October 20, 2015: Tuesday ONAIRprep

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I’ll tell you how serious this coffee is: The receptionist is using it to remove her nail polish.




“Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things, just as your soul prospers.” –3 John 2


If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. –Matthew 6:14


Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. — Psalm 37:4




Break the arm of the wicked and evil man; call him to account for his wickedness that would not be found out. — Psalm 10:15


Thought: It is hard not to get discouraged when evil and wicked people get away with what is reprehensible. Christians on every continent have things that greatly trouble them about the evil perpetrated in their corner of the world as corrupt power abuses those who belong to God’s people. Let’s join together, believers from all around the world, and ask God to intervene in a clear, decisive way, and bring these days of violence and wickedness to an end!


Prayer: Holy and righteous Father, please break the power of wickedness that reigns in our world and bring it to an end. Make it clear that the fall of evil’s power is at the hand of the Lord Jesus. Lord Jesus, destroy every power that stands between God and us, and bring to a glorious beginning the eternal reign of your Kingdom. To your glory, Lord Jesus, and in your name I pray. Amen.


The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@heartlight.org.




The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!

Deuteronomy 10:20 NIV = Fear the LORD your God and serve him. Hold fast to him and take your oaths in his name.




(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)


Today is NATIONAL CHANGE YOUR OIL DAY.  ***MARLAR: Actually, with today’s oil prices, I might try to find a way to simply filter my oil through a paper towel and then pour it right back into the car.


Today is SHAMPOO DAY.  ***MARLAR: A good thing to do if it’s the oil in your HAIR that needs changing. Come to think of it, has anyone come up with a way to collect oil from your scalp to use in a car’s engine? Talk about a money-saver!


Today is BIRTH OF THE BAB, or NATIONAL BABBLING DAY. Even if no one else is in the room, go ahead and yak away. You’re not crazy — a new study shows that talking to yourself is great for your mental health. Swedish psychotherapist Per Naroskin says babbling to no one forces you to listen to yourself. As a result, you’ll develop talents you never knew existed, sleep better and work more efficiently. The solo chat is even more effective, says the author of “The Benefits Of Talking Loudly To Oneself,” if the tongue-wagger uses kooky accents and funny voices. Too shy to vocalize alone? Speak to your pet, a plant, your car or, like Tom Hanks in the movie “Castaway,” to a volleyball.




Miss American Rose Day





Celebration of The Mind Day

Unity Day

Hagfish Day

Information Overload Day

Global Iodine Deficiency Disorder (IDD) Prevention Day

Medical Assistants Recognition Day

Pro-Life Day of Silent Solidarity

Reptile Awareness Day

Support Your Local Chamber of Commerce



Caps Locks Day

International Stuttering Awareness Day

National Nut Day

Smart is Cool Day



iPod Day

National Mole Day

National Pharmacy Buyer Day

National Pharmacy Technician Day

Swallows Depart from San Juan Capistrano Day

TV Talk Show Host Day



Food Day

Make a Difference Day

Pit Bull Awareness Day

United Nations Day

World Development Information Day



Chucky, The Notorious Killer Doll Day

International Artists Day

Sourest Day

World Pasta Day

Mother-in-Law Day

Xterra World Championships



Howl At The Moon Night

Lung Health Day

Mule Day

National Day of the Deployed

Visit a Cemetery Day



Cranky Co-workers Day

Navy Day

World Day of Audiovisual Heritage




1865: In Windsor, England, Queen Victoria issued a Royal Proclamation fixing the permanent seat of the government of Canada at Ottawa. ***MARLAR: I’d like to get my permanent seat fixed at home – the La-Z-Boy needs some attention.


1955: “No Time For Sergeants” starring Andy Griffith opened on Broadway.


1974: California Angel Nolan Ryan threw the fastest recorded pitch in baseball history at Anaheim Stadium. The pitch was clocked at 100.9 miles an hour.


1989: Smith Dairy at Orrville, Ohio, made history’s largest milk shake: 1,575.2 gallons.


1999: The Houston Cougars ran up 1,021 yards against Southern Methodist University. The final score was 95-21.


1993: Archaeologists digging at a Stone Age village in Sweden reportedly discovered 9,000-year-old chewing gum.


1996: After being rushed to the emergency room, 78-year-old Gennaro Florio of Hamden, Connecticut, received a new pacemaker that had been on the market only three weeks. It had been designed by his son, Joseph Florio.


1996: Evelyn Noestmo of Malvik, Norway, was cooking up a pot of moose entrails for the family dog when she noticed a gold ring in the entrails. Her gold ring. Which she lost three years earlier while helping her husband push their car out of a snow drift. Her husband had bagged the moose nine miles from where she lost the ring.


1999: Columbus, Ohio, police arrested a 33-year-old man running down the street with a damaged cash register. The thief had vandalized a nearby tavern, but had ripped off only the top of the register and run off without the money.


2003: Jim Caviezel, the actor who played Jesus in Mel Gibson’s film “The Passion of Christ,” was not injured when he struck by lightning during filming in Italy. Producer Steve McEveety said he saw lightning coming out of Caviezel’s ears.




1802: Birth of Ernst W. Hengstenberg, German O.T. scholar. An outspoken defender of evangelical Christianity against the rationalism of his day, Hengstenberg’s most significant writing was his four-volume “Christology of the Old Testament.”


