***DAILY DOSE OF WEIRD NEWS! (As an ONAIRprep subscriber, you can gain access to all of the work parts for the Daily Dose of Weird News, allowing you to edit for length and content – and also receive a custom tag specifically for your station or show which you can have updated at any time… ABSOLUTELY FREE! IT’S PART OF YOUR SUBSCRIPTION! Email me to get more information, FTP access and your free customized tag!)
WELCOME TO THE SHOW!
I’m glad you could join me. A little later we’ll give you the opportunity to mail in a $20 bill — and receive a beautiful hand-written “Thank You” note.
It’s go-time! Stop twerking, start working!
BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY
“A man’s pride will bring him low, but the humble in spirit will retain honor.” –Proverbs 29:23
[Jesus said] “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” –John 13:34
Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker; for he is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care. — Psalm 95:6-7
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? — Matthew 6:25
HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT
When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her [the woman caught in adultery].” — John 8:7
Thought: When we find it easy to identify the sin of others, God wants us to be reminded of how important it is for us to take a rigorously honest inventory of our own faithfulness. He wants us to deal with our own sin before we evaluate anyone else.
Prayer: Forgive me, Father God, for my sins. Forgive me, especially Father, for the sin of a critical and judgmental spirit. Deliver me from such hurtful and evil habits, forgive me of my sins, and please bless me with faithfulness. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to firstname.lastname@example.org.
“BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY (The chapter and verse correspond to the month and day!)
Psalm 9:2 NIV = I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.
TODAY IS SATURDAY – SEPTEMBER 02, 2017
(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 113 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.
Today is ANOTHER LOOK UNLIMITED DAY. Survey your possessions and give surplus items to charity. You can take your stuff to places like the Salvation Army or other thrift stores and help those less fortunate than you!
Today is NATIONAL BLUEBERRY POPSICLE DAY. ***Or “Blue Tongue Day” if you prefer.
V-J DAY ***And no, America, it has absolutely nothing to do with the early days of MTV or VH1.
TODAY IS ALSO…
Bison-ten Yell Day
Cow Chip Throwing days
Franchise Appreciation Day
National Buffalo Chicken Wings Days
National No Patrick Day
National Tailgating Day
National Writing Date Day
World Beard Day
COMING UP NEXT (Just a list, we are not endorsing the holidays posted below. Find more holidays and link to their websites at BrownieLocks.com)
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 03
Bowling League Day
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 04
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 05
Newspaper Carrier Day
Another Look Unlimited Day
Be Late For Something Day
International Day of Charity
Jury Rights Day
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 06
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 07
Google Commemoration (Founded) Day
Grandma Moses Day
National Attention Deficit Disorder Awareness Day
“Neither Snow nor Rain” Day
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 08
International Literacy Day
National Ampersand Day
National Dog Walker Appreciation Day
Pediatric Hematology/Oncology Nurses Day
Stand Up To Cancer Day
Virgin Mary Day (birthday)
World Physical Therapy Day
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 09
Care Bears Share Your Care Day
International Buy A Priest A Beer Day
International Drive Your Studebaker Day
Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders Day
Farmers’ Consumer Awareness Day
National Day of Remembrance for Aborted Children
National Hollerin’ Day
National Iguana Awareness Day
National Teddy Bear Day
Opposite Day (Do the Opposite of What You Normally Do. Breathing, living, etc. is the exception)
Wonderful Weirdoes Day
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 10
National Hug Your Hound Day
National Pet Memorial Day
Swap Ideas Day
(World) Suicide Prevention Day
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 11
Libraries Remember Day
Miss America Pageant
National Day of Service and Remembrance
Pet Rock Day
Remember Freedom Day
ON THIS DAY
1901: U.S. Vice-President Theodore Roosevelt offered the advice, “Speak softly and carry a big stick,” in a speech at the Minnesota State Fair.
1912: The first Calgary Stampede began in Alberta, but it was called “The Last and Best Great West Frontier Days Celebration.”
1923: The movie classic “The Hunchback of Notre Dame,” starring Lon Chaney, was released throughout the U.S.
1948: Christa Corrigan was born in Boston. In 1986 the New Hampshire schoolteacher, Christa McAuliffe, to be the first ordinary citizen in space, died with six crew members when the space shuttle Challenger exploded.
1963: Walter Cronkite anchored the first half-hour newscast on network television. He interviewed President John Kennedy.
