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PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION: 20150925
WELCOME TO THE SHOW!
I have a great show prepared for you today. In fact, it’s such a terrific show — I think I’ve changed my mind. Instead of giving it to you today, I’m going to save it until I know for sure the boss is listening.
BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY
The Lord says, “Even to your old age and gray hairs, I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. –Isaiah 46:4
A wicked man puts up a bold front, but an upright man gives thought to his ways. — Proverbs 21:29
HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT
Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. — Hebrews 10:35-36
Thought: There are some tough times that go with living. They’re inescapable. That’s when our confidence in the Lord’s salvation and our relationship with him get tested! It is one thing to sing “it is well with my soul” at the end of a peel the paint worship service, but it is quite another to be able to sing it when they auction your house off at the courthouse steps, you are told you have a long-term debilitating illness, or you lose a child to death. Faith can’t take a holiday when we travel through the suburbs of hell or we’ll never find our way out. So don’t throw it away. Persevere! Keep putting one step in front of the other trusting that God will give you the strength for the next step. No matter how hard it is at the moment, don’t give up to despair. Be like Job or Jeremiah who both argued and complained to God, but never let go of God. Don’t quit. Christ is coming, for you with grace or in glory once and for all, is just around the bend.
“BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY
The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!
1 Corinthians 9:25 NIV = Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.
TODAY IS FRIDAY – SEPTEMBER 25, 2015
(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 91 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.
Today is BABA WAWA DAY, marking the birth of TV’s Barbara Walters. She got the “Baba Wawa” nickname from comic Gilda Radner’s classic character on “Saturday Night Live.”
Today is NATIONAL ONE-HIT WONDERS DAY, honoring all those rock singers and groups that had just one hit record. ***MARLAR: Also good for DJ’s who’ve only told one good joke in their career.
Today is NATIONAL COMIC BOOK DAY. ***MARLAR: It’s the Adventures of Radio Man – battling enemies like the evil Dead Air, and Splice!
TODAY IS ALSO. . .
Math Story Telling Day
National One-Hit Wonder Day
Vegan Baking Day
Hug a Vegetarian Day
Love Note Day
COMING UP NEXT
(Note: Just because holiday is listed here it does not mean we are endorsing it.)
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 26
Johnny Appleseed Day
Shamu The Whale Day
Family Health and Fitness Day USA
Fish Amnesty Day
National Hunting and Fishing Day
National Public Lands Day
R.E.A.D. In America Day
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 27
Ancestor Appreciation Day
Gold Star Mother’s Day
World Tourism Day
MONDAY SEPTEMBER 28
Family Day – Be Involved, Stay Involved
Fish Tank Floorshow Night
National Good Neighbor Day
World Rabies Day
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 29
National Biscotti Day
National Attend Your Grandchild’s Birth Day
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 30
National Women’s Health & Fitness Day
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 01
CD Player Day
Fire Pup Day
International Day of Older Persons
Model T Day
National Book It! Day
World Vegetarian Day
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 02
Guardian Angels Day
International Day of Non-Violence
National Custodial Workers Day
Phileas Fogg’s Wager Day
World Farm Animals Day
Lee’s National Denim Day
National Diversity Day
ON THIS DAY
1493: Christopher Columbus left Spain with 17 ships on his second voyage to the New World.
1933: “The Tom Mix Ralston Straightshooters” debuted on NBC Radio, at first three times a week, then five. During the ‘30s and ‘40s, it was the #1 late afternoon program. Mix, a film star and former Texas Ranger, never appeared on the radio show.
1946: The Brooklyn Dodgers beat the Chicago Cubs 2-0 when the game had to be called after 5 innings because of gnats, swarms of gnats in Ebbets Field, so many gnats fans couldn’t see the field and players couldn’t play.
1954: In his only appearance at the Grand Ole Opry, Elvis sang “Blue Moon of Kentucky.” Talent coordinator John Denny told him to go back to truck driving. ***MARLAR: Less shaking there, I guess.
1956: Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis broke up as a comedy team. They had begun performing together on the same day in 1946.
1965: At age 34, Willie Mays became the oldest major league player to hit 50 home runs in a season. Ten years earlier, he had been the youngest player to accomplish the same feat.
1975: Billy Petty sold his prize turkey at a Pasadena, Texas, rodeo for $1,600, the highest price ever paid for a turkey.
1978: Sports Illustrated’s Melissa Ludtke filed suit to gain access for women reporters to major-league baseball locker rooms after games. She won. ***MARLAR: The players in the locker room lost… their dignity.
1979: The musical “Evita” opened on Broadway.
1981: Sandra Day O’Connor became the first woman on the U.S. Supreme Court, the 102nd justice to take the oath.
1984: Deepak Lele arrived in New York City to become the first person to cross the United States on a unicycle. He pedaled 3,963 miles from Los Angeles in three months and 19 days.
1990: Macon, Georgia, honored hometown boy Richard Penniman by naming a new street Little Richard Boulevard.
1995: Circuit Judge Joseph Wilson in Columbia, South Carolina, refused to allow attorney Heather Smith to enter a plea for her client because the female lawyer was wearing pants. The hearing was postponed.
1995: Ross Perot announced formation of the Independence Party.
1996: Turner Ranches announced that CNN’s Ted Turner had purchased a 578-thousand-acre ranch in New Mexico, increasing Turner’s total New Mexico holdings to 1,796 square miles. That’s roughly 1.5% of the state.
2003: The U.S. House gave the Federal Trade Commission explicit authority to create a national “do not call” directory.
TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY
1534: Pope Clement VII dies. An unpopular pope, Clement failed to halt Luther’s reformation or to implement his own reforms in the Catholic church. Henry VIII asked Clement VII to annul his marriage with Catherine of Aragon. The pope’s reluctance led to Henry VIII’s break from Catholicism.