1828: Birth of American lawyer Horatio Gates Spafford. In 1873, upon learning of the drowning of his four daughters following a ship collision in the Atlantic, Spafford penned the lines to the hymn, “It is Well With My Soul.”


1892: Birth of Harry Dixon Loes, sacred music educator. A writer of gospel songs and choruses, it was Loes who composed the hymn tune REDEEMER (“Up Calvary’s Mountain, One Dreadful Morn”).


1908: Birth of Stuart Hamblen, country songwriter who flourished during the 1950s. His best-remembered Christian songs include “Known Only to Him,” “Beyond the Sunset,” and “It Is No Secret.”


1957: English apologist C.S. Lewis shared his longing for heaven in a letter: ‘It’ll be nice when we all wake up from this life, which has indeed something like a nightmare about it.’




  • Actress (“7th Heaven”) Ashlee Levitch, 38 (
  • Actor (Lord of the Rings, Hidalgo) Viggo Mortenson, 56
  • Actor (“The Waltons”) Eric Scott, 57 (
  • Actor (Father Francis Mulcahy on “M*A*S*H”) William Christopher, 82 (
  • Psychologist/author/actress Dr. Joyce Brothers, 86




(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)

1937 : Wanda Jackson

1950 : Tom Petty

1951 : Al Greenwood (Foreigner)

1958 : Mark King (Level 42)

1964 : Jim Sonefeld (Hootie & The Blowfish)

1972 : Snoop Dogg




Where did the expression “every cloud has a silver lining” originate?

This expression has been around since 1637, when it appeared as a line in one of John Milton’s poems: Was I deceiv’d, or did a sable cloud turn forth her silver lining on the night? It’s been a staple of song and verse ever since, appearing in Dickens’s Bleak House, Gilbert and Sullivan’s Mikado, and Noel Coward’s 1953 song “There Are Bad




Do you like the Christian Artist News you see below? It’s just a tiny sample of the 5-6 pages of material you could be receive every weekday… and it’s FREE! Become one of their subscribers at ChristianRadioShowPrepServices.com!


Casting Crowns Mark Hall declared one day last week: National Offended by Everyone Day. Mark admitted: I follow some people on Twitter just to see what they are against or offended by today


After virtually no sleep in four days due to a crazy road life schedule, Sidewalk Prophets guitarist Ben McDonald had some time off last week. However, he didn’t spend it sleeping. He and front man Dave Frey made it back to Chicago in time to attend a Cubs playoff game at Wrigley Field. Dave tweeted: Childhood dream come true. And it gets even better. They were there not one, but two nights in a row, and were able to see the Cubs defeat the St. Louis Cardinals and move on to the NL Division Championship series.


Jamie Grace isn’t much on dressing up. She shared: sometimes people are like “I like your sweats” and I’m like “um… these are my normal clothes.”


A release date has been announced for Gods Not Dead 2. Newsboys drummer Duncan Phillips reported this week that the new movie will be in theaters on April 1 of next year. The Newsboys were part of God’s Not Dead and also play a part in the new movie God’s Not Dead 2.


Colton Dixon announced his marriage plans at the Dove awards last week.  Colton said he’s getting married in January! Great way to start 2016!




Paramedic in wedding dress works crash on way to reception    photo
CLARKSVILLE, Tenn. (AP) — When Sarah Ray’s father and grandparents were in a car crash on the way to her wedding reception, the off-duty Tennessee paramedic rushed to the scene in her wedding dress. “My dad called my husband and said there had been an accident,” Sarah Ray said. “All he told…


Union says Pennsylvania health department has mold, asbestos
PITTSBURGH (AP) — A union and workers are complaining about unhealthy working conditions at an unlikely place: the offices of a Pennsylvania county health department. HASH(0x14027a0) The health department has issued a statement saying it’s “working proactively to address decades of deferred…
Jury: Boy not liable for exuberant hello that injured aunt
BRIDGEPORT, Conn. (AP) — A Connecticut jury on Tuesday rejected a woman’s bid to sue her 12-year-old nephew for injuries she says she suffered from his exuberant greeting at his birthday party four years ago. New York City resident Jennifer Connell claimed the Westport boy acted unreasonably…
Santa Claus elected to North Pole City Council
FAIRBANKS, Alaska (AP) — Santa Claus has been chosen to represent the people of North Pole. HASH(0x14086a0) He began campaigning in his red velvet suit just two weeks before the Oct. 6 election. Claus received 58 votes and a seat on the six-person Council. No official candidates had filed for…
Police offer marijuana grower counseling in Facebook post
DANBURY, N.H. (AP) — A New Hampshire police department that recently pulled up some marijuana plants has offered the pot grower counseling in a Facebook post. Monday’s post on the Danbury Police Department’s site says if the pot grower gets home, goes for a walk in the woods, finds the…
Pesky owl at Maryland park doesn’t give a hoot about runners
BETHESDA, Md. (AP) — Park officials are warning of an aggressive owl that is believed to have attacked runners on a popular trail in Bethesda, a Maryland suburb of the nation’s capital. At least three runners on the Capital Crescent Trail have reported being attacked by a large, pesky bird…
Church gives pizza driver $1,000 tip from collection plate
PICKERINGTON, Ohio (AP) — An Ohio church congregation ordered a pizza from Domino’s during a service, then tipped the driver more than $1,000 that it had been collected for the offering. The driver brought the $5.99 pizza to Sycamore Creek Church in Pickerington in suburban Columbus on Oct….
Student sorry for mac and cheese meltdown, says he’s ashamed    photo
HARTFORD, Conn. (AP) — A University of Connecticut student who went on an obscenity-laced tirade against food service workers when they refused to sell him jalapeno-bacon macaroni and cheese has apologized. Luke Gatti acknowledged in a 2 1/2-minute video posted online that he was drunk and…
Running couple says ‘I do’ at mile 8 of Chicago Marathon    photo
CHICAGO (AP) — One couple ran away to get married … at the Chicago Marathon. Stephanie Reinhart says she just wanted a “short and sweet ceremony.” Mark Jockel wanted a big wedding surrounded by friends and family. The 35-year-old Reinhart and 46-year-old Jockel compromised, marrying at the…
Swedish police find black flags and beards equal good deeds
HELSINKI (AP) — Alerted by a passer-by that bearded men with a black flag were acting suspiciously at a castle ruins in southern Sweden, police found to their relief that it wasn’t a group of Islamic State sympathizers but a meeting of hirsute do-gooders. John Ekeblad, co-founder of the…
Police: Teen left court docs about auto theft in stolen car
ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. (AP) — Authorities say an 18-year-old man drove a stolen car to police headquarters to pick up court papers about a previous auto theft he was involved in — documents that were found in yet another stolen car. Carnell Eugene Butler now faces charges in three stolen…





