October 29, 2016: Saturday ONAIRprep

***DAILY DOSE OF WEIRD NEWS – FREE TO AIR! (Need to receive this earlier than when it’s posted? Get FTP access and receive a fully-produced version FREE with a customized tag specifically for your station or show! Contact me with your ONAIRprep username for details!)

AND NOW… ON WITH THE SHOW!

PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION: 20161029

WELCOME TO THE SHOW!

I didn’t think I was going to make it in today. The boss had all the locks changed.

We’re already out of #Halloween candy and have to make an emergency run to the store to replenish our supply. #NoDiscipline

BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY

“Live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.” –1 Peter 3:8

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. — Hebrews 12:2

HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT

(From VerseOfTheDay.com)

All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord stands forever. — 1 Peter 1:24-25

Thought: As the seasons change, the leaves fall, and the grass dies, we are reminded once again of how short our lives are. Despite the rapid advancements of technology, our deepest needs are addressed only by the eternal and proven will of God in Scripture. Whether you get your Scripture off the Bible on disk or from an old family Bible, access it today. Don’t you need a dose of the eternal today?

Prayer: As I age, I am constantly reminded, O God, of my transitory stay on earth and your eternal reign in heaven. Give me a sense of my place before you as I seek your will in your Word. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@heartlight.org.

BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY

John 10:29 NIV = My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.

TODAY IS SATURDAY – OCTOBER 29, 2016

(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY
58 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.

LAUGH A LOT SUDDENLY FOR NO REASON DAY. ***We encourage that around here – even if the jokes aren’t funny.

NATIONAL DISGUSTING LITTLE PUMPKIN-SHAPED CANDIES DAY. ***And they are. Disgusting, that is. So, I want you all to take this pledge with me right now. Raise your right hand and repeat after me… “I, (state your name), do now solemnly swear. . . not to pass out those disgusting little pumpkin shaped candies. . . to anyone knocking on my door. . . I swear that I will not present. . . those disgusting little pumpkin shaped candies. . . to friends that visit because our children refuse to eat them. . . I swear not to bring. . . those disgusting little pumpkin shaped candies. . . to work and try to make my coworkers eat them. . . I will take those disgusting little pumpkin shaped candies. . . place them in the kitchen sink. . . and run scalding hot water over them until they melt away. . .” Thank you.

\

TODAY IS ALSO. . .

Internet Day

National Cat Day

World Psoriasis Day

National Forgiveness Day

COMING UP NEXT (Just a list, we are not endorsing the holidays posted below.)

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 30

Checklist Day

Create a Great Funeral Day

Devil’s Night/Mischief Night

Haunted Refrigerator Night

National Candy Corn Day

Reformation Sunday

Visit a Cemetery Day

MONDAY, OCTOBER 31

Beggar’s Night

Books for Treats Day

Day of the Seven Billion

Girl Scout Founder’s Day

Halloween/All Hallows Eve

National Caramel Apple Day

National Knock-Knock Jokes Day

National Magic Day

National UNICEF Day

Samhain

World Cities Day

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 01

All Saints’ Day

Autistic Speaking Day

Hockey Mask Day ***Shouldn’t this be reserved for a Friday the 13TH?

Dia de Los Muertos (Day Of The Dead)

Extra Mile Day

Give Up Your Shoulds Day

National Authors Day

National Family Caregiver Day

National Family Literacy Day

National Go Cook For Your Pets Day

Prime Meridian Day

World Vegan Day

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 02

All Souls Day

Cookie Monster Day

International Day to End Impunity for Crimes Against Journalists

National Traffic Professionals Day

Plan Your Epitaph Day

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 03

Cliche Day

National Men Make Dinner Day (NO BBQ ALLOWED!)

Public Television Day

Sandwich Day

SOS Day

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 04

National Chicken Lady Day

National Candy Day

https://www.americanbar.org/content/dam/aba/images/abanews/LoveYourLawyerDay.pdf

Punkin Chunkin

Use Your Common Sense Day

National Medical Science Liaison Awareness & Appreciation Day

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 05

Digital Scrapbooking Day

National Love Your Red Hair Day

Pumpkin Destruction Day

Sadie Hawkins Day

Sausage and Kraut Day

Stout Day

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 06

Daylight Saving Time Ends @2:00am (turn clocks back 1 hour)

International Day for Preventing the Exploitation of the Environment in War and Armed Conflict

National Nachos Day

Saxophone Day

Zero Tasking Day

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 07

Employee Brotherhood Day

Fill Our Staplers Day

International Merlot Day

Job Action Day

National Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day

National Canine Lymphoma Awareness Day

Traffic Directors Day

ON THIS DAY

1923: The musical ‘Runnin` Wild’ opened on Broadway. It introduced a new dance called “The Charleston.”

