November 16, 2015: Monday ONAIRprep


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Now, (THE JOCK SHOW) courageously presents: “Things to Do With Leaves!”

  • Stuff them in sandwich bags to make waterproof pillows for squirrels.
  • When they turn crunchy, try to convince the neighborhood kids they’re colored Tostitos.
  • Have the kids roll them up in big balls and make a leafman.
  • Learn to make wonderful, inexpensive gifts out of leaf mache’.
  • Roll them into funny-looking cigarettes and order the neighborhood kids to leave them alone.
  • Or go with my plan – simply do nothing, and become the neighborhood’s leading collector of compost.




“If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength.” –Proverbs 24:10


Psalm 23:4 

Even though I walk

through the darkest valley,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.


If serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…. As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord. — Joshua 24:15





I [Paul] thank God, whom I serve, as my forefathers did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you [Timothy] in my prayers. — 2 Timothy 1:3


Thought: Paul is near the end of his life, facing persecution in a horrible prison. Many of the young men whom he had mentored have left the faith or have turned against him. How can he give thanks? Paul speaks of his confidence in his own victorious future with Jesus and in his son in the faith, Timothy. What makes this special is that he communicates it to Timothy. He’s not content to just give thanks to God in prayer! He also tells Timothy how precious he is in this letter. When was the last time you sent a note of thanks to the people you appreciate, letting them know they give you reason to rejoice before the throne of God?


Prayer: Matchless Father of all grace, thank you! Thank you for every spiritual blessing I have in Christ. Thank you today for the special people who are such a blessing to me in my walk of faith…(take a minute and just say their names before the Father). Help me grow in my ability to show my appreciation and approval of these precious people, so that they can know what a blessing they are to me. In Jesus’ name I thank you. Amen.


The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to




The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!

Acts 11:16 NIV = Then I remembered what the Lord had said: ‘John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.’




(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)


Today is FAMOUS SAN DIEGO CHICKEN DAY, a day to honor anyone who ever slugged a purple dinosaur. ***MARLAR: A hero to all of us!


Today is INTERNATIONAL DAY FOR TOLERANCE. ***MARLAR: Except for purple dinosaurs.




National Button Day





Homemade Bread Day

National Entrepreneurship Day

National Unfriend Day

World Prematurity Awareness Day



European Antibiotic Awareness Day

GIS Day (Geographic Information Systems)

Married To a Scorpio Support Day

Mickey Mouse Day

National Apple Cider Day

National Educational Support Professionals Day

Push-Button Phone Day



American Made Matters Day

Equal Opportunity Day (Gettysburg Address Day)

Great American Smokeout

Have a Bad Day Day

International Men’s Day

Rocky and Bullwinkle Day

Use Less Stuff Day

World Philosophy Day

Women’s Entrepreneurship Day

World Toilet Day



African Industrialization Day

Globally Organized Hug a Runner Day (G.O.H.A.R.D.)

Name Your PC Day

National Peanut Butter Fudge Day

Universal Children’s Day



Alascattalo Day

Beaujolais Noveau Day

Family Volunteer Day

Guinness World Record Day

International Games Day

National Adoption Day

National Day of Play

National Survivors of Suicide Day

Playmobil’s National Day of Play

World Hello Day

World Television Day



Doo Dah Day

Humane Society Anniversary Day

Mother Goose Day



Doctor Who Day

Fibonacci Day

International Day to End Impunity

International Image Consultant Day

National Espresso Day




1907: Oklahoma became the 46th U.S. state.


1955: Tennessee Ernie Ford’s “Sixteen Tons” hit #1 in America only three weeks after its release, becoming history’s fastest-selling record to that time. He owed his soul to the company store.


1955: Singer Johnny Cash entered the country music charts for the first time with “Cry Cry Cry.”


1959: “The Sound of Music” opened on Broadway starring Mary Martin.


1979: A Baden, Pennsylvania, banker was sentenced to three years in prison for misappropriating bank funds and for spanking delinquent customers. ***MARLAR: I think it’s only fair we get to spank all of the bankers we’ve had to bail out – what do you think?


1989: David Letterman beat up the Energizer Bunny with a baseball bat. ***MARLAR: He just kept going, and going, and going…


1991: A Cromwell, Connecticut, construction worker was arrested for reckless endangerment for allegedly driving too close to a police officer with his steamroller. ***MARLAR: And now you know how cops got the name “flatfoot.”


1997: A 17-year-old high school student won a 1984 Chevy Blazer in the Campbell, Missouri, Police Department’s Hands-On Marathon when she was the only one who entered.


1999: Autobahn 33, a major German highway, was closed for several hours after a truck flipped and spilled 16 tons of apples on the highway. Three cars and two trucks crashed as they slid on the smashed apples. No one was killed, but one person was injured. The resulting applesauce was four inches thick.


2005: Anthony Sheppard of Oakland, California, shocked his mother with a telephone call, a day after he was reported dead. Oakland police had messed up after finding Sheppard’s identification card on a shooting victim. Authorities alerted his mother of the shooting, and released the details to reporters. The 23-year-old Sheppard said he was shocked when he walked up to friends who were crying about a newspaper account of his death. Sheppard told police he had lost the I.D. card several years earlier. His mother said she thought she was talking to a ghost.


2005: A secret White House document reportedly confirmed oil company executives had met with White House officials when the Bush administration was fashioning its 2001 energy policy.




1621: The Papal Chancery first adopted January 1st as the beginning of the calendar year. Previously, March was the first month, which explains why our modern names for the 9th-12th months begin instead with prefixes meaning “7” (sept), “8” (oct) “9” (nov) and “10” (dec).


