Things You Won’t Read In a Hallmark Card


THINGS YOU WON’T READ IN A HALLMARK CARD

FRONT: As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am,
INSIDE: That you’re not here to ruin it for me.

FRONT: Congratulations on your promotion.
INSIDE: Before you go though, would you like to take this knife out of my back? You’ll probably need it again.

FRONT: Looking back over the years that we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder:
INSIDE: What the heck was I thinking?

FRONT: I always wanted to be rich, powerful, and well respected.
INSIDE: And while I’m dreaming, I wish you weren’t so ugly.

FRONT: When we were together, you always said you’d die for me.
INSIDE: Now that we’ve broken up, I think it’s time you kept your promise.

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