1945: The first ballpoint pens went of sale at Gimbels department stores for $12.95.

1966: The National Organization for Women was formed.

1991: A news release from the Canadian Museum of Nature in Ottawa mistakenly referred to the visiting Princess of Wales as “the Princess of Whales.”

1995: A Tehran court sentenced a 31-year-old Iranian man to 20 lashes after he dressed as a woman and rode in the segregated women’s section of a bus. The women already had beat him up during the ride. He said he did it to win a $33.00 bet with his father.

1997: Comedian Bob Hope, who had entertained American troops overseas for decades, was made an honorary U.S. veteran at age 94. The congressional resolution bestowing the title was the first of its kind.

2006: Dan Smith finally caught the big one in Texas’ Trinity River at Fort Worth, a 40-pound blue catfish. He phoned his brother and asked him to drive over his fishing scale and camera – 40 pounds, 42 inches long with a 27-inch girth. Then the brothers threw the big one back.

TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY

1869: Birth of E. O. Sellers, American Baptist musician. At various times the song evangelist for R.A. Torrey, Gipsy Smith, A.C. Dixon and J. Wilbur Chapman, Sellers is remembered today for his two original hymns: “Thy Word Have I Hid in My Heart” and “Wonderful, Wonderful Jesus.”

1870: Birth of Juji Nakada, Japanese Christian evangelist. In 1901 he influenced Charles and Lettie Cowman (authors of “Streams in the Desert”) to come to Japan, where in 1910 they incorporated the Oriental Missions Society.

1889: New York City missions pioneer Albert B. Simpson, 46, incorporated the International Missionary Alliance. Combined in 1897 with a group formerly also organized by Simpson, it became the Christian and Missionary Alliance, one of the most missions-minded denominations in modern American Protestantism.

1919: The Apostolic Christian Association was incorporated in Atlanta, Georgia. It later merged with what is now the International Pentecostal Church of Christ, headquartered in London, Ohio.

1955: American missionary Jim Elliot, 28, wrote in his journal: ‘First time I ever saw an Auca–1500′ is a long ways if you’re looking out of an airplane.’ Ten weeks later, on January 8, 1956, Jim and four other missionaries would be speared to death by these same Indians they had come to Ecuador in hopes of evangelizing.

HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS

  • Actor (Scary Movie, Meet the Parents) Jon Abrahams, 39

  • Actress (Bring It On) Gabrielle Union, 43

  • Actress (Mr. Deeds, Edward Scissorhands, “Stranger Things”) Winona Ryder, 45

  • Actress (“Ellen”) Joely Fisher, 49 (audio clip)

  • Actress (Aspen Extreme, “Blossom,” “All My Children,” “General Hospital”) Finola Hughes, 56 (audio clip)

  • Actress (“Scarecrow & Mrs. King,” Sabrina Duncan on “Charlie’s Angels” TV show) Kate Jackson, 68 (audio clip)

  • Actor (The Goodbye Girl, Jaws, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Mr. Holland’s Opus) Richard Dreyfuss, 69

    Actor (Harry Potter films, “All Creatures Great and Small”) Robert Hardy, 91

BEE-BOP BIRTHDAYS

(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)

1904 : Vivian Ellis

1922 : Neal Hefti

1925 : Zoot Sims

1937 : Sonny Osborne (The Osborne Brothers)

1944 : Denny Laine (The Moody Blues, Wings)

1945 : Melba Moore

1946 : Peter Green (Fleetwood Mac)

1949 : David Paton (Pilot)

1955 : Kevin DuBrow (Quiet Riot)

1955 : Roger O’Donnell (The Cure)

1961 : Randy Jackson (The Jackson 5)

1962 : Einar Orn Benediktsson (The Sugarcubes)

1965 : Pete Timmins (Cowboy Junkies)

1970 : Douglas “SA” Vincent Martinez (311)

1970 : Toby Smith (Jamiroquai)

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE

Where in the world is it said to have the best climate?

Quito in Ecuador, South America, is said to have the most pleasant climate in the world. It is called the “Land of Eternal Spring”. The temperature rarely drops below 46 degrees Fahrenheit during the night, or exceed 72 degrees Fahrenheit during the day.

CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS

This is just a tiny sample of the 5-6 pages of material you could be receiving three days a week from ChristianRadioShowPrepServices.com!

How would you describe the Jamie Grace Show? One fan summed it up like this: funny, informative and just perfect. Plus a unicorn. What else is needed?

A reminder from Jimmy Needham: “Halfhearted praise is an oxymoron.”

Casting Crowns Megan Garrett says it only took once for her to learn her lesson. She posted: I tried to dry my hair naturally curly for the first time since cutting my hair short…and I decided to never do that again. Megan says the result was an afro. For some reason, there was no picture attached.

The McKeehan household is a full one! Tobymac and his wife Amanda have five children. 2 of their children are adopted twins!

Natalie Grant won Female Vocalist of the Year for four consecutive years, in 2006, 2007, 2008 and 2009!

Hillsong United has released a whopping 21 albums, all a combination of Live recordings, Studio albums & EP’s.

The Messengers wrote more than 100 songs that were whittled down to 14 for the self-titled debut!

The members of Citizen Way posted this week: be strong and courageous, like a bear. They then clarified: I would only assume that bears are strong and courageous.

Wanting something different for your next family photo? Big Daddy Weave member Jeremy Redmon has a suggestion. He posted: Sometimes department store dressing room mirrors are the only way to take family photos. Jeremy posted a picture of his own family and said it’s better than trying to pack everyone into the department store bathroom and using the mirror there.  https://www.instagram.com/p/BLufxu8ALK3/

Comedian Bob Smiley share the conversation he heard in his local Starbucks.

Pregnant Lady: ‘Is there caffeine in the tea?’

Starbucks Barista: ‘Yes’

Pregnant lady: ‘I’ll take a tea & a lie about the caffeine in it.’

NEWS KICKERS

(No news on the weekends. As on ONAIRprep subscriber, you can get a fully-produced, customized version of the Daily Dose of Weird News FREE with a station or show specific tag! Email darren@onairprep.com for details!)

NEW NEWS KICKERS…

NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…

WONDER WOMAN (This feature will be disappearing in 2017)

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Time Machine Parts”

DAILY COMEDY CLIP (This feature will be disappearing in 2017)

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Thor Ramsey, “Drunk Proposal”

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MONDAY’S EPISODE


OPEN: And now FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you another inspiringly inspiring inspirational inspiration in the never-ending deep jungle soap opera saga that is As the Jungle Turns!

CLOSE: So Racquet the Skunk makes his own badminton racquets – who knew? But will a new racquet really help Gruffy Bear with his badminton game, or is this just a way for Racquet to get a cool new hammer for practically nothing? Find out next time, As the Jungle Turns!

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION (This feature will be disappearing in 2017)

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF OCTOBER 29/30

OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, all of the animals were trying to sell all of their belongings to move out of the jungle and get away from a giant-footed monster, but they all bought other people’s belongings… all except Racquet the Skunk. He’s just giving stuff away! For FREE! Why do you think that is?

CLOSE: Could that be it? Could the giant-footed creature really just be a huge practical joke? Is there really no danger at all? Find out next time, As the Jungle Turns!

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of “As the Jungle Turns” in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us and ask about “Jungle Jam & Friends the Radio Show” usage.

MOMENT OF DUH

What’s in a name? 

Three men have been arrested in Toronto after a truck full of gumballs was hijacked, almost a week before Halloween. But as dumb as stealing gumballs is, the true Moment of Duh in this story are the parents of two of these creeps.  Along with their accomplice, Emmanuel, also arrested were Uthaanathan and Thirugnanasambanthar.  ***MARLAR: I think the parents of those last two kids also deserve jail time just for giving their kids those names!  Yikes!

TOP TEN

TOP TEN DUMBEST JOB-INTERVIEW MOVES

In a poll of hiring managers, AccounTemps.com asked, “What is the wackiest or most unusual pitch you’ve heard from a job seeker about why he or she should get the job?” Here are the top ten from job hunters:

10. “…told me to hire him because he was allergic to unemployment.”

9. “… said that we should hire him because he would make a great addition to our softball team.”

8. “…said he should get the job because he had already applied three times and he felt that it was now his turn to be hired.”

7. “…said we had nice benefits, which was good because he was going to have to take a lot of leave in the coming year.”

6. “… drafted a press release announcing that we had hired him.”

5. “… explained that he had no relevant experience for the job he was interviewing for, but his friend did.”

