You Cannot Be My Friend, Sorry.

My new hobby? Facebook. I don’t like all of the applications it keeps asking me to get involved with, so I always block those – but it’s cool finding high school friends I haven’t spoken with in… gee…twenty-two years? (DANG, I really AM old!) Downside… if you ask too many high school friends and acquaintances to be your friends, Facebook slaps you on the wrist with a warning. Apparently, asking people to be your friend can be considered a form of harassment. Really? What has happened to this world?

Remember when you were in elementary school and the teachers would tell you on the first day that you were going to make a bunch of new friends? You never did make a billion friends though, because you were the new kid, or the weird looking kid, or the fat kid, or the kid with red hair. Wait a minute… that’s was me. Never mind.

The point is, you were encouraged to ask the other kids to be your friends and to talk with them during recess. As an adult you’re not allowed to do that, as Facebook considers that harassment.

So… if I don’t come to you asking if you want to play Four Square or Tag, if I don’t come up wanting to show you the frog in my pocket I found in the grass next to the teeter-totter, or if I never ask you if you like Tommy from home room class because he kinda likes you and would you please check “Yes” or “No” on this piece of paper to prove that I did speak with you on his behalf… well, don’t worry. I’m not dissing you or anything like that, I’m just afraid that a potential friendship with you may jeopardize my Facebook status.

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