Bush offers plan to repeal, replace federal health care law    photo
MANCHESTER, N.H. (AP) — Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush touted on Tuesday his plan to repeal and replace President Barack Obama’s health care law with one that would increase tax credits for individuals, allowing them to buy coverage protection against “high-cost medical events.”…


Condition of hospitalized Ebola nurse in UK worsens
LONDON (AP) — London’s Royal Free Hospital says the condition of a nurse being treated for complications resulting from Ebola has worsened. The hospital said in a statement Wednesday that Pauline Cafferkey is now critically ill after her condition deteriorated. Cafferkey was treated for Ebola…
Right-wing Polish leader: Migrants carry diseases to Europe    photo
WARSAW, Poland (AP) — Former Polish prime minister Jaroslaw Kaczynski has shocked some in Poland by claiming that the Muslim migrants now arriving in Europe are carrying diseases that could hurt local people. The comments sparked a sharp rebuke from some of his political opponents, with one…
800-pound Rhode Island man says he’s determined to slim down    photo
WARWICK, R.I. (AP) — A Rhode Island man who weighs nearly 800 pounds says he’s determined to slim down and he dreams of becoming an actor one day. Steven Assanti, of Cranston, refers to himself now as a monster. He wants to eventually inspire others who struggle with their weight. The…
Dissolving stent for heart arteries passes first large test    photo
Now you see it, now you don’t. A new type of heart stent that works like dissolving stitches, slowly going away after it has done its job, passed its first major test in a large study, doctors said Monday. Abbott Vascular’s dissolving Absorb stent performed as well as a conventional stent in the…
Correction: Gun violence research story    photo
NEW YORK (AP) — In a story Oct. 12 about gun violence research, The Associated Press reported erroneously that Newtown, Connecticut, was the deadliest mass slaying at a school in U.S. history. With 26 victims, it was the second-deadliest shooting at a school; 32 were killed at Virginia Tech…
Family of Ebola nurse complains of ill treatment in Scotland
LONDON (AP) — The family of a British nurse who has been re-admitted to hospital with Ebola complications says she received bad medical advice in Scotland when she fell ill. Pauline Cafferkey is in London Royal Free Hospital’s isolation ward after becoming ill in Scotland. She was thought to…
Bush offers plan to repeal, replace federal health care law    photo
MIAMI (AP) — Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush is proposing to repeal and replace President Barack Obama’s health care law with one that would increase tax credits for individuals, allowing them to buy coverage protection against “high-cost medical events.” But the two-page proposal,…
US boosts privacy protection on health insurance website    photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — Responding to criticism from civil liberties advocates, the Obama administration said Friday it has strengthened consumer privacy protections on the government’s health insurance website as a new sign-up season nears. HealthCare.gov CEO Kevin Counihan said in a blog post…
Gene editing: Research spurs debate over promise vs. ethics    photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — The hottest tool in biology has scientists using words like revolutionary as they describe the long-term potential: wiping out certain mosquitoes that carry malaria, treating genetic diseases like sickle-cell, preventing babies from inheriting a life-threatening disorder. It…
Studies say 1/3 of young men in China to die from smoking    photo
BEIJING (AP) — Research published in the medical journal The Lancet says one in three of all the young men in China are likely to die from tobacco, but that the number can fall if the men quit smoking. The studies, conducted by researchers from Oxford University, the Chinese Academy of…





(None on the weekends)



Data compiled by the National Safety Council shows more people get hurt using their cellphones at home than in public. Fifty-two percent of cellphone-distracted walking injuries occur at home, and roughly 10 to 11 percent involve texting.  ***So to be safe, don’t ever go home.


Ethel Weiss has been the owner of Irving’s, a candy and toy shop in Brookline, Massachusetts, since 1939. The 101 year old woman still lives next door to the store. Her first customers were kids at a nearby school, and today, she is serving their great grandchildren.  ***That’s odd – I always thought old ladies always got the candy from their purses.