4. “… delivered his entire cover letter in the form of a rap song.”

3. “…told me she wanted the position because she wanted to get away from working with people.”

2. “…brought his mother to the interview and let her do all the talking.”

1. “…when our company moved to Texas, gave us his resume in a ten-gallon hat.”

THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER

A crook tries to elude the police by running through the woods and straight onto a golf course!

FILE #1: Stephen Tarver was spotted by local police officers acting suspiciously near the back of the local Wal-Mart. When he saw the cops, he took off in the direction of a wooded area nearby. As it turns out, the wooded area was the Columbia Country Club Golf Course. Stevie burst out of the woods and ran up to a cart full of golfers, asking them if he could borrow their vehicle. Bad idea. The golfers were also off duty cops attending the Officer’s Benevolent Fund golf tournament. They were more than happy to detain him until the other police arrived.

FILE #2: After making off with DVD players, computers, radios, TVs and other electronic gear, one of three burglars that struck a Memphis (Tennessee) home realized that a parrot in the home had heard him use the nickname “J.J.” for one of his accomplices… and was repeating it. Afraid the bird would tell on them, they went back for it and were loading it into the getaway car when police arrived. The chase ended a few blocks away when the men crashed their car. The light-green parrot named Marshmallow flew away when its cage broke open in the crash. Owner Felicia Cobb and her children have not seen their pet since then.

FILE #3: A Texas woman tried stealing a chicken from the meat counter of a local grocery store. She placed the chicken inside her jumper suit and left the store. Only moments later a police officer approached her and asked her about the theft of the chicken. Surprised that she had been caught, she made up the story that the chicken had fallen from the sky and had landed in her arms. She explained that she concealed the chicken because she didn’t want to be blamed for stealing it. This woman kept insisting that this story was true, but admitted the theft when police showed her a security video that caught her in the act of boosting the chicken.

STRANGE LAW: Restaurants in Connecticut are required to provide customers with a nose-blowing and a non-nose-blowing section.

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

When is it NOT a bad idea to sell illegal drugs?  Never. And it’s an even dumber idea to sell those illegal drugs in the presence of a police officer.

Here’s a tip to aspiring drug dealers: Never sell marijuana at your high school when local police are on campus to give a drug awareness presentation. Detective Darrell Thornburg was giving just such a talk to students at a Muncie, Indiana high school when he got a call. It seems there was at least one student on campus who was already well aware of drugs. Thornburg quickly excused himself and busted the 16-year-old student for selling drugs on campus.

PHONER PHUN

DON’T LET THE NANOBYTES

Would you put little tiny robots in your body if they helped you live forever? Nanotechnology is a technology that is based on developing tiny robots that would go into your body and help restore your blood cells. These “Nano Smart Bombs” are structured in such a way as to evade the body’s natural immune system, allowing them to find and kill dead / diseased cells. Would you want to live forever if it were possible?

BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!

QUESTION: David attacked Jebus, which is also called what?

ANSWER: Jerusalem (1 Chronicles 11:4)

QUESTION IMPOSSIBLE

QUESTION: According to Mars, Incorporated, approximately how many peanuts are in each Snickers candy bar?

ANSWER: Approximately 28.

TRUE OR FALSE

Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

1. In 1900 the average age at death in the US was 47. (True)

2. It takes a lobster approximately 2 years to grow to be one pound. (False – it takes seven years.)

3. Despite the reputation, on average only about 15 couples get married in Las Vegas each day. (False – it’s 150 couples each day!)

5. A car that shifts manually gets 2 miles more per gallon of gas than a car with automatic shift. (True – on average)

6. The Lord’s Prayer appears twice in the Bible. (True – in Matthew 6 and Luke 11)

7. Some china is called “bone” china because some powdered animal bone is mixed in with the clay. (True – it gives the china a special kind of strength, whiteness, and translucency.)

8. The apple is the world’s most popular fruit. (False – it’s the tomato. Yes, just like the brinjal and the pumpkin, botanically speaking it is a fruit, not a vegetable. More than 60 million tons of tomatoes are produced per year, 16 million tons more than the second most popular fruit, the banana. Apples are the third most popular at 36 million tons, then oranges at 34 million tons and watermelons at 22 million tons. Tomatoes were first cultivated in 700 AD by Aztecs and Incas. Explorers returning from Mexico introduced the tomato into Europe, where it was first mentioned in 1556. The French called it “the apple of love,” the Germans “the apple of paradise.”)

