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PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION: 20151015
WELCOME TO THE SHOW!
I live a very sedentary lifestyle. I never go out and exercise, my job has me sitting or standing around not moving hardly at all, and my diet is abhorrent. So I’ve decided to begin a new exercise program at home every day. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times before it doesn’t work anymore…
And now, even though we already get far too much hate mail as it is, (STATION) courageously presents (THE JOCK SHOW)!
BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY
“But whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” –John 4:14
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. –Isaiah 40:29
“I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” — Jeremiah 29:11
HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge … — Psalm 91:4
Thought: Life is filled with many uncertainties. You never know when something unexpected is going to happen. You have no idea when the next disaster will strike. In a world filled with hate and terrorism, none of us has a clue when the next horrible atrocity will take place. So what do we do when we can’t be sure of our circumstances? We take shelter under the wing of the One who is above all circumstances! We take assurance in our Father who has promised to bring us to himself no matter what may happen today … in our world … and to our bodies. Our lives are hidden with our Father because we’ve been joined to Christ. He is our Refuge! His wings are our shelter!
Prayer: Father, what words can I offer that are sufficient to thank and praise you for your deliverance that is greater than death? You are the Alpha and the Omega. You are the God who was and is and is to come. You are my Abba Father, who has adopted me and made me your own. I place my trust, my hope, and future in you and I will not be afraid. I find my refuge under your wings! All praise to you in the name of Jesus. Amen.
“BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY
The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!
John 10:15 NIV = just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep.
TODAY IS THURSDAY – OCTOBER 15, 2015
(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 71 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.
NATIONAL GROUCH DAY, a day to be grumpy, ungrateful, and cantankerous. ***MARLAR: In other words, me before I have my first barrel of coffee.
Today is MY MOM IS A STUDENT DAY, a time for children to support student moms with small school gifts. ***MARLAR: It’s also the one chance to pack your mom the lunch that you’ve always wanted her to pack for you. Peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwich, double-pack of Jell-O puddings, bag of Munchos and a thermos of Red Bull.
TODAY IS ALSO. . .
Blind Americans Equality Day
International Day of Rural women
I Love Lucy Day
National Cake Decorating Day
National Grouch Day
COMING UP NEXT
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 16
Department Store Day
National Sunday School Teacher Appreciation Day
World Toy Camera Day
World Food Day
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 17
Black Poetry Day
International Day for the Eradication of Poverty
National Clean Your Virtual Desktop Day
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 18
World Menopause Day
MONDAY, OCTOBER 19
Evaluate Your Life Day
Support Your Local Chamber of Commerce Day
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 20
Birth of the Bab
Miss American Rose Day
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 21
Global Iodine Deficiency Disorder (IDD) Prevention Day
Support Your Local Chamber of Commerce
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 22
Caps Locks Day
International Stuttering Awareness Day
Smart is Cool Day
ON THIS DAY
1520: King Henry the 8th of England ordered that bowling lanes be built at Whitehall in London.
1903: Gordon Nance was born in Pattonsburg, Missouri. As “Wild Bill” Elliot, he was the first movie cowboy to wear his guns backwards. He starred in the Saturday serial “The Great Adventures of Wild Bill Hickock” and played Red Ryder in both serials and feature films. He died in 1965.
1927: Frank Elliott and George Scott completed a trip of 4,759 miles across Canada in a Model-T Ford with no engine. They had been towed by 168 passing motorists from Halifax to Vancouver. It took 89 days. ***MARLAR: Gee, I wish I could take 89 day to go off and do nothing of consequence. (Or is that what I do everyday already?)
1951: “I Love Lucy,” starring Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, premiered on CBS-TV. New episodes were produced for six years, CBS re-ran episodes through 1961, and syndicated reruns still play every day somewhere.
1966: A McKinney, Texas, man set a record by committing 10 traffic offenses in 20 minutes. He drove on the wrong side of the street four times, was involved in four hit-and-run accidents, and caused six other accidents. ***MARLAR: Sounds like he was born in (LOCAL TOWN).
1991: Students at Harrison Hot Springs, British Columbia, built history’s tallest sand castle. Using only hands, buckets, and shovels, they built a castle 19.5 feet tall.
1996: A Delta Airlines jet was forced to abandon take-off plans in Salt Lake City when a 490-pound gorilla named Vip got tired of flying and started shaking up the cargo hold. Vip had already flown from Boston with a stop in Cincinnati. He completed his trip to Seattle in a truck.
1998: ElmaJean Donnelly of New Castle, Pennsylvania, won $2,000 and a new slip-cover after voters declared she owned the ugliest couch in America. ElmaJean’s 21-year-old couch won over 1,200 other ugly couches in the Surefit Slip Cover company’s Ugliest Couch Contest.
2001: Taxi driver Elaine Crame of Lambourn, England, finally changed her mind and agreed to marry garage manager Jim Enevoldsen. He’d been asking “morning, noon, and night” for 17 years. Jim said, “It just goes to show you must never give up.”
TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY
1784: Birth of Thomas Hastings, American sacred composer. Hastings was an albino afflicted with extreme nearsightedness, yet from his pen came such enduring hymn tunes as TOPLADY (“Rock of Ages”) and ORTONVILLE (“Majestic Sweetness Sits Enthroned”).