1555: The Peace ofAugsburg is signed after the defeat of Emperor Charles V’s forces by Protestant princes in Germany (1552). The official recognition of the Lutheran church in Germany, the agreement signified the dissolution of both political unity in Germany and the medieval unity of Christendom.
1789: Congress amends The U.S. Constitution to prohibit establishment of a state church or governmental interference with the free exercise of religion.
1872: Peter Cartwright, an indefatigable Methodist circuit rider, dies at age 97. Though he was characterized as rough, uneducated, and eccentric, his drive and physical stamina enabled him to preach throughout midwestern frontiers for 70 years.
HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS
- actress (Zorro, Entrapment) Catherine Zeta-Jones 46
- actor-rapper (“Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”, Men in Black, Independence Day, I-Robot) Will Smith 47 (
- actress (“Melrose Place”, “Spin City”) Heather Locklear 54 (
- actor (Luke Skywalker from the original three Star Wars movies, voice of the Joker in the “Batman” animated series) Mark Hamill 63
- actor (married to Catherine Zeta-Jones, son to Kirk Douglas, Falling Down, Jewel of the Nile) Michael Douglas 71
- journalist (“The View”) Barbara Walters 84
(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)
1683 : Jean-Philippe Rameau
1932 : Glenn Gould
1933 : Eric Darling (The Weavers, The Tarries, The Rooftop Singers)
1936 : Roosevelt “Booba” Barnes
1943 : Gary Jules Alexander (The Association)
1945 : Onnie McIntyre (Average White Band)
1950 : Zucchero
1968 : Will Smith
1985 : Diana Ortiz (Dream)
SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE
Who invented the refrigerator, and when did it first become available to consumers?
Scottish scientist William Cullen, in 1748, discovered that the liquid ethyl ether, allowed to evaporate in a partial vacuum, cooled its surroundings. Americans in the early 19th century substituted the rapid expansion of a gas for the evaporation of a liquid as the coolant. With the widespread availability of electricity at the beginning of the 20th century, the time was ripe for the debut of the household appliance that we know. It arrived in 1913. Now grab me a cold Pepsi, will ya? (Source: PANATI’S BROWSER’S BOOK OF BEGINNINGS by Charles Panati)
CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS
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Selah’s Todd Smith was taking his life into his own hands this week. He tweeted: Even in the Columbus, Ohio airport wear it proudly! Attached was a picture of his Michigan Wolverines t-shirt.
Jamie Grace has a unique way of dealing with lame pickup lines. She shared this week: when dudes have lame pickup lines I don’t run, I start talking about how much I love being in ministry. So sad how quickly THEY run.
Kutless member James Mead is a self described 2015 hippy. He tweeted: I wear Birkenstocks and mix my own beard oils.
Christian comedian Chonda Pierce is out with the official trailer for her movie debut titled Laughing in the dark. Chonda says the movie is as real as it gets, giving an honest look at her life. It will be in theaters for one night, on October 27. https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10153066684181316
Jonny Diaz had some good news and some not so good news this week. He tweeted: Great news – I have a praying mom. Not so great news – She’s apparently discovered emojis.
Natalie Grant says her Tuesday involved both bleach and green juice. She shared: One natural. One not. Both necessary. The bleach was for her hair while she drank the green juice.
Just how good is Blanca’s music? One fan tweeted: Blanca is making Calculus 3 almost bearable.
Mercyme’s Bart Millard says diabetes sucks. He shared: My 13 yr old was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at age 2. In other words, he’s had roughly 20,000 shots in his life so far.
Hawk Nelson member Daniel Biro was able to pass the bands latest CD onto a world leader this week. Daniel shared that he handed the band’s album Diamonds to the Canadian Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, and he accepted it.
WEIRD & WACKY
|Iranian in UK tries to get sent home but is in UK legally
LONDON (AP) — Tens of thousands of people fleeing warfare and poverty are trying to enter Europe but at least one Iranian man who has made his home in Britain seems desperate to leave. Manchester Police say Arash Aria turned himself in Monday, claiming to be in Britain illegally, but after…
|Man feared dead on eastern Pennsylvania highway was napping
WIND GAP, Pa. (AP) — State police say a man feared dead along an eastern Pennsylvania highway was just napping. HASH(0x1416dd0) But troopers who responded say they found the man was homeless and merely sleeping. They woke him up and he left the area without incident. Police say the man was…
|Prisoner uses bed sheets in escape, falls when knot slips
LOUISVILLE, Ky. (AP) — Two inmates at a Louisville, Kentucky, jail could have used a course in knot-tying when authorities say they plotted an escape using bed sheets. Officials say the men escaped to the roof of a minimum-security building Monday night and used a rope made of bed sheets to…
|Pennsylvania reporter working story finds missing boys
STATE COLLEGE, Pa. (AP) — A newspaper reporter found two missing boys — who it turns out were just skipping school — after he was sent to cover their disappearance in central Pennsylvania. Centre Daily Times reporter Shawn Annarelli says the brothers, age 7 and 9, were supposed to…
|Bear hit with tranquilizer dart runs into pond, drowns
DAYTON, Nev. (AP) — Efforts to corral a black bear at a Nevada golf course came to a grim end when wildlife officials tranquilized the animal and it ran into a pond and drowned. Nevada Department of Wildlife spokesman Chris Healy says the 300-pound male bear was wandering Monday evening…
|PETA sues to give monkey the copyright of selfie photos photo
A macaque monkey who took now-famous selfie photographs should be declared the copyright owner of the photos, rather than the nature photographer who positioned the camera, animal-rights activists contend in a novel lawsuit filed Tuesday. The suit was filed in federal court in San Francisco by…
|Sheriff: Lawyers can keep bras on while entering Maine jail
PORTLAND, Maine (AP) — Jail workers went too far in telling female lawyers they’d have to remove their underwire bras if they wanted to meet with clients, a sheriff said. At least two attorneys say they were told they’d have to remove their bras when entering the Cumberland County Jail…
|Man who says ‘evil twin’ robbed stores gets over 60 years
ALLENTOWN, Pa. (AP) — A man who claimed at trial that his “evil twin” robbed 10 gas stations, convenience and beer stores in eastern Pennsylvania must spend at least 60 years in prison. HASH(0x140cec0) A jury last month convicted Felton in the 10 robberies in the Lehigh Valley, all of which…
|$1 million lottery ticket found among woman’s old mail
KENTWOOD, Mich. (AP) — A Michigan woman who won a $1 million lottery prize didn’t know about it for months, after leaving the ticket in a pile of mail. Lottery officials say Linda Tuttle of Kentwood stepped forward Tuesday with a winning ticket from the May 26 Mega Millions drawing. Tuttle…
|Cops: Chocolate factory worker makes bomb threat to be fired
ST. ALBANS, Vt. (AP) — Police say a Vermont chocolate factory worker hated his job and wanted to get fired, so he did the first thing that came to mind: He called in a bomb threat. Police say 22-year-old Kristofer Pregent stole a co-worker’s cellphone and made the false threat under a…
|Father, son use net to capture exotic bird in New Hampshire
BOW, N.H. (AP) — An emu that had been loose and wandering around New Hampshire for more than a week has been caught. Maria Colby, a bird specialist who operates Wings of the Dawn Wildlife Sanctuary in Henniker, says a father and son captured the large, flightless bird in Bow Sunday afternoon….