9. A person afflicted with hexadectylism has a fear of spells and hexes. (False – hexadectylism causes a person to have six fingers or six toes on one or both hands and feet.)

10. A poll of 3,000 Americans found that for 41 percent, the thing they’re most afraid of is speaking before a group of people. (True. 32 percent stated they were afraid of heights.)

TABLOID MATCH GAME

You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!

“Man Arrested With _____ Blood Alcohol Level!” (.491)


And the health department says he should have been dead. 34-year-old Stanley Kobierowski’s .491 blood alcohol record set a new state record for Rhode Island when he was arrested for DUI. The legal limit there is 0.08. A level of 0.30 is classified as stupor, 0.4 is comatose and 0.5 is considered fatal. 

THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY 

JOKE #1

A couple was having some trouble, so they did the right thing and went to a marriage counselor. After a few visits, and a lot of questioning and listening, the counselor said that he had discovered the main problem. He stood up, went over to the women, asked her to stand, and gave her a hug and then a long kiss. He looked at the man and said, “this is what your wife needs, at least once a day!”

The man frowned, thought for a moment, then said, “Ok, what time do you want me to bring her back tomorrow?”

JOKE #2

A man was driving along a rural road when he saw a three legged chicken. He was amused enough to drive along side it for a while, as he was driving he noticed the chicken was running 30 mph.

“Pretty fast chicken,” he thought, “I wonder just how fast it can run.” So he sped up and the chicken did too! They were now moving along the road at 45 mph! The man in the car sped up again, to his surprise the chicken was still running ahead of him at 60 mph!!!
Suddenly the chicken turned off the road and ran down a long driveway leading to a farmhouse.

The man followed the chicken to the house and saw a man in the yard and dozens of three legged chickens. The man in the car called out to the farmer “How did you get all these three legged chickens?”

The farmer replied, “I breed ’em. Ya see it’s me, my wife and my son living here and we all like to eat the chicken leg. Since a chicken only has two legs, I started breeding this three legged variety so we could all eat our favorite piece.”

“That’s amazing!” said the driver “How do they taste?”

“Don’t rightly know, can’t catch ’em.”

JOKE #3

A man walked into a restaurant in a strange town. The waiter came and asked him for his order. Feeling lonely, he replied, “Meat loaf and a kind word.”

When the waiter returned with the meat loaf, the man said “Okay, so where’s the kind word?”

The waiter put down the meat loaf and sighed, bent down, and whispered gently, “Don’t eat the meat loaf.”

USELESS FACTS

Seven people died by drowning in 300,000 gallons of spilled beer during the London Beer Flood of 1814. ***Well, if you gotta go…

Good news for dieters – you now have a reason to quit.  A UCLA-UC Irvine study found that starving yourself doesn’t help you live longer.  ***It just makes life FEEL longer.

FEATURED FUNNIES

PARENT’S DAY

The father was very proud when his son went off to college. He came to tour the school on Parents’ Day and observed his son hard at work
in the chemistry lab. “What are you working on?” he asked.
“A universal solvent,” explained the son, ” a solvent that’ll dissolve anything.”
“The father whistled, clearly impressed, then wondered aloud, “What’ll you keep it in?”

IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!

IN-LAW AWARD

While most people say how much they hate their in-laws and can’t stand to be around them, Italy has decided to have a mother-in-law contest to reward the good ones!

Sure, it’s great to make jokes about the in-laws; I’m sure our in-laws find them funny as well because they have in-laws of their own. But actually CELEBRATE your mother-in-law? That’s just not natural, is it? But those Italians have gone and ruined it for the rest of us and have shown that not all mothers-in-law are worth the trouble that we give them. A 56-year-old Italian woman has been awarded the title of “Miss Mother in Law International”. Lucia Brugnone won the contest for her singing performance of “O sole mio”, which was described as “stunning”. Some 50 mothers in law showed off skills ranging from singing to sock-mending and cat-walking in the contest in Italy. (Because, a good mother-in-law does those kinds of things in Italy, I guess.) Mothers in law were judged by the lifeguards association of Rimini, which organized the contest. The second prize was won by Maria Cascinari, who is 87, for the “longest running activity in taking care of her sons’ family”. ***MARLAR: So FIRST prize goes to someone that can sing beautifully, but SECOND prize goes to someone that sacrifices her time and resources to take care of her son’s family? Is it really more important for a mother to SING than to be nurturing, caring, and responsible?

