***DAILY DOSE OF WEIRD NEWS! (As an ONAIRprep subscriber, you can gain access to all of the work parts for the Daily Dose of Weird News, allowing you to edit for length and content – and also receive a custom tag specifically for your station or show which you can have updated at any time… ABSOLUTELY FREE! IT’S PART OF YOUR SUBSCRIPTION! Email me to get more information, FTP access and your free customized tag!)
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Somebody refresh my memory. How many cars are allowed through an intersection after the light turns red? Is it two or four?
BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY
God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. — Hebrews 6:10
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. –2 Corinthians 12:9
What you heard from me, keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus. Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you — guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us. — 2 Timothy 1:13-14
Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. — Psalm 25:4-5
HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT
But food does not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat, and no better if we do. Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak. — 1 Corinthians 8:8-9
Thought: We have incredible freedom under grace. However, our freedom never gives us the license to destroy a weak brother or sister’s walk with the Lord. Let’s use our freedom considerately, especially toward our new brothers and sisters in Christ. These new Christians need our encouragement; they already have enough stumbling blocks!
Prayer: God of all grace, please help me to be an encouragement and a good example to new Christians and those who are weak in their faith. Please, help me guard my life from being a bad example to others. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to email@example.com.
“BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY (The chapter and verse correspond to the month and day!)
Nehemiah 9:5 NIV = …“Stand up and praise the LORD your God, who is from everlasting to everlasting.” “Blessed be your glorious name, and may it be exalted above all blessing and praise.
TODAY IS TUESDAY – SEPTEMBER 05, 2017
(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 110 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.
Today is BE LATE FOR SOMETHING DAY, sponsored by the Procrastinators’ Club of America. ***Of course, they were supposed to send us this information last week.
Today is NATIONAL CHEESE PIZZA DAY.
Today is JURY RIGHTS DAY, marking the day in 1670 when William Penn’s jurors refused to convict him of preaching an illegal religion (Quakerism) to an unlawful assembly, his congregation. The action provided the bases for the U.S. Constitution’s first amendment rights of freedom of speech, religion, and peaceable assembly.
PLAY DAYS are this week, a time to lighten up and laugh at work to reaffirm our humanity and our sanity. ***So thanks for joining me!
TODAY IS ALSO…
Newspaper Carrier Day
Another Look Unlimited Day
Be Late For Something Day
International Day of Charity
Jury Rights Day
COMING UP NEXT (Just a list, we are not endorsing the holidays posted below. Find more holidays and link to their websites at BrownieLocks.com)
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 06
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 07
Google Commemoration (Founded) Day
Grandma Moses Day
National Attention Deficit Disorder Awareness Day
“Neither Snow nor Rain” Day
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 08
International Literacy Day
National Ampersand Day
National Dog Walker Appreciation Day
Pediatric Hematology/Oncology Nurses Day
Stand Up To Cancer Day
Virgin Mary Day (birthday)
World Physical Therapy Day
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 09
Care Bears Share Your Care Day
International Buy A Priest A Beer Day
International Drive Your Studebaker Day
Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders Day
Farmers’ Consumer Awareness Day
National Day of Remembrance for Aborted Children
National Hollerin’ Day
National Iguana Awareness Day
National Teddy Bear Day
Opposite Day (Do the Opposite of What You Normally Do. Breathing, living, etc. is the exception)
Wonderful Weirdoes Day
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 10
National Hug Your Hound Day
National Pet Memorial Day
Swap Ideas Day
(World) Suicide Prevention Day
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 11
Libraries Remember Day
Miss America Pageant
National Day of Service and Remembrance
Pet Rock Day
Remember Freedom Day
National Boss/Employee Exchange Day
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 12
International Day for South-South Cooperation
Ants On A Log Day
National Day of Encouragement
National Police Woman’s Day
Video Games Day
ON THIS DAY
1836: Sam Houston was elected president of the Republic of Texas.
1877: Oglala Sioux chief Crazy Horse was fatally bayoneted by a U.S. soldier after resisting confinement in a guardhouse at Fort Robinson, Neb. A year earlier, Crazy Horse had ridden with a group who defeated George Custer’s Seventh Cavalry at the Battle of Little Bighorn in Montana Territory.
1914: Babe Ruth hit his first professional home run for Providence in the International League. He also pitched a one-hit shut-out against Toronto.
1935: A new star emerged with release of the Hollywood western “Tumbling Tumbleweeds,” the first of 93 feature films starring Gene Autry. He also made 91 TV episodes and wrote hundreds of songs.
1939: The U.S. proclaimed its neutrality in World War II. It would later flip-flop.
1970: Christine McLaughlin was born at exactly 3:30 a.m. in New Bern, North Carolina. Her daughter, Patricia Ann, was born 21 years later, same date, same exact minute.