1976: Dana Dover, Gary Mandau, and Chris Lyons of Portland, Oregon, set a world record by completing a merry-go-round ride of 312 hours 43 minutes. (13 days).
1978: At the wedding of Emilio Estefan and Gloria Fajardo, arriving guests had to do the conga on the way to their seats.
1988: Responding to an alligator baby boom, Florida held its first full-scale alligator hunt in 26 years.
1993: The Economist magazine reported that Japan’s meteorology service had abandoned a study to determine if earthquakes were caused by catfish wiggling their tails. After seven years of research the agency refused to confirm or deny the Japanese legend.
1995: The first song ever to debut on the Billboard Hot 100 at #1 was Michael Jackson’s “You Are Not Alone.”
1999: The Clintons bought a home in the New York suburb of Chappaqua for $1.7 million, establishing residency for first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton, who planned to run for the U.S. Senate.
2000: Singer Brian Littrell of the Backstreet Boys married longtime girlfriend Leighanne.
2002: A Chinese couple who walked around Hangzhou handcuffed together to show their love were arrested when mistaken for escaped convicts. The couple was released after promising never to misuse police gear again.
2003: A federal appeals court in San Francisco threw out more than 100 death sentences in Arizona, Montana and Idaho because the inmates had been sent to death row by judges instead of juries.
2011: In New York a taxi collided with a horse-drawn carriage. ***MARLAR: Really? You need a punchline for that one?
TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY
actress (Desperado, Once Upon A Time In Mexico) Salma Hayek 51
actress (Libby on “Lost”, Kellie on “The Drew Carey Show”) Cynthia Watros 49 (audio clip)
actor (Matrix movies, Speed, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure) Keanu Reeves is 53
actress (“Port Charles”, Charlene on “Matlock”) Linda Purl 62
actor (“St. Elsewhere”, “Chicago Hope”, “NCIS”) Mark Harmon 66 (audio clip)
sportscaster/former quarterback/commercial pitch-man, Terry Bradshaw 69
(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)
1925 : Hugo Montenegro
1925 : Russ Conway
1939 : Bobby Dickey (James & Bobby Purify)
1939 : Sam Gooden (The Impressions)
1940 : Jimmy Clanton
1943 : Joe Simon
1943 : Rosalind Ashford (Martha and the Vandellas)
1946 : Marty Grebb (The Buckinghams)
1951 : Mik Kaminski (Electric Light Orchestra)
1956 : Fritz McIntyre (Simply Red)
1957 : Steve Porcaro (Toto)
1958 : Jerry Augustyniak (10,000 Maniacs)
1969 : K-Ci Hailey (Jodeci)
1975 : Tony Thompson (Hi-Five)
SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE (Answering questions that have plagued mankind for minutes!)
Can you really hear the ocean if you hold a seashell to your ear?
YES! (If you happen to be standing next to the ocean.) I remember when I was young, holding a seashell to my ear. I couldn’t believe it… I heard the ocean! And I was in Olathe, Kansas! When I got older, I knew better than to think it was the ocean; I figured it must just be the sound of blood rushing through my ears. Science, unfortunately, throws cold water on my entire experience! You’re not hearing the ocean or even the sound of the blood circulating through your ears. And a coffee cup or drinking glass may produce similar sounds. Whatever you’re holding to your ear is simply amplifying some of the sounds around you. Which ones get magnified, or resonate, depends on the size and shape of what you have against your ear. So if you want to hear the ocean, you have to go to the beach.
(None on weekends. Want a customizable version with your specific station tag, FREE? Email me for more information! )
NEW NEWS KICKERS…
(Not posted on weekends.)
NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…
(Not posted on weekends.)
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MONDAY/TUESDAY’S EPISODE (Same both days due to the U.S. Labor Day holiday)
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, Millard the Monkey was fixated on one and only one thing… to do whatever he could to beat Steve Mozart at something. He’s tried everything, and his latest project was so frustrating that he pounded the table, a vase fell and broke on his head, and now Millard is in the hospital!
CLOSE: Now that’s gotta hurt! Not the shot, that is – but the idea that even Steve Mozart gets more attention in the hospital! Maybe Millard should just give this whole idea up. It’s getting way too dangerous now. Hopefully he’ll learn his lesson in our next episode of As the Jungle Turns!
***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of “As the Jungle Turns” in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us and ask about “Jungle Jam & Friends the Radio Show” usage.