INSPIRATIONAL INSPIRATION

When people boast about themselves, it doesn’t count for much. But when the Lord commends someone, that’s different!” 2 Corinthians 10:18

Boasting is verbalized pride. It is self-commendation, bragging to others of our accomplishments. However, all that actually matters is what God thinks of us, not what others think. Boasting is the exact opposite of the meekness and gentleness of Christ. Paul refused to boast about his personal appearance, power, or accomplishments. Instead, he pointed out that his strength was a hidden force, unnoticed by the world but divinely powerful (2 Corinthians 10:3-4). Paul used his God-given authority, not for destruction, but for building up (2 Corinthians 10:8). He gave reports about the mission work he had accomplished, not to brag about what he had done, but to show what had been done by the grace of God. Without a doubt, Paul knew that “the person who wishes to boast should boast only of what the Lord has done” (2 Corinthians 10:17). Isaiah foresaw a day in which “pride will be brought low and the Lord alone will be exalted” (Isaiah 2:11). Satan’s proud, boasting spirit will one day be brought low, and no one will dare utter a boast against the Lord.

By Larry Stockstill

DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL

GARDEN OF PRAYER

Constant prayer was offered to God for him by the church. —Acts 12:5

When I was a pastor, I often visited residents in rest homes. I’ll never forget one dear elderly lady I met. She was blind and had been bedridden for 7 years, yet she remained sweet and radiant. One day she told me about a dream she had. She was in a beautiful garden, where the grass was a luxuriant carpet beneath her and the fragrance of flowers filled the air.

She dropped to her knees, entranced by the scene. As her thoughts were drawn heavenward, she felt the need to pray for her own pastor, for me, and for others. When she awakened, however, she discovered that she was still in her hospital bed. With a smile she said to me, “You know, Pastor, at first I was a bit disappointed. But in a sense the dream was true. This old bed has been a garden of prayer these 7 years!” Prayer had made her room a holy place of meditation and blessing.

Prayer also made a difference when Peter was in prison (Acts 12). It isn’t always easy to pray, for real intercession takes self-discipline. Many of us lapse into saying fine-sounding words without truly praying. God often drives us to our knees through the press of circumstances, where we are to “seek the Lord and His strength; seek His face evermore” (1 Chron. 16:11). —Herbert Vander Lugt

There’s a beautiful garden of fellowship sweet,
Where our prayers plant the seeds of reward;
And if there we will frequently make our retreat,
We shall gather rich store from the Lord! —Bosch

God and prayer go together; to neglect one is to neglect the other.

LEFTOVERS

FRANKENSTEIN FACTS

The classic horror flick “Frankenstein,” starring Boris Karloff as the monster, is celebrating its 85th anniversary this year. Here’s some trivia about the movie from the Internet Movie Database:

  • Not long before filming began, Colin Clive (Dr. Frankenstein) broke a leg in a horse riding accident. Consequently, most of Dr. Frankenstein’s scenes were shot with him sitting.

  • When filming the scene where the monster emerges from the burnt windmill, Boris Karloff slipped and fell into the water-filled well. Upon being helped out, he realized he had broken a leg in the fall. The metal struts used to stiffen his legs (for the famous “monster lurch”) helped keep the bones in place until they could be properly set.

  • The musical soundtrack for this film proved so popular, it was used again in the “Flash Gordon” serials starring Crabbe, Buster.

  • When Frankenstein’s castle is self-destructing, the Doctor can be seen against the far wall. Yet he is next seen outside in the arms of his beloved, watching the explosions. The reason is due to their being two endings shot for the film. The original ending had Doctor Frankenstein dying within the castle. But much later it was judged to be too harsh and they opted for a happier ending – so they shot the extra footage of Dr. Frankenstein outside of the castle with his love, but it was too expensive to re-film the explosions and burning down of the castle.

  • The movie was shot in 46 days at a cost of approximately $400,000. Boris Karloff sweated off 20 pounds laboring in the hot costume and makeup.

  • The “body count” in the original cut was 21. This was trimmed to 10 after pressure from the censors.

  • Director James Whale originally did not want to do a sequel to the movie.

  • Bela Lugosi (known for his Dracula roles) was originally offered the role of the Monster, but refused on the grounds that his character would not speak (though he eventually played the role in “Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man” in 1943. Lugosi also insisted on creating his own makeup for the Monster, but his design was rejected.

  • John Carradine turned down the part of the Monster because he considered himself too highly trained to be reduced to playing monsters.