1987: After 30 years on television, Dick Clark’s American Bandstand was canceled. (audio clip)
1989: The world’s longest zipper was completed by the Yoshida company in Sneek, the Netherlands. It was 9,353 feet long and had 2,565,900 teeth.
1990: Linda Mae Walker of Pontiac, Michigan, finally won the custody battle in her divorce settlement and got legal custody of a 14-foot python. ***And you thought that YOUR children were clingy!
1990: Blues singer/guitarist B.B. King got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
1991: Actor John Travolta and actress Kelly Preston were married at midnight at the hotel De Crillon in Paris.
1992: Rocker John Mellencamp and model Elaine Irwin were married in a cabin near Seymour, Indiana, where John grew up.
1996: Research reported in The London Times showed 46% of dogs began watching up to an hour before their owners returned home each day, even when the owners worked irregular hours.
1997: Mother Teresa died of a heart attack in Calcutta, where she established her Missionaries of Charity order. She opened her first Calcutta slum school in 1949. She was 87.
1999: La-Z-Boy introduced its new Oasis recliner in Detroit. Designed for TV football fans, the tilt-back chair was equipped with a telephone, heat, a massager, and a cooler large enough to chill a six-pack. ***Hey, guess what I’m adding to my Christmas wish list!
2002: A Norwegian newspaper reporter sent to cover a car chase was shocked to find a hitch-hiker he picked up was the fugitive police were chasing. When the reporter stopped at a police road-block, the fugitive was arrested.
2003: Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, speaking in Iraq, said “impressions” of mounting Iraqi violence were being created by negative news media coverage.
TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY
actress (Paige Matthews on “Charmed”, Scream, Bio-Dome, Encino Man, Planet Terror) Rose McGowan 43 (audio clip)
actor (Batman, Beetlejuice, Mr. Mom, Multiplicity) Michael Keaton is 66
actress (One Million Years B.C., The Three Musketeers, Bandolero, Legally Blonde, Dianna Brock Rush on “Central Park West”) Raquel Welch 75
actor (Secretary of Defense James Heller on “24”, President Hayes on “Stargate SG-1”, Bernie Hobson on “Early Edition”) William Devane 80 (audio clip)
comedian/actor (“The Bob Newhart Show”, “Newhart”) Bob Newhart is 88 (audio clip)
(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)
1791 : Giacomo Meyerbeer
1912 : John Cage
1936 : Willie Woods (Junior Walker & The All Stars)
1941 : John Stewart (Kingston Trio)
1945 : Al Stewart
1946 : Dean Ford (Marmalade)
1946 : Buddy Miles (The Electric Flag, Band Of Gypsys)
1946 : Loudon Wainwright III
1949 : Dave Clempson (Humble Pie)
1966 : Terry Ellis (En Vogue)
1968 : Brad Wilk (Rage Against The Machine)
1969 : Dweezil Zappa
SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE (Answering questions that have plagued mankind for minutes!)
How much hydrogen does the Sun fuse every second?
Every second, the Sun fuses about 700 million tons of hydrogen into helium. In the process, about five million tons of mass are converted directly into energy, which slowly makes its way out to the surface where it is radiated into space. The conversion takes place near the innermost core of the Sun where the temperature is almost 16 million degrees Celsius (28.8 million degrees F). There, the same reaction that powers hydrogen bombs keeps the Sun inflated, preventing it from collapsing. Our Sun has been burning hydrogen for more than four billion years, and it will keep doing so for several more billions of years. As a “main sequence” star its output is steady and predictable, which is good for life on its third planet.
(None on weekends. Want a customizable version with your specific station tag, FREE? Email me for more information! )
NEW NEWS KICKERS…
(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)
The California State Senate has passed a bill that would make it a criminal offense to address a transgender person by the wrong pronoun. According to hotair.com, the bill now goes on to the State Assembly. If passed and signed by the governor, the bill could enforce criminal penalties, including jail time, against someone who refuses to address a transgender individual by their chosen gender pronoun. ***Meanwhile, that lunch lady I had back in elementary school is still out of luck because she’s not transgender – she just looked like a man because of her mustache.
50-percent of Americans have ditched their friends and made up a lie so that they could stay at home and watch TV. ***Well, you have to admit the television never judges your or excuses itself to go to the bathroom when the check for dinner arrives at the restaurant table.
Aston Martin says it will go completely hybrid with its cars by 2025. ***We’ll soon be getting exciting movie chase scenes with James Bond desperately searching for an electrical outlet.
For those of you who eat at your desk everyday, it comes as no surprise that the lunch hour has been shrinking in recent years. A recent survey shows 70% Americans either work straight through lunch or spend a mere five to ten minutes wolfing down their food. Six in ten of Americans consider the one-hour lunch to be the biggest myth in office life. ***Although I do try to bring the world into balance by taking a five-hour lunch each day. The only issue with that is making my meal last all the way through the Back To The Future trilogy.