1790: Ann Teresa Mathews (aka Mother Bernardina) and Frances Dickinson founded a convent of Discalced Carmelites (a contemplative working order) in Port Tobacco, Maryland. It was the first Catholic convent founded in the United States.
1840: In Melville, Missouri, the Evangelical Synod of North America was founded. It later became one of the branches of today’s United Church of Christ.
1900: Pentecostal evangelist Charles Fox Parham opened Bethel Bible Institute in Topeka, Kansas. It was here on January 1, 1901 that the first Christian in modern times was reported to have spoken in tongues: student Agnes Ozman.
1948: American missionary martyr Jim Elliot wrote in his journal: ‘”They shall mount up with wings as eagles” (Isa. 40:31). These wings are not so typical of purity as they are of power — strength to live above snares and everything else…Thanks for wings, Lord.’
HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS
- Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson, 56
- Chef Emeril Lagasse, 56
- Actress (Julie Rogers on TV’s “Charlie’s Angels”) Tanya Roberts, 60 (
- Actress (“Laverne & Shirley” and director of Big and A League Of Their Own) Penny Marshall, 73 (
- Actress (“Alice”) Linda Lavin, 78 (
(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)
1906 : Victoria Spivey
1913 : David Carroll
1925 : Mickey Baker (Mickey & Sylvia)
1937 : Barry McGuire (The New Christy Minstrels)
1938 : Marv Johnson
1942 : Chris Andrews
1942 : Don Stevenson (Moby Grape)
1943 : Barry Sadler
1946 : Richard Carpenter (The Carpenters)
1948 : Chris DeBurgh
1951 : Frank Dimino (Angel)
1953 : Tito Jackson (The Jacksons)
1970 : Ginuwine
SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE
How did Noxema get its name?
Noxema, the skin cream invented in 1914 by Baltimore pharmacist George Bunting, was originally sold as “Dr. Bunting’s Sunburn Remedy”. Mr. Bunting changed the name to Noxema after a customer enthusiastically told him the cream had “knocked out his eczema”. Thus, the cream that “knocks eczema” became “Noxema”.
CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS
Do you like the Christian Artist News you see below? It’s just a tiny sample of the 5-6 pages of material you could be receive every weekday… and it’s FREE! Become one of their subscribers at ChristianRadioShowPrepServices.com!
The Sidewalk Prophets say travel is a big part of tour life. One days travel over the weekend included a 6 hour van ride, a 5 hour plane ride, and than another 2 hour van ride.
Legendary hymnwriter Fanny Crosby is well known for songs like Blessed Assurance, To God be the Glory, and All The Way My Savior Leads Me. In celebration of her legacy, Integrity music has taken several of Fanny’s unfinished songs, hidden away in a vault at Wheaton College, and offered them to leading worship leaders and songwriters. The result is a 15 song CD featuring worship leaders like Paul Baloche, Matt Redman, Meredith Andrews, Darlene Zschech, and Michael W. Smith. Blessed Assurance, The New Hymns of Fanny Crosby, released this past Friday.
October will be a busy month for Skillet front man Jon Foreman. During 2015 Jon is releasing a solo project called The Wonderlands. It features four EPs and Jon says the final installment comes out on October 23. That’s the day after his birthday and the day before he tries to play 25 shows in 24 hours.
Casting Crowns Jaun Devevo says progress isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. He tweeted: What good are easy access doors if I can’t even open them with a brownie in each hand?
Building 429’s campaign to encourage people to declare I AM UNASHAMED has reached over 2 MILLION people. Members of the band tweeted: we’re reminded to never underestimate the power of unified voice!
ODD & WEIRD NEWS…
|UConn mac and cheese incident spawns fundraisers photo
HARTFORD, Conn. (AP) — UConn students are trying to use an embarrassing video about macaroni and cheese to raise a little cheddar. The video of a fellow student berating food service workers who refused to sell him jalapeno-bacon mac and cheese prompted a group of students to start an online…
|Woman stops intruder with medieval combat skills, sword
INDIANAPOLIS (AP) — An Indiana woman says her training in medieval combat helped her corner a home intruder. The Indianapolis Star reports (http://indy.st/1OsFqSo) 43-year-old Karen Dolley of Indianapolis threw punches until she had the man cornered during the Thursday night break-in. She…
|Face-down dummy Halloween prank prompts repeated 911 calls photo
DETROIT (AP) — A dummy placed face down in a Detroit woman’s front yard as a Halloween prank has prompted repeated visits by police. HASH(0x1412030) By Friday, there were no calls. “Just a dummy,” says Officer Shanelle Williams. Haddon says she puts the dummy face down in a different location…
|Police: Teen left court docs about auto theft in stolen car
ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. (AP) — Authorities say an 18-year-old man drove a stolen car to police headquarters to pick up court papers about a previous auto theft he was involved in — documents that were found in yet another stolen car. Carnell Eugene Butler now faces charges in three stolen…
|Missing snake found under dryer tried to slither away
ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) — Elvis the king cobra put up a fight, even briefly escaping, as animal control officers tried to lure it from underneath a dryer in an Orlando woman’s garage. The snake had been missing from its owner’s home since Sept. 1 and was found Wednesday in the garage about a…
|Thai beauty queen to dress like a tuk-tuk at Miss Universe photo
BANGKOK (AP) — The smoke-belching, ear-splitting, undisciplined rickshaws known as tuk-tuks are part of the chaos on Bangkok’s clogged streets. Soon however, the tuk-tuk will stroll down a more refined runway, when Miss Thailand pays homage to her country at the Miss Universe 2015 pageant…
|Prosecutors: Man posed as agent to get VIP Comic Con passes
SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — Prosecutors say a Utah man posed as a federal agent in an attempt to get VIP tickets to a Comic Con event in Salt Lake City. Jonathon M. Wall was indicted Wednesday on federal charges after the 29-year-old Layton man allegedly claimed he needed passes to catch a fugitive…