1918: In NY City, the United Lutheran Church was organized by a merger of three general Lutheran bodies in the U.S. and Canada. (In 1962, the ULC became one of the branches of Lutheranism which formed the Lutheran Church in America.)


1946: The Evangelical United Brethren Church was constituted at Johnstown, PA by a merger of the United Brethren in Christ and the Evangelical Church. The new denomination originated in the work of two German Reformed pastors, Philip W. Otterbein and Martin Boehm, who had ministered among Pennsylvania Germans two centuries earlier.


1952: “Our Goodly Heritage” debuted over CBS television. This Sunday morning Bible study program, hosted by William Rush Baer of New York University, aired a little over five years.




  • actress (“Guiding Light”, Rose Red) Kimberly J. Brown 30
  • skater Oksana Baiul 37
  • actress (The Goonies, Parenthood, Stanley & Iris) Martha Plimpton 44
  • actress (“The Cosby Show”, Enemy of the State) Lisa Bonet is 47 (




(Music Artist Birthdays From

1895 : Paul Hindemith

1905 : Albert “Eddie” Condon

1916 : Herb Abramson

1931 : Bob Gibson

1933 : Garnet Mimms

1938 : Troy Seals (James Brown)

1940 : John Ryanes (The Monotones)

1941 : Dan Penn

1943 : Winifred Lovett (The Manhattans)

1948 : Chi Coltrane

1949 : Pattie Santos (It’s A Beautiful Day)

1962 : Mani (The Stone Roses)

1964 : Diana Krall

1969 : Bryan Abrams (Color Me Badd)

1979 : Trevor Penick (O-Town)




What’s the difference between a blizzard and a whiteout?

Predicting snowstorms is one of the most difficult tasks of the weather forecaster. Over a half billion dollars is spent each year in preparation for snow removal of predicted storms that never materialize. More money is saved, however, in accurate predictions of the amount and timing of snowfall in major metropolitan areas. In Kentucky alone, a state not generally associated with heavy snow, over 140,000 tons of salt was used for snow removal in the winter of 1993-94.

There are various names for the different types of snow storms in the United States. What we may call the storms may be much different than the official name that the U. S. Weather Service gives to them.
By National Weather Service definitions, a blizzard occurs when the wind speeds are 35 mph or more with considerable falling and or blowing snow. The snow will cause poor visibility which of a quarter of a mile or less. The official term of a blizzard does not require that new snow be falling. Sometimes the term blizzard is prefaced with the word ground — “ground blizzard.” The phrase ground blizzard refers to a storm in which all the airborne snow has been re-suspended from that which had previously fallen.
A whiteout is a term used to describe an extreme blizzard condition. During a whiteout, blowing or falling snow reduces visibility to the point where the sky, the air, and the ground become indistinguishable. Everything is white. A whiteout is a dangerous condition. A person caught in such a storm is easily disoriented and quickly becomes lost. Being lost in a whiteout often has dire consequences.
By definition a “heavy snow warning” means that four or more inches of snow will fall in a 12 hour period. The heavy snow warning does not necessarily include cold temperatures or high winds. According to National Weather Service usage, snowfall rate is considered “heavy” when visibility, without fog or blowing snow, is reduced to 5/16th of a mile or less.




Do you like the Christian Artist News you see below? It’s just a tiny sample of the 5-6 pages of material you could be receive every weekday… and it’s FREE! Become one of their subscribers at!


The members of Among The Thirsty welcomed the newest member to their family this week. They shared: Welcome to the world Oliver Michael Pelno. Oliver’s dad Alan plays keyboard for the band.


From Danny Gokey: So many people try to create a “good life” by making everything comfortable and easy. Yet, I wish more people knew that those lives which create the most impact, leave legacies, and change history were never created in the “comfort zone”. They were born in adversity, trial, tragedy and great disappointment.


Jodi says her baby is gonna be a rocker. She is half of the Canadian duo Love and the Outcome and they are currently on tour with Winterjam. Jodi tweeted: Six and a half months pregnant today.


Casting Crowns is auctioning off an autographed guitar for a good cause. The money raised from signed brand new Mitchell guitar will go help Scott and Sarah Lawrence adopt a girl with special needs from China.


A request from Kutless member James Mead: Please don’t say “so and so” looks like me just because they have a beard. To prove his point James shared a series of pictures of bearded people that he does not look at all like. Included in the list was Santa Claus and even a bearded lizard. James said that all have a beard but none look at all like him.


Jamie Grace is part of Winterjam west this month and asked: Jodi wore my hoodie today. Does this make me a Canadian by association? Jodi makes up half of the Canadian duo Love and the Outcome.


Look for music from for King and Country in a new NBC series. Members of the group posted this week: Help us give a cheer to NBC for using No Turning Back as part of their new series Chicago Med.


You can take the artist out of the south but you can’t take the south out of the artist. Lauren Daigle is a Louisiana native. She was in Maine last weekend and tweeted: One thing on muh mynd all dae… MUH BOYZ. MUH TEAM. MUH BLOOD. LSU!!!!! I may be singing in Maine, but that doesn’t mean I’m not tailgating in the bus!


Jordan Feliz says he now totally understands the statement “They grow up so fast.” His daughter Jolie Bennett Feliz is 4 months and Jordan says: it feels like we just got home from the hospital. He added: So thankful for this amazing time in life! Feeling so incredibly blessed.