The city of Los Angeles has officially replaced the Columbus Day holiday on their calendar with Indigenous People’s Day. ***Honestly, you can call it “Imaginary Friend Day” and I wouldn’t care so long as it means I get to sleep in.
Parents in Zimbabwe who cannot afford school fees can offer livestock such as goats or sheep as payment. The country’s education minister said that schools will have to show flexibility when it comes to demanding tuition fees from parents. ***That would never work here in America – our alternative means of payment would have to be stuff like Cheetos dust and leftover marshmallow peeps.
New stats show that Americans on average spent more on taxes in 2016 than they did on food and clothing combined. ***Well, it certainly felt like it.
A report says 85% of all clothes end up in landfills. ***And you’ve been wasting your money shopping at Goodwill.
Rachel Ray has donated $1 million to animals that were affected by Hurricane Harvey. ***Really? You couldn’t think about taking care of the PEOPLE first?
Crib, car seat, baby wipe warmer — there are so many things expectant parents need to buy. Here’s something else for the shopping list: a baby-naming consultant. You’ll find them mostly in Los Angeles, New York City, Chicago, Hong Kong and a number of other major cities. One Swiss branding company charges more than $29,000 to choose the perfect name for a soon-to-arrive child. ***Just imagine – for $30,000 your child could be the next Apple, or Scout, or Fifi, or Pilot, or Moon Unit!
An Australian pop star is getting lots of flack for thinking that twerking in a Holocaust museum and taking pictures was a good idea. ***See… and you thought all of the idiot celebrities lived in America.
An armed robbery suspect found out the hard way that holding up a mixed martial arts studio is not an easy target. Police said shortly after 9 p.m., a man walked into the Defiant MMA & Fitness studio in Burbank and pulled a gun on employees and customers. An instructor, lightweight MMA fighter Jacobe Powell, knocked the gun out of the suspect’s hand and pinned him down until police arrived to take him into custody. ***A gun is no match for Cobra Kai!
Frito-Lay, the makers of Doritos, Ruffles and Funyuns, are working on organic non-GMO chips to cash in on their increasing popularity. ***Are you really concerned about GMO’s if you’re chowing down on Funyuns?
James Sissom and Ashley Schmieder picked a unique location for their wedding earlier this year. The Northern California got married at the 17,500 foot basecamp on Mount Everest. It was a dream fulfilled for the adventurous couple, whose first date was an overnight hiking trip in Yosemite National Park. It took them 8 days of hiking just to reach the wedding location. ***I’ve said it before – a good marriage is hard work. In this case, it’s hard work even before the marriage!
Competing muggers tried to rob the same bus! A gunfight erupted on a Mexico City bus where competing muggers ran into each other as they robbed passengers. They killed each other. ***All muggings should end this way.
NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…
(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)
Researchers have discovered 97 regions of the brain that were previously unknown. ***”And here in the deepest, darkest part of the brain… this is where people think #BlackLivesMatter is making a positive difference…”
According to a study, about one in six cellphones in the United Kingdom has tested positive for traces of E. coli bacteria from fecal matter. ***Some people will use anything if their bathroom stall is out of toilet paper.
Teenagers depend on their cell phones for keeping up with friends and trends on social media. But should they be allowed to have them in school? A study from the London School of Economics for the first time provided hard evidence that banning phones in school boosts student achievement. The study found that, in schools that banned mobile phones, student scores on standardized tests went up 6.4 percent on average. ***I say we make phones illegal to anyone under the age of 18. Who’s with me?
Those who speak by packing their sentences with words such as “you know,” “I mean,” and “like” aren’t being ditzy — they’re being conscientious. So suggests a study (in the Journal of Language and Social Psychology) whose authors say that such “filler words” tend to be used by people who are more thoughtful than most. ***More thoughtful, perhaps… more annoying, definitely.
Have a long commute to work? That might be a problem for your love life! ScienceDaily found that long-distance commuters are more likely to break up than others. And not just by a little bit — the study found that long-distance commuters run a 40 percent higher risk of separating. ***Marriage advocates have come up with a new anti-commuting campaign with the slogan, “Give a hoot… don’t commute.”
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS
(Not updated on weekends and U.S. holidays.)
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TUESDAY’S EPISODE
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, Millard the Monkey was fixated on one and only one thing… to do whatever he could to beat Steve Mozart at something. He’s tried everything, and his latest project was so frustrating that he pounded the table, a vase fell and broke on his head, and now Millard is in the hospital!
CLOSE: Now that’s gotta hurt! Not the shot, that is – but the idea that even Steve Mozart gets more attention in the hospital! Maybe Millard should just give this whole idea up. It’s getting way too dangerous now. Hopefully he’ll learn his lesson in our next episode of As the Jungle Turns!