|Police: Man drops wallet, gets arrested in 12 burglaries
SOUTH BRUNSWICK, N.J. (AP) — A man who lost his driver’s license while fleeing police used the van from the adult day care center where he worked to commit burglaries of several vehicles in central New Jersey, police said. Jarred Robinson, of Franklin, was arrested in at least a dozen…
|Sleeping Idaho hunter wakes up to black bear biting his head photo
BOISE, Idaho (AP) — A hunter asleep in the remote Idaho wilderness woke up when he felt something tugging on his hair. Then he heard the black bear breathing. Stephen Vouch, 29, reached behind his head and felt it was wet. He yelled when he realized a bear was biting at his head. “He got a…
|‘Lucky’ pig gets new home after fall onto Colorado highway
LONGMONT, Colo. (AP) — A 650-pound pig that fell off a trailer in Colorado is getting a new name — “Lucky” — and a new home at a sanctuary for abandoned pigs. HASH(0x13ec480) The Weld County Sheriff’s Office couldn’t find the 3-year-old pig’s owner, so the boar was given to Hog Haven Farm…
|Pricey pooch: $10K dog found after being reported stolen
BEAVERDAM, Va. (AP) — Call it the caper of the pricey pooch. The Hanover County Sheriff’s Office says in a press release Friday that it has found a rare South African mastiff valued at $10,000 after the dog was reported stolen by its owner. Officials say the dog, which weighs 175 pounds, was…
HEALTH & FITNESS NEWS…
|Gun violence researchers becoming an endangered species? photo
NEW YORK (AP) — Amid the bloodbaths of 21st-century America, you might think that there would be a lot of research into the causes of gun violence, and which policies work best against it. You would be wrong. Gun interests, wary of any possible limits on weaponry, have successfully lobbied…
|Gene editing: Research spurs debate over promise vs. ethics photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — The hottest tool in biology has scientists using words like revolutionary as they describe the long-term potential: wiping out certain mosquitoes that carry malaria, treating genetic diseases like sickle-cell, preventing babies from inheriting a life-threatening disorder. It…
|US boosts privacy protection on health insurance website photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — Responding to criticism from civil liberties advocates, the Obama administration said Friday it has strengthened consumer privacy protections on the government’s health insurance website as a new sign-up season nears. HealthCare.gov CEO Kevin Counihan said in a blog post…
|Research beefing up steaks, hamburgers with healthy omega-3s photo
WICHITA, Kan. (AP) — Health-conscious consumers might be persuaded to eat more beef if it was fortified with heart-healthy omega-3 fatty acids naturally found in salmon and walnuts, according to researchers and some ranchers who are feeding cattle flaxseed — even marine algae —…
|Studies say 1/3 of young men in China to die from smoking photo
BEIJING (AP) — Research published in the medical journal The Lancet says one in three of all the young men in China are likely to die from tobacco, but that the number can fall if the men quit smoking. The studies, conducted by researchers from Oxford University, the Chinese Academy of…
|Family of Ebola nurse complains of ill treatment in Scotland
LONDON (AP) — The family of a British nurse who has been re-admitted to hospital with Ebola complications says she received bad medical advice in Scotland when she fell ill. Pauline Cafferkey is in London Royal Free Hospital’s isolation ward after becoming ill in Scotland. She was thought to…
|Measure to repeal California vaccine law won’t be on ballot
SACRAMENTO, Calif. (AP) — Proponents of an effort to repeal California’s new stricter law requiring mandatory vaccines for school children failed to submit enough signatures to qualify a ballot initiative asking voters to repeal the law. County election clerks reported receiving fewer than…
|Why is elephant cancer rare? Answer might help treat humans photo
CHICAGO (AP) — Cancer is much less common in elephants than in humans, even though the big beasts’ bodies have many more cells. That’s a paradox known among scientists, and now researchers think they may have an explanation — one they say might someday lead to new ways to protect people…
|Johnson & Johnson starts Ebola vaccine trial in Sierra Leone photo
NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. (AP) — Johnson & Johnson has begun clinical trials for an Ebola vaccine in Sierra Leone. The vaccine regimen is part of a new study being conducted in that nation’s Kambia district, where some of the country’s most recent Ebola cases have been reported. More than 11,000…
|UN: Polio vaccines in Ukraine safe despite local concerns photo
LONDON (AP) — The World Health Organization says it’s worried that millions of doses of polio vaccine might be wasted in Ukraine after a patient group raised concerns that the doses are unsafe. The U.N. health agency announced last month that the crippling disease had been identified in…
|Researcher: Children’s cancer linked to Fukushima radiation photo
TOKYO (AP) — A new study says children living near the Fukushima nuclear meltdowns have been diagnosed with thyroid cancer at a rate 20 to 50 times that of children elsewhere, a difference the authors contend undermines the government’s position that more cases have been discovered in the…
(None on the weekends)
NEW NEWS KICKERS…
Every person emits a unique blend of microbes into the air, and this “microbial cloud” is personalized enough that it could be used to identify people. Accord to CBS news, a new study finds that trillions of bacteria live on and in the human body. Together, these bacteria make up what researchers call the human microbiome. In the experiment, eight people were asked to sit in the chamber for two 90-minute periods. Researchers say: we were surprised to find that we could identify most of the occupants just by sampling their microbial cloud. ***Mostly, that we all resemble Pigpen from the Peanuts comic strip a lot more than we’d like.