Randy Quaid was due in court Tuesday after attempting to cross back into the US from Canada. Quaid, and his wife, Evi, were each ordered held in Vermont for lack of $500,000 bail on charges of being fugitives from justice in California. The couple are wanted in Santa Barbara to face charges filed in 2010 after they were found squatting in a guesthouse of a home they previously owned. The pair skipped several court appearances and went to Canada, where Evi was granted citizenship. Randy’s bid for permanent residency was denied.  ***Because, well… because he’s Randy Quaid.


If you’d like to see New England’s colorful fall foliage, a Boston-area man is offering to ship bundles of the dried up, multi-colored leaves straight to your door for $19.99. Kyle Waring has set up the website shipfoliage.com and so far, he says: “I’ve hit over 200 sales.”  ***Another option for you is to just “fall leaves” and then hit “print”.


Fifty-five-year-old Hugh Grant is expecting his second child with his TV producer girlfriend Anna Eberstein.  *** If Bridget Jones finds out she’s going to be ticked!




The bigger the plate and serving utensil, the more you’ll dish out. In one study people at an ice cream social who were given a large bowl and a 3 ounce scooper ate 53% more ice cream than those given a smaller bowl and a 2 ounce scooper. With beverages, research shows that people pour 28% more into short, wide glasses than into tall, skinny ones, says Brian Wansink, Ph.D., director of the food and brand lab at Cornell University.  ***MARLAR: It’s all relative.  For example, if you listen to my show while in the shower, my humor doesn’t seem as dry.


Scientists at Wroclaw University in Poland conducted a study and found that women whose legs were 5% longer than average were judged to have the most attractive legs.  ***MARLAR: No word as to why they’re not wasting time on cancer studies.


The Food and Drug Administration said it will begin asking doctors to keep an eye out for misleading advertisements.  The agency’s “bad ad program “urges doctors to report ads and sales pitches that violate FDA rules.  ***MARLAR: First on the list… AXE body spray.


Brown seaweed could fight fat and weight gain. A pigment found in brown seaweed, called fucoxanthin, reduces dangerous abdominal fat and cholesterol, according to a new study funded by the Japanese government.  ***MARLAR: There is one terrible side-effect though – you’re eating seaweed.








CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Kerri Pomarolli, “Bargain Savvy Holiday Inn”




OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, Louis the lion and all of the jungle animals went out looking for a new king, because Louis didn’t want to be king anymore. After searching long and hard, they finally came across a big throne… and a big crown… and a big lion too! Could he be the new king they’re looking for?


CLOSE: So now, after all of this time looking for a new king, do we have to start all over again? We’ll find out next time, As the Jungle Turns!






OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you another inspiringly inspiring inspirational story in the never-ending deep-jungle soap-opera saga that is As the Jungle Turns!


CLOSE: Tune in again next time for another episode of As the Jungle Turns!


***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of As the Jungle Turns in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us.




A woman dies, but no one realizes it for five years!

I think we would all agree that funerals are a real bummer. The passing of a loved one can have devastating effects on you for weeks, months, or even years to come in some cases. But here’s the case of a Kentucky man. He was so upset about having to arrange the funeral for his mother that had passed away that he simply decided not to… and left his mother in a chair, dead, for more than 5 years! Wondering why they hadn’t heard from her in years, relatives finally phoned police who stopped by her house and found her bones sitting in a chair covered in bedding. ***MARLAR: Wouldn’t you expect something to be wrong once Mom didn’t show up at that first Christmas?!? What kind of family doesn’t miss anyone for five years straight? Birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter… and no one noticed she was gone?  For FIVE YEARS?!??! It really makes you appreciate your own family a bit more, doesn’t it?






10.) Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Long Island driver never uses them. Use of them in Massapequa may be illegal.


9.) Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.


8.) Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered “going with the flow.”


7.) The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.


6.) Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.


5.) Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it’s a chance to stretch your legs.


4.) Electronic traffic warning signs are not there to provide useful information. They are only there to make Long Island look high-tech, and to distract you from seeing the state police radar car parked on the median.


3.) Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.


2.) Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions, and are apparently not enforceable during rush hour.


1.) Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident, or even if someone is just changing a tire.




A 15-month-old toddler calls 911 and gets his father arrested!


FILE #1: A Florida man’s 15-month old son just happened to, by coincidence and accident, dial 911. The boy then went off and did what toddlers do best. He began crying. Dispatchers, fearing the worst, sent the police who kicked in the door, and discovered the boy’s father who was wanted on an outstanding warrant.


FILE #2: 39 year old Gustavo Rivera recently slid into the ventilator shaft of a restaurant in Miami with the idea of stealing a few dollars. Unfortunately for Rivera he got stuck in the grease-filled shaft, arms above his head, legs dangling down between grates, feet hanging over the grill for 8 hours. At 7 o’clock the next morning, a passerby heard him screaming and called 911. It was then that Fire Rescue arrived and got him out of the shaft. And when police arrived, they arrested him.


FILE #3: A New York man is alleged to have tried to open an account at a bank, four days after robbing that very same bank. Police claim Jack Schreiner is the same man who held up the Queens branch of Chase Manhattan. Staff telephoned police saying they recognized him when he came in four days later. He has been charged with robbery.


STRANGE LAW: Salt Lake City, Utah has a law against carrying an unwrapped ukulele on the street.




Baking a cake to say thanks to your real estate agent is a good idea… unless you do it with a brain on drugs.