HEALTH & FITNESS
|Clinton aims to tackle out-of-pocket health care costs photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — Hillary Rodham Clinton proposed a series of steps on Wednesday to lessen the burden of out-of-pocket medical bills for Americans covered by President Barack Obama’s health care law. The Democratic presidential candidate said she would require plans to provide three sick…
|Company says will cut price of drug after accused gouging
SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — The company that sparked an angry backlash after it raised the price of a drug for treating a deadly parasitic infection by more than 5,000 percent says it will roll back some of the increase. Turing Pharmaceuticals CEO Martin Shkreli told ABC News on Tuesday that the new…
|UN Ebola response now planned to continue into 2016
DAKAR, Senegal (AP) — The United Nations is now planning for its Ebola response to last into mid-2016, suggesting the battle against the virus that has killed more than 11,000 people won’t be over by year-end, according to a report Wednesday. The news comes as health officials struggle to…
|Spain court backs ruling for German firm in thalidomide case
MADRID (AP) — Spain’s Supreme Court has upheld a lower court ruling that a German pharmaceutical company does not have to pay compensation to 22 Spaniards who blame their disabilities on the drug thalidomide. The court said Wednesday that it upheld a Madrid provincial tribunal’s acceptance…
|Kansas doctor, wife face new sentencing in overdose deaths photo
WICHITA, Kan. (AP) — The Kansas physician and his wife were convicted of a shocking crime: running a moneymaking conspiracy at a clinic that prosecutors have linked to 68 drug overdose deaths. Yet Dr. Stephen Schneider and his wife, Linda, contend they also helped people with chronic pain at…
|Thickening haze dampens swing of Singapore festivities photo
SINGAPORE (AP) — A thickening, smoky haze cast a shadow over festivities in Singapore on Thursday, as Muslims headed to mosques to celebrate the culmination of the annual hajj pilgrimage and Chinese readied for a traditional harvest festival. As many Singaporeans stayed at home for the public…
|Study: Diagnosis wrong too often, urgent improvement needed photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — Most people will experience at least one wrong or delayed diagnosis at some point in their lives, a blind spot in modern medicine that can have devastating consequences, says a new report that calls for urgent changes across health care. Getting the right diagnosis, at the…
|Some tips for patients to reduce odds of being misdiagnosed
The Institute of Medicine says patient input is critical as health providers try to figure out the right diagnosis. Here are tips from the IOM’s report Tuesday, adapted from the National Patient Safety Foundation and the Society to Improve Diagnosis in Medicine: —Don’t hesitate to ask…
|Txt msgs may lead to broad heart-linked benefits, study says
CHICAGO (AP) — Txt msgs may b gud 4U. That’s the message in a study that suggests just four monthly text messages might spur health improvements for heart patients. The simple, heart-related advice led to substantial changes in blood pressure, cholesterol and physical activity levels,…
|State obesity rates hold steady; 30 pct or more in 22 states
NEW YORK (AP) — New government data shows that in most states, the rate of adult obesity is not moving. Results from a telephone survey show obesity rates stayed about the same in 45 states last year. There were small increases in Kansas, Minnesota, New Mexico, Ohio and Utah. Some experts…
|FDA experts to review safety of Essure birth control implant photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — Federal medical experts will take a closer look at a host of problems reported with the birth control implant called Essure, including chronic pain, bleeding, headaches and allergic reactions. The Food and Drug Administration on Monday posted a 90-page review of Essure…
(None on the weekends)
NEW NEWS KICKERS…
Someone called the cops on Jerry Seinfeld and his family for setting up a roadside lemonade stand for charity in East Hampton, New York. ***His family is currently on the lookout for Newman.
A security review is underway after a confused elderly motorist drove her vehicle onto the runway at the airport in Brandon, Manitoba, Canada. There was no incoming or outbound air traffic at the time. ***At that age, she may have been looking for a direct flight to Heaven.
A Florida man broke into a high school recently in an attempt to find a phone on which to call his grandmother. Aaron Richardson was charged after officials at Treasure Coast High School reported that someone had broken into a concession stand and broken a computer. ***Because when you’re desperate to make a phone call, you immediately think of looking for a concession stand and a computer instead of someone with a cell phone.
American children are getting fatter at an alarming rate. The percentage of overweight black and Hispanic youngsters has more than doubled over the last decade and a half while the percentage of overweight white youths has climbed by fifty percent. ***Although today’s kids have been found to have thumb muscles twice as strong as in generations past.