Pastafarian gets to wear strainer on head in license photo    photo
BOSTON (AP) — A Massachusetts agency is letting a woman who belongs to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster wear a colander on her head in her driver’s license photo after she cited her religious beliefs. Lowell resident Lindsay Miller said Friday that she “absolutely loves the history…


Pocket dial to 911 leads to arrests in Halloween vandalism
LEWISTON, Maine (AP) — Police in Maine say a teenager’s pocket dial to 911 led to three arrests for vandalism that included damage to a fleet of school buses on Halloween. HASH(0x13e1610) Two 18-year-olds, one from Old Orchard Beach and one from Sanford, along with a younger boy from Old…
Restaurant fires patron who berated autistic delivery driver    photo
ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) — An Alaska restaurant is being overwhelmed with goodwill after its owner defended an autistic delivery driver who was berated by a customer. The customer called Little Italy Restaurante in Anchorage to loudly complain after the delivery employee mixed up an order,…
Police stop Google self-driving car for going too slowly    photo
MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. (AP) — A car built by Google that drives itself around city streets had a brush with the law for driving too slowly. A police officer in the tech giant’s Silicon Valley hometown pulled over the prototype car Thursday because it was going a traffic-tying 24 mph in a 35…
Saudi Arabia cracks case of smuggled beer disguised as Pepsi
DUBAI, United Arab Emirates (AP) — Customs officials in Saudi Arabia say they’ve cracked a case — and then some — of smugglers trying to bring illicit cans of beer through the kingdom by disguising them as Pepsi. In a statement, customs officials say they intercepted 48,000 cans…
Deer crashes through car’s windshield, lands in backseat
PLANO, Texas (AP) — A Dallas-area driver found himself with an unexpected passenger when a deer smashed through his windshield and ended up in the backseat of his car. Christopher Coleman of Frisco was not hurt, but the deer died in the accident Wednesday on the Sam Rayburn Tollway in Plano….
Woman fighting potential $500 fine for posting pro-cop sign
CANONSBURG, Pa. (AP) — A Pennsylvania woman is fighting possible $500 daily fines for posting a handmade crime watch sign in her window warning drug dealers to stay away. Canonsburg Mayor Bob Kipp says Cindy Davis received the notice of having a “non-confirming sign in a residential area”…
Man grabs video, records burglars fleeing Las Vegas house
LAS VEGAS (AP) — A Las Vegas man who armed himself with a video camera and a gun to confront four burglars fleeing a break-in at a nearby home says the incident shows the value of knowing your neighbors and asking for help. Brett McCann said Thursday that he never hesitated to act when his…
Rogue emu captured after 60 days on the lam in Delaware    photo
ODESSA, Del. (AP) — An emu whose escape more than 60 days ago prompted lockdowns at two Delaware elementary schools has been captured. Daniel Shortridge is a spokesman for the state Department of Agriculture. He is quoted by The News-Journal of Wilmington as saying that private parties and…
Lamb on the lam for hours after Nevada crash to be adopted    photo
LAS VEGAS (AP) — A lamb that was on the lam for hours after a tractor-trailer crash in Nevada killed 74 other sheep has been caught and will be adopted by a foster family. The female lamb nicknamed Dodger wandered off from the crash site and was missing in the desert overnight before being…
Parking problems? Pay tickets in canned food instead of cash
LEXINGTON, Ky. (AP) — Parking tickets can be paid with donations of canned food instead of cash during a monthlong “Food for Fines” program in Lexington, Kentucky. The city’s parking authority will accept cans for citations from Nov. 16 to Dec. 18, The Lexington Herald-Leader reported…






New produce safety rules aim to prevent illness outbreaks    photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — The Obama administration wants you to eat your fruits and vegetables. They also want the produce to be safe. Long-awaited rules issued by the Food and Drug Administration Friday are designed to help prevent large-scale, deadly outbreaks of foodborne illness like those linked…


FDA orders recall of machine used to clean medical scopes
WASHINGTON (AP) — Federal officials are ordering the recall of nearly 2,800 machines used to disinfect medical scopes. They blamed company violations that could lead to infections in patients. The Food and Drug Administration said Friday that Custom Ultrasonics must recall all of its…
Proposed smoking ban heats up debate at LA housing complex    photo
LOS ANGELES (AP) — At William Mead Homes, where people live in 415 tidy if aging red-brick apartments on the edge of downtown Los Angeles, opinions on the federal government’s proposed ban on smoking both inside and outside of all public housing are about as plentiful as the scores of…
Boats sit idle as algae threatens Dungeness crab season    photo
San Francisco’s Fisherman’s Wharf typically bustles this time of year as workers prepare to haul millions of pounds of Dungeness crab that are a tradition at Thanksgiving and other holiday meals. But crab pots are sitting empty on docks, boats are idled and fishermen are anxiously waiting for…
Lawsuit: Birth control mix-up results in 113 pregnancies
PHILADELPHIA (AP) — More than 100 women who blame their pregnancies on errant birth control packaging have joined a negligence lawsuit filed in Philadelphia against several drug companies. The lawsuit follows a 2011 recall of more than 500,000 blister packs after an Iowa customer found the…
Drug might help breast cancer patients avoid heart damage    photo
ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) — Many cancer treatments have a dark side — they can damage the heart. New research suggests this risk might be lowered in women with breast tumors if they take a heart drug as a preventive measure during their cancer care. If confirmed in wider testing, this could…
Obesity still rising among US adults, women overtake men    photo
NEW YORK (AP) — Obesity is still rising among American adults, despite more than a decade of public-awareness campaigns and other efforts to get people to watch their weight, and women have now overtaken men in the obese category, new government research shows. For the past several years,…
China’s gray smog has a blue lining: Air improves this year    photo
BEIJING (AP) — Lawyer Wu Congsi has asthma and keeps air purifiers whirring away in his office, home and car to counter Beijing’s hazardous smog. He prefers to stay inside unless the sky is blue. But this year, he’s been able to regularly walk the 15 minutes or so to work. That’s because of…
Hospital releases nurse who suffered Ebola complication
LONDON (AP) — London’s Royal Free Hospital says it has discharged Scottish nurse Pauline Cafferkey, who was hospitalized last month after suffering from a rare relapse of Ebola. Cafferkey was treated for meningitis that developed as a result of lingering Ebola in her system. Now free from…
German transport agency is testing emissions on 23 brands    photo
BERLIN (AP) — Germany’s Federal Motor Transport Authority says it’s testing the emissions of vehicles made by 23 foreign and domestic brands following revelations that Volkswagen installed software on some 11 million vehicles allowing them to fake emissions results. The agency said Wednesday…
Express Scripts sues Horizon, fight over prescriptions grows    photo
The drugmaker Horizon Pharma is questioning its relationship with an Express Scripts business after the pharmacy benefits giant sued Horizon for about $140 million and dumped a pharmacy that dispenses its drugs. Shares of Horizon Pharma Plc plunged Wednesday after it said it will re-evaluate its…