***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of “As the Jungle Turns” in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us and ask about “Jungle Jam & Friends the Radio Show” usage.
MOMENT OF DUH
A case of mistaken identity turns into a giant Moment of Duh!
Lupe Cuellar of Brownsvile, Texas and his wife were startled at 1:30 in the morning by a knocking at their door. The men at the door said they were cops, but Lupe wasn’t sure. He said he’d heard about some burglaries in the neighborhood. He told his wife to call police. She called 911. The wife said the 911 operator told her, “We got a call that your husband was beating you.” The officers tried to kick down the door, so the wife told her husband it was the police and he opened the door. Lupe says the police officer put him in a choke hold, dragged him to the kitchen, and threw him on the floor. Lupe’s wife and kids watched officers cuff him and haul him outside in nothing but his underwear. Turns out the cops were at the wrong house.
TOP TEN REASONS DOGS CAN’T USE COMPUTERS
10. He’s distracted by cats chasing his mouse.
9. SIT and STAY were hard enough; CUT and PASTE are out of the question.
8. Saliva-coated CDs refuse to work.
7. Three words: carpal paw syndrome.
6. Involuntary tail wagging is a dead give-away that he’s browsing purina.com instead of working.
5. The fire hydrant icon is simply too frustrating.
4. He can’t help attacking the screen when he hears “You’ve Got Mail.”
3. It’s too messy to “mark” every Web site he visits.
2. The FETCH command isn’t available on all platforms.
1. He can’t stick his head out of Windows 7.
THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER
A man tells the police that he has a pipe bomb… during the interview for him to get the job as a police officer!
FILE #1: Timothy Danes who is facing charges of illegal possession of explosives after authorities found him with a pipe bomb. And how did the cops make such a discovery? Turns out he was applying for a job with the Cumberland County Sheriff’s Department and he told the interviewer that he had a pipe bomb in his possession. And after a quick check the cops discovered he wasn’t lying. By the way, Timothy did not get the job.
FILE #2: Los Angeles County sheriff’s deputies arrested Steven Smiley in March and charged him as the one who, just acting on his “fascination with explosives”, released plastic trash bags filled with helium into the air, with burning flares and explosive powder attached, so that when the flare burned out, the bag would explode like a small bomb. Smiley apparently had no idea where the bags would land and, according to deputies, didn’t seem to care. One, however, landed on the roof of a sheriff’s substation three miles from Smiley’s home and exploded, no one was hurt.
FILE #3: A man notified a convenience store clerk in person that he would be back in a half-hour to rob him, then loitered outside the store for 30 minutes before returning and robbing him (Covington, Ky.). ***Hey, at least he was courteous about it and didn’t show up unannounced!
STRANGE LAW: In Chicago, it is illegal to take a French poodle to the opera.
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS
“This Is Your Brain On Drugs” is about people doing dumb things under the influence, but addiction is no laughing matter. If you or someone you know needs help, there’s a toll free number you can call 1-800-438-0380. That’s the Addiction Hope and Help Line at 1-800-438-0380.
Selling drugs illegally is dumb. Advertising that you do so is really stupid. And stocking store shelves with marijuana? That’s your brain on drugs!
Today’s “Brain on Drugs” story takes us to London, England, where the police kept coming across a business card whenever they busted people on marijuana possession charges. The card had an address, two telephone numbers, and a picture of a marijuana leaf and a smoking joint — plus with the words: “At your service day or night.” Finally deciding that the cards might not be a joke, they went to the address and found a video store. On the shelves, in addition to videos and DVDs, were bags of marijuana of various sizes and prices, marked with their countries of origin. The owner explained to the cops that, in addition to the in-store stock, he would also deliver the pot to his customers anywhere in the city at any time they wanted it. When they asked the owner if business was good, he told them he’d made about $250,000 in the last year. He’s facing 18 months in jail on drug dealing charges.
If you were a superhero, what would your super-powers be?
Fifty-four percent of parents say they give their kids an allowance. And the average amount is $65 a month. Most parents say their kids earn their allowance by doing chores — at least an hour a week. (How does this compare to what you’re giving or being given? Too much, too little?)
BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!
QUESTION: God answered this man twice “out of a whirlwind”, who was he?
ANSWER: Job (Job 38:1, Job 40:6)
QUESTION: If you could drive to the sun–at 55 miles per hour—how long would it take you to get there?
A) 93 years
B) 93 years
C) 993 years
ANSWER: 193 years
TRUE OR FALSE
Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!