Just minutes after the Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker dropped out of the Republican Presidential race, the billionaire Koch brothers demanded that he return the nine hundred million dollars they had allocated to his campaign. *** You know something is wrong with our election process when you can be given 900 million dollars and still have to drop out of the race because you’ve run out of money.
NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…
A study led by Dr. Chenchen Wang at Tufts University School of Medicine in Boston involved 66 fibromyalgia patients assigned to try either tai chi or wellness education and stretching exercises twice a week for 12 weeks. It turns out that tai chi eased painful joints and other symptoms of fibromyalgia in a small but well-done study of this ancient Chinese form of exercise. According to practitioners of tai chi (ty-CHEE’), it can improve muscle strength, balance, sleep, coordination and, some evidence suggests, fibromyalgia. ***MARLAR: Oh, wait… I’m sorry. This story is about tai chi. I’m sorry, I thought they were talking about chai tea… which I personally find very tasty.
According to the numbers, one of five U.S. households are now on food stamps. ***MARLAR: Even worse, you also have no choice in what flavor of food stamps you get.
According to a study by the John S. and James L. Knight Foundation, more than a third of US high school students think the First Amendment goes “too far” in granting free speech rights, and only half think newspapers should be allowed to publish stories without government approval. Only 83 percent think people should be allowed to express unpopular views. A Foundation spokesman called the trend disturbing and dangerous. ***MARLAR: Free speech goes too far? Fine – I guess we can tell these kids to shut up then, can’t we?
Studies show that fuel economy has become the number one concern among American car buyers – but motorists have also been pressing for higher speed limits, which can sharply reduce the mileage a car gets. While that might seem common sense, a new study clearly quantifies the impact of putting the pedal to the metal. And it finds that there are surprisingly few differences between vehicles, whether brick-like SUVs or sleek, wind-cheating sports cars. “People really like rules of thumb, and if you’re increasing your speed from 50 to 60 miles an hour, we find for the largest number of vehicles fuel economy will go down about 12 percent,” said Brian H. West, a researcher at the Oak Ridge National Laboratory, in Knoxville, Tenn., where the study was conducted. Pushing a little faster, you’ll see mileage drop about 14 percent going from 60 to 70 mph, while fuel economy will dip yet another 16 percent if you nudge the speedometer up to 80. ***MARLAR: Of course, this also works in reverse, meaning you get better gas mileage if you slow down to 55 – and if you don’t move your car at all and turn the engine off, you may not have to refill your tank ever again.
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Daylight Savings”
DAILY COMEDY CLIP
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Robert G. Lee, “Ceremonies”
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD FRIDAY’S EPISODE
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, Marvy Snuffleson’s little sister Katie was pretty unfeeling towards Marvy and his having a cold. In fact, she showed no compassion at all. And just about that time, the snow outside began melting really fast – and it flooded the backyard, then into the house, and now she’s been swept onto the high seas!
CLOSE: Sounds like Candyland is going to be a really fun – and tasty place to visit! But what does all of this have to do with compassion? We’ll find out next time as our story continues, on As the Jungle Turns!
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF SEPTEMBER 26/27, 2015
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, in order to find the ultimate picnic spot for the ultimate picnic, all of the jungle animals went out together to look. Picnic spot after picnic spot have been found – each one even nicer than the next, but it seems that no matter what they find, Gruffy Bear is just never satisfied with it!
CLOSE: Well it’s about time… I would’ve rebelled three picnic spots ago! But what’s going to happen to Gruffy? And what’s going to happen to the perfect picnic? Find out next time – As the Jungle Turns!
***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of As the Jungle Turns in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us.
MOMENT OF DUH
I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a… hey, who stole my tree?
Botanists in West Sussex, England were given the task of protecting one of Britain’s rarest trees, a southern beech (Nothofagus gunnil). They are today’s Moment of Duh because … someone stole it. The tree was being monitored to see the interaction between its root and the soil and will probably die because of damage caused to the roots and lack of the care needed to make it grow. If caught, the thieves will be charged with, among other things, leaving the scene of a crime. ***MARLAR: So… it took a bunch of university trained botanists to come up with the concept of saving an endangered tree by watching it grow, and telling us that if someone digs it up and doesn’t take water it, it will die.
TOP 10 AMUSING SIGNS
10. Sign on an airport runway: All baggage carts must yield to oncoming planes.
9. Sign at the Pavlov Institute: Knock: Please don’t ring bell.
8. Sign in a 1 hour eyeglass store: 20/20 in 60 Minutes.
7. Saying on a T-shirt: My daughter and my money both go to college.
6. Bumper-sticker: Pharmacists are indispensable.
5. Sign in a dentist’s office: Patient parking only. All others will be painfully extracted.
4. Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: Reserved for plant manager.
3. Boyfriend wanted: No experience necessary. Will train.
2. Sign on a closed store: This store is guarded by a very mean dog 3 nights a week. You guess which nights.
1. Sign on a hearing aid shop: Trust us. Over 5000 ears of experience.
THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER
Sometimes you’re just not physically qualified to commit a crime.
FILE #: In Romania, an unidentified man got into an argument with some of his friends and, to prove to them that he could do it, he stole a car. He smashed the window, used a screwdriver to start the ignition and drove off down a busy road. Unfortunately, he only made it about a half a mile before crashing into a tree. He told the cops he crashed because he didn’t know the way home. I think there might have been another problem. You see, the reason his friends didn’t think he could pull off the crime is because our guy is legally blind.
FILE #2: In Nashville, the court hearing for 19-year-old Denza D. McGee got underway. Denza was accused of fatally shooting a man. During the hearing, Denza’s buddy 23-year-old Gerald Cunningham showed up to give moral support. However, the sole witness who was in court to identify Denza said she also recognized Mr. Cunningham as his partner in the shooting so Mr. Cunningham was immediately pulled out of the gallery and arrested.