(None on the weekends)



Dr. Ben Carson’s mother has a slightly different version of the story he told about attacking her with a hammer. Ma Carson says that it was actually she who attacked him with a hammer. ***It’s good to know one of our frontrunner GOP presidential candidates comes from such a mentally stable family.


In his new memoir, retired Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke writes that he feels more executives should have gone to jail their part in causing the Great Recession of 2008.  *** Heck, I say it’s not too late to remedy that… who’s with me?


The US Postal Workers Union has endorsed Bernie Sanders for president. ***He politely thanked them but added he is still waiting for the more important endorsement from his childhood heroes at the Pony Express.


A new study finds that blotting pizza with a napkin to remove excess grease can remove around 40 calories per slice.  ***Plus you then have a pizza-flavored napkin which is a great source of fiber.




A recent poll shows that 70% of Americans hate their job.  ***It also showed that 7.6% of Americans wish they at least had a job to hate.


Researches now say it’s healthier to walk along a busy road and breathe in exhaust fumes than it is to sit inside your air-conditioned car. Blame it on unfiltered air from exhaust fumes and chemicals from car seats, audio equipment and air fresheners. It’s bad news for those with a long commute as they say the bad interior air can cause cancer and respiratory diseases. They recommend opening your car’s windows, but only along country roads.  ***MARLAR: I’ve been down country roads – and those smells can also make you sick.


There’s a new date for the end of the world. It’s now the year 2,000,002,015. A Scottish researcher (Jack O’Malley-James) says too little carbon dioxide will cause the death of animals and plants. In a billion years, he believes animals and plants will die-off. Then, another billion years after, with the loss of our oceans, Earth becomes even too desolate for even tiny microbes.  ***MARLAR: Doggone it – why did I agree to buy the extended warranty on my solar calculator?


A Chinese national law requires the offspring of parents older than 60 to visit their parents “frequently”.  ***MARLAR: Here in America we don’t need a law for that… we call it “Thanksgiving”.








CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Johnny Roberts, “Million Dollars”




OPEN: And now,, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, Marvy Snuffleson has been sent to his room for not playing with the new kid in the neighborhood – but then his bed was washed up on the sea and he’s now ashore a beautiful jungle island… and he’s already met the Beach Birds, and now he’s face to face with big 15ft hairy creatures – except for the shorter ones!


CLOSE: Well, at least we know who the creatures are now… they’re Razzleflabbins! But will Marvy be stuck on Razzleflabbin Island forever? Tune in again next time for more of our story – As the Jungle Turns!






OPEN: And now,, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, Katie Snuffleson was eating all the candy she wanted in the cloud city of Candyland over Razzleflabbin Island. Unfortunately, she’s eaten a bit too much candy – and now the clouds are slowly losing their grip on her, she’s too heavy, and is beginning to fall from the sky to the ocean below!


CLOSE: Tune in again next time, as, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you another inspiringly inspiring inspirational story in the never-ending deep-jungle soap-opera saga that is As the Jungle Turns!


***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of As the Jungle Turns in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us.




Coca-Cola is being sued by a Judge.

A German judge is suing Coca-Cola, accusing them of causing his diabetes because he drank two cans a day – which he says contributed to his getting the disease and because they never put a warning on the can to the effect of, “not for long-term consumption.” He plans a similar lawsuit against the Mars candy company. ***MARLAR: Sounds like the carbonation has gone to his brain.






  1. The Doctor says, “Please disrobe” and you do it without question.  The Pastor preaches that you should dress modestly and he is getting too personal.


  1. The Doctor charges outrageous fees and you complain but you come back the next time you are sick.  The Pastor preaches that you should pay your tithes and you leave the church.


  1. The Doctor checks how much you weigh and you allow him.  The Pastor asks how much you pray and it’s none of his business.


  1. The Doctor gives you a nasty tasting pill and you take it.  The Pastor feeds you the Word and you say no thank you.


  1. The Doctor’s office closes at a certain time.  The Pastor is to be available, awake and ready 24 hours a day.


  1. The Doctor tells you how to change your lifestyle to lower your blood pressure.  The Pastor tells you how to change your lifestyle and it raises your blood pressure.