MOMENT OF DUH
Some people break into movies without even trying.
Police in North Andover, Massachusetts, accidentally interrupted a movie set thinking it was the site of a robbery attempt. Director John Depew said he was filming a scene at a convenience store when police officers suddenly stormed in. Two actors playing robbers were handcuffed by the officers. The confusion stemmed from a 911 call from an unidentified individual who said a robbery was taking place at the store.
TOP TEN WAYS TO KNOW YOU ARE GETTING OLDER
10. Your favorite part of the newspaper is “25 Years Ago Today…”
9. You turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic ones.
8. The little grey haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
7. Your knees buckle and your belt won’t.
6. You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.
5. You regret all those mistakes resisting temptation.
4. After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying a second coat.
3. Dialing long distance wears you out.
2. You have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.
1. The best part of your day is over when your alarm clock goes off.
THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER
Criminal Career Tip #432: after robbing a bank, do not go flashing the money around just a few doors away!
FILE #1: A bank robber stopped off on his way to getting away from a bank robbery a block from the bank, to buy a drink that he paid for by pulling a $50 bill from a ”bag bulging with large denominations,” according to police who were alerted when another store employee flagged them down.
FILE #2: This guy must be related to the guy in our first file. A bank robber was caught by police after giving in to his craving for a soda pop — and a new shirt. Joseph Magnotti was arrested in a Subway sandwich shop, a few minutes after a man wearing a bright red shirt robbed a nearby bank. Maybe Magnotti didn’t see the ‘No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service’ sign. He had shoes, but he wasn’t wearing a shirt when he entered Subway. He ordered a drink, and paid with a $50 bill — which he took from a bag bulging with large denominations. Magnotti then offered to buy an employee’s shirt for $20. Another store employee thought this was suspicious, went outside and flagged down a police officer who was passing by on a bicycle. He arrested Magnotti, now wearing a Subway shirt. Subway employee Shalandra Pitts said ‘We never had anybody want to buy a shirt before’.
FILE #3: A man has been threatened with jail for wearing shorts in court in Malta. Simon Chircop turned up wearing shorts and a T-shirt for a traffic matter at the court on the Mediterranean island. Magistrate Carol Peralta said he was showing disrespect and fined him £38. She said if he can’t pay the shorts fine he will go to jail. Chircop was also fined for driving without a valid license. He told the bench he did not have enough money to pay the fine for wearing shorts. The magistrate told him: “If you don’t pay the fine within the time prescribed by law, you will go to prison to make up for it.”
STRANGE LAW: In Wichita, KS it is illegal to carry a concealed bean snapper.
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS
“This Is Your Brain On Drugs” is about people doing dumb things under the influence, but addiction is no laughing matter. If you or someone you know needs help, there’s a toll free number you can call 1-800-438-0380. That’s the Addiction Hope and Help Line at 1-800-438-0380.
You won’t find this business listed on the mall directory.
Federal agents report they’ve busted up a pot growing operation in the Mall of the Americas in Miami. The hydroponic grow house was located deep in a storeroom at the mall. Agents say growers tapped into the mall’s power lines for electricity, but the amateur wiring could have caused a fire. No one was arrested, though 200 plants were seized. Authorities aren’t saying what tipped them to the mall marijuana.
What creative things have you done to get your kids to try something new?
BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!
QUESTION: Which king consulted the witch of Endor (woman with a familiar spirit)?
ANSWER: King Saul (I Samuel 28:7)
QUESTION: What large U.S. city is named after a type of garlic?
ANSWER: Chicago. (Chicago got it’s name from the American Indian word for the wild garlic that grew around Lake Michigan – “chicagaoua”.)
TRUE OR FALSE
Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!
1. The baseball team that was the first in history to score 1000 runs in a 162-game season was the Indians. (True)
2. Jay Leno once made a guest appearance on “Laverne and Shirley”. (True)
3. In “Knight Rider”, K.I.T.T.’s name stands for Kill Industry Two Thousand. (False, Knight Industries Two Thousand)
4. The name of the robot girl on “Small Wonder” was Cindy Lou. (False, Vicki)
5. In “Family Ties” Alex P. Keaton’s idol was Jimmy Carter. (False – Richard Nixon)
6. The name of the Dukes of Hazzards car is the General Lee. (True)
7. More women claim to be natural redheads, although statistics prove otherwise. (True)
8. On “Three’s Company”, the name “Chrissy” is short for Christmas. (True)
9. The show, “Just the 10 Of Us” was a spinoff of Family Ties. (False, Growing Pains)
10. Tom Hanks played the Uncle on Family Ties. (True)
TABLOID MATCH GAME
You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!
