Today is COMPLIMENT YOUR MIRROR DAY. ***MARLAR: Never mind that it’s never complimentary to me.
Today is STAY OUT OF THE SUN DAY, for the sake of your health. ***MARLAR: It’s just a temporary thing though, because you know you’ll be back out in the sun tomorrow playing with explosives.
DOG DAYS begin today. Traditionally, the hottest 40 days of the year, blamed by our ancient ancestors on Sirius, the Dog Star. ***MARLAR: They used to think Sirius was a god and actually sacrificed dogs to it, hence the name. You could do that today, but the SPCA might get a bit upset… but you can always use your grill and sacrifice a hot dog.
AIR CONDITIONING APPRECIATION DAYS begin today. ***MARLAR: If our ancestors had air conditioning they wouldn’t have worshipped Sirius the Dog Star. They would’ve worshiped the god, Freon.
And finally, tomorrow is INDEPENDENCE FROM MEAT DAY, sponsored by the Vegetarian Awareness Network in Knoxville, Tennessee. ***MARLAR: Proving that you’ll always have to deal with a few duds on Independence Day.