1. The katydid bug hears through holes in its hind legs. (True)
2. Granny’s full name on The Beverly Hillbillies was Daisy Moses. (True)
3. Popeye’s friend Wimpy’s full name is J. Wellington Wimpy. (True)
4. Pound for pound, cockroaches make up half of all animal life. (False – earthworms)
5. Doublemint Gum was the first candy in America to be wrapped in tinfoil to keep them fresh. (False – Life Savers)
6. The original slogan for Life Savers was “For that stormy breath”. (True)
7. More than 75% of the world’s supply of maple syrup comes from the U.S. (False – Canada)
8. The first football player on a Wheaties box was Joe Namath. (False – Walter Payton)
9. In one year at New York’s Yankee Stadium more 2,000,000 individual packets of mustard are consumed. (True – plus an additional 1,600 gallons!)
10. The Jackalope is the state animal of Oklahoma. (False – the bison, or American Buffalo)
TABLOID MATCH GAME
You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!
AIRBAGS FOR SMART _________ (PHONES)
Amazon is making airbags for smartphones!
Amazon filed the patent last year, but it was just made public last week. They will be selling the airbags for smartphones.
For those with regular cellphones, Amazon will be selling “seatbelts” and “child safety seats” for those who still do not know how to use their cellphones.
Why did Amazon’s CEO feel the need to make airbags for smartphones?
Well, whether it was on the kitchen floor, in the backyard, in the toilet, in your mother-in-law’s chicken gumbo, or even in public – we’ve all dropped our cell phones at some point in our lives.
THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY
The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having.
“Goat,” the little boy replied.
“Goat?” replied the startled man of the cloth, “Are you sure about that?”
“Yep,” said the youngster. “I heard Dad say to Mom, ‘Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner.'”
Weary of constantly picking clothes up from the floor of her son’s room, a mother finally laid down the law: each item of clothing she had to pick up would cost her son 25 cents.
By the end of the week, he owed her $1.50. She received the money promptly, along with a 50 cent tip and a note that read, “Thanks, Mom — Keep up the good work!”
A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr.Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning.
His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before. “Is that so?” the first said. “Did he do a good job?”
“Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot,” he said. “The ball most have been going 200 mph when it hit me in the stomach. That,” he added, “was the first time in two years my teeth didn’t hurt.”
When christening a ship, instead of using champagne, the Vikings would sacrifice a human being. ***The custom started when some Vikings tried to break a bottle of champagne against the side of a vessel and the ship’s builder said, “Over my dead body.”
The use of secret codes in wartime is almost as old as recorded history. We know, for example, that Julius Caesar used them. ***Even private companies use them. How else can you explain why instructions are so complicated to put together a child’s bicycle?
With some misgivings, we left a young babysitter in charge of our three energetic youngsters.
When we returned a few hours later, she was sitting alone watching TV.
I went to check on the children and found them in our narrow hallway. By bracing their arms and legs against the walls, two of them had climbed up to the ceiling.
“The babysitter taught us how,” they said gleefully.
The sitter joined me, her face a deep red. “Since they had me climbing the walls, I figured they might as well be too,” she stammered.
We kept the same girl for the next two years.
IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!
Tay Teng Joo, a resident of Singapore, got married. The wedding reception with over 700 guests went on as planned, and the only thing that looked strange were Tay Ten Joo’s hands. Rope burns were around his wrists, showing he’d been through something traumatic before his wedding. Turns out he’d been kidnapped! Tay was taken from his home on the day before his wedding and kept on the move in two vehicles. The kidnappers originally demanded $2.3-million, but settled on $680,000 before releasing him, and he made it to his wedding on time. And a nice part of this story is that two men and one woman were charged with the kidnapping the day after the wedding. They face a maximum penalty of the gallows or life in jail. Kidnappings are rare in Singapore, but Singaporeans have been the target of kidnappers in the Philippines in recent months. Victims’ families have generally been quick to pay ransoms.
A young officer was blinded, apparently in one of the world wars. While convalescing, he was cared for by a nurse with whom he fell in love and later married. One day he overheard some people talking about him and his wife. The cruel conversation went like this, “Lucky for her he is blind. He probably would never have married such a homely woman if he had had eyes.”
Walking toward the voices, he said, “I happened to overhear what you said, and I thank God from the depths of my heart for the blindness that might have kept me from seeing the marvelous worth of the soul of this woman who is my wife. She had the most noble character I have ever known. If the conformation of her features is such that it might have masked her inward beauty, then I am the great gainer for having lost my sight.”
DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL
(modified from Campus Journal)
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. –Psalm 19:14
Some people enjoy confrontation. I don’t. It makes me feel uncomfortable and uneasy. But, you know what?
Sometimes it’s necessary.
For instance, a few months back a buddy of mine got out of line and started belittling the ideas of another friend. It was a group setting and the offended friend just kind of clammed up under the stream of words coming from the offender. Finally, I had heard enough. “Quiet!” I said with the uncharacteristic force of a landslide and the volume of a sonic boom (not to be confused with Sonic Flood).