FILE #3: From Longview, Washington comes the story of Edmund Arnold who robbed a bank, then walked over to the convenience store nearby. He bought himself a drink, went outside and sat down on a park bench to enjoy it. Unfortunately, the park was across the street from the police station. An officer looking out the window spotted him and noticed that he fit the description of the robber. The officer walked across the street and arrested him.
STRANGE LAW: In North Dakota it is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS
A recent study suggests that adolescents who regularly smoke marijuana run a risk of damaging a portion of the brain associated with language development. Brain scans revealed microscopic abnormalities in a region of the brain that controls higher aspects of language. ***MARLAR: Do you think this is why pot smokers call each other dude?
What’s your favorite “One Hit Wonder?” Call in and we’ll play it!
In an effort to teach people not to leave valuable items in their cars, British police officers will be wandering the streets looking for stuff to steal. If you don’t have your doors locked, the cops will take your stuff. Because they’re cops, they’ll also be kind enough to leave a note explaining what happened, but the point is to teach people to be more responsible. “The message to car owners is: ‘Help us to help you,'” said Richmond Police Chief Inspector Duncan Slade in a statement. ***PHONER: What do you think… good idea, or is this going to backfire?
BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!
QUESTION: To help Moses, God poured out His Spirit on how many elders of Israel?
ANSWER: Seventy (Numbers 11:16-17)
QUESTION: What was unique about US President James Buchanan’s First Lady, Harriet Lane?
ANSWER: She wasn’t his wife. James Buchanan was the only president of the United States never to marry. During his term in office, his niece Harriet Lane played the role of the First Lady.
TRUE OR FALSE
Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!
- Assuming Rudolph was in front, there are over 40,000 ways to arrange the other eight reindeer. (True)
- The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene. (True)
- Shakespeare was 46 when the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is shake and the 46th word from the last word is spear. (True)
- Bulls are attracted to the color red. (False, they’re actually color blind and chase those red capes of the matadors only due to the motion, not the color)
- People who have night jobs weigh less on average than people with day jobs. (False – they weigh more)
- During the first year puppies grow 100 times faster than human infants do. (False – but they do grow 10 times faster)
- Only about one third of the episodes of “Gilligan’s Island” are actually about the castaways getting off the island. (True)
- Without food coloring Coca-Cola would be clear. (False – actually it would be green)
- Nobody has any idea where Mozart is buried. (True)
- 3000 puppies are born in the U.S. every hour. (False – actually 3000 puppies will be born in the time it takes to say 3000 puppies! That’s about 3,000 puppies per SECOND!)
TABLOID MATCH GAME
You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!
“Deputy Arrests __________ For DUI!” (HIS OWN WIFE)
In Elko, Nevada, 11-year police veteran Charlotte Moore was charged with DUI after her hubby Mike pulled her over. According to one report, she allegedly drove off before she could be given a breathalyzer test so Mike pulled her over again and called for backup. Mrs. Moore is now on paid administrative leave. Wonder how Mike’s doing trying to keep the peace at home!
THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY
It’s the day before Christmas and Darth says to Luke “I know what you’re getting me. I felt your presents”.
A woman called up the fire department and said, “Look, I’ve just had a new rock garden built and I’ve just planted some new roses, and…”
The fireman said, “Where’s the fire?”
She said, “I’ve just spent a lot of money having my lawn mowed and my hedges clipped. Some of my new plants are very expensive…”
He said, “Look, lady, you don’t want the fire department, you want a flower shop.”
She said, “No, I don’t. The house next door is on fire, and I don’t want you clumsy fireman stamping all over my garden when you come over.”
After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, “Mom, I’ve decided I’m going to be a minister when I grow up.”
“That’s okay with us,” the mother said, “But what made you decide to be a minister?”
“Well,” the boy replied, “I’ll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit still and listen.”
A research study shows eating too much red meat may produce just as much cancer as smoking. ***MARLAR: So beware the dangers of second-hand cheeseburgers…
Some airlines now plan to start selling advertising space on their air-sickness barf bags. ***MARLAR: Finally, the perfect medium for advertising Michael Moore movies.
LEAVE OUT THE CUSS WORDS
The teacher asked one of her students what his father thought of his report card. “Shall I leave out the cuss-words?” He asked.
“Yes, of course.”
“Well, he didn’t say nothing.”
IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!
You think your job stinks? Try this one. Researchers at a Canadian university have recruited six people to sniff pig manure.
…the scientists at the University of Alberta are trying to find out how close pig barns should be built to where humans reside (how about as far as possible?!). The manure-sniffers meet three times a week for the two hour sessions and are paid $10 an hour. They were chosen after a passing a test to show they could smell properly. Another university will be conducted test to see how far away you want to be from people who spent the last two hours sniffing manure.
In a related story, the “Ham” is anything but “Heavenly” in Stuart, Florida these days as 2 pig farmers and a Florida Golf Resort are going to court against one another. Why? The Golf Resort is suing the owners of a neighboring pig farm for disrupting their multi-million dollar investment by playing loud country music to their pigs. That, along with the fact that the smell of the swine is “unreasonable and disturbs Florida Club Golfers and its homeowners from the use of the property”, according to an attorney for the Florida Club. ***MARLAR: What I don’t understand is that the pig farmers were there first – but the Florida Club built the resort anyway! Did they think the pig smells would be removed along with the trees?
ELMO AND THE POWER OF LOVE
How the popular Sesame Street character makes the world a better place–by his best friend and puppeteer.
By Kevin Clash with Gary Brozek
When I tell folks what I do for a living (“What’dya mean you’re Elmo? You’re a forty-five-year-old six-foot African American male with a deep voice, get outta here”), after they regain their composure, they ask me to explain Elmo’s popularity. Elmo is instantly recognizable in nearly every country in the world. He knows heads of state, A-list celebrities, world-class athletes, Oscar winners, Tony winners, Grammy winners, spelling-bee winners, and lots of babies. If Elmo had a cell phone, it would never stop ringing. Why is this little fur-and-foam bundle of energy such a phenomenon?
