1. Create boundaries. Boundaries reflect what other people can or cannot do or say to you, for instance, “I am only able to listen to you when you speak calmly without shouting.” This will leave you feeling protected from hurtful situations.
2. Ask people to help you. Choose 3 things today that you can receive help with and ask for it. You will have less to cope with and get done, can stop being a hero who does it all and leave the other person feeling important with a sense of responsibility
3. Quiet your mind at least once a day. Concentrate on your breathing and let all of your thoughts go.
4. Explore and experience your feelings fully. For example, when you feel sad allow yourself to be sad rather than try to pick yourself up and pretend it doesn’t manner. It’s okay to feel sad, happy, frustrated…accepting your feelings rather than fighting them helps you to know where in your life to make changes and reduce stress.
5. Plan a fun activity every day. It can be for just 5 minutes or as long as you want such as watching a comedy, dancing, a water-pistol fight with friends…. You will have something to look forward to each day, keeping fun and balance in your life.
6. Communicate your feelings using the statement “I feel….” Such as, “I feel unimportant when you don’t telephone me during the day.” You will feel less conflict as you are owning your feelings and talking about the other person’s behavior, not them personally.
7. Write in your journal every day. Find a time that works best for you, maybe first thing in the morning or last thing at night and write about your thoughts, feelings, ideas, stressful situations…. You will safely explore and clarify your life and priorities, enabling you to make choices and to take action based on these.
8. Take time for yourself on a regular basis. Perhaps you might take a long bath, read, have quiet time alone or whatever feels good for you. You will feel good about yourself and more relaxed and energized to enjoy your life more fully.
9. Use the words “Would you…” when asking for things. For example, “Would you look after my plants while I am on holiday?” You are more likely to achieve a ‘yes’ as the other person is left feeling capable and having a choice rather than being told to what to do.
10. Show your appreciation. Every day tell someone that you appreciate them, “I appreciate the way you’ve supported me through this emotional time.” We all need to feel appreciated and showing appreciation to others will allow you to live in a more loving way.