West Hartford police said they charged a 51-year-old woman with assault, reckless endangerment and tampering with evidence after she allegedly served a marijuana-tainted ginger cake to her real estate agent. Authorities said the 28-year-old man called 911 shortly after leaving her home, saying he felt sick. He was treated at a local hospital and released.  Medics initially thought he was allergic to the ginger cake. But police said they later determined the woman told someone else she had laced it with marijuana.  Police have ordered tests on the dessert.




A recent survey conducted by NDS, a DVR manufacturer, has shown that digital video recorders (DVR’s) are becoming a significant part of U.S. households, being cited just behind mobile phones as the most essential, can’t-live-without household technology item. Only microwaves and washing machines beat it out in the non-technological category. PHONER: What is your can’t-live-without household technology item?




QUESTION: Who died at Mt. Hor?

ANSWER: Aaron (Numbers 20:27-28)




QUESTION: What does the “S.O.S.” in the S.O.S. pot scrubbing pads stand for?

ANSWER: “Save Our Saucepans.” (Ed Cox from San Francisco invented the pot scrubbing S.O.S. pads in 1917. His wife came up with the name, which stands for “Save Our Saucepans.”)




Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!


  1. More people are allergic to peanuts than any other food. (False – there are more people allergic to cow’s milk)


  1. The largest organization devoted to Sherlock Holmes is not in England, but in Mexico. (False – the largest group is the Japan Sherlock Holmes club with over 1,200 members. There are over 375 organizations around the world devoted to Sherlock Holmes.)


  1. Metal coins were introduced in Greece to replace furs as the medium of exchange. (False – in 625 B.C., metal coins were introduced in Greece and replaced grain — usually barley — as the medium of exchange. Stamped with a likeness of an ear of wheat, the new coins were lighter and easier to transport than grain, and did not get moldy.)


  1. Some foggy conditions can last for several weeks. (True. Fogs over the seas on the Grand Banks, Newfoundland, Canada, can last for weeks on end. These are the longest-enduring fogs recorded in the world.)


  1. Stone soup is a real thing. (True – on the Italian Riviera in Viareggio, there is a culinary tradition that a good soup must always contain one stone from the sea. This stems from the days when an Italian fisherman’s catch was scooped up in nets; fish and stones frequently ended up together in the same cooking pot.)


  1. Italy is smaller than the state of Rhode Island. (False – but Italy is smaller than the state of Montana: 116,304 square miles and 147,138 square miles, respectively).


  1. Cattle branding in the United States originated in Oregon. (False – it did not originate in the West at all. It began in Connecticut in the mid-19th century, when farmers were required by law to mark all their pigs.)


  1. There is such a thing as real live pink elephants. (True. In regions of India where the soil is red, elephants take on a permanent pink tinge because they regularly spray dust over their bodies to protect themselves against insects.)


  1. The Wright Brothers were inspired by watching buzzards. (True – the Wright Brothers spent time observing the flight of the buzzard to help them solve the mystery of flight. They realized that the bird retained balance in the air by twisting the tips of it’s wings. By creating a wing warping method based upon this observation, the brothers were able to obtain a remarkable degree of maneuverability.) ***DUANE MATZ: To this day airline luggage is known as carrion.


  1. If a llama blows on you it is just saying hello. (True – llamas are reported to be inquisitive, friendly animals. A llama greeting is marked by softly blowing on each other. According to animal experts, a soft blow to a person is the llama’s way of saying hello.)




You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!


Residents in a Cumberland County, NJ were left wondering Tuesday  what caused thousands of birds to drop dead from the sky.

At  least 8,000 birds — mostly red-winged blackbirds — on the ground dead having fallen from trees and the sky.

“Crazy — something out of a horror movie,” said resident Denise Fennelli who saw the birds fall from the sky.

The birds caused a bloody mess on roadways, businesses and residential neighborhoods.

“They’d get up and attempt to fl, but they were out of control so they’d crash and fall again,” said resident Justin Winters. ”It was just strange.  It was like the end of the world or something.”

Commission ornithologist Julie Zeireski said the he birds showed physical trauma,  but had several alien burn markings on their wings.   “I’ve examined thousands of blackbirds in my basement and have never seen anything like this before.”  She first speculated that the flock could have been hit by lightning or high-altitude hail.  She was wrong.

US Extraterrestrial Expert, General Jim Bellanca of the U.S. Marines, told WWN that the government has confirmed thousands of reports of a UFO in the area, prior to the bird droppings.  “For some reason the UFO decided to open fire on the blackbirds.  We’re not sure what caused them to attack, but it does have us very concerned.”





A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets.  The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him.  The dog looked up and said, “Don’t be surprised. This is just part of my job.”

“Incredible!” exclaimed the salesman. “I can’t believe it!  Does your boss know what a prize he has in you? An animal that can talk!”

“No, and please don’t tell him,” answered the dog. “If that man finds out I can talk, he’ll have me answering the phone too!”



Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”

The second responds, “Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.”

The third surgeon says, “No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”

The fourth surgeon chimes in: “You know, I like construction workers… those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.”

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: “You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and bottom are interchangeable.”



A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married?

Replied the gentleman, “Well, I guess I just never met the right woman … I guess  I’ve been looking for the perfect girl.”

“Oh, come on now,” said the friend, “Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry.”

“Yes, there was a girl… once. I guess she was the one perfect girl; the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything… I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me.”

“Well, why didn’t you marry her,” asked the friend.