I have a one-word answer: love. Elmo connects with children and adults on the purest and most fundamental level, and that is the human desire to love and be loved. It’s as simple as that.
He may not look like it, but that Elmo’s a love machine.
When parents tell me, “My child lives for Elmo,” I tell them that Elmo lives because of their child’s love for him. I don’t just mean that Elmo is alive in their child’s imagination, though that is certainly a part of it. That child and Elmo aren’t just experiencing love; they’re creating more of it to go around, and in doing so they make the world a better place.
It works like this: Elmo feeds off the love he receives from kids, from the adult characters on the show, and from his fellow Muppets. He doesn’t just take that love in as a fuel and use it up. Instead, he drinks it in and gives it right back in spades. He’s a kind of love-energy power station, and the more love he takes in, the more love he produces for the rest of the world. The more love he produces, the more love he receives, and the cycle completes itself over and over again. Talk about a renewable resource!
I first saw this powerful cycle in action shortly after Elmo debuted and was gaining in popularity in the mid-1980s, when I did an appearance with him at a school in the Bronx. A group of preschoolers were gathered in the library, all of them bundles of fidgeting energy with their legs swinging like metronomes. As soon as Elmo said, “Hello, everybody! Elmo loves you!” it was like a floodgate had opened, and Elmo and I were awash in a surge of little children. I could almost feel an electric charge in the room, as their shouts of “I love you, Elmo!” reverberated off the cinder-block walls. Elmo laughed and opened his arms wide and tried to scoop up all the love and hug it to his chest, all the while repeating “Elmo loves you, too.”
That may have been the first time in my adult life when I finally comprehended the ancient notion that what you put out in the universe comes back to you. Since that day, I’ve learned to try to put as much Elmo and Kevin love out into the world as I can, knowing that it will have a very positive ripple effect. Elmo and the children taught me that one. Somewhere along the road to adulthood, we seem to forget this little secret about the power of love, but it’s worth remembering.
When children tell Elmo that they love him, they all have different styles of expressing their emotion. Some of the more demonstrative kids throw their arms around his neck, snuggle their faces against his, and with an eyes-closed, sigh-heaving, hand-me-my-Tony-Award gesture that projects to the very last row of the theater’s balcony, they proclaim their undying devotion to Elmo in prose as purple as Telly Monster. “Oh, Elmo, I love you more than chocolate ice cream! More than I love the new baby! Please come and live in my house forever!”
Older kids are a little more matter-of-fact, as if they’ve been married for twenty years and they’re picking up their keys and their bag and heading out the door with an affectionate but perfunctory “Love you.” Still others are more shy and reserved, like the bashful and nervous teen letting his or her feelings be known to their crush for the first time. I often wonder how these children will express their love as adults and how many of them will remain demonstrative and unembarrassed, or if they’ll naturally pull back into more conservative styles as they grow older. It would be ridiculous if we all greeted each other the way the more enthusiastic kids greet Elmo — imagine how long it would take to get that first cup of coffee at the office with all the morning greetings in full swing! — but still, doesn’t imagining a love-filled world like that put a smile on your face?
Children approach Elmo differently depending on their age, but they also are inevitably influenced by the kinds of physical demonstrations of affection they receive at home. Elmo wants to reach all kids, and sometimes he can be like that overly enthusiastic puppy who finds everything in the world so fresh and new and wonderful that he can’t contain himself. Just as kids may squeal in delight when they first see a puppy and then retreat in leg-hugging, face-shielding fear when the puppy starts to jump on them, Elmo can evoke the same response. Over time, I’ve learned to think quickly on my feet, to gauge the kinds of responses I’m getting from a child and either tone down or amp up Elmo’s enthusiasm level accordingly. I constantly have to remind myself that even though they’ve seen Elmo countless times on television, they’re meeting him face-to-face for the very first time.
The funny thing is, no two kids are alike. I’ve seen the quiet ones respond with smiles and giggles that escalate to a full-on Elmo love attack — the eardrum-piercing, vibrating, arms-wide, hugging and squeezing and kissing frontal assault. Other shy kids need a little bit of time to warm up to Elmo and his “de-monster-ative” displays of affection. But in the end, they all come around.
DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL
“My people have been lost sheep. Their shepherds have led them astray; They have turned them away on the mountains. They have gone from mountain to hill; They have forgotten their resting place” –Jeremiah 50:6
It is interesting to watch people. Have you ever sat in the mall and just watched? There are those who know where they are going and what they are looking for. These folk are moving along at a near run heading to their destination. Then there are those who are just not in a big hurry. What ever the reason, they are wandering the halls looking right and left to see what they can see in the windows. When they enter a store, they float from department to department looking this way and that. On occasion they find something and buy it, but it is the experience of shopping they enjoy the most.
Another group of individuals also inhabit the malls. These are folk that have no idea where they are, what they are looking for, or where to find it. They are the “Lost Mall Walkers.” If you find yourself behind one of these individuals, you may be trapped in the slow lane for many feet.
While this latter group is interesting in the mall, they are dangerous on the streets. These are the drivers who turn right from the left turn lane. They never use turn signals. They wander from lane to lane drifting in the direction they happen to be looking at the moment. You never know what they are going to do. It is impossible to predict the outcome of an encounter with them. They cause more accidents – and never seem to be involved in one themselves. They honestly believe they are GOOD DRIVERS!
There is something that is even more dangerous than a lost driver. The lost Christian! A lost Christian is the one who floats from church to church looking for the perfect preacher/teacher. They are not concerned about doctrine – they are interested in how they feel. If a preacher makes them feel good, they stick around for a while. If someone offends their tender sensibilities, they storm off to the next congregation.