  1. The Doctor tells you we need to run more tests, so you make an appointment.  The Pastor says we need more Prayer Meetings and Bible Studies and you are too busy.


  1. The Doctor says, “There is nothing more we can do”, and you search high and low for one who can help.  The Pastor says, “God can help you”, and you give up and say “What’s the use.”


  1. The Doctor says, “Try this and see if it works and if it doesn’t we’ll try something else”, so you do.  The Pastor gives you the promises of God’s Word and you don’t like to “Walk by faith.”


  1. To the Doctor, you are just another customer.  To the Pastor, you are a part of the family. He loves you. He prays for you. He helps carry your burdens. He laughs with you and cries with you.


(By Pastor Flosser)




Police in New Jersey say they know who the car thief is – but it’s more of a “what” than a “who.”


FILE #1: New Jersey Police Officer Dave Dehard found a missing vehicle by the side of the road near Vernon Township. The passenger window had been broken and the door panels were damaged. He also found tons of black bear hair inside which led Officer Dehard to determine a bear had apparently crawled inside the vehicle and somehow released the emergency brake which allowed the vehicle to roll 40 or 50 feet away from the owner’s house. This is what happens when you leave candy in your car — which the owner had done.


FILE #2: A Michigan State University student is facing charges of “criminal splashing.” Witnesses say the 20-year-old suspect went out of his way to drive his truck through a puddle and splash a pedestrian. According to eyewitnesses, the suspect swerved five feet off the road to splash a woman as she walked on campus. Assistant Prosecutor Sam Smith will try the case and the suspect could be fined up to $500 and sentenced to up to three months in jail.


FILE #3: In Helena, Montana, a Helena Prerelease Center employee heard something rustling in the bushes — so he threw a rock at a shrub. To his surprise, he heard someone say, “Hey, you hit me in the head!” The stone hit a 22-year-old escaped convict who was being transferred by bus from a prison in Seattle who was then easily recaptured by police.


STRANGE LAW: You may not take a picture of a rabbit in Wyoming during the month of June.




Can you get a restraining order against the very ones in charge of upholding law and order?

In Kansas City, felon Wesley Fitzpatrick asked a judge for a restraining order against his own parole officer and in the tangle of red tape, he got it. Fitzpatrick, 23, went to prison in 2001 after being convicted of attempted possession of methamphetamine, he was released in June of 2002 and assigned to supervision of Judy Little. Fitzpatrick complained about reporting to Little, and then filed for official protection, claiming he was a victim of harassment. Fitzpatrick was able to get the restraining order by convincing a judge he was being stalked by Little, whom he never mention was his parole officer. The strange situation was solved when Fitzpatrick was arrested and thrown back in jail for failing to report to his parole officer.




A Baden, Pennsylvania, banker was sentenced to three years in prison for (among other things) spanking delinquent customers. How many of us would like to see a customer spanked in a store? What should customers be spanked for? More than ten items in the express lane? Letting their kids wander around the store? Waiting until everything is rung up before searching for the checkbook?




QUESTION: Who once fed 100 men with 20 loaves of barley bread and still had some left over?
ANSWER: Elisha (2 Kings 4:42-44)




QUESTION: On which special day of the year are the most collect-calls made?

ANSWER: Father’s Day




Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!


  1. Bagpipes originated in Russia. (False. Although identified with Scotland, bagpipes are actually a very ancient instrument, introduced into the British Isles by the Romans.)


  1. Because of TV censorship, actress Mariette Hartley was not allowed to show her belly button on STAR TREK,. (True – it was episode #78 “All Our Yesterdays” in 1969. However, later Roddenberry got even when he gave Hartley “two” belly buttons in the sci-fi movie Genesis II in 1973.)


  1. Between 1931 and 1969 Walt Disney collected thirty-five Oscars. (True)


  1. The first Life Saver was cherry flavored. (False – Peppermint was the flavor of the first Life Saver candy, introduced in 1912.)


  1. The word “Buccaneer” came from the word “barbecuer.” (True.)


  1. Microbes can survive on the surface of food made in microwaves. (True. Because microwave ovens cook so fast, microbes can survive on the surface of the food. To counteract this problem, cover the cooking dish with another dish of glass or ceramic, not plastic. The steam that accumulates will heat the surface, thus killing any surviving microscopic critters.)


  1. In 1995, because of the introduction of computers, paper-consumtion in the U.S. dropped by 25% from the 1980s. (False – in fact, each American used an annual average of 731 pounds of paper, more than double the amount used in the 1980s. And paper consumption is growing.)


  1. In 1996, Americans bought only 12 inches of dental floss per capita. (True)


  1. Per capita, it is safer to live in New York City than it is to live in Pine Bluff, Arkansas. (True)


  1. Seventy-three percent of Americans are willing to wear clothes until the clothes wear out. (True. The poll conducted by Louis Harris and Associates also revealed: 92 percent are willing to eliminate annual model changes in automobiles; 57 percent are willing to see a national policy that would make it cheaper to live in multiple-unit apartments than in single-family homes; 91 percent are willing to eat more vegetables and less meat for protein.)




You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!


ROME – Italy is on the brink of financial ruin, so China has made an offer to buy Italy.

An embattled prime minister struggling to hold the government together. Rocketing public debt. An economy on the brink of collapse.   What are the Italians to do?

Become Chinese.