WOMAN FINDS GIANT _____ BUCKET (KFC)
Aleena Headrick says, “I was driving by, I saw this giant Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket in my yard, and I thought for sure I was hallucinating, so I called my teenagers who were at home and had them go outside.”
It appeared Thursday afternoon and she had no idea where it came from or who it belongs to. Maybe it’s a sign? We’ve heard of heavenly manna, but what about original recipe? Headrick says, “Too often we just need something to laugh about and so I put it on Facebook and told them that I would bring chicken to the next potluck.”
The bucket has already become a popular landmark. Headrick says people have been stopping to take pictures with it.
Freddie Taylor is Headrick’s landlord. He collects signs like this, and he says the bucket is quite a find. He says, “That bucket right there, if you notice it, it doesn’t say KFC. It says Kentucky Fried Chicken. That bucket’s probably forty years old.”
Taylor plans to have it mounted on a pole so it will be permanently displayed for all to see. But Headrick isn’t mad. She says it will make her house hard to miss. She says, “It’s unusual but it makes a really good landmark when people come to our house. We can just say, ‘Come down to the giant KFC bucket and turn right.’”
THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY
Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation. En route, with siren going, they questioned the man to determine his level of awareness.
Leaning close, one asked, “Sir, do you know what we’re doing right now?”
The old man slowly looked up at him, then gazed out the ambulance window. “Oh,” he replied, “I’d say about 50, maybe 55.”
After 50 years of wondering why he didn’t look like his younger sister or brother, the man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted.
“Yes, you were son,” his mother said as she started to cry softly . . . “but it didn’t work out and they brought you back.”
“I see you went crazy at the big summer clearance sale,” Wanda comments, as she looks at all the bags of merchandise her friend, Carol just brought home from the store. “You got that right … I almost bought their elevator ’cause it was marked down.”
A half-hour of kissing reduces the body’s allergic reaction to pollen, according to Japanese researchers at Satou Hospital. How? Kissing relaxes the body and that reduces the production of histamine. ***Question… how can you kiss for half an hour when you can’t breathe due to your pollen allergy?
My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant.
When an elderly waiter set chopsticks at our places, Ann made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her own pair.
“As an environmentalist,” she declared, “I do not approve of destroying bamboo forests for throwaway utensils.”
The waiter inspected her chopsticks.
“Very beautiful,” he said politely. “Ivory.”
IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!
Can a dead person sue a hospital?
A Jackson Township, Indiana, woman is suing a hospital, claiming she is owed damages for the trouble she was caused when doctors pronounced another woman with the same name dead last winter. Diane Wright, 67, says Porter Hospital caused her to lose her Social Security and health insurance after they allegedly notified various agencies that she had died. In addition, the federal government sent a claim to Wright’s husband demanding repayment of nearly $3,000 in Social Security benefits paid to his “late” wife. The dearly departed was actually another Diane Wright, who died in January at Porter.
The man whispered, “God, speak to me” and a meadowlark sang. But the man did not hear.
So the man yelled “God, speak to me” And, the thunder rolled across the sky. But the man did not listen.
The man looked around and said, “God let me see you.” And a star shined brightly. But the man did not notice.
And, the man shouted, “God show me a miracle” And, a life was born. But the man did not know.
So, the man cried out in despair, “Touch me God, and let me know you are here,” whereupon, God reached down and touched the man. But the man brushed the butterfly away and walked on.
Don’t miss out on a blessing because it isn’t packaged the way that you expect.
DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL
FOR THE POOR
READ: Deuteronomy 15:7-11
Open your hand wide to your brother, to your poor and your needy, in your land. —Deuteronomy 15:11
he man sits on the street corner day after day, begging for money. He’s poor and desperate for a little cash to spend on food.
He’s not alone. More than one-half of the world’s people live below the internationally defined poverty line of less than $2.00 a day. Poverty and hunger are such a big problem in our world that it’s easy for us to feel helpless or to become hard-hearted and do nothing.
