Old snake… older lady.

• 1989: Methusaleh the rattlesnake died at Tabor College in Hillsboro, Kansas. Methusaleh was captured fully grown in 1960, so he was at least 30 or 31 years old, which may have made him the oldest rattlesnake in history. So they stuffed him.

• 1997: 122-year-old Jeanne Calment, died in Marseille, France.  She was the oldest woman in the world.  ***MARLAR: So they stuffed her.  Oops… sorry, wrong story line – that was the rattlesnake.

• Today is HAMMOCK APPRECIATION DAY.  ***MARLAR: I’ve always wanted one of these, but there’s no room in the on-air studio.

• Today is NATIONAL WATERMELON DAY.  The U.S. Department of Agriculture says cold watermelon is much less nutritious than room temperature watermelon.  ***MARLAR: The report came from the office of the Undersecretary of Killing All Summertime Joy.

• Tonight is NATIONAL NIGHT OUT.  It’s supposed to heighten crime prevention awareness and to promote police-community partnerships.  ***MARLAR: But if you just hear “Night Out” – doesn’t that make you think you’re supposed to go out for the evening?  And doesn’t that just leave your home open for crime to take place?

• Today is WATCH “SESAME STREET” WITH A CHILD DAY.  ***MARLAR: This holiday brought to you by the number one, the letter “K”, and the color green.

• Today is LOST VOYAGE DAY.  On this date in 1492 Christopher Columbus set sail from Palos, Spain, on a voyage that took him to the present-day Americas.  ***MARLAR: Of course, he was truly looking for INDIA.  Christopher Columbus became a national hero because he got lost.  That’s right, ladies… even back in 1492, men never stopped to ask for directions.

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