Italy is in dire political and fiscal shape.   The government of Silvio Berlusconi is collapsing as he continues clinging to power.  Italy is third largest member of the Eurozone.  It is weighed down with a runway public debt of $2.6 trillion, a figure more than 120 percent of GDP, Italy has indulged in a massive borrowing spree.

But China has come to Italy’s rescue!

They have made an offer to buy Italy (for 50 cents on the dollar).  Italy will become a colony of China and will be renamed Chitaly.  Pasta will be renamed “noodles.”





Think of a number. Okay, now multiply it by 3.
Now add 5.
Take away the number you first thought of.
Now add 7.
Subtract 2.
Add back the number you first thought of.
Now, close your eyes.
Dark, isn’t it?



I’ve always ordered beverages one simple way: “A Coke, please.”  Lately, though, this hasn’t seemed to work. Waitresses now often respond, “I’m sorry, we don’t have Coke. We have Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Mr. Pibb.”

Tired of listening to the long list of soft drinks, I thought I’d make life easier. So one day I simply asked the snack bar clerk at a movie theater for a “dark, carbonated beverage.”

The young man behind the counter chuckled and asked, “Sir, would you like a cylindrical plastic sucking device with that?”



Three buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an orientation.  They are all asked, “When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?”

The first guy says, “I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time and a great family man.”

The second guy says, “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.”

The last guy replies, “I would like to hear them say, ‘Look, he’s moving!'”




A Harvard study found that creative people are more likely to cheat and be dishonest.  ***MARLAR: That’s because we can be more creative about it!


Woman’s Day magazine found 66% of us worry about holiday weight gain. ***MARLAR: Not me, I don’t worry about it at all – I KNOW I’m going to gain weight.


87% of all e-mail received in The Philippines is spam!  ***MARLAR: Wouldn’t it be great if we could get the amount of spam in our own email down to just 87%?





In the doctor’s office two patients are talking. “You know, I had an appendectomy last month and the doctor left a sponge in me by mistake.”
“A sponge!” exclaims the other. “And do you feel much pain”
“No pain at all,” says the first, “but do I get thirsty!”





  • “Jerry was at his grandmother’s yesterday, and she did not bring him to school because Jerry couldn’t remember where the school was.”
  • “Ronnie would not finish his work last night. He said his brain was too tired of spelling.”
  • “Eric hurt his knee in a karate tournament over the weekend. He won his age group, but was in too much pain to do his math assignment.”
  • “Amy did not do her homework last night because we went out to a party and did not get home until late. If she is tired, please let her sleep during recess time.”
  • “Henry stayed home because he had a stomach ache from eating too much frosting.”
  • “It was my fault Mike did not do his math homework last night. His pencil broke and we do not have a pencil sharpener at home.”
  • “Scott didn’t practice last night because he lost his tooth in the mouthpiece of his trumpet.”
  • “Diane was late on Wednesday. She fell asleep on the bus and was taken back to the bus yard.”
  • “Cody was absent yesterday because we were out bowling until 2 AM.”
  • “Tommy wasn’t in school yesterday because he thought it was Saturday.”




I LOVED YOU ENOUGH (by: Erma Bombeck)

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them:

I loved you enough to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to insist that you save your money and buy a bike for yourself even though we could afford to buy one for you.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to make you take a Milky Way back to the drugstore (with a bite out of it) and tell the clerk, “I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it.”

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that would have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren’t perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all. I’m glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.




(modified from Campus Journal)

The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!” –Luke 17:5

Is bigger always better?

A disease that I think ails modern society is the “Bigger Syndrome.” Too many of us are pre occupied with size. We want bigger cars, bigger houses, and bigger bank balances; we want more clothes, more CDs, more parties. Listen to little kids at play and you might hear them brag, “My dad’s bigger than your dad!” Probably the only thing we don’t want bigger is our waistlines!

The disciples weren’t immune from this syndrome either. When they asked Jesus to “increase” their faith (Luke 17:5), they were probably seeking more power. But Jesus gently reminded them that all they needed was faith the size of a mustard seed, the smallest seed known to them, to work great things for the glory of God.

I’m no gardener, but even I know that it’s not the size of the seed that determines the size of the tree. Have you been lamenting that you don’t have “enough” faith? Have you been complaining that you don’t experience the power of God in your life? It’s not a bigger faith that you need, but a faith rooted deep in God’s love, a faith that can grasp the tremendous potential of even a tiny mustard seed in the hand of the Lord. It’s the object of your faith–God–that’s most important.

Some people have pots of money but are still not satisfied; they keep craving more and more. Some people have little to spare after their basic needs are met, yet they radiate joy and contentment. How do you explain this seeming contradiction? It is not more faith that we need, but God’s grace to exercise the faith He has already given us.

Starting today, stop asking for more faith. Instead, ask the Lord to take your faith, however much (or little) it may be, and deepen it. Exercise the faith you have in our powerful God. Then stand back–and watch those mountains start moving!




They’ve found the world’s oldest Odor Eater!
Archaeologists in central Switzerland have discovered the world’s oldest shoe insole, saying it is about 5,200 years old and made from moss. The archaeologists found the shoe insert in a dig at a Neolithic lakeside settlement in the town of Zug. The insole is 10 inches long and was apparently made for a leather shoe. Archaeologists were amazed that a thin piece of moss had survived intact for so long. ***MARLAR: So, what’s so different about green fuzz living in shoes? Isn’t that the whole reason we got Odor Eaters to begin with? (






Strep throat is an infection in the throat caused by streptococci bacteria. The most persistent symptom of strep throat is the severe and painful sore throat that makes it difficult to swallow any food or drinks. The condition is diagnosed at the doctor’s office with a swab test. Once confirmed as strep throat, only antibiotics can cure strep throat. However, several natural options will help relieve the sore throat while you wait for the antibiotics to take effect.