“She was looking for the perfect man.”




Snails produce a colorless, sticky discharge that forms a protective carpet under them as they travel along. The discharge is so effective that snails can crawl along the edge of a razor without cutting themselves.  ***MARLAR: And they supply their own shaving gel!


Time has a way of passing some people by. Anthropologists say there are at least 21-thousand towns and villages around the world where folks live exactly as they did 100 years ago.  ***MARLAR: How cool is that?  I had no idea cable TV had been around that long!


Kissing helps to reduce negative energy and lower the amount of stress hormones in the body.  ***MARLAR: Assuming you’re doing the kissing.  No guarantees this will be the same for the random stranger you try this on.




The CEO of a large telecommunications company was scheduled to give the keynote address at an important convention so he asked one of his top employees to write a punchy, 20-minute speech for him.  When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious. “What’s the idea of writing me an hour long speech?!” he demanded. “Half the audience walked out before I was finished.”
The employee was baffled. “I wrote you a 20 minute speech,” he replied. “I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for.”




Ever wonder if the person on the other end of the phone is truly listening to what you’re saying?  A new invention will solve that problem for you!

If you’ve ever wondered if that person you’re talking to on the phone is really paying attention, you may soon be able to find out thanks to the “Jerk-O-Meter.” Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology are developing software for cell phones that would analyze speech patterns and voice tones to rate people – on a scale of 0 to 100 percent according to how engaged they are in a conversation.  They say that the Jerk-O-Meter could assist telephone sales and marketing efforts and could help prevent arguments in relationships by forcing couples to be more attentive to one another.




“Remember this—a farmer who plants only a few seeds will get a small crop. But the one who plants generously will get a generous crop”. 2 Corinthians 9:6…The power of sacrificial giving is revealed in 2 Corinthians 9:6-11. First, God will measure back to you with the same measuring device you use when giving to Him (v. 6). Second, God is looking for a heart attitude that is free, spontaneous, and cheerful in giving (v. 7). Third, God has the power to resupply your resources to such a point that you will always have enough to give to any worthy project (v. 8). Fourth, God will remember for eternity what you scatter abroad (v. 9). Fifth, if you have a sower’s heart and are faithful, God will give you more and more seed to plant (v. 10). Finally, God will prosper you financially so you can become a resource for building His kingdom in the earth (v. 11). How many people fail to start down God’s road of blessing because they sow sparingly? Step through the gate of hilarious, generous, spontaneous giving and watch God supply you with more seed to sow than you ever dreamed possible. He is looking for channels through which He can bless the world!

–Larry Stockstill





There is none upon earth that I desire besides You. —Psalm 73:25

Health experts tell us we should drink at least 64 ounces of water each day. It may reduce the risk of heart attack, give our skin a healthy glow, and help us lose weight. We should drink even more water during exercise or if we live in a hot or dry climate. Even if we’re not thirsty, we ought to drink water anyway.

Our thirst for God is even more beneficial. When we’re spiritually dry, we long to hear from Him through His Word, and we search for even a drop of knowledge about Him. When we’re exercising our faith in a new way, we want to be close to Him and receive His strength. Our thirst for God may increase when we see the sinfulness of people around us or when we gain a new awareness of our own sin and need for Him.

Spiritual thirst is a metaphor used throughout Scripture. Asaph thirsted for answers in his questioning psalm. When he saw the wicked prospering, he cried out to God to understand why (Psalm 73:16). He found the Lord to be his strength and realized that he desired nothing but Him (vv.25-26).

If we’re spiritually thirsty, we can follow Asaph’s example and draw near to God (v.28). He will satisfy us, yet give us a deeper thirst for Himself. We’ll learn to desire Him above all else. —Anne Cetas


O sinner, won’t you come today to Calvary?
A fountain there is flowing deep and wide;
The Savior now invites you to the water free,
Where thirsting spirits can be satisfied. —Peterson
© Renewal 1978, Singspiration, Inc.


A thirst for God can be satisfied only by Christ, the Living Water.





A teenager is suing her softball coach because he didn’t pay enough attention to her!

A teenager in Pennsylvania is suing her volunteer softball coach and the volunteer-run softball organization for $700,000 claiming that they incorrectly taught her how to play softball and demoralized her. She claims that her coach liked other players more and now her chances for an athletic scholarship are ruined forever. The organization named in the lawsuit has said that they think that the lawsuit is ridiculous and will do nothing but hurt a lot of innocent people who volunteer their time to try and help kids. ***MARLAR: The teenager says justice will not be done until she is taught to play softball correctly – that way she’ll be able to have the quarterback throw the softball across the plate so she can hit a touchdown and win the big game by knocking down all ten pins.





Tis the season for costume parties. Even people not celebrating Halloween like to have costume parties at this time of the year, and if you’re office or school is having a party – you certainly don’t want to feel left out simply because you refuse to wear something evil or scary. Got some great family-friendly costume ideas for school or the office? Call in with your ideas! Here are a few ideas to get you started!

