
You cannot bear the strain,
Bruised through the constant suffering,
Dizzy, and dazed, and numb?
Remember at “Wits End Corner”
Is where Jesus loves to come.
Are you standing at “Wits End Corner”,
Your work before you spread,
All lying begun, unfinished,
And pressing on heart and head,
Longing for strength to do it,
Stretching out trembling hands?
Remember – at “Wits End Corner,
The burden bearer stands.
Are you standing at “Wits End Corner?
Then you’re just in the very spot,
To learn the wondrous resources
Of Him who faileth not:
No doubt to a brighter pathway
Your footsteps will soon be moved,
But only at “Wits End Corner”
Is the “God who is able” proved.
– Antoinette Wilson
DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL
HEARING GOD’S VOICE
Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord: The word of the Lord had not yet been revealed to him. – (1 Samuel 3:7)
Samuel was born to Hannah, a woman who had a deep commitment to God. She was barren, but she cried out to God for a son. The Lord gave her Samuel, whom she completely gave to the Lord for His service. After weaning him, she took him to the house of the Lord to be reared by the priests. Eli was the priest of Israel, but he was not a godly leader. He had allowed much corruption, including the sins of his sons, in God’s house. God was not pleased with Eli and later judged him and his household.
Samuel grew up in the temple serving God. He also grew up seeing the hypocrisy of Eli’s household, yet this did not change the young man. God was with him. We learn that even though young Samuel had a belief in God, he had not yet experienced a personal relationship with Him. God called to Samuel three times, but Samuel thought it was Eli, the priest, calling him. Finally, Eli told him to say, “Speak Lord, for your servant is listening” (1 Sam. 3:9b). This is what Samuel did, and God began telling Samuel important things to come.
Many of us grow up in religious environments. We go to church every week. We have a head knowledge of God, but we do not recognize God’s voice in our lives. There comes a time when we must recognize God’s voice for ourselves. God does not want us to have a religion; He wants us to have a two-way relationship with Him. Samuel was never the same after this encounter. He would know God’s voice and would respond to Him in obedience.
Do you know God’s voice? Can you recognize it when He speaks? In order to hear God’s voice, you must be clean before Him and listen. Listen to God’s voice today and follow His plans for you.
AND PAID FOR WITH WOODEN NICKELS
Ever heard of an entire air base made of wood? It’s a true tale that’s been told for years.
An enemy decoy, built in occupied Holland, led to a tale that has been told and retold ever since by veteran Allied pilots. The German “airfield,” constructed with meticulous care, was made almost entirely of wood. There were wooden hangars, oil tanks, gun emplacements, trucks, and aircraft. The Germans took so long in building their wooden decoy that allied photo experts had more than enough time to observe and report it. The day finally came when the decoy was finished, down to the last wooden plank. And early the following morning, a lone RAF plane crossed the Channel, came in low, circled the field once, and dropped a large… wooden bomb.
LIFE… LIVE IT
Researchers have a new theory about why some people may pack on pounds and others may not. Exercise and nutrition aside, could the amount of light in your bedroom be making you fat?
Diane Mapes of MSNBC reports on a fascinating new study from Ohio State University. According to the research, too much light in your bedroom could be to blame for your weight gain. In a study of mice, researchers found that mice who were exposed to light at night (the human equivalent could be a TV on in the distance, a lamp near your bed, or just bright street lights) gained more weight than the rodents who slept in the dark. While both groups of mice ate the same amount of calories in a day, the light-at-night group tended to munch during their restful periods, which led to more weight gain. ***MARLAR: But then, these are mice. Aren’t they always eating?
JUST FOR FUN
NYUK, NYUK, NYUK
A man gets in trouble because of the Three Stooges!
It looks like Gary Saderup has been done in by the Three Stooges. Gary is an artist who recently did a charcoal drawing of the Three Stooges and then reproduced the image on T-shirts and made a killing. Unfortunately, he did not get the permission of the people that own the rights to the Three Stooges – the heirs of Larry, Mo, and Curly. So he was taken to court, and the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the money Mr. Saderup made (about $75,000) has to go to the heirs. He has to pay $150,000 in attorney’s fees and court costs. ***MARLAR: And he’s been sentenced to three pokes to the eyes, a slap to the face, and a 2X4 to the back of the head. (
Things Not To Say To Your Pregnant Wife
- “Not to imply anything, but I don’t think the kid weighs 40 pounds.”