Danville, Kentucky, police were called to the Kentucky State BBQ Festival after a dispute was reported between contestants who were sharing a cooker. One of the contestants told officers she was hit in the shoulder, neck and head by the slab of hot meat. Police said the other contestant threw the brisket because he lost his temper but “didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt.” ***This just in: flinging burgers is now a misdemeanor.
A drunk, one-legged man in the UK was so frustrated with a flat tire that he started shooting at a mechanic’s garage with an air rifle. Police arrested the man, who admitted he’d been drinking. *** A man with one leg, an air rifle, and drinking… are we sure this isn’t an episode of “Trailer Park Boys”?
Selfie-related accidents have killed more people worldwide this year than shark attacks have. Conde Nast Traveler reports that 11 people had died during selfie accidents, while eight people worldwide were killed in shark attacks. ***The lesson here is simple. Stop taking selfies.
A Vermont chocolate factory worker apparently hated his job enough to want to get fired, so he allegedly called in a bomb threat. Police say 22-year-old Kristofer Pregent stole a co-worker’s cellphone and made the false threat under a different worker’s name to the Barry Callebaut chocolate factory in St. Albans. They say Pregent then threw the phone in a toilet tank. ***Calling in a false bomb threat is one thing – but dropping someone else’s phone into a toilet? That’s grounds for justifiable homicide!
NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…
Driving with your pets can be a dangerous business. -In a recent survey by the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety and Kurgo, a pet product company, an overwhelming 80 percent of respondents said they’ve driven with their pets on a variety of car trips including day trips, local errands and leisure trips, the pet store, dog parks and to work. But only 17 percent said they use any form of pet restraint system when driving with their dog, causing a distraction AAA says is equal to talking on a cell phone or texting while driving. ***MARLAR: Even if you’re using your Pointer as a GPS.
A new national poll indicates four in ten Americans say they are willing to give up some civil liberties to fight terrorism. ***MARLAR: I say we reinstate the draft and toss those people into the army first.
Astronomers are puzzled by a blank spot in the universe they say is 600 million trillion miles of nothing. ***MARLAR: They’ve decided to name it “Kansas.”
Lasers beamed from space have discovered that there are massive flowing lakes of water underneath all that ice in Antarctica. ***MARLAR: Wait a minute – they have giant laser beams aimed at the South Pole? And they’re blaming global warming for melting glaciers?!?!
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Semi-Conductors”
DAILY COMEDY CLIP
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Scott Gregory, “Sleeping Bags”
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THURSDAY’S EPISODE
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, Louis the lion – made king of the jungle by all the rest of the animals – found out that being king is a really big responsibility, and decided he didn’t want to be king any longer. So now all of the animals are out looking for a new animal to take over the throne – and it’s not going well!
CLOSE: Sounds like they’re getting closer to finding a king… at least they’ve found some kingly, uh… stuff. Tune in again next time for another episode of As the Jungle Turns!
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF OCTOBER 17/18, 2015
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! When last we left the jungle, Gruffy Bear was tied up, gagged, and tossed into the river by the animals, led by Millard the Monkey, because Gruffy refused to settle on a picnic spot. But it wasn’t long before Millard was treated the same way by Sully the Aardvark… but now Sully’s floating down the river!
CLOSE: Tune in next time, as FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you another exciting episode of As the Jungle Turns!
***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of As the Jungle Turns in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us.
MOMENT OF DUH
Sometimes, only one mistake on a test can get you a failing grade… especially if you’re taking a drivers test!
A young (Portage) Indiana woman’s goal of getting her driver’s license crashed — right into the license branch. The 20-year-old woman was pulling into a parking spot outside the license branch when she hit the accelerator instead of the brake. The car jumped a small curb and went into the building, tearing out a large glass window and damaging a door and low brick wall. Neither the driver nor the examiner were injured. But, of course, the driver failed the test.
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU’VE ALREADY GROWN UP
- Your potted plants stay alive.
- 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
- You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
- You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.
- Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as ‘dressed up’.
- You’re the one calling the police because those kids next door don’t know how to turn down the stereo.
- You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
- Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
- You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s.
- Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER
Going postal isn’t always a bad thing.
FILE #1: Postal workers in Bakersfield, California, came to the rescue when a man was beaten while trying to stop a thief from grabbing his wife’s purse. James Govea tried to take an elderly woman’s purse and when her husband tried to stop him, Govea punched him in the face. That’s when several workers inside the post office stepped out to step in. Police said the workers grabbed Govea and literally sat on him until police arrived on scene. Govea was arrested for attempted robbery. ***MARLAR: It’s a kindler, gentler version of “going postal”.