  • A Day Off – Assuming the party is on October 31st, use black lettering, write “October 30th” or “November 1st” on a blank shirt. When people ask what you are, say, “A day off!”
  • Running Late — Show up to the office with messy hair and disheveled clothes with your pajamas showing underneath.
  • Office Gossip — Make up fun stories about your co-workers. Fasten the stories to yourself and put the name of your favorite grocery store tabloid on a hat. Hang around the water cooler and invite people to read the latest news.
  • Pink Slip — No one ever wants to be served the dreaded pink slip at work. Wear a pink slip over your work clothes and chase your co-workers.
  • Post-it Note — Wear all yellow. If you’re doing a “trick or treat” kind of thing, pass out real Post-it notes.
  • Red Tape — Buy red tape and tape it all over your clothes and your cubicle or desk. When people ask what you are, make them cut through some red tape to get the answer.
  • Leftover — Wrap yourself in aluminum foil and give yourself an aluminum swan hat. Place a sign on your chest that says, “Anything left after 4pm on Friday will be thrown away!
  • Vending Machine — Dress in black and fasten snacks to yourself with the cost of each item displayed. If you want be really mean, place an “out of order” sign on the real vending machine and have it instruct your co-workers to come to you for their snacks – and make them pay. When they pay, make sure you throw their snacks on the ground as the vending machine does.





Need a little extra money? Try using an ATM in Scotland!

ATM Machines. They are the BANE of society.  They cost money to use; they’re way too easy to get to, but I use them anyway. It’s because of ATMs that my bank account is as low as it is. I only wish one thing – that I lived in Edinburgh, Scotland. The ATMs there are much nicer to you. Recently bank customers in Scotland had their money doubled when a cash machine went on the blink. Dozens of people received twice the amount requested from the ATM. Bank customers found out about the unusually generous cash machine, and stood in line waiting for the bonus cash – some drawing the limit knowing they’d get twice as much. A bank spokesman said they are unsure how much money would be recovered. Sadly, for bank patrons, the ATM machine has been fixed.





  • Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
  • Border Collie: Just one. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.
  • Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!
  • Rottweiler: Yeah, go on and make me.
  • Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
  • Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
  • German Shepherd: I’ll change it as soon as I’ve led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven’t missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
  • Jack Russell Terrier: I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls and furniture.
  • Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I’m sorry, but I don’t see a light bulb!
  • Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
  • Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or “We don’t need no stinking light bulb.”
  • Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who cares?
  • Australian Shepherd: First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle…
  • Poodle: I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.


  • Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is, “How long will it be before I can expect some dinner, and a massage before my nap?”





The German post office has a nice tradition of sending “good luck” cards to people who move into new homes. The cards are automatically sent out as a customer relations tactic to welcome Germans to their new address. One man in Lueneburg didn’t find his new home so pleasant. The card read: “The post office wishes you a good move. You’ve made it – and now you have earned a rest so you can get used to your new surroundings.” The man who received the card was “moving” from his old home to prison. ***MARLAR: It could’ve been worse – his new address could’ve been a cemetery!




(Mondays Only)




Good Grocer, a new food market in Minneapolis, is putting a fresh spin on the traditional co-op model to help low-income residents. According to the Twin Cities Daily Planet, By offering reduced prices in exchange for volunteer work, the store hopes to make quality, healthy food more widely accessible. Throughout the store, which opened in June, all items are marked with two prices — one for volunteers and one for non-members. To receive the 25 percent discount on regular prices, customers must sign up for a membership that commits them to a certain task or chore at the store



10 Reasons Why, No Matter What You’re Going Through, It Will Be Okay (from Revive Our Hearts)

  1. God is always, always, always good.
  2. God loves you.
  3. God is fighting for you.
  4. God won’t waste this moment.
  5. He will never leave your side.
  6. Today’s troubles are temporary.
  7. Heaven is for real.
  8. Your tears will dry up.
  9. You’re on your way to perfect.
  10. If you’re longing for a rescuer, look no further than Jesus.



3 Ways to Succeed in Life from Focus on the Family

First, give God permission to show you the areas in your life where you act entitled.

Second, become a detective of yourself.

Third, get people around you that are safe and loving, but also full of truth.





You know you’re in a really cheap motel when the Gideon Bibles have a chain attached to them.




(Updated as it comes available. The Way WE Work is written by Mark Elfstrand from 1160Hope.com in Chicago.)

Captains Courageous

They call a certain stretch of water in the Caribbean “Hurricane Alley.” Severe storms in that region are common. Captains of sailing vessels know enough to consider the warnings and plan accordingly.
But even skilled sailors and captains of ships are no match for forces well beyond their control. Thus was the fate recently of the cargo ship El Faro. It left port in Jacksonville, Florida, almost two weeks ago…never to return. Along with its sinking went the souls of thirty-three crew.
Experts continue to debate the wisdom of the decision to sail, let alone to take that specific route. There is no clear cut answer. The storm turned treacherous quicker than estimated — jumping past hurricane categories 1, 2, and 3, until it settled at 4.
What that meant for these sailors was a horrifying congestion of wind, waves, and rain. The seas were raging at 50 feet. Winds howling at 125 miles per hour. As the ship listed some 15 degrees with its full load of containers and cars, it began taking on water. It wasn’t long after that the engine failed. Steering was now impossible.
No survivors were found. There was one body that surfaced in a survival suit meant to keep people afloat. Other than that, a cargo door, an empty lifeboat, and a range of flotsam and jetsam is all that could be immediately found.
It’s important to note that, despite all of our advancements, we still have these sailing tragedies today. And this one happened in a relatively short course sailing run of 1200 miles! Today’s maritime world has sophisticated weather equipment, advanced navigation, and sailing technology. Lifeboats for everyone. Survival suits.
Makes you wonder, on this Columbus Day, how they made it from Spain to cross the Atlantic in the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria. The Santa Maria ran aground near Haiti and came apart. Oops.
The other two ships were smaller and each carried about 25 men. Close quarters, my friend. Probably no antiperspirant.
As one history site notes, “All told, there were about 120 crewmen for the combined fleet. They lived on hard biscuit, salted meat, and fish. They drank beer and water. Of course, they could not drink sea-water because of the high salt content. In that day they had not yet developed methods for distilling the sea-water to remove the salt. Living conditions were difficult.” Ya think?

