Want A Happy Marriage? Tell Your Spouse When You’re Upset With Them!
If you’re angry at him for leaving dirty dishes in the sink, say so. If you’re upset with her for ignoring you at the end of a long day, speak up. Holding it in with the idea of not starting an argument is the fastest way to kill a marriage. Why? It creates emotional distance. The Rev. David Code, an Episcopal priest, family coach and author of “To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First,” says couples today are quick to suppress the urge to argue with one another. “But just because you seldom argue doesn’t mean your marriage is strong. The real silent killer of marriage is distancing yourself from your partner,” he writes in a column published in the Christian Science Monitor. Code insists that couples should worry more about their flight response, which is the instinct to avoid your partner, than their fight response, the instinct to argue it out verbally.