LIFE… LIVE IT

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A CENTURY MAKES!  IN THE SUMMER OF 1900…

  • The average lifespan in America was 47 years.

  • Only 14% of homes in the U.S. had a bathtub!

  • Only 8% of homes had a telephone.

  • There were only 8000 cars in the U.S. and only 144 paved roads!

  • The average U.S. worker made between $200 and $400 a year!

  • More than 95% of all births took place at home.

  • 90% of all U.S. physicians had no college education. Instead, they attended medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press as being “substandard!”

  • Sugar cost 4 cents a pound. Eggs were 14 cents a dozen. Coffee cost 15 cents a pound.

  • The five leading causes of death in the U.S. were 1) Pneumonia and influenza, 2) TB, 3) Diharhea, 4) Heart disease, and 5) Stroke.

  • Plutonium, insulin, and antibiotics hadn’t been discovered yet. And to make matters worse, Scotch Tape, crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn’t been invented yet!

  • Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at your corner drugstores. According to one pharmacist, “Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and the bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health!” (Boy have things changed!)

JUST FOR FUN

LAUGHING AT YOURSELF

People always say it’s good to laugh at yourself from time to time but how often should you do it? Now research says we do it probably more often than we think.

A new study from the University of Maryland has claimed that most laughter comes from men enjoying their own jokes. Scientists found people laugh at their own gags up to 50% more than they laugh at other people’s. The team also discovered the majority of those giggling over their own jokes were men hoping to impress women.  ***MARLAR: And the majority of women’s laughter is a result of laughing at pathetic jokes told by men in order to be polite.

FUN LIST

BEST AND WORST HALLOWEEN GOODIES

If you want to impress the neighborhood kids on Halloween, you had better take a look at this list from Bon Appetit, which has ranked the top 10 best and worst Halloween candies of all time. The top 10 best Halloween candies of all time are:

  • Hershey’s Krackel

  • Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkin

  • Take 5

  • Pop Rocks

  • Anything sour or hot

  • Blue Razz Blow Pop

  • Whoppers

  • Snickers

  • Candy Corn

  • Anything full-size

The top 10 worst Halloween candies of all time are:

  • Candy Corn

  • Circus Peanuts

  • Raisins

  • Smarties

  • Necco Wafers

  • Werther’s Original

  • Plain Hershey’s

  • Dum Dum Pops

  • Milk Duds

  • Tootsie Rolls

MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…

SENTENCING BEATLES STYLE


A judge in Montana used a Beatles loving band against him during sentencing for the crime of stealing beer. When Judge Gregory Todd asked 20-year-old Andrew McCormack what he thought his sentence should be, Andrew wrote, “Like The Beatles say, Let it Be.” Judge Todd replied by saying, “Your response suggests there should be no consequences for your actions and I should ‘Let it Be’ so you can live in ‘Strawberry Fields Forever’. If I were to overlook your actions I would ignore that ‘Day in the Life’ on April 21. That night you said to yourself ‘I Feel Fine’ while drinking beer. Later, whether you wanted ‘Money’ or were just trying to ‘Act Naturally’ you became the ‘Fool on the Hill’. After you stole the beer you decided it was time to ‘Run For Your Life’ and ‘Carry That Weight’. But the witness said ‘Baby it’s You’, the police said ‘I’ll Get You’ and you had to admit ‘You Really Got a Hold on Me’. You were not able to ‘Get Back’ home because of the ‘Chains’ they put on you. Although you hoped the police would say ‘I Don’t Want to Spoil the Party’ and ‘We Can Work it Out’, you were in ‘Misery’ when they said you were a ‘Bad Boy’. As a result of your ‘Hard Day’s Night’ you’re looking at a ‘Ticket to Ride’ that ‘Long and Winding Road’ to prison. Hopefully you can say both now and ‘When I’m 64’ that ‘I Should Have Known Better’.” Mr. McCormack got probation, community service and a fine. (Ananova)

OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP

How you decorate your office not only says something about who you are, but also sends a not-so-subtle message to your boss that could actually have an impact on how fast you climb the career ladder! Family photos, kids’ artwork and favorite knickknacks help personalize an office workspace, but too many personal touches and trinkets may reflect poorly on your professional image, according to researchers at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor and McGill University in Montreal, Quebec in Canada. How much is too much? It’s an easy answer: 22 percent. That is, if more than one in five items that adorns your office or cubicle is personal in nature, you could be perpetrating an image that is viewed as unprofessional. The researchers found that the image of someone who is professional versus unprofessional reflects the proportion of objects that reference their personal, non-work life. Age and gender have no significant effect, although participants in the study expected women — more than men — to minimize the number of personal items overall.

