ONLY IN THE MOVIES

IMAXThe summer movie season is in full swing. So Men’s Health came up with this list of things happen all the time on screen, but never in real life: “I’ve never…”

• Bumped my head and gotten amnesia.

• Left the water on in the bathroom sink long enough to flood the whole house.

• Been chased through the forest, tripped, and twisted my ankle, compromising my escape, but I still say, “Don’t stop. Go on without me.”

• Been stuck in an elevator.

• Been stuck in an elevator with a pregnant woman.

• Said, “Open this door or I’m breaking it down.”

• Found myself on top of a moving train.

• Picked a lock with a credit card.

• Said, “Don’t do it, man. Just give me the gun.”

• Been to a wedding where someone stood up and objected.

• Collapsed onto my car horn.

• Seen a bunch of homeless guys standing around a flaming trash can, singing doo-wop and wearing gloves with the fingers cut off.

• Dialed a “555” phone number.

• Closed my medicine-cabinet door and seen someone in the mirror who wasn’t there 3 seconds ago.

• Run into a church where the girl I loved was about to get married to someone else, but upon seeing me stopped the wedding and professed her love to me.

• Rushed to the airport to stop the woman I just realized I love from leaving, and as I get to the gate, I see her plane pulling away, and then feel empty because I think that my best chance at love is now gone, but, as I turn away, she’s standing there because she decided at the last minute not to get on the plane because she realized that she loves me too and was hoping I would come to the airport to get her.

 

Creative Commons License photo credit: papalars

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