At my “gentle” request, the offender stopped mid-flow in his word-barrage and looked at me. “Okay, now what,” I thought to myself. This was quickly followed by the mini-prayer, Lord, give me the words!
I looked my offending friend in the eye and told him that I felt his communication had been hurtful and inappropriate. (I actually used those words.) Though my emotions were fully functioning, I was able (by God’s grace) to keep my focus on my friend’s words and behavior and not attack him or his character (I think).
Unfortunately, I do not always do this well in my confronting. But I do know that Jesus wants us to speak the truth in love. We read these words from the apostle Peter–a man who definitely knew some strong words: “Love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. . . . If anyone speaks, he should do it
as one speaking the very words of God” (1 Peter 4:8,11). Those are some clear, convicting directives for times when we enter the valley of confrontation.
We need to confront. We need to love. We need to confront in love. Remember, when you speak you represent Jesus. Let His words fill your heart so that what comes out of your mouth is less sonic and more tonic.
SEND IN THE CLOWNS
Need a rescue? Send in the clowns! One elderly woman’s life was saved by the funny guys with big shoes!
There’s an elderly woman in Florida who owes her life to… clowns! The woman is now safe after being trapped in an elevator for two days in temperatures of over 100 degrees! Thankfully, some clowns performing at a nearby magic shop heard her cries for help. The clowns then called the Winter Haven Fire Department who rushed to the scene to find the elevator stuck between two floors and the building’s air conditioning system off. They rescued the woman who was later treated for exhaustion and released from the hospital. ***MARLAR: While safe, she said she did feel claustrophobic in the tiny little clown ambulance.
LIFE… LIVE IT
YET ANOTHER REASON TO QUIT SMOKING!
Phillip Morris, the makers of cigarettes, wants you to think that cigarettes are beneficial – and they have a really morbid, twisted, and evil argument to back up that opinion!
Here in the United States, cigarettes are evil and have been all but banned. You can’t smoke hardly anywhere anymore, right? So what’s a company like Phillip Morris to do? Easy… they go to other countries to try and promote cigarettes. Recently they were in the Czech Republic. However, the Czech government doesn’t like the idea of having cigarettes in their country (seems they heard about cigarettes killing people too) so they’ve introduced plans to tax cigarettes and ban cigarette advertising. Now here’s where it becomes downright evil. In order to convince the Czech Republic to look favorably on smoking, Phillip Morris has commissioned a study to show there might be an advantage to having hundreds of thousands of people smoking. The advantage? That the government can save from $24-$26 million dollars per year on health care and pension costs due to lives being cut short from smoking. Did you catch that? Phillip Morris, the makers of the cigarettes, says that the cigarettes kill people and that it’s a good thing because you won’t be burdened with the expenses of caring for senior citizens because they’ll die before those services are needed… all thanks to cigarette smoking! Nice to know that companies like Phillip Morris are looking out for the best interests of the world, isn’t it?
JUST FOR FUN
WE’RE NOT HIRING YOU
Rejection of any kind is tough, but it’s especially hard when you’re looking for a new job. It’s possible that you are unwittingly doing something wrong in your job search. If so, you are not alone. CareerBuilder.com surveyed a representative sample of 3,244 full-time workers in the private sector across industries and company sizes to find out the simple mistakes people make that could be holding them back from landing a new employment opportunity. The top five mistakes job-hunters typically make:
1. 54 percent of job seekers don’t customize their resume.
Employers can easily and quickly spot an all-purpose resume. Tailor your resume to match the job description by inserting key words used in the job posting that match your experience. Not only will this catch the eye of the hiring manager, but also it can move your resume to the top of the pile if an automated tracking system is scanning resumes for potential candidates.
2. 84 percent of job seekers don’t find out the hiring manager’s name.
Applying directly to the hiring manager increases your chances of getting noticed and shows you’ve gone that extra step and invested time in getting to know the company.
3. 45 percent of job seekers don’t include a cover letter.
Cover letters allow candidates the opportunity to sell themselves beyond the typical listing of work experience and skills in a resume. Use a cover letter to introduce yourself and showcase your credentials in a relatable way.
4. 37 percent of job seekers don’t follow up after they have applied.
Recruiters can sometimes be overwhelmed by candidate applications for certain open jobs. Circling back with a recruiter or hiring manager after submitting a cover letter and resume can help job seekers stand out among the competition.
5. 57 percent of job seekers don’t send thank-you notes after an interview.
Writing a thank-you note is not only the polite thing to do, but also allows you to reiterate why you’re the best fit for the job. Most recruiters and hiring managers expect a thank-you note in some form or another (email or handwritten), so neglecting this action will make you stick out–and not in a good way. Thank-you notes should be sent after phone screening calls, as well.