The article goes on to explain that the sailors slept on a hard deck, often exposed to the weather. And because of fire danger aboard a wooden ship, any fire needed had to be strictly controlled. And cooking was done in the forward part of the ship.
And lest we forget the importance of this historic day, a few more notes from an article titled “THE FOUR EXPLORATIONS OF CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS”:
“Early on the morning of October 12th land was indeed sighted, and a landing party arrived on an island in the Bahamas and named it San Salvador. It had been thirty-three days since the three ships had left the Canary Islands, off the Atlantic coast of Africa. The natives must have been surprised to hear that their island now belonged to Spain. Over the next few weeks landings were also made on Cuba, named Juana by Columbus, and Española, now known as Hispaniola, and shared by the Dominican Republic and Haiti.
Columbus’ ships covered approximately 150 miles a day. His seafaring instincts were extraordinary. Columbus relied on “dead reckoning,” which used not only navigational instruments but also experience, intuition, observations, and guesswork to determine his ships’ positions.”

Now I realize that in this current age there are mixed reviews on the motives and behavior of the Columbus expeditions. For my purposes today, I’ll leave you to your own conclusions. (You should read the original documents and diaries.)
My point in sharing both of these stories is twofold: 1) to show that people have taken great risks and made tremendous sacrifices for our betterment, and 2) some jobs, more than others, require bravery in the face of known risks. Or call it courage.
Your job, whatever it is, may require another kind of courage. Making tough decisions. Knowing when to step out on your own. Handling employee challenges. In looking at a candidate for a job, we underestimate the importance of courage.
In the face of our challenges, when courage is needed most, it is comforting to know we can seek help from One whose power knows no limits.
As the Psalmist writes, “You answer us in amazing ways, God our Savior. People everywhere on the earth and beyond the sea trust you. You made the mountains by your strength; you are dressed in power. You stopped the roaring seas, the roaring waves, and the uproar of the nations. Even those people at the ends of the earth fear your miracles. You are praised from where the sun rises to where it sets.”  (Psalm 63:5-8, NCV)
Happy Columbus Day. May you have smooth sailing.
That’s The Way WE Work.




Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).


OCTOBER 16, 2015…


Goosebumps— Jack Black stars as the real-life writer R. L. Stine in a film about Stine’s mystery books called “Goosebumps”. This is the type of reading where it is fun to be frightened.  The story has a curious neighbor accidentally letting the book characters into this world.  What to do?  The cast includes Dylan Minnette.” “Goosebumps” is rated PG 13. No rating.


Truth—In this film, Robert Redford stars as Dan Rather and Cate Blanchett is Mary Mapes in a behind-the-scenes look at the CBS news scandal concerning then President Bush. Information came out that the then-President military service was suspect and there was a scandal.  In this film, there is a different angle. “Truth” is rated R. Rating of 3 for fans of the stars.


Beasts of No Nation—This is actually a Netflix movie, based on the novel by Uzogdinna Iweala, and stars Idris Elba in a story about a boy soldier in Africa. The boy (Abraham Attah)  is forced to become a soldier during the fighting in Africa with Elba as his scary commander .A film not for children. “Beasts of No Nation” is rated R. Rating of 3.


Crimson Peak—Shades of gothic books and movies, this one has Mia Wasikowska living in Northern England and is courted by a mysterious stranger, Tom Hiddleston and comes to live in a castle/mansion in a deserted part of the country.  What else is new?  “Crimson Peak” is rated R. No rating.


Room—Here is a film about  living in a small room…for years…with a child, too.  Such is the fate of Brie Larson who runs into a nut case who imprisons her. This is a scary situation. All, too often, this type of story is in the headlines. “Room” is rated R. Rating of 3.


Bridge Of Spies—This is based on the true story of exchanging a Russian spy for an America pilot during the Cold War. Tom Hanks is an attorney who is “asked” by the CIA to handle the negotiations. The American pilot is Mark Rylance. Also in the cast is Amy Ryan. “Bridge of Spies” is rated R and directed by Steven Spielberg. Rating of 3 for fans.




Bone Tomahawk stars Kurt Russell in an action/horror western.


Burnt with Bradley Cooper as a chef trying to get back on top of the culinary world.


Jem and the Holograms with Aubrey Peeples and Juliette Lewis is based on the old TV series.


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WARNING:  Don’t believe anything you read on the Internet or email (including stuff you read here) unless you can confirm it with another source, and/or it is consistent with what you already know to be true. The opinions in this publication are not necessarily those of Darren Marlar, Marlar House Entertainment, OnAirPrep.com, or any company or organization affiliated with aforementioned. (Regardless of how stupid you may think those opinions are. So there – nyah!)

Darren Marlar credits all non-original material to the author whenever possible. All other material is original, used with permission, or author unknown. We welcome all comments, questions, and suggestions. Darren can be reached via his website at www.DarrenMarlar.com.