It’s called the Sunday Night Blues. How you feel on Sunday about going back to work on Monday morning will tell you if it’s time to find a new job. While some of the dread may simply be making that weekly transition from leisure to work, you know it’s something more serious if you’re feeling trapped, hopeless or anxious about returning to the office. The Sunday Night Blues are fairly common with some 76 percent of American workers saying they suffer from it, according to a Monster.com survey. But having the blues vs. sobbing your eyes out is something different. Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and the author of “Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job,” told Business Insider that job anxiety can steal not only your joy, but also compromise your health. Is it time to find a new job? Listen to what your gut tells you on Sunday evening. You’ll find the answer there.

When Margaret Boemer’s checkup revealed her unborn baby, Lynlee, was going into heart failure, she said she had no option but to try fetal surgery. During the surgery the doctor took Lynlee from the womb and removed the tumor from her spine. Once back into her mother’s womb, blood flow from mom to baby encouraged growth, healing and a healthy delivery at 36 weeks. Boemer said “It was her second birth, basically.” “her heart had time to heal while I was still pregnant with her so she has no heart issues now and is just doing amazing.”  ***This is why God created doctors!  http://on.today.com/2eqwtQN

Could “air bombs” be the reason for so many mysterious disappearances of planes and boats in the Bermuda Triangle over the years? According to Today.com, A pair of meteorologists speaking to the Science Channel’s “What on Earth?” believe that hexagonal-shaped clouds seen on satellite imagery could be the key to figuring out why the Bermuda Triangle has become notorious for disappearances of aircraft, ships and people. Dr. Randy Cerveny of Arizona State University says these “air bombs” pack winds up up to 170 miles per hour, more than enough to send an airplane hurtling down from the sky or create waves to capsize a ship. Cerveny added that the satellite images could allow authorities to trigger an alarm for any aircraft or ships when a hexagonal cloud is detected in order to save lives.

http://on.today.com/2eruVU9

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT

The other day a friend of mine was explaining his reason for being a vegetarian. He said, “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals, I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.”

THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER

Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).

OCTOBER 28, 2016…

The Eagle Huntress—Here is a beautifully filmed documentary (true story) of a young girl in Mongolia who wants to become an eagle trainer/hunter. This is something only men of that area have done for generations, or even centuries. How to catch a baby bird, how to become friends with the wild creature—all this is shown. However, she must go against tradition. “The Eagle Huntress” is rated PG 13. Rating of 3 for fans of birds.

Inferno—Tom Hanks, fresh off “Scully,” now takes on the role of Robert Langdon in Dan Brown’s novel concerning deciphering clues from “Dante’s Inferno.” Of course, there is a villain to stop him, and Felicity Jones is there as Hanks’ partner in the search.  “Inferno” is rated PG 13. Rating of 2 for fans of Dan Brown’s works.

Rings—Oh, yes, Halloween must be near. You thought the video tapes were gone? Ha. It is back cursing anyone who watches it and this includes Alex Roe and Matilda Lutz. “Rings” is rated R. No rating.

NOVEMBER 04, 2016…

Bleed  For This is the story of a boxer, who suffered a near fatal injury in an accident and goes back into the ring. Stars Miles Teller.

Doctor Strange is adapted from a comic book and has Benedict Cumberbatch in the title role.

Hacksaw Ridge with Andrew Garfield (former Spider-Man) is based on the true story of a conscientious objector in WWII. Mel Gibson directs.

Loving is a true story about the romance between a white man (Joel Edgerton) and a back woman (Ruth Negga).

Trolls is an animated film on the lives of the little troll dolls. Remember them? One of the voices is Justin Timberlake.

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WARNING: Don’t believe anything you read on the Internet or email (including stuff you read here) unless you can confirm it with another source, and/or it is consistent with what you already know to be true. The opinions in this publication are not necessarily those of Darren Marlar, Marlar House Entertainment, OnAirPrep.com, or any company or organization affiliated with aforementioned. (Regardless of how stupid you may think those opinions are. So there – nyah!)

Darren Marlar credits all non-original material to the author whenever possible. All other material is original, used with permission, or author unknown. We welcome all comments, questions, and suggestions. Darren can be reached via his website at www.DarrenMarlar.com.