- “Y’know, looking at her, you’d never guess that Jessica Alba had a baby!”
- “I sure hope your thighs aren’t gonna stay that flabby forever!”
- “Darned if you ain’t about 5 pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella.”
- “Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to John Goodman!”
- “I’m jealous! Why can’t men experience the joy of childbirth?”
- “Are your ankles supposed to look like that?”
- “I finished the Oreos.”
MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words.
Clinophobia is the fear of beds.
Paedophobia is a fear of children.
Automatonophobia is a fear of ventriloquist’s dummies, animatronic creatures, wax statues or anything that falsely represents a sentient being.
Hypnophobiais a morbid fear of sleep and falling asleep.
Lyssophobia is a morbid fear of insanity.
Phobatrivaphobia is a fear of trivia about phobias
Still in Character – Janet Leigh, the actress, has a fear of showers. This is the result of appearing in the film, ‘Psycho’, in which her character met a violent death in the shower.
Dromophobia is a fear of crossing the road
Unatractiphobia is a fear of ugly people.
Arachibutyrophobia is a fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
Elizabeth I of England suffered from anthophobia, a fear of roses.
OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP
An 8 year old boy recently did something unique with the $20 he found in a parking lot. Miles says he originally thought about spending the money on a video game. But then he saw a soldier, Lt. Colonial Frank Daily, in the restaurant. Miles own father had been killed while serving overseas. So he instead gave the 20-dollar bill to the Lt. Daily along with an note telling his story. Miles says he wanted to honor Frank for his service to our country. And Frank says he has already passed on the $20 along to others and is using the note to also encourage those he meets to pay it forward as well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FCxuVSkT7k
While the United States is becoming more secularized, Americans who embrace religion are keeping their faith. A Pew Research Center Survey finds that the 77 percent of American adults who identify with a faith group are staying engaged with their faith. According to a CBN report, the study found that, “Among the roughly three-quarters of U.S. adults who do claim a religion, there has been no discernible drop in most measures of religious commitment. Indeed, by some conventional measures, religiously affiliated Americans are, on average, even more devout than they were a few years ago.”
‘Tis the frantic season of gift-giving, parties, recitals and travel. In response, here are 3 ideas to streamline your holidays from Family Life Today.
- Pare down your gift-giving.
- Plan ahead.
Does your child love to be a helper? Here are 4 ways to encourage his desire to serve from In Touch Ministries.
AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT
Plan to be spontaneous – tomorrow.
THE WAY WE WORK
(Updated as it comes available. The Way WE Work is written by Mark Elfstrand from 1160Hope.com in Chicago.)
The topic of this week’s blog is the essence of confidentiality. No. It’s not a new cologne. But there is a fresh fragrance when trust is kept and honored.
We in the media find getting a scoop to be a delicious morsel. News stations like to brag about being the first to bring a story to your attention. Writers treasure the opportunity to share insider information that only they have been privy to uncover. It’s all part of the larger game in business that we call competition.
Exclusivity is worth bucks as well. Over the weekend, my wife and I indulged in watching the movie Steve Jobs. In one sequence, a technology reporter is pursuing Steve for comments. He wants what we might call the prime sound bytes. Jobs and his marketing whiz refuse comment, but then go “off the record.” We know this to be the comments made that are not recorded, and intended to be kept private. Often they are not.
A different variation on this theme comes from sources who give out information that they are unauthorized to share. The tragic crash of the Russian jetliner had reporters scrambling to get answers on why it went down. Any source with some credibility will do.
In reading the Chicago Tribune story about the incident, I read this: “A U.S. satellite registered a ‘heat flash’ about the time that the plane crashed, a U.S. official said Tuesday, speaking on the condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to discuss the information publicly.”
This line about sources who wish to remain anonymous because they aren’t supposed to talk is quite common. But I don’t like it. I’ve been asked by a reporter to be quoted for a story he was writing. It was understood my name would carry attribution for what was said.
The disturbing element of the anonymous secret sharer is one of mislaid trust. People who are unauthorized to give out information can’t be trusted. They have violated an ethical code of silence. And when you do that, what other ethical transgressions might you be open to?
Mind you, I don’t consider it inappropriate to speak “off the record” if what you are sharing is to add context and is not damaging information. But one must be careful. If you are at all worried that this information can be traced to you, it’s best to avoid oversharing.