  • Drink hot tea with some honey and/or lemon added. The hot liquid will soothe the throat. Many feel that lemon and honey also help, reports MedlinePlus. Add as little or as much honey or lemon as you like.
  • Eat foods that will not further irritate the throat. recommends soups, applesauce, hot cereals, yogurt and mashed potatoes. Frozen fruit pops may also help soothe the throat.
  • Mix 1/4 tsp. salt with 8 oz. warm water and gargle the mixture. Do not swallow the salt water. Simply swish it around your mouth and in the back of your throat.
  • Spend time in moist air. You can use a humidifier in the bedroom or run hot water in the shower with the bathroom door shut to moisten a room’s air.
  • Sleep, rest and, otherwise, just take it easy. Lots of rest will help your body fight off the bacterial infection and recover.
  • Avoid smoke because this will irritate the throat.





In the tropics of the Western Hemisphere lives a fish with four eyes.

…In fact it’s called the Four-Eyed Fish. Actually it has only two eyes, but each eye has two parts. While the fish swims just at the water’s surface trolling for insects, half of each eye is underwater and the other half is above the surface, watching for bugs.  ***MARLAR: I remember when I was a kid. I too was called “four-eyes” because of my glasses. Sometimes when we went swimming, my friends would hold my head partly under the water. But as far as I remember, I only ate insects when they forced me to.  (






  • Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
  • To get rid of itch from mosquito bite: try applying soap on the area for instant relief.
  • Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator-it will keep for weeks.
  • Brush beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
  • Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften it back up.
  • When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corns natural sweetness.
  • To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of cool, salted water. If it sinks, it is fresh. If it rises to the surface, throw it away.
  • If you have problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
  • Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse with water.
  • Ants, ants, ants everywhere … Well, they are said to never cross a chalk line. So get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or wherever ants tend to march- see for yourself.
  • Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips
  • Use a meat baster to “squeeze” your pancake batter onto the hot griddle-perfect shaped pancakes every time.
  • To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
  • To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard-boiling.
  • Run your hands under cold water before pressing Rice Krispies treats in the pan-the marshmallow won’t stick to your fingers.
  • To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing.
  • To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove-top-skillet will be much easier to clean now.
  • Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato-based sauces-no more stains.
  • When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead-no white mess on the outside of the cake.
  • If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it’s still cooking, drop in a peeled potato-it absorbs the excess salt for an instant “fix me up”.





After 35 years and 60 different doctors, Patrick Webster has finally stopped sneezing.

…That’s right, Webster says that he sneezed almost 100 times a day for two-thirds of his 52 years. Years of seeing numerous doctors didn’t help, as he eventually had to quit his job because of the non-stop sneezing. But thankfully the cause of his sneezing has been revealed. It was his breakfast cereal.  A doctor at a private clinic in London discovered that Patrick was allergic to oats and egg yolk – and said his morning bowl of Muesli was causing the sneezing. Patrick says that for as long as he can remember he started every day by eating Muesli for breakfast. As soon as he stopped eating it, so did the sneezing.  Patrick is considering suing the doctors who were unable to diagnose his problem for the last 35-years. He said, “One doctor even told me I must be allergic to myself!”  It’s estimated that he has sneezed 6 million times in his life. The Guinness Book of Records was looking to see if he had achieved the world sneezing record.  ***MARLAR: He also may hold the record for hearing the phrase, “God bless you”, six million times.




(Mondays Only)




Tired of preparing your Thanksgiving meal in one morning? This year, Food Network Kitchen took on a major Thanksgiving challenge: Is it possible to make the entire feast ahead? They tested, tweaked and retested to come up with a full Thanksgiving menu that freezes beautifully, which means you can say goodbye to that typically chaotic week before the feast. Instead, with these recipes in your arsenal, the whole meal will be sitting pretty in the freezer, ready for the big day.


For over 100 years, The Gideons International have been distributing Bibles free of charge, placing them in hospitals, hotel rooms, and in the hands of the military. Now, thanks to Faith Comes By Hearing, a Gideon Bible App is available for those who prefer a digital copy of Scripture. According to Mission Network News, The user-friendly app features the Bible in 920 languages both in written and audio format. The app also includes all the Helps that a Gideon Bible will have inside of it, such as help in time of need, the road to salvation, and make a decision for Christ.


The most eagerly anticipated ad of the holiday season—and probably the year—rolled out Friday, as British retailer John Lewis unveiled its latest heartwarming Christmas commercial. The “Man on the Moon” features another child who wants to give as much as receive. As part of the campaign, John Lewis has partnered with Age UK to help some of the million older people in the U.K. who can go for a month without speaking to anyone. Check out the heartwarming commercial here:




If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.


“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” – Albert Einstein




(Updated as it comes available. The Way WE Work is written by Mark Elfstrand from in Chicago.)