FILE #2: Hans Becker decided to rob a branch of the Austrian Savings Bank. He made two fatal errors. One, he didn’t wear a disguise of any kind and, two, he chose the bank where he was a customer and was known by many of the employees. After he left with his cash, the teller called the cops and told them who had just robbed the bank. And to make it even easier for the cops, they didn’t have very far to go to find him. He headed straight to a bar down the street where he proceeded to celebrate his new found wealth with several bar hostesses, guzzling down five bottles of champagne. Not surprisingly, the police said he offered no resistance when they arrested him.
FILE #3: A Chicago man recently wanted to impress his wife, so he came up with this plan that ,he thought, would do the trick. The plan was to go down to the local high school and hire a couple of young guys, give them ski masks, have them “break-in” and “rob” the house and, of course, tie up his wife. He then would come home and save his wife from the “robbers” by chasing them out of the house. So far sounds like a great plan, right? And it would have worked. But the only problem is his wife put up a good fight and was able to call 911 before he could swoop in. The husband was arrested for organizing a crime.
STRANGE LAW: In England, a bed may not be hung out of a window.
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS
Rodney Northey knows how to get the attention of police.
Blowing his horn — over and over. Officers in Glen Falls, New York, pulled over Northey for excessive horn blowing and ended up charging him with drunken driving. Police say Northey told them he wanted to let people in the downtown bars know he was in town.
Tell us your driver’s test nightmare story!
BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!
QUESTION: The tower of Siloam fell and killed how many people?
ANSWER: Eighteen (Luke 13:4)
QUESTION: What’s the world record for the most hours a single radio personality stayed on the air?
ANSWER: 104 hours, set by a radio personality in Malaysia in the year 2000
TRUE OR FALSE
Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!
- The ‘huddle’ in football was formed due to a deaf player. (True – the player used sign language to communicate and his team didn’t want the opposition to see the signals he used and in turn huddled around him.)
- The distance between the pitcher’s rubber and home plate in baseball is 70 feet, 6 inches. (False – it’s 60 feet, 6 inches.)
- Potatoes have more than twice the calories of an apple. (False – they have about the same calories. One has to eat 11 pounds of potatoes to put on 1 pound of weight.)
- Despite what you were taught, Leonardo da Vinci could not truly write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time. (False – he really could.)
- Sharon Stone was the first Star Search spokesmodel. (True)
- In 1969, the first Wendy’s Old Fashioned Hamburgers restaurant opened in downtown Toledo, Ohio. (False – it was Columbus, Ohio)
- Sylvester Stallone once had a job as a lion cage cleaner. (True)
- In 1965, the price for an issue of TV Guide was 15 cents. (True)
- In the movie “The Wizard Of Oz,” Toto the dog’s salary was $125 a week, while Judy Garland was $500 a week. (True)
- The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. (True)
TABLOID MATCH GAME
You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!
“City Sues Man For __________ In His Backyard!” (Digging Hole To China)
The Weekly World News reports in Granada Hills, CA, from the time David Pines was five, he loved to dig holes. His parents thought it was cute but now it’s an obsession and the 45-year-old man has been sued for $3 million by the city for digging a hole to China in his backyard. “The guy must be nuts,” noted city inspector Dick Wentworth. “When neighbors called to complain that Mr. Pines was digging all day and night, I figured he was planting tomatoes or something. “But when I inspected his yard, I almost plotzed. The hole went all the way to Asia, man. Talk about violations.” Pines told Weekly World News: “Digging gives me a reason to live. And since I love original Chinese food, I figured why not tunnel to China.” The city claims it will cost millions to fill the hole. Asked if he’s afraid he might be sent to jail, Pines grinned. “If I do, I’ll just tunnel out.”
THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY
A one-dollar bill met a twenty-dollar bill and said, “Hey, where have you been? I haven’t seen you around here much.”
The twenty answered, “I’ve been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds on the ship, back to the United States for a while, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?”
The one dollar bill said, “You know, same old stuff – church, church, church.”
After finishing an out-of-town errand, Jan discovered that her car wouldn’t start because it was out of gas. A passer-by told her there was a service station a half-mile away, so she took a gas can from the trunk and trudged the distance in the sweltering sun. The attendant filled the two-gallon can, and Jan lugged it back and poured the gas into the tank. But when she tried to unlock the car door, it wouldn’t open. Just then, Jan noticed an identical old car parked a short distance away. That was her car. She had filled a stranger’s gas tank. Wearily Jan walked back to the station. The attendant suggested helpfully, “You know, instead of walking back and forth to fill the tank from the can, you could put a couple of gallons in the tank and then drive the car here.”
While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”
“No problem, just let me in,” says the man.
“Well, I’d like to, but I have l orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”
“Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the senator.
“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises…
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
“Now it’s time to visit heaven.”
So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.”
The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.”
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. “I don’t understand,” stammers the senator. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted.”
A report says math scores have come up a bit for U.S. 4th and 8th graders. ***MARLAR: Most kids today spend a lot of time working with big numbers. Channel 79, channel 80, channel 81…
In Arizona a Fed Ex truck was impounded and several people arrested when it was found illegal aliens were being brought across the border in the truck. ***MARLAR: They absolutely, positively, had to get to America overnight.