Whistleblowers are in a different category. Genuine concern over some form of illegal activity that results in harm to others may lead someone within an organization to report it. But consider, if the principle motivation is financial gain or delivered out of spite or payback, how noble is the whistleblower?
This issue comes home to roost in personal relationships as well. Many people delight in being privy to others’ situations that they, in turn, can share with friends or coworkers. This often leads to gossip — that “casual or unconstrained conversation about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.” Oh the joy of spreading others’ secrets!
Knowing this about the human condition leaves us untrusting. And it hurts our cause in building authentic relationships. Gaining someone’s trust is to be prized. Violating that trust can leave one crushed.
I’ve been involved in several small groups with men to build friendships. In those conversations, we share events from our personal lives. Being more private in nature, the spoken word came with a caveat: intended for this audience ONLY. We would jokingly refer to these sessions as being the “Pope’s Chambers.” Or applying the “cone of silence.”
People in leadership have a difficult time in being transparent with others. They know the damage that can be done from unguarded sharing. Without a very few friends who can be trusted, these same leaders risk isolation. That too is troublesome.
The Bible speaks to this in several ways. The book of Proverbs is a good place to start. Proverbs 11:13 reads, “A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.” (NLT) Proverbs 16:28 adds, “A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends.” (NLT) And then this warning from Proverbs 20:19: “Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.” (ESV)
One final word on this topic from Jesus. There are times when we must share what others would wish we keep to ourselves. It is a report of the Good News. In sending His disciples out, the Gospel of Matthew records these instructions: “So do not be afraid of people. Whatever is now covered up will be uncovered, and every secret will be made known. What I am telling you in the dark you must repeat in broad daylight, and what you have heard in private you must announce from the housetops.” (Matthew 10:26-27, GNT)
When it comes to sharing with others on any topic, know your boundaries.
TMI can kill you.
That’s The Way WE Work.
THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER
Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).
NOVEMBER 06, 2015…
Brooklyn—Saoirse Ronan plays a young woman in Ireland, who decides to go to New York City. It is the 1950’s and not only does she find work, but some romance, too. Adapted from the book by Colm Toibin. Also in the cast is Jim Broadbent. “Brooklyn” is rated PG 13. No rating.
Miss You Already—Toni Collette discovers she has cancer and fights the disease with friend, Drew Barrymore. What can they come up with as therapy? Wild and wacky or sad? What do you think? “Miss You Already” is rated PG 13. No rating.
The Peanuts Movie—In 3D animation and what more could you ask for? It is your favorite comic strip characters by Charles M. Schultz, and with Snoopy and the doghouse, too. Voices include Hadley Belle Miller (Lucy), Noah Schnapp (Charlie Brown) and AJ Teeco (Pig Pen.) “The Peanuts Movie” is rated PG. Enjoy.
Spectre—Daniel Craig is back as James Bond in this thriller with Christoph Waltz as the evil one. Bond goes around the globe again, and with beautiful women including Lila Seydoux and Monica Bellucci. Although some are already choosing the next James Bond, I don’t think Daniel Craig will give up that easy .Always great stunts. I always thought, though, that Pierce Brosnan had a few Bond films left in him. “Spectra” is rated R. Rating of 3 for fans.
Spotlight—This film is about uncovering the sex abuse scandal concerning the Catholic Church in Boston in the early part of the 21st century. The Boston Globe got wind of what was happening and really dug into it. The Globe got the 2003 Pulitzer Prize for it’s reporting. Some of the stars are Mark Ruffalo, Rachel McAdams and Michael Keaton. “Spotlight” is rated R. Rating of 3 for fans of the stars.
Trumbo—Bryan Cranston takes on the role of writer Dalton Trumbo, who was Hollywood blacklisted in the 1940’s when it was alleged he was a communist. Trumbo fought this, but the blacklist remained. “Trumbo” is rated R. Rating of 2 for fans of the star.
NOVEMBER 13, 2015…
The 33 with Antonio Banderas as one of the Chilean miners trapped underground.
By The Sea with Angelina Jolie-Pitt and Brad Pitt is a commentary on married life with problems.
Love The Coopers stars Diane Keaton in a comedy about a family gathering at Christmas.
Shelter has Jennifer Connelly in a drama about being homeless. Directed by her husband, Paul Bettany.
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