But God doesn’t close His eyes to the plight of the poor. When He gave His people guidelines for living, He included instructions on ways to care for the needy (Deut. 15:11). He told His people, “You shall not harden your heart, nor shut your hand, from your poor brother, [but] open your hand wide to him and willingly lend him sufficient for his need” (vv.7-8).
God also commanded His people not to glean the corners of their fields so that the less fortunate could gather food (Lev. 19:9-10). And Jesus showed His compassion for the poor by His words and actions. As Christians, we cannot ignore the plight of the poor today. Individuals and churches can join with Christian organizations working to combat poverty as they spread the Word. God has a heart for the poor. Do we? —Anne Cetas
The poor and needy everywhere
Are objects of God’s love and care,
But they will better know His care
As we seek ways that love to share. —D. De Haan
God gives us all we need so we can give to those in need.
Another reason to eat breakfast: Skipping it may increase your chances of a heart attack. A study of older men found those who regularly skipped breakfast had a 27 percent higher risk of a heart attack than those who ate a morning meal. Why would skipping breakfast be a heart attack risk? Experts aren’t certain, but here’s what they think: People who don’t eat breakfast are more likely to be hungrier later in the day and eat larger meals. Those meals mean the body must process a larger amount of calories in a shorter amount of time. That can spike sugar levels in the blood and perhaps lead to clogged arteries.
LIFE… LIVE IT
TEN SECRETS TO A STRESS-FREE PERSONAL LIFE
1. Create boundaries. Boundaries reflect what other people can or cannot do or say to you, for instance, “I am only able to listen to you when you speak calmly without shouting.” This will leave you feeling protected from hurtful situations.
2. Ask people to help you. Choose 3 things today that you can receive help with and ask for it. You will have less to cope with and get done, can stop being a hero who does it all and leave the other person feeling important with a sense of responsibility
3. Quiet your mind at least once a day. Concentrate on your breathing and let all of your thoughts go.
4. Explore and experience your feelings fully. For example, when you feel sad allow yourself to be sad rather than try to pick yourself up and pretend it doesn’t manner. It’s okay to feel sad, happy, frustrated…accepting your feelings rather than fighting them helps you to know where in your life to make changes and reduce stress.
5. Plan a fun activity every day. It can be for just 5 minutes or as long as you want such as watching a comedy, dancing, a water-pistol fight with friends…. You will have something to look forward to each day, keeping fun and balance in your life.
6. Communicate your feelings using the statement “I feel….” Such as, “I feel unimportant when you don’t telephone me during the day.” You will feel less conflict as you are owning your feelings and talking about the other person’s behavior, not them personally.
7. Write in your journal every day. Find a time that works best for you, maybe first thing in the morning or last thing at night and write about your thoughts, feelings, ideas, stressful situations…. You will safely explore and clarify your life and priorities, enabling you to make choices and to take action based on these.
8. Take time for yourself on a regular basis. Perhaps you might take a long bath, read, have quiet time alone or whatever feels good for you. You will feel good about yourself and more relaxed and energized to enjoy your life more fully.
9. Use the words “Would you…” when asking for things. For example, “Would you look after my plants while I am on holiday?” You are more likely to achieve a ‘yes’ as the other person is left feeling capable and having a choice rather than being told to what to do.
10. Show your appreciation. Every day tell someone that you appreciate them, “I appreciate the way you’ve supported me through this emotional time.” We all need to feel appreciated and showing appreciation to others will allow you to live in a more loving way.
JUST FOR FUN
Can you be banned from playing in Little League because you’re too good of a player?
Nine-year-old Jericho Scott can throw a baseball almost 40 mph, pretty impressive for a kid and apparently too impressive for the Youth Baseball League of New Haven in Connecticut. The League told Jericho he can no longer pitch on the league, but he took the mound last week anyway. The opposing team saw Jericho ready to play and forfeited the game. Officials said they plan on disbanding Jericho’s team and will put the players on other teams in the league. Coach Wilfred Vidro said, “How can you punish a kid for being too good?”
WEIRDEST MOVIE TITLES OF ALL TIME
(According to oddee.com)
“The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies” (1963)
“Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter” (1966)
“Can Hieronymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?” (1969)
“Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” (1964)
“The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini” (1966)
“Manos, the Hands of Fate” (1966)
Rat Pfink a Boo Boo” (1966)
MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…
SORRY, WE CAN’T GIVE YOU A LOAN BECAUSE YOU POKED TOO MANY PEOPLE
You’re already concerned about your credit score; one day you may also have to be concerned about your Facebook friends – because a few tech startups are using social data when determining whether to loan you money. One company checks out whether your Facebook friends list includes anyone who’s ever been late paying back a Lenddo loan, and, if so, how often you interact with that person. ***MARLAR: Sorry – we can’t give you a loan because you’ve poked too many people!
OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP
(Not posted on weekends.)
(Only posted as stories come available. Not posted on weekends.)
(Only posted as stories come available. Not posted on weekends.)
AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT
I was at Taco Bell last night and I heard this woman in front of me ordering. She asked the kid behind the counter for “minimal lettuce.” He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER
Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 35 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).
SEPTEMBER 01, 2017…
Close Encounters Of The Third Kind (1977)—Ok, raise your hand. How many readers have this film of space alien encounters as one of their favorite, favorite films. Not to mention the killer soundtrack by John Williams. This year is the 40th anniversary of the release of “Close Encounters” so you can see it again on the large screen. Richard Dreyfuss has gone on to other films and screen characters, but he will be remembered for the repairman, Roy, who has an encounter on a country road (remember those lights from behind?), his mashed potato episode and what the word “Mayflower” means. The words of the title come from a classification, developed by J. Allen Hynek, if you should meet a space alien. Third Kind” means humans actually see the space aliens. Some people may stand and stare, some may run for the hills. Either way, you will have seen “something unusual.” The term “mothership” has also gained credence. The cast included Melinda Dillon, Teri Garr, Bob Balaban, Cary Guffey and Francois Truffaut (yes, he did act here.) “Close Encounters Of The Third Kind” is rated PG 13. Enjoy…and a rating of 4.
Goon: Last Of The Enforcers—Hockey fans out there, here, again, is Seann William Scott in the role of Doug “The Thug” in the 2011 film, “Goon.” A term used for hockey enforcers, “goon,” is really a bully on ice. Scott reprises the same role in “Goon: Last Of The Enforcers.” These films are called sports comedies, but be aware of sports violence as they use nefarious techniques to “get” their opponents and to spice up the game for fans. You see the same in wrestling (beware of what is under the ring). In “Goon,” Doug decided to temporarily retire from the game after many penalties. He actually is a nice person, but sometimes slow to catch on to situations. In the 2017 film, Doug is called out of retirement to help his team with a notorious enforcer from another team. Both scripts were co-written by Jay Baruchel, who directed the first film and acts in the second one. The action shots are good and Seann William Scott is a credible action star. Also in the cast are Alison Pill, Liev Schreiber (as Ross “The Boss”, the other “enforcer“), Marc-Andre Grondin, Kim Coates and Eugene Levy. “Goon: Last Of The Enforcers” is rated R. Rating of 3 for fans.
Viceroy’s House (opening in select cities)—This film is a colorful story about India trying to gain independence after WWII. The word “colonialism” has meaning here. Gillian Anderson (“X-Files”) and Hugh Bonneville (“Downton Abbey”) are the stars. Curinder Chadha is the director. “Viceroy’s House” is rated PG 13. No rating.
I Do…Until I Don’t—This is a film about marriage vows. What if…part of the marriage vow was omitted? The line about “…till death do us part…” Hmm. Three couples, one of which is Lake Bell and Ed Helms, are trying to figure this one out.”I Do…Until I Don’t…” is rated PG 13. No rating.
SEPTEMBER 08, 2017…
Home Again stars Reese Witherspoon as a divorcee who goes back home to live with family and finds romance again.
IT is adapted from the Stephen King thriller about a killer clown in a small Maine village. Stars Bill Skarsgard.
Rebel In The Rye is a biopic about the author J. D. Salinger (Nicholas Hoult) and creativity in writing.
9/11 is adapted from a play and concerns people trapped in an elevator during the 9/11 attack. Stars Charlie Sheen.
# # # # #
WARNING: Don’t believe anything you read on the Internet or email (including stuff you read here) unless you can confirm it with another source, and/or it is consistent with what you already know to be true. The opinions in this publication are not necessarily those of Darren Marlar, Marlar House Entertainment, OnAirPrep.com, or any company or organization affiliated with aforementioned. (Regardless of how stupid you may think those opinions are. So there – nyah!)
Darren Marlar credits all non-original material to the author whenever possible. All other material is original, used with permission, or author unknown. We welcome all comments, questions, and suggestions. Darren can be reached via his website at www.DarrenMarlar.com.