TMI Can Kill You

The topic of this week’s blog is the essence of confidentiality. No. It’s not a new cologne. But there is a fresh fragrance when trust is kept and honored.
We in the media find getting a scoop to be a delicious morsel. News stations like to brag about being the first to bring a story to your attention. Writers treasure the opportunity to share insider information that only they have been privy to uncover. It’s all part of the larger game in business that we call competition.
Exclusivity is worth bucks as well. Over the weekend, my wife and I indulged in watching the movie Steve Jobs. In one sequence, a technology reporter is pursuing Steve for comments. He wants what we might call the prime sound bytes. Jobs and his marketing whiz refuse comment, but then go “off the record.” We know this to be the comments made that are not recorded, and intended to be kept private. Often they are not.
A different variation on this theme comes from sources who give out information that they are unauthorized to share. The tragic crash of the Russian jetliner had reporters scrambling to get answers on why it went down. Any source with some credibility will do.
In reading the Chicago Tribune story about the incident, I read this: “A U.S. satellite registered a ‘heat flash’ about the time that the plane crashed, a U.S. official said Tuesday, speaking on the condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to discuss the information publicly.”
This line about sources who wish to remain anonymous because they aren’t supposed to talk is quite common. But I don’t like it. I’ve been asked by a reporter to be quoted for a story he was writing. It was understood my name would carry attribution for what was said.
The disturbing element of the anonymous secret sharer is one of mislaid trust. People who are unauthorized to give out information can’t be trusted. They have violated an ethical code of silence. And when you do that, what other ethical transgressions might you be open to?
Mind you, I don’t consider it inappropriate to speak “off the record” if what you are sharing is to add context and is not damaging information. But one must be careful. If you are at all worried that this information can be traced to you, it’s best to avoid oversharing.
Whistleblowers are in a different category. Genuine concern over some form of illegal activity that results in harm to others may lead someone within an organization to report it. But consider, if the principle motivation is financial gain or delivered out of spite or payback, how noble is the whistleblower?
This issue comes home to roost in personal relationships as well. Many people delight in being privy to others’ situations that they, in turn, can share with friends or coworkers. This often leads to gossip — that “casual or unconstrained conversation about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.” Oh the joy of spreading others’ secrets!
Knowing this about the human condition leaves us untrusting. And it hurts our cause in building authentic relationships. Gaining someone’s trust is to be prized. Violating that trust can leave one crushed.
I’ve been involved in several small groups with men to build friendships. In those conversations, we share events from our personal lives. Being more private in nature, the spoken word came with a caveat: intended for this audience ONLY. We would jokingly refer to these sessions as being the “Pope’s Chambers.” Or applying the “cone of silence.”
People in leadership have a difficult time in being transparent with others. They know the damage that can be done from unguarded sharing. Without a very few friends who can be trusted, these same leaders risk isolation. That too is troublesome.
The Bible speaks to this in several ways. The book of Proverbs is a good place to start. Proverbs 11:13 reads, “A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.” (NLT) Proverbs 16:28 adds, “A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends.” (NLT) And then this warning from Proverbs 20:19: “Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.” (ESV)
One final word on this topic from Jesus. There are times when we must share what others would wish we keep to ourselves. It is a report of the Good News. In sending His disciples out, the Gospel of Matthew records these instructions: “So do not be afraid of people. Whatever is now covered up will be uncovered, and every secret will be made known. What I am telling you in the dark you must repeat in broad daylight, and what you have heard in private you must announce from the housetops.” (Matthew 10:26-27, GNT)
When it comes to sharing with others on any topic, know your boundaries.
TMI can kill you.
That’s The Way WE Work.




Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).


NOVEMBER 06, 2015…


Brooklyn—Saoirse Ronan plays a young woman in Ireland, who decides to go to New York City.  It is the 1950’s and not only does she find work, but some romance, too. Adapted from the book by Colm Toibin. Also in the cast is Jim Broadbent. “Brooklyn” is rated PG 13. No rating.


Miss You Already—Toni Collette discovers she has cancer and fights the disease with friend, Drew Barrymore.  What can they come up with as therapy?  Wild and wacky or sad? What do you think?  “Miss You Already” is rated PG 13. No rating.


The Peanuts Movie—In 3D animation and what more could you ask for?  It is your favorite comic strip characters by Charles M. Schultz, and with Snoopy and the doghouse, too.  Voices include Hadley Belle Miller (Lucy), Noah Schnapp (Charlie Brown) and AJ Teeco (Pig Pen.) “The Peanuts Movie” is rated PG. Enjoy.


Spectre—Daniel Craig is back as James Bond in this thriller with Christoph Waltz as the evil one. Bond goes around the globe again, and with beautiful women including Lila Seydoux and Monica Bellucci.  Although some are already choosing the next James Bond, I don’t think Daniel Craig will give up that easy .Always great stunts. I always thought, though, that Pierce Brosnan had a few Bond films left in him.  “Spectra” is rated R. Rating of 3 for fans.


Spotlight—This film is about uncovering the sex abuse scandal concerning the Catholic Church in Boston in the early part of the 21st century.  The Boston Globe got wind of what was happening and really dug into it. The Globe got the 2003 Pulitzer Prize for it’s reporting. Some of the stars are Mark Ruffalo, Rachel McAdams and Michael Keaton. “Spotlight” is rated R. Rating of 3 for fans of the stars.


Trumbo—Bryan Cranston takes on the role of writer Dalton Trumbo, who was Hollywood blacklisted in the 1940’s when it was alleged he was a communist. Trumbo fought this, but the blacklist remained. “Trumbo” is rated R. Rating of 2 for fans of the star.


NOVEMBER 13, 2015…


The 33 with Antonio Banderas as one of the Chilean miners trapped underground.


By The Sea with Angelina Jolie-Pitt and Brad Pitt is a commentary on married life with problems.


Love The Coopers stars Diane Keaton in a comedy about a family gathering at Christmas.


Shelter has Jennifer Connelly in a drama about being homeless. Directed by her husband, Paul Bettany.


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