Too Fat For Wii Fit

wii-fitI have figured something out when it comes to this whole new diet and exercise routine of mine. There is no manly way to say, “I’m getting in shape by playing with my Wii”.

Now I would say, “playing with my Wii FIT” – but apparently, I don’t FIT on the Wii FIT. I’m too heavy for it.

So apparently, the Wii has a hidden weight level. You’ve got “underweight”, “normal”, “overweight”, “obese”, and then “Get off me you fat truck of lard!”

Yeah. The system actually displays “Uh oh – you exceed my weight limit.” It’s plastic, for cryin’ out loud. And it weighs more than my actual scale – and my scale never talks back to me and says “Help, you’re crushing me!” Why? Because it knows fat people are going to get on it – those are the people scales are typically made for and sold to. But apparently, not the Wii Fit!

How is this even possible? The whole reason I bought a Wii Fit – is to get fit. I know I’m a big fat bacon-filled slob… that’s why I bought the thing.

But apparently, Japan is saying “you can’t use the Wii Fit unless you’re already fit.”

“Dear Nintendo, could you please build a more heavy-duty version for America? Call it the Wii FAT! We’re America… WE FAT!”

WiiFitFINALboxMy goal now is to lose weight… so I can finally get down to a weight that appeases my Wii Fit.

Fortunately, I can still use the Wii Fit… it makes a great TV tray for nachos and cheesecake. So problem solved.

 

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