Married couples who live in a red state are 27% more likely to get divorced than couples who live in a blue state. ***MARLAR: Which is odd, because you’d think the ones in a state labeled as blue would be the one feeling blue.
KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS!
First grade kids finishing famous proverbs:
- Better be safe then … punch a 5th grader.
- Strike while the … bug is close.
- It’s always darkest before … daylight savings time.
- Don’t bite the hand that … looks dirty.
- You can’t teach an old dog new … math.
- If you lie down with the dogs, you’ll … stink in the morning.
- Where there’s smoke, there’s … pollution.
IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!
Imagine being separated from your brother at birth – but later discovering him working right next to you working at the furniture store!
36-year-old Gary Nisbet and 35-year-old Randy Joubert both work at Dow Furniture Removals in Waldoboro, Maine. Co-workers would always say they looked so much alike they could be brothers. Turns out they are. Apparently both men were given up for adoption as babies, then attended rival high schools and lived in neighboring towns on the Maine coast. Their first meeting came this last July when they started working at Dow Furniture. Both men knew the names of their biological parents — both who have since died — and through casual conversations uncovered their amazing story. Randy said he was “star-struck and blown away” and just couldn’t believe it. After the brothers’ story was covered by local media, they also discovered a half-sister, 41-year-old Joanne Campbell, who turned up at their workplace with her birth certificate. (Ananova)
DEATH IS NOT AN OPTION
As I sit here and I wonder why
Somewhere, some way we all must die
Do we believe we can miss the boat
Somehow redirect its path without cutting our throat
Can we fly south or take a sabbatical to France
Can we miss life’s most infamous dance
No matter how far you travel or where you go
Death will be there to answer the door
There is no option when it comes to death
No matter how healthy or how much wealth
There is no road that will lead you astray
No miraculous prayer that will save the day
Death has been promised to all kind
Nothing lives forever that is the design
Now life after death that’s the true story
The only way there is in Gods’ Glory!
Now you must pay attention if you have the need to live on
There are some basic instructions that will not steer you wrong
Try picking this up when you see the next paper or hardback
Some wonderful instructions to help keep your life on track
A book that shares the covenant that can fulfill your every need
Just try it, read it, embed it in your life and you will see
Open it wide and ride its pages
Because the death you seek holds no wages
The wages of sin carry eternal death
But, The Word of God has eternal wealth
God has promised that death for believers is only a sleep
Don’t you want to rise again when the Shepherd calls his sheep
So, Be faithful and true, and know life gets better not worse
Because in his word he promised the dead in Christ shall rise first!
–Alicia A Entzminger
DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL
NO MANNA STORES
Then the Lord said to Moses, “I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow My instructions.” –Exodus 16:4
When God took the nation of Israel through the desert, there was one thing the people simply could not do outside of God alone: They could not provide for themselves. They could not plant. They could not harvest. They could not manufacture. It was a place and time where nothing but complete dependence was the rule. God gave manna one day at a time. The manna spoiled the day after, so they could never store it. They could not go to the manna store to get more. They couldn’t start a manna business to capitalize on all the free manna. I can tell you from personal experience that when God takes you to the desert, there is nothing you can do to change it until He wants to change it, so do not strive against God in the desert place.
What was the purpose of this restrictive time in their lives? Why did God have to keep them from using any of these abilities to earn on their own? It was a season to build trust and reliance on God. They had relied on the “manna” of Egypt for so long that He needed to change their whole nature of looking to Egypt as their provider to looking to God as their provider. This boot camp was to be only for a season. However, what should have been less than a 30-day journey took 40 years because of the hardness of their hearts. They never passed the test God gave them.
Has God taken you into the desert? Is He forcing you to depend wholly on His provision? Pray that you will learn the lessons God desires you to learn in the desert place. He will bring you out when He has accomplished all He wants to build in your life.
Remember that it is a season; you will not be there forever. He understands that no one can stay in a desolate place forever.
A new study suggests something encouraging for busy people: Every minute of movement counts toward the 150 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity we’re all supposed to be getting each week. University of Utah researchers found that each minute spent engaging in some kind of moderate to vigorous physical activity was associated with lower Body Mass Index and lower weight. OK, that seems kind of obvious. But according to the current physical activity national guidelines, “aerobic activity should be performed in episodes of at least 10 minutes,” and the everyday stuff, like walking the dog or climbing a flight of stairs, “aren’t long enough to count toward meeting the Guidelines.” This new paper, published today in the American Journal of Health Promotion, suggests that reaching those two and a half hours minute by minute is just fine. ***MARLAR: How many calories do I burn by jumping to conclusions?
LIFE… LIVE IT
HOW IS YOUR MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP? WE HAVE A TEST TO FIND OUT!
Some people think that money determines how well a marriage will work. Others think it’s the number of kids you have. Still others believe that your love life reveals the soundness of a marriage. However, some experts say it’s how you fight that determines whether your marriage will succeed or fail. For each other following questions, give yourself 1 point if you and your partner almost never experience the situation, 2 points if you sometimes experience the situation, 3 points if you experience the situation frequently.
- Little arguments escalate into ugly fights with accusations, criticism, name-calling or bringing up past hurts. 1 never, 2 sometimes, 3 frequently.