The danger of this is that they never go quietly. They are the first to criticize, and the last to tithe. They offer no hesitation to tell everyone within shouting distance how crude and insensitive the folk at ABC Church are. What’s more, in doing so, they often keep people from finding the love and mercy they so desperately need.
Should you know people like this, watch out when you pass them! But, even more importantly, do what you can to love them. It could be that you will be the one who helps them find their way to the foot of the cross.
Kids don’t jump on the bed, because you never know where you are going to land!
An eight-year-old boy from Germany is fortunate to be alive after jumping on his bed and bouncing out a second floor window! Alexander and his sister Jennifer were supposed to be sleeping when they decided to have a jumping contest on his twin bed. Alexander bounced a little too much and went flying out the window. Fortunately, the youngster landed in a bush outside his grandparents’ house and despite a 15-feet fall escaped with only minor back injuries.
LIFE… LIVE IT
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF FACEBOOK
- Thou shall not post or tag friends on embarrassing or incriminating photos. This is what yearbooks or scrapbooks are for — things that exist on dusty shelves for a select few to enjoy and mock — not the internet, where potential employers and lovers can be scared away.
- Thou shall not post photo or video updates of thy children’s potty training.
Just don’t. It’s gross, embarrassing, and demeaning to the kids.
- Thou shall not use Facebook to converse with thine own significant other.
Say what you need to say in person, over the phone, on IM, or email. No one else cares or needs to follow your conversation or relationship drama/boasting.
- Thou shall not endlessly self-promote. A link to an article, TV appearance, or a newspaper mention every once in a blue moon is fine. A daily reminder that you need votes for the “Mad Men” walk-on part competition is just obnoxious.
- Thou shall not propose, ask someone out, or dump anyone via wall messages or status updates. What. Is. Wrong with people?
- Thou shall not IM anyone you haven’t spoken to in over a decade. Once, I was browsing on Facebook and got an IM from someone I hadn’t spoken to since high school. “How’s it going?” he said, “What’s new?” What’s new? Since 1987? Um, well, I got my driver’s license, for one thing. Don’t put people in a position where they have to: a) quickly sum up the last decade of their lives in four or five sentences, and b) act like they care about your life.
- Thou shall not stalk exes and/or ex’s new loves. Not only is it damaging to your own well-being, it’s, like, kinda psycho. So, just don’t. Go for a jog or join a book club or something.
- Thou shall not use Facebook as a diet and workout diary. Seriously, no one cares if you ate a salad for dinner last night and ran 3.1 miles before work this morning. Who are you trying to impress? Plus, go eat a muffin.
- Thou shall not “spoil” TV shows in one’s status update. Rudeness!
- Thou shall post clear, updated photos of thyself. Why else do you think people from your past are friending you in the first place?!
JUST FOR FUN
SCENT OF A CHILD
A couple from the UK have named all three of their children after perfumes.
Parents Danny and Dominique Regan have an eight-year old son Klein, 13-month old daughter Angel and new-born baby girl Dior. The couple insists they didn’t realize the connection until recently. Danny found it funny since they indeed have Calvin Klein and Christian Dior perfume on hand and apparently his mother’s favorite scent is Angel. ***MARLAR: It’s a good thing they discovered this early… they were about to add two more names to the list – “Old Spice” and “Leather!”
SIGNS YOU’RE A BACKSLIDER
- The last three worship services you’ve attended have all been on Christmas Eve.
- The last time you read the Bible there were only three Gospels.
- The last 3,243 prayers you’ve made all ended with the phrase, “and bless this food to our body’s use.”
- The last time the offering was passed you seriously considered “borrowing” a few bucks.
- The bumper sticker on your car says, “I’m a Christian, but I’m NOT honking for anyone!”
- The last time you were at a Church potluck, casseroles and jellied salads hadn’t yet been invented.
MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…
MILK IT FOR ALL IT’S WORTH
A dairy trade association says the term “soy milk” is misleading and the makers of soy-based drinks ought to stop using it. The Arlington, Va.-based National Milk Producers Federation is calling on the U.S. Food and Drug Administration to restrict use of the word milk saying federal regulations limit the term to the stuff that comes from dairy cows. The dairy group’s initiative caught the American Soybean Association by surprise. ASA spokesman Bob Callanan wonders whether the dairy group would seek similar restrictions on such products as goat’s milk, and coconut milk. ***MARLAR: Hmm, I guess that means milk of magnesia is gone too!
OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP
Starbucks says you’ll never wait in line again. The mega coffee chain is rolling out its mobile app feature called Mobile Order and Pay nationwide, allowing its customers the ability to preorder and pay for food and beverages before they get to the store, bypassing the line completely. Although the app had a soft launch in Portland in December and other areas of the country earlier this summer, it is now available at more than 7,400 stores in the United States. ***Although I personally won’t be happy until they also offer free delivery.
Tillie the dog is being hailed as a hero for watching over his canine best friend, Phoebe, for a whole week after the two strayed from home and Phoebe fell into a cistern. According to the dogs’ rescuer and owner, the two dogs escaped from their home in Vashon, Washington, when the front door was left ajar on Sept. 7. The ABC News report says The “duo” was lost for a week before a community member reported seeing one of the dogs. An investigation of the area discovered Phoebe stuck in a cistern and Tillie standing just above the cistern watching guard over Phoebe. The dogs were starving and exhausted but otherwise in good health.
Teens who drink energy drinks a lot are more likely to get head injuries than those who don’t consume the highly caffeinated beverages. A new study from Canada found teens who had consumed energy drinks in the past week have increased odds of having a traumatic brain injury. In fact, according to the Fox News report, the chance was five times greater than it was for teens who didn’t consume energy drinks at all.
AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” –Mark Twain
THE WAY WE WORK
(Updated as it comes available. The Way WE Work is written by Mark Elfstrand from 1160Hope.com in Chicago.)
