VALENTINE NO-NOS

VALENTINE NO-NOS.
There’s a lot of advice going around about what you SHOULD give your sweetie for Valentine’s Day. But equally important is what NOT to give her. Here’s a few examples. Do NOT give her:
o A box of chocolates, clumsily rearranged in an attempt to hide the fact you ate all the caramel ones.
o Any clothing item with the words “push-up” or “slim-down” on the label.
o Any food item with the words “diet”, “light”, or “high fiber” on the label.
o Any video starring Sylvester Stallone, Vin Diesel or Jim Carrey.
o Flowers from a hospital’s gift shop — or worse, a mortuary’s.
o Anything you ever gave another woman, including your mother.
o Anything you could pick up at a hardware store.
o Anything you could have bought at the gas station mini-mart on the way over, even if you didn’t.
o A Hickory Farms cheese ball
o A catchers mitt
o Nose hair trimmers
o Overalls
o Jewelry that comes in a plastic bubble from a supermarket
o Frozen tater tots
o Anything from a drug store
o A chilled bottle of Mop and Glow
o Anything that says “one size fits all”
o A toilet brush
o Leftover Halloween candy
o A Valentine balloon on a broken stick
o An extension cord with a bow on it
o A “Star Trek” calendar
o An apologetic look and the words, “That was today?”

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