- My partner criticizes or belittles my opinions, feelings or desires. 1 never, 2 sometimes, 3 frequently.
- My partner seems to view my words or actions more negatively than I mean them to be. 1 never, 2 sometimes, 3 frequently.
- When we have a problem to solve, it is like we are on opposite teams. 1 never, 2 sometimes, 3 frequently.
- I hold back from telling my partner what I really think or feel. 1 never, 2 sometimes, 3 frequently.
- I think seriously about what it would be like to date or marry someone else. 1 never, 2 sometimes, 3 frequently.
- I feel lonely in this relationship. 1 never, 2 sometimes, 3 frequently.
- When we argue, one of us withdraws. 1 never, 2 sometimes, 3 frequently.
- 8 to 12 points: Your relationship is probably in great shape. However, always work to keep it that way.
- 13 to 17 points: Consider this a yellow light. You need to be cautious. While you may be happy now, there are some warning signs… patterns that you don’t want to worsen. Take action to improve and protect what you have.
- 18 to 24 points: This is a red light. Stop and think about where the two of you are headed. Your score indicates the existence of patterns that could put your relationship at serious risk. You may be headed for trouble, or may already be there. But there is some good news. You can stop and learn ways to improve your relationship now.
JUST FOR FUN
Have you ever gotten a telephone call from someone shortly after thinking about them? Turns out, you’re psychic!
…Researcher Rupert Sheldrake says he has proof of what he calls telephone telepathy. In his study, people were asked to give researchers names and phone numbers of four relatives or friends. They then had those people call the subject in the study who had to identify the caller before answering the phone. Those people got the caller right nearly half of the time. He says the odds against it being purely chance are 1,000 billion to one. He said he got the same result with people being asked to name one of four people sending them an e-mail before it arrived. However, the study involved just 63 people, so many are skeptical.
THINGS YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT BABIES
- The top 3 reasons for crying are: 1) The baby is hungry. 2) The baby is teething. 3) The baby knows you have to be at work at 5:30 in the morning and thinks it’s funny.
- The only thing funnier to a baby than Dora the Explorer is seeing you trip and hit your head on the coffee table.
- Babies are naturally curious about things, such as, “I wonder what daddy’s business suit would look like with half a jar of strained peas spit onto it?”
- While babies are harder to care for than cats, they don’t tend to shed as much.
MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…
Soon there could be something “fishy” about your baby’s diapers. Srinivasan Damodaran, a University of Wisconsin food scientist, has patented a process that turns ground-up fish into an absorbent, biodegradable gel that could be used in diapers. The scientist claims his product will absorb 400 times its own weight in water, while disposable diapers absorb only around 100 times their own weight. The diapers are allegedly more environmentally friendly, as the fish-based gel deteriorates in landfills within 28 days, while other petroleum based gels break down much more slowly.
OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP
No need to fly to Massachusetts to see the leaves turning this year. An entrepreneur wants to sell you a envelope of autumn foliage instead. According to NBC News, ShipFoliage.com, offers to send a mix of red, yellow, and orange-colored leaves right to customers’ doorsteps. Bostonian Kyle Waring, who carefully selects the leaves, then preserves them, started the business. Each bundle includes three leaves, in a mix of colors, for $19.99, plus shipping. He says the site booked 50 orders in the first 20 hours online.
In Kenya, 12% of children don’t live to see their fifth birthday. Of those still living, nearly two million live without food, shelter, and their parents. According to Mission Network News, Disease, poverty, and sickness run rampant throughout the country’s rural villages. But, in the midst of despair, one organization is making a difference: Kids Alive International. The organization partners with churches in America to provide a connection between the church and communities in Kenya, allowing the church to see firsthand how their gifts are being used.
We’ve all heard that October is Clergy Appreciation Month. But how do you practically show your pastor you appreciate him? Focus on the Family’s Thriving Pastor web site is coming to the rescue. They have a free guide full of great tips and ideas as well as many other suggestions and resources at their web site. http://www.thrivingpastor.com/clergyappreciation/
AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT
Without time, everything would happen all at once.
THE WAY WE WORK
(Updated as it comes available. The Way WE Work is written by Mark Elfstrand from 1160Hope.com in Chicago.)
They call a certain stretch of water in the Caribbean “Hurricane Alley.” Severe storms in that region are common. Captains of sailing vessels know enough to consider the warnings and plan accordingly.
But even skilled sailors and captains of ships are no match for forces well beyond their control. Thus was the fate recently of the cargo ship El Faro. It left port in Jacksonville, Florida, almost two weeks ago…never to return. Along with its sinking went the souls of thirty-three crew.
Experts continue to debate the wisdom of the decision to sail, let alone to take that specific route. There is no clear cut answer. The storm turned treacherous quicker than estimated — jumping past hurricane categories 1, 2, and 3, until it settled at 4.
What that meant for these sailors was a horrifying congestion of wind, waves, and rain. The seas were raging at 50 feet. Winds howling at 125 miles per hour. As the ship listed some 15 degrees with its full load of containers and cars, it began taking on water. It wasn’t long after that the engine failed. Steering was now impossible.
No survivors were found. There was one body that surfaced in a survival suit meant to keep people afloat. Other than that, a cargo door, an empty lifeboat, and a range of flotsam and jetsam is all that could be immediately found.