YOU KNOW YOU’RE LIVING IN 2017 WHEN:
You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
You e-mail or text or message the person who works at the desk next to you.
Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have a Twitter account.
You’ve sat at the same desk for four years yet have worked for three different companies.
Your boss doesn’t have the ability to do your job.
Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…
HOUSEHOLD ITEMS THAT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE
The most common gadgets in your home can be lifesavers in case of an emergency. Here, from the Red Cross and the Daily Mail newspaper, are seven things you’ll need when a crisis strikes:
Paper Bag — Inhaling and exhaling 10 times while holding it over your nose and mouth can stop a panic attack.
Juice Glass — To easily remove an insect from someone’s ear, pour a glass full of warm water into it. The bug should float to the surface.
Milk — If you knock out a tooth, put it in a container of milk until you can get to your dentist. The milk is a neutral solution that will keep the tooth from drying out, increasing the odds that it can be reinserted.
Yellow Pages and a Mop — Touching someone who’s been electrocuted can give you a severe shock. To insulate yourself, stand on a phone book, then move the electrical wire away from the victim with a wooden mop handle.
Bed sheet — An adult suffering from heatstroke should be wrapped in a sheet soaked in cold water.
Pantyhose — To support a broken collarbone, wrap a pair of pantyhose around the person’s neck. Tie loosely in a figure 8 at chest level and place the person’s hand in the bottom loop.
Credit Card — When a bee or wasp stings you, gently use a credit card to scrape the stinger out of the wound, then put ice on the area to reduce swelling.
OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP
(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)
When you smell something noxious, it turns your stomach so you don’t want to eat. But since inhaling putrid stenches is not anyone’s idea of a fun diet, could mouthwatering aromas also help moderate food intake? Dutch researchers say yes, reports the Dole Nutrition Institute. The study: In a small, but scientifically precise, study, six men and four women with an average age of 36 were told to eat as much vanilla custard as they wanted. Each was randomly exposed to one of the following: a strong aroma of vanilla cream, a weak aroma of vanilla cream or no aroma at all. Those who inhaled the strong aroma of vanilla cream consumed 5 percent less custard, compared to those who were exposed to a weak or no aroma. Eating 5 percent less may not seem like much, but when it’s applied regularly to a 2,000-calorie-a-day diet, it translates into 100 saved calories a day. Add that up over a year, and it’s an impressive 36,500 saved calories. And that means 10 pounds lost –or at least, not gained — over 12 months.
You don’t need to be born with a silver spoon in your mouth to one day become a millionaire. Instead, you need to have three qualities in life: ambition, hard work and family upbringing. U.S. Trust, Bank of America’s private wealth management firm, polled 684 Americans who have $3 million or more in “investible assets.” Each answered hundreds of questions, and the results are surprising. About 77 percent said they were born into middle class or poor families, and worked their way up. They earned their money, rather than inheriting it. How did they become millionaires? Overwhelmingly, they credit hard work, ambition and family upbringing, insisting these three factors were far more important to their financial success than connections or innate talent. 80 percent of the respondents said their parents were firm disciplinarians, who emphasized academic achievement, financial discipline and work participation but also encouraged them to pursue their own talents and interests. Three-quarters of respondents said they had parents who were present in their lives both physically and emotionally. “The points seem to be so traditional in nature,” said Chris Heilmann, the chief fiduciary executive at U.S. Trust, explained to CNN/Money. “It’s about deeply held family values rather than an inheritance or existing wealth.”
Dawnetta Heinz was packing boxes, bound for a new home, when she came across her wedding dress. Just one year prior, the 22-year-old married now husband Jared Heinz, 25, in a ceremony she will never forget. Rather than keeping the dress, she took a decidedly different route and gave her dress to a complete stranger — 12 strangers, to be precise. Dawnetta wrote a post in the Omaha, Nebraska’s buy, sell or trade group on Facebook “I would like to give my dress away to someone who is on a tight budget and is in need of a dress.” She says “So many other women were saying they wanted the dress,” Dawnetta told TODAY. “So I had the idea, ‘What if we just passed the dress along to the next bride, so long as it’s still in good shape?’” The women agreed, and now plan to share the dress with as many brides as possible. As of now, about 12 local women are slated to wear the dress. http://on.today.com/2vJR59Z
In the wake of the disaster in Texas, two Houston hairstylists have found a way to give back. Cedric Graham and Katie Richmond are providing free haircuts to evacuees taking shelter at the Houston Convention Center after Hurricane Harvey’s floodwaters forced them from their homes. The pair says they are doing it to help the victims feel good about themselves after losing everything. http://whdh.com/news/texas-couple-gives-free-haircuts-to-hurricane-harvey-evacuees/
There are a lot of ways to help the people of eastern Texas as they suffer through the devastating aftermath of Hurricane Harvey. But perhaps the easiest way to help is to donate $10 to the Red Cross by texting the word REDCROSS to 90999. The $10 donation will be charged to your mobile phone bill. Even better, if you can afford it, you can follow the lead of people who are challenging their Twitter followers to donate and then promising to match those donations. Read more at http://www.businessinsider.com/hurricane-harvey-donate-red-cross-twitter-challenge-2017-8
(Only posted as stories come available. Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)
Being trapped by the rising flood waters didn’t keep a few bakers from doing something unselfish for others!