Today is September 21st. Peace Day. More on that in a moment. But to answer the famous question, “Can’t we all just get along?” The answer is no.
Take this recent story headline from Associated Press: “Burger King to McDonalds: Let’s make a McWhopper.” Full page ads in various newspapers carried the message. A one day truce it was called. For the betterment of mankind, of course.
Burger King was attempting to get a cooperative effort with the “Golden Arches” folk to build a unique combination of a Whopper and a Big Mac. But only for a day. Peace Day.
As the AP story goes, “Burger King is tying the publicity stunt to a nonprofit called Peace One Day, which says it promotes Peace Day. The United Nations created the International Day of Peace in 1981 to coincide with its annual opening session in September. It then designated September 21 as the annual ‘day of non-violence and cease-fire’ in 2001.”
Call it a noble act. Call it promotional gimmickry. Ronald McDonald is not interested in such peace efforts. Ronald may smile at the kids, but not at the competition. Their CEO Steve Easterbrook in responding with a “no way” message, belittled the effort of burger war peace compared to “the real pain and suffering of war.” He then added, “P.S., simple phone call will do next time.” Put that in your Whopper and chew on it for a while. C’mon, man!
Well, I’m in a different kind of battle with the fast food giants. One that pleads for simple, friendly customer service and the basics in operating a restaurant. Allow me to share several examples.
At the McDonald’s I frequently stop at on my way home when my wife is out, most employees give me no welcome greeting. When I pick up my food, no “thank you.” At the Wendy’s near my office, the ketchup containers have been empty twice during the lunch hours I visited. And they were out of napkins. Hello…it’s lunch time. At Culver’s drive through, my last three meals came with no napkins. And the latest: on Friday night, my wife had a hankering for KFC grilled chicken. It was during the dinner hours but none was available. They were cooking it. Instead of serving it.
One of my favorites on this list happened a week or so ago taking our granddaughter to IKEA. They served up chicken fingers which yearned for barbecue sauce. Except…there wasn’t any. Inquiring at the counter I was told they’ve been out for a few days. My problem solving went into gear and I suggested that since a Meijer grocery story was two blocks away, maybe they could simply go and buy some until their shipment arrived so as not to disappoint customers. The young woman thought that was a good idea.
Aside from the expected reaction that “Mark, fast food isn’t very good for you anyway” I wish to affirm two companies who seem to get it right the majority of the time. One is Chick Fil A. Their folks go out of their way to make sure I have what I need. And the tireless service motto that they own is, “My pleasure.”
The second high energy, high service minded company is In-N-Out Burger. Mainly located in California, they are a fan favorite and outperform their competitors in serving up burgers and fries. They also are the ones who imprint Bible verse references on their cups and fry containers.
And so it begs the question…how can these two companies do it right so consistently? I believe it is based on a passion for the customer. Yes, you have to have food that people enjoy. All of the fast food companies lay claim to that. But not all can lay claim to placing such emphasis on customer care.
For the record, my father managed several different Perkins restaurants during my growing up years. I worked in all but one. At peak times, customer care can be a real challenge. If it’s your mission, however, you finesse it as needed.
I believe most people want to be treated well. They enjoy being respected when spending their hard earned money for a meal. They respond to people who care.
Jesus of Nazareth advised us this way, “In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” (Luke 7:12 NASB)
Do this, Ronald McDonald, and everyone will enjoy a happy meal.
P.S.: My apologies to any franchise owners or managers who want their employees to serve better.
That’s The Way WE Work.
THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER
Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).
SEPTEMBER 25, 2015…
99 Homes (opening in select cities)–Andrew Garfield is a single Dad and gets chased out of his home because of non-payment. In order to get money, he is hired by a real estate man (Michael Shannon) who doesn’t care how he gets the money owed. Sad situations. Also in the cast is Laura Dern. “99 Homes” is rated R. No rating.
Hotel Transylvania 2—In this animated comedy, the story continues from the first film where a hotel was run for monsters to come and relax. Count Dracula has a daughter and she married and now has a son, the Count’s grandson. Who does the child resemble, the Count (with fangs) or the humans (no fangs). With others monsters about to help (and scare) the Count tries to baby-sit in his dubious way. Adam Sandler is the voice of the Count. “Hotel Transylvania 2” is rated PG. Rating of 3 for fans.
Mississippi Grind—Anything to earn money, that is what happens to Ryan Reynolds and Ben Mendelsohn when they have to gamble on a modern day Mississippi riverboat to get funds. Win some, lose a lot. “Mississippi Grind” is rated R. No rating.
Stonewall (opening in select cities)—This Stonewall refers to the riots of 1969 around the Stonewall Inn in Greenwich Village. Those were unsettling times (something like today) and concern gay rights. The film stars Jeremy Irvine and is directed by Roland Emmerich. “Stonewall” is rated R. No rating.
The Intern—Robert DeNiro is retired and wants to do something interesting, so he applies for a job as a business “intern,” to learn the ropes. Robert dresses in a suit, tie, manners and doesn’t look the part of your usual intern, namely casual clothing. Enter Anne Hathaway who heads a fashion business and is looking for assistance. When the two meet, well, you can guess the surprise in this tongue-in-cheek comedy about ages. “The Intern” is rated PG 13. Rating of 3 for fans.
SEPTEMBER 30, 2015…
The Walk is a harrowing film starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt as French street performer Philippe Petit who walked between the Twin Trade Towers on a wire (tightrope).
OCTOBER 02, 2015…
Freeheld (opening in select cities) Julianne Moore and Ellen Page is about a romance between a woman and a younger woman and what happens when one is ill.
Legend has Emily Browning and Tom Hardy married, though he is a criminal.
The Martian stars Matt Damon as a man thought dead and left behind on Mars. Except he is alive.
*Sicario starring Emily Blunt is now opening Oct. 2
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