It’s important to note that, despite all of our advancements, we still have these sailing tragedies today. And this one happened in a relatively short course sailing run of 1200 miles! Today’s maritime world has sophisticated weather equipment, advanced navigation, and sailing technology. Lifeboats for everyone. Survival suits.
Makes you wonder, on this Columbus Day, how they made it from Spain to cross the Atlantic in the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria. The Santa Maria ran aground near Haiti and came apart. Oops.
The other two ships were smaller and each carried about 25 men. Close quarters, my friend. Probably no antiperspirant.
As one history site notes, “All told, there were about 120 crewmen for the combined fleet. They lived on hard biscuit, salted meat, and fish. They drank beer and water. Of course, they could not drink sea-water because of the high salt content. In that day they had not yet developed methods for distilling the sea-water to remove the salt. Living conditions were difficult.” Ya think?
The article goes on to explain that the sailors slept on a hard deck, often exposed to the weather. And because of fire danger aboard a wooden ship, any fire needed had to be strictly controlled. And cooking was done in the forward part of the ship.
And lest we forget the importance of this historic day, a few more notes from an article titled “THE FOUR EXPLORATIONS OF CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS”:
“Early on the morning of October 12th land was indeed sighted, and a landing party arrived on an island in the Bahamas and named it San Salvador. It had been thirty-three days since the three ships had left the Canary Islands, off the Atlantic coast of Africa. The natives must have been surprised to hear that their island now belonged to Spain. Over the next few weeks landings were also made on Cuba, named Juana by Columbus, and Española, now known as Hispaniola, and shared by the Dominican Republic and Haiti.
“Columbus’ ships covered approximately 150 miles a day. His seafaring instincts were extraordinary. Columbus relied on “dead reckoning,” which used not only navigational instruments but also experience, intuition, observations, and guesswork to determine his ships’ positions.”
Now I realize that in this current age there are mixed reviews on the motives and behavior of the Columbus expeditions. For my purposes today, I’ll leave you to your own conclusions. (You should read the original documents and diaries.)
My point in sharing both of these stories is twofold: 1) to show that people have taken great risks and made tremendous sacrifices for our betterment, and 2) some jobs, more than others, require bravery in the face of known risks. Or call it courage.
Your job, whatever it is, may require another kind of courage. Making tough decisions. Knowing when to step out on your own. Handling employee challenges. In looking at a candidate for a job, we underestimate the importance of courage.
In the face of our challenges, when courage is needed most, it is comforting to know we can seek help from One whose power knows no limits.
As the Psalmist writes, “You answer us in amazing ways, God our Savior. People everywhere on the earth and beyond the sea trust you. You made the mountains by your strength; you are dressed in power. You stopped the roaring seas, the roaring waves, and the uproar of the nations. Even those people at the ends of the earth fear your miracles. You are praised from where the sun rises to where it sets.” (Psalm 63:5-8, NCV)
Happy Columbus Day. May you have smooth sailing.
That’s The Way WE Work.
THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER
Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).
OCTOBER 09, 2015…
Knock Knock (opening in select cities)—We are getting closer to Halloween and here is a horror movie about someone’s mother starring in a movie, dying, and then reappearing in the film. Stars Taissa Farmiga. “Knock Knock” is rated R. No rating.
Pan (again!)—This is a different concept, indeed. Take the usual “Peter Pan” story and make it one with Blackbeard (Hugh Jackman) instead and the children he kidnaps, especially Peter (Levi Miller) work in his mines. Captain Hook is played by Garret Hedlund and something in the vein of Johnny Depp’s pirate characters. Tiger Lily is played by Rooney Mara. Ah, yes, not your usual story. “Pan” is rated PG 13. Rating of 2 for fans.
Steve Jobs—Michael Fassbinder takes on the role of Steve Jobs, who brought out Macintosh. This movie concentrates on a person who is working in an unusual electronic business. Quite a personality. Some liked him, some did not. Adapted from the book by Walter Isaacson. Jeff Daniels stars as Apple CEO John Sculley. “Steve Jobs” is rated PG 13. No rating.
OCTOBER 16, 2015…
Goosebumps has Jack Black as the real-life writer R. L. Stine in a film about Stine’s mystery books called “Goosebumps”.
Beasts of No Nation is a Netflix movie and stars Idris Elba in a story about a boy soldier in Africa.
Crimson Peak (opening in select cities) has Mia Wasikowska living in Northern England and is courted by a mysterious stranger, Tom Hiddleston.
Room stars Brie Larson as a woman, who with her son, is imprisoned by a vengeful man.
Bridge Of Spies is based on the true story of exchanging a Russian spy for an America pilot during the Cold War. Stars Tom Hanks.
Truth stars Robert Redford and Cate Blanchett in a political thriller.
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WARNING: Don’t believe anything you read on the Internet or email (including stuff you read here) unless you can confirm it with another source, and/or it is consistent with what you already know to be true. The opinions in this publication are not necessarily those of Darren Marlar, Marlar House Entertainment, OnAirPrep.com, or any company or organization affiliated with aforementioned. (Regardless of how stupid you may think those opinions are. So there – nyah!)
Darren Marlar credits all non-original material to the author whenever possible. All other material is original, used with permission, or author unknown. We welcome all comments, questions, and suggestions. Darren can be reached via his website at www.DarrenMarlar.com.