By the time these Mexican bakers were ready to go home, the floodwaters were already too high. Instead of worrying about the fate of their city, however, they decided to put their talents to good use and bake hundreds of loaves of bread for their fellow hurricane victims. The four bakers of El Bolillo Bakery in Houston, Texas had been working a late shift when the water levels on the street became too dangerous. The bakery, which specializes in Mexican pastries and sweet treats, was able to stay relatively dry throughout the storm. Additionally, the facilities still had electricity. So, the cooks got to work making pan dulce – a kind of Mexican sweet bread – all through the day and night. By the time they were rescued, the bakers had already used over 4,000 pounds of flour.
The cooks then spent the next couple days distributing the bread to emergency shelters around the city.
The gesture is even sweeter than the bread they were handing out.
(Only posted as stories come available. Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)
AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT
I’ve done great in radio for one simple reason — I don’t have to spell.
THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER
Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 35 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).
SEPTEMBER 01, 2017…
Close Encounters Of The Third Kind (1977)—Ok, raise your hand. How many readers have this film of space alien encounters as one of their favorite, favorite films. Not to mention the killer soundtrack by John Williams. This year is the 40th anniversary of the release of “Close Encounters” so you can see it again on the large screen. Richard Dreyfuss has gone on to other films and screen characters, but he will be remembered for the repairman, Roy, who has an encounter on a country road (remember those lights from behind?), his mashed potato episode and what the word “Mayflower” means. The words of the title come from a classification, developed by J. Allen Hynek, if you should meet a space alien. Third Kind” means humans actually see the space aliens. Some people may stand and stare, some may run for the hills. Either way, you will have seen “something unusual.” The term “mothership” has also gained credence. The cast included Melinda Dillon, Teri Garr, Bob Balaban, Cary Guffey and Francois Truffaut (yes, he did act here.) “Close Encounters Of The Third Kind” is rated PG 13. Enjoy…and a rating of 4.
Goon: Last Of The Enforcers—Hockey fans out there, here, again, is Seann William Scott in the role of Doug “The Thug” in the 2011 film, “Goon.” A term used for hockey enforcers, “goon,” is really a bully on ice. Scott reprises the same role in “Goon: Last Of The Enforcers.” These films are called sports comedies, but be aware of sports violence as they use nefarious techniques to “get” their opponents and to spice up the game for fans. You see the same in wrestling (beware of what is under the ring). In “Goon,” Doug decided to temporarily retire from the game after many penalties. He actually is a nice person, but sometimes slow to catch on to situations. In the 2017 film, Doug is called out of retirement to help his team with a notorious enforcer from another team. Both scripts were co-written by Jay Baruchel, who directed the first film and acts in the second one. The action shots are good and Seann William Scott is a credible action star. Also in the cast are Alison Pill, Liev Schreiber (as Ross “The Boss”, the other “enforcer“), Marc-Andre Grondin, Kim Coates and Eugene Levy. “Goon: Last Of The Enforcers” is rated R. Rating of 3 for fans.
Viceroy’s House (opening in select cities)—This film is a colorful story about India trying to gain independence after WWII. The word “colonialism” has meaning here. Gillian Anderson (“X-Files”) and Hugh Bonneville (“Downton Abbey”) are the stars. Curinder Chadha is the director. “Viceroy’s House” is rated PG 13. No rating.
I Do…Until I Don’t—This is a film about marriage vows. What if…part of the marriage vow was omitted? The line about “…till death do us part…” Hmm. Three couples, one of which is Lake Bell and Ed Helms, are trying to figure this one out.”I Do…Until I Don’t…” is rated PG 13. No rating.
SEPTEMBER 08, 2017…
Home Again stars Reese Witherspoon as a divorcee who goes back home to live with family and finds romance again.
IT is adapted from the Stephen King thriller about a killer clown in a small Maine village. Stars Bill Skarsgard.
Rebel In The Rye is a biopic about the author J. D. Salinger (Nicholas Hoult) and creativity in writing.
9/11 is adapted from a play and concerns people trapped in an elevator during the 9/11 attack. Stars Charlie Sheen.
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Darren Marlar credits all non-original material to the author whenever possible. All other material is original, used with permission, or author unknown. We welcome all comments, questions, and suggestions. Darren can be reached via his